


Flickers.

by Saffello



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Clones, DYAD, Death, F/F, Hurt, Love, Multi, Science, Suicide, War, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-11 04:57:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 112,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2054502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saffello/pseuds/Saffello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'There are no sides, just people who will help you and those who won't.' This story focuses on Sarah Manning who gets caught up in a wind storm of drama, clones and imprisonment in the DYAD institute for the criminally insane. </p><p>This story will be nothing you have read before. Recommended if you need a whole new Orphan Black to read during the shows hiatus. An amazing developed story line, packed with clones, link to the real show, new characters, new developments, new story lines. Lots of feels, lots of fluff, love sex and mature themes throughout.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. White Russian

**Author's Note:**

> If you feel this first story is too strong for you, jump to chapter two where the story really takes off (for readers who want to avoid Rachel/Helena). 
> 
> This story will like nothing you have ever read before. The story is ever changing and developing, constant chapter updates and over 80,000 words and 115 pages later we have a well developed character fuelled, clone fest. 
> 
> There are parts for everyone. 
> 
> Enjoy, and good luck.

Part 1: 

“What you need to understand Beth is that 3 months later you still have not made any progress in your treatment.” Dr. Leekie told me, sat on his seat in the cold white room. As usual I stared back at him, not willing to cooperate until they at least believe some of what I was saying. 

“Maybe the treatments not working doc because I am not ill!” I replied, I always said this. Maybe that was insanity, you keep telling the same story enough when no one believes you, you even start to disbelieve it. 

“Beth, please understand my position here. I have been given a very specific description of what to do for you here--”

“And what's that, lock me in a room and feed me on metal plates through a hatch, then fuck with my head in our 'treatment sessions'?! I don't even remember what happens in them.” I couldn't help but get so angry at what he was saying to me. How dare he. 

“Ok. I have an idea, I just learned it at this medical conference of the DYAD group, there is very interesting research behind this theory. What I want you to do is write a short story for me, the first thing that comes to mind. Try to delve into your subconscious, create characters, lives, anything you want.--” Already I was hating the idea, everything he suggests in here is stupid. I am not Beth Child's, I did not kill Maggie Chan and I did not need to write a fucking story to make this real!

 

Sarah Manning Entry 001, 7th January 2013

“Sestra?” Helena stared glaze eyed at the fish tank, her fingers gently tapping the glass. She watched the fishes jump at the sound and then re emerge from their hiding places. Helena loved the fishes, how they ran and would stupidly come back each and every time there was a pause. Sarah hasn't replied to her. Once the fishes had gone back to normality Helena snapped her neck to look around the motel room. Through the hazy evening summer light from between the curtains the room was only just illuminated enough. The smell of old cigarettes and sex filled the air as she wondered where Sarah had gone. 

“Sarah.” Helena called out into the air again. Her fingers tapped on the glass one more time as her body lifted her up and took her to the table and two chairs by the mini fridge. On the desk were papers, pictures, more papers and unimportant boring stuff that Helena did not care for. Fingers flipped papers and tossed pictures, but one caught her attention. Nimbly her index flipped it over to see the date, but there was only a name. 

“So-crates?” Helena read aloud, and stared at the scribbled name on the photo. But this did not interest her. She wanted food. Helena jumped out of her seat combing her hair with her fingers and felt around in Sarah's for food. Senses felt silk, denim, metal...She pulled out the m9 pistol between her finger and thumb and stared at it, how it reflected the summer light and how it could kill. Quickly she let it drop. Instead she kept looking for food, coming up empty. A sigh escaped her plump lips. 

“Food time.” Helena's thick Ukrainian accent crawled through her words as she walked to the door pressing her ear against its hard wooden surface, her hand on the handle. No noise. On opening the door she peaked around the corner down the balcony walk, first left and then right. Her foot stepped out around the corner and she stood flat against the wall as the door clicked shut. No noise. Carefully, and a little clumsily she slid along the wall avoiding the balcony fence edge, avoiding detection. Pausing, she knocked on the next door down with the back of her fist. 

“House-cleaning.” Helena shouted and waited. No reply. Quickly she tried the handle before finding it locked. Teeth bit down on her bottom lip in frustration and her hands felt over the lock. One hand went to her hair and pulled out some hair pins, the other stuck its finger into the lock hole and tested it out. Within a few seconds she had picked the lock, and she pounced in flipping the light on and shutting the door behind her. Food. First she ran to the mini fridge awkwardly pulling it open and almost taking it off of its plastic hinges. Inside were various mini bottles of vodka, schnapps and other alcohols. But there was a packaged item. Again her hands were in play, taking the package out of the fridge, closing the door with her foot and sitting on the bed. Rashly she pulled it open tearing parts to get inside. Inside was a day old bean burruito, although Helena didn't know the age of it, she sunk her teeth into straight away. Ripping it apart and shoving the food into her mouth and down to her stomach as if she hadn't eaten in weeks. When in reality she hadn't eaten in only one day. When the burrito was finished she chucked the wrapping to the floor carelessly and kneeled down in front of the mini fridge again, taking the alcoholic contents into her carrying elbow and sat back on the bed. One by one she lifted them to her eyes, the vodka had a silver and red label, the schnapps a grey modern look and the others were less important as she twisted the cap and poured it into her open mouth. Soon she had finished them and fell back onto the bed staring at the white old motel ceiling. 

“How much longer?” She called into the air with her full stomach and slightly dizzy head distracting her. “Oh sestra.” She sighed and closed her eyes. 

… “Sometime soon she will come through. I know her, you could say we are one and the same.” There was a voice just outside of the door followed by a muffling of footsteps and other movements. Helena's eyes snapped open and she fell off of the bed facing the door. Frantically she shut the mini fridge and attempted to run to find somewhere to get out. The voices stopped so she froze. Her eyes darted around the room, the bed, the table set, the small wardrobe? It seemed like slow motion, there was another posh voice and the handle turned. Helena collapsed to the floor flinging herself like a bug under the bed, quickly grabbing the quilt to cover her tracks. 

Helena steadied her tipsy breathing and watched the perfectly heeled feet come into the door, the reflected sun slightly blinded Helena so she squinted her eyes. When she opened them, the heels were right in front of her eye line. 

“Finally.” There was a sigh of relief from the person. Female. The voice was very familiar and and Helena stared at the heels. There was movement and a thick pearl necklace fell to the floor, making Helena jump. Then, a black fabric something fell. Then a black dress fell around her feet. Another sigh. As the items fell to the floor Helena looked around for an escape. The feet in the shiny black heels stepped out of the ring of a black dress. Suddenly a pause. Helena's eyes widened and she was about to move, just run for the hell of it and get out of it. Feet with crimson painted nails stepped out of the heels and placed themselves flat outside of the ring. A hand came down and collected the items. Heart beats getting quicker. No movement. Helena pulled herself closer to the edge of under the bed ready to suddenly get up. But the feet moved away from her to the door. Was she leaving? Helena went to move, but the feet turned to Helena's position and stopped. Helena caught her breath, and squinted in her own tipsy stupidity. The woman came back towards the bed and crawled onto the bed, the sheets shuffling underneath her. Helena saw her chance and pulled herself out from the bed and ran to the door. Locked!

“Stop what you are doing. Put your hands behind your head. And turn around slowly.” Rachel. Helena smiled a twisted smile put her hands above her head and turned around. She realised then that the clothes had been coming off and Rachel sat in her underwear on the bed cross-legged. Although they had the same body, they had both worn them differently. Helena was struck with the memory of the scars and cuts all over her back. She had cut down though, not literally, she had stopped cutting herself, for her mental sake. 

“Bad woman.” Helena croaked out as she saw the gun in Rachel's hand pointed right at her head. Helena half smiled and stared into Rachel's cold eyes, with her own wild and untamed ones. A minute passed and Helena just stared, and so did Rachel. Helena attempted to put her hands by her sides, Rachel's eyes curiously watched her, and then a tenseness came over her. So she pulled harder on the trigger threatening Helena, who put her hands back up. Helena slowly let out a laugh. 

“What?” Rachel ordered a response, slowly getting up from her cross position on the bed, the gun still poised at Helena's heart. With controlled precision Rachel stepped down from the bed and placed her first foot on the slightly damp flow in the cheap motel. Then the next foot followed, her eyes locked on Helena's. It was strange for them. As if Helena were looking into her own eyes. Like a mirror, except they were foreign and strange, they had seen millions of different things, people, places, scenarios and Helena's had not. They were not hers, just a copy which had lead a different life. Either way Helena was now not focused on the gun that could kill her, or the fact that Sarah might be looking for her, but on the woman approaching her. The woman, who was not her. 

“You.” Helena finally replied. Rachel had to think again about what Helena was replying to. 

“Where is Sarah?” Rachel asked in her now collected and cool voice. The gun, Helena noticed, had lowered just a little, even though Rachel had not realised. A shot from it would not be immediately fatal, she had suffered many before. 

“I don't know.” Helena answered honestly, “She left. I stay, no food....so I come here, and find you.” Helena's English had improved a lot and her sentences made more sense than before Rachel noticed. There was a pause. Rachel dropped the gun from Helena and put it on the bed side table before coming back to Helena who still, slightly comically was standing there with her hands above her head. 

“Put your hands down.” Rachel commanded, but she didn't even mean to, it just came naturally to her now and she hated it. She relaxed now, her façade of tight snobbish business woman was wearing down on her. “Paul is gone.” Rachel stated and went to the mini fridge, bending down. Her strong thighs caught Helena's attention and her eyes went wide, she may be a clone but she had cared for her body. Her ass was just showing underneath her black lacy underwear and Helena couldn't help but be attracted to it. “Stop!” Helena's eyes snapped to Rachel; she thought she had been caught staring, and like a puppy her eyes softened and she dipped her head. “You drank my alcohol!?” Rachel's quick temper got the better of her and she glared at Helena. Helena glared back. “Ha!” Rachel laughed suddenly, and Helena was shocked. The atmosphere suddenly completely changed. It was tense and almost scary and now because of this sudden outburst; different. Rachel grabbed the last little bottle at the back and stood up carefully walking towards Helena, who's arms were now free. Helena laughed too, just to continue this thing that Rachel had going on. At the time she didn't even realise that Rachel was closing in on her. Helena brought her hand up uneasily toward Rachel's. 

“Sestra?” Helena said as her fingers made contact with Rachel's face, her cheek bone and down her jaw to her chin. 

“Yes?” Rachel answered. Her lips parting slightly as Helena brought her fingers to rest on Rachel's bottom lip. 

“You are very beautiful.” Helena said, her fingers just tapping Rachel's lips. Rachel grabbed Helena's wrist and pulled it down from her face. 

“I know.” Rachel said, suddenly cold again. Helena took no notice of the fact Rachel did not return the compliment. Rachel opened the small bottle of vodka and took Helena's hair in her hand tilting her head backwards. Heavy breaths came from Helena's mouth from the pain of being in a vice, but Rachel parted Helena's lips with a kiss and began to pour the liquid into her open mouth. Once all of the liquid was swallowed Rachel released her head and grabbed Helena's hand which was still wavering by her face.  
Rachel guided Helena's hand down her chest, stroking herself with it, and down to between her legs. The whole time Helena stared with locked eyes. This is all they seemed to do. Helena wasn't sure if she wanted this at all, she had never really been in this situation, so she didn't have any experience. Rachel saw Helena's reaction in her eyes but held her hand between her legs. Helena's ever exploring fingers were still. “Helena, have you done this before.” Helena's eyes were still as her head shook. Rachel smiled, she liked to be in control. “Well you don't have much choice anymore.” Rachel stated and gave Helena an uncharacteristic crooked smile. Rachel's other hand placed itself a little harshly on Helena's shoulder and pushed her against the door she locked before. Helena let her push her backwards and held her hand between Rachel's legs. “Listen to every word I say and do as I say when I say it. Understood?” Rachel ordered, holding Helena's hand tighter. Helena nodded this time. Rachel leaned in closer to her and acted as if she was going to kiss her. Rachel's hand pushed harder against her as their lips connected. They knew each other. In a weird and perverted way they knew exactly what each of them liked. Breathing heavy. Hearts racing. Helena's eyes widening. Helena's fingers suddenly wanted to do something, but what? Rachel felt the tension and moved her own hand to shadow Helena's, rubbing herself over her underwear. Helena suddenly felt an animal urge come over her and she liked the kissing and control. She went to move forward to take control as well, letting her instinct take over. Suddenly Rachel slapped her in the face. 

“No hit me!” Helena cried out. And her free hand cradled her face. 

“Take off your trousers.” Rachel grabbed the rim of Helena's jeans and pulled them away from the skin towards herself, before letting go. Helena's hands were now not under Rachel's control. Helena's wild fingers pulled the button of her jeans loose with a tug and then the zip all the way down, before pulling them down over her hips to her thighs. “Stop.” Rachel bent down and looked at her jeans and the white pants underneath, before kissing the fabric and yanking her jeans down to her ankles, making Helena wobble. She kicked her trousers off and stood there in her white slightly dirty t-shirt and white pants. Rachel got back up and her small blonde bob was slightly messy somehow. “Take off your shirt.” Helena was hesitant and refused. 

“No sestra.” Helena did not want to reveal her scars, but whatever strange sex game Rachel was playing it was almost making her want to. 

“Take of your shirt, sestra.” Rachel got her hands and grabbed the rim of it, her hot hands in contact with cold skin. Helena grabbed Rachel's hands and lifted her own shirt up and over her head. This time she only had a tatty white bra that matched her pants. “Well done.” Rachel ignored her own pleasure for a second, and moved forward her body pressing against Helena's. Leaning towards her right ear. “Do you like to be touched Helena?” Helena did not answer, she just looked across the room. Rachel held onto Helena's shoulders and kissed her hard on the lips, soon Helena kissed back. Roughly Rachel moved her hands over her body, down her arms and to her covered breasts. She massaged them, she knew exactly what would make Helena give. Helena's breathing grew heavier and heavier and she watched Rachel with curious eyes, this had never happened. It was unnatural. Foreign. Rachel watched Helena's face change as she grew more out of her comfort zone. Rachel kissed her neck up and down from her jaw to her collar bone and replaced her hands which flirted sensually down her stomach as she bent down. Helena stared at the top of Rachel's blonde head. 

“This is very..-” Helena began.

“Sh!” Rachel stated. She found the rim of Helena's pants with her own polished finger tips and looked her straight in the eye as her fingers went below the fabric. Helena tensed up. She could feel the anticipation in the way her hips arched forward ever so slightly as if inviting Rachel in. Her mind loved to play this game. Fingers found their way to the beginning of her lips and traced around the edges. Helena's breathing tightened as Rachel felt the arousal in her breasts. One hand slipped under the bra and grabbed her tit, squeezing and playing as her fingers teased her. Helena looked down again over Rachel who was eagerly watching her. Helena didn't know what to do with herself whilst this was happening. What would her hands do. She had only one thing on her mind when all of this was happening. 

“Sestra?” Helena panted out as Rachel's finger pushed between her wet lips in her pants. Rachel did not answer, she just looked into her eyes with a smile on her face, whilst she concentrated on what she was doing. She moved her hand from one breast to the next to even out the pleasure. Her fingers teased her, finding her clitoris and playing with it in circles. Helena's hands waved in the air as she freaked about what was happening. This was her private area, she was not a toy for some sex scene. Where was Sarah? Rachel slipped a teasing finger into her and Helena moaned out into the air, her hands finally coming to rest on Rachel's shoulders. Rachel smiled as she took Helena's hand form her shoulder. 

“I want to fuck you, Helena.” Rachel said simply. It ignited a fire inside of Helena's core and she wanted it, whatever it was, whatever fucking entailed, she wanted it. She wanted it all. Rachel pulled her fingers out from inside of her and licked them with her long tongue, still smiling. Helena stared at her, confused, but aroused as she saw this happening. With their hands attached still Rachel pulled Helena towards the bed. 

“Will you let me fuck you?” Rachel asked, her business woman façade had now completely gone. Replaced by a controlling, sexy Rachel. Helena followed her and sat on the edge of the bed, Rachel around her front standing between her now spread legs. Her pants soaked. 

“Yes.” Helena said, as she went to pull Rachel in. Her face suddenly stung with pain, as Rachel slapped her again. 

“Good.” She said, as she pushed a loose bunch of curly blonde hair behind her ear. “I want you to lay on the bed, put your arms out to the two top corners of the bed.” Helena looked at her, and then pulled herself onto the bed, laying herself back against the sheets, her head on the pillow. Rachel climbed up onto the bed and positioned her legs either side of Helena's hips. Her hands pressing down on her bare stomach. “Do you like to be tied up?” Rachel leaned over to the bedside table and pulled out silver ties, like ribbons. Helena looked at her. Slowly she pulled one of the ribbons between her fingers and leant over her face to tie her hand to the brass posts. Helena watched as Rachel tied her wrists and her eyes wondered down her arm to her chest and up her neck to her head. She didn't look back, but she moved closer to tie the next wrist. Helena smelt the strong scent, feminine, pink in colour. Whatever it actually was perfume wise, it smelt..hot. Slowly Rachel ran her hands from both of her wrists down to her shoulders and rested on her neck in a chocking position. Helena's eyes widened in worry and she went to get up but Rachel pressed her down, one finger pressed down on her lips. 

“I won't hurt you. I want to fuck you.” Rachel grinded her just a little bit as she moved to turn and tied her legs down. Once she had she straddled her again she pressed onto Helena's arms and moved in towards her face. Their lips touched softly at first, not giving too much away, before she kissed harder onto her lips. Her tongue broke the barrier of lips and pushed inside only a little enough to taste, before Helena kissed back wildly, her hands pulling against their ribbons. Her hands held her face still so she could take her. Her fingers held her chin as her other hand searched her body. Without even thinking she moved down her body kissing down her jaw, her neck, her collar bone across her chest. One hand idly opened the side draw as she kissed her chest and found scissors. Helena began to moan and almost scream at the sight, totally vulnerable. Rachel laughed and ignored the moans. Quickly without wavering her kisses she snipped the middle of the bra and released Helena's breasts. She tossed them back on the side table and pulled the material out from behind her to the floor. Helena watched the scissors and smiled awkwardly through her pleasured breathing. Rachel kissed her chest again, first going to her right breast and taking the nipple in between her lips, sucking and playing with it, whilst her hands caressed them both. Once she heard Helena moaning again she moved to the other breast and did the same. Agonisingly slowly Rachel kissed below to the toned stomach, around the belly button and saw as she came closer to Helena's core the reaction over her skin. Goose bumps formed as she got again to the rim of her pants. Helena could lift her head and so she looked down at the blonde bob which was looking back with a sly smile. Rachel's lips grew softer now, her body followed her down to the inners of her thighs where she placed knowing lips. With each one she could feel the tension growing inside of her, the touches sending shocks of pleasure through Helena. As Rachels hands moved to pull the delicate white pants off of Helena something stopped both of them and their heavy pleasured breathing silenced. 

“Hello? Is anybody in?” A strong British accent ripped through them both as a hand knocked on the door and tried the handle. 

“Sestra!” Helena whispers in a shout, Sarah must of heard something so she tried the door again. Rachel's eyes snapped to Helena's and her temper shot the look of 'Dont you dare' to her. Helena's parted mouth closed and she just watched the door. 

“I can hear somebody? Look, have you seen a woman anywhere, big curly blonde hair, looks really tired and sorta ill?” Helena frowned at her description. Rachel wanted to make Helena feel awkward so she restarted kissing and pulling the pants down over her knobbly knees and off to the floor. Helena struggled slightly, wanting to see Sarah rather than this. But the way Rachel knew exactly where to touch her made her melt into her control. 

Outside Sarah let go of the handle running her hands through her thick dark brown hair and turning to look over the balcony to the car park below. There were many cars, old at least all of them were 20 years old, except 3. Her own and two others which were parked next to each other, she could just see some ones outline in one, but the windows were too tinted black to get a good look. Meat head! Sarah thought to herself, as she kicked the balcony fencing. Summer light reflected her big brown eyes and they seemed golden just for a second before going cold in the shade of a balcony pillar. Quickly she knocked again, heard something within and gave up, returning to her room. In the room, she found her rum aged bag and the mini fridge still open. She closed it with her foot and started to re-ensemble her bag. Metal caught her fingers and she pulled out the gun, checked its clip and loaded it, before putting it between her trousers and back under her t-shirt. 

Rachel breathed over Helena's pussy and watched Helena as she caressed the lips on either side, sucking them and licking them, teasing her, as if this was the best she had. Rachel took her legs with her hands and pushed them apart further almost paining Helena but in a pleasurable way as with the movement she pushed inside her, straight away licking from top to bottom, side to side, short pouts around her clit until she could see the struggle in her legs. 

Sarah pulled on her new black DM's which already looked a bit shit and pulled off her black t-shirt, after deciding it was too hot for that crap. Instead she pulled on a vest top Cosima had leant her, which was not her taste at all, but she had no money now for a new one. So she had to put up with black leather look jeans, DM's and a dull tie dye with a spiral of magnetic blues, fruity yellows, hot pinks and tropical greens. This was so not her style. In the small mirror she applied thick eye liners, shadowy mascara and touched up the bags under her eyes with concealer. 

“Sestra!” Helena moaned it was the only word that came to mind at this hectic time. Sestra! Sestra! It was perverted but it felt so good. Even though Helena would have not wanted this before if she had the choice.. “Ja!” Helena moaned, slightly Germany like. Which resined Rachel immediately of the German clone, so she licked harder on the clit in a sort of punishment way, before leaving it to throb and finding the core. Helena's ties were tightening as she pulled on each of them, her legs wanting to wrap themselves around Rachel, to hold her in, to do something. One of Rachel's hand released her leg and trailed very slowly down from her knee to her core whilst her tongue went inside of her, dancing in a knowing waltz of pleasure. Fingers teased as they replaced tongue. 

Sarah grabbed her shit and tried to find the motel key. She tossed pillows to the floor and ripped the cover off of the double bed, even the sheets before coming up empty. She tried the first bedside table on her side, and then ran over to Helena's one, where she found an image. It was Helena and herself in a car, happy and smiling. Our second road trip, Sarah thought. She packed the image and went to the table still full of papers and images to search. After categorically filing them in her only brown paper file she had, she packed them too and found the key buried underneath. There was a noise?

“Helena?” Sarah asked out in to the now atmospheric motel room air. There was no reply and her hand slowly went for the gun still behind her back. Whatever or whomever caused the noise knew this and so stepped out from inside the en-suit bathroom. Paul. Sarah dropped her hold on the gun and she ran forward, her hands clasping around his strong body and his own, cautiously and a little off guard wrapped around hers. For a moment they just hugged. 

“Not Helena.” He stated, his hair was dyed back to blonde now, now all of the troubles had ended. 

“Where have you been man?” Sarah asked pulling up a seat from the table set and offering to him. He put up his hand to decline and instead sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Rachel and I have stopped our professional relationship together. I no longer work for her.” Paul smiled at Sarah, who did not return the look, instead she rested her head on her arm as a sense of concentration. 

“Hold up, since when did this happen? Since our last meeting?” 

“Rachel caught wind of the secret meetings we had during my time with her, she took me to Tailand again where she practically forced it out of me that we had been meeting up to discuss Cosima.”

“And...” Sarah egged on. 

“And, when I told her that we had gotten...close again, she suddenly threw this massive bitch fit and smashed up her hotel room quite a lot. But in some twisted Rachel way she let me go. Told me to 'Be with my whore' and then shot me in the leg.”

“Holy fuck, are you ok dude?!” Sarah said, coming towards him and putting her arm around his broad shoulders. 

“I'm fine. She knows that you want out, and that you are taking Helena and getting away from this, and you should know she wont let you go that easy. She will do anything to keep you close.”

“I think I know.” Sarah said, remembering how they kidnapped her daughter for bone marrow. 

“No you don't.” Paul stated with an air of sinister mystery. Sarah looked at his blue eyes, searching both of them for a meaning. Before she shook her head. 

“I really am to old for this shit.” Sarah joked, before remembering Kira was still down with Miss S in the other motel room. “I should really check on Kira.” Sarah got up and took a quick sweep the only thing she had lost was Helena. 

“I know where she might be...” Paul stated. 

Rachel wiped her mouth with a crisp white tissue that she had got from somewhere as Helena's hips arched for a third time, and her breathing was at its highest frequency. She crawled back up the bed and leaned over Helena's face tempted to cut the ties, before thinking not to and laying beside her. 

“Did you like that ,Helena?” Rachel asked, her voice as cool and collected as it was when they first met. Rachel's hand could help whilst Helena began to control herself and her restricted hips came back down, and so it traced lines on her moving stomach, lines of people. 

“I like.” Helena puffed out, and turned to Rachel. 

“Sestra?” Helena's tone had changed, asking innocently. 

“Yes, Helena?” 

“Why you do this to me?” Helena licked her lips and struggled under the ties, looking at the ceiling momentarily and then back down to Rachel's watching eyes. 

“Do you not like it?”

“I like!” Helena repeated. “But you are my Sestra...”

“Oh boo! You may be my genetic identical but we are two completely different people. Also why not fuck someone who is so hot.” Rachel admired the body that looked like her own in a twisted way she almost loved to look at herself, but not herself. 

“Ok.” Helena accepted, resisting her restrains. “Can I be untied? Please.” She added. Rachel sighed and moved her arms above her head and tried to untie her, but it was pulled too tight. She leant over and carefully picked up the scissors once more, before pushing the metal beneath the tie to her now hot pale skin. After she unclipped her lands Helena still laid there legs spread in her own juices as she rubbed her slightly red wrists. Her feet became free as she marvelled at Rachel's toned well looked after body. Rachel went to give Helena a back massage, but Helena grabbed her by the shoulders. “No.” She said in her thick accent, Rachel was shocked that someone had command her, and broke free from the clutch and looked to her back. Her eyes widened as she saw the scars, the deep cuts, new, old, fresh and closed up. Rachel stared in shock before finding it normal after a while. She grabbed her shoulders and just for a moment, only for a moment she released some empathy and sympathy and so pulled Helena in for a hug. Helena's own eyes widened and she accepted the hug, her mind warming to Rachel, but before she could even hug back Rachel had gotten off of the bed and into the en-suit. Helena didn't know whether to follow or not, she sort of attempted to get off of the bed, she found her pants and pulled them on, and realised she now had no bra. She yanked her white top over her wild blonde hair and it settled over her now perky breasts. Rachel stepped back into the door way, the shower steaming and load in the background. Rachel was completely naked for the first time, and Helena took a deep look, her pussy was trimmed in a way that she would only imagine a cold and calculating business woman would have it. Rachel motioned for Helena to follow her in with her finger and a smile. But Helena looked to the door with wild dog eyes. 

“I will be seeing you again, Helena. When the wolf howls.” Rachel said, before closing the door, locking it and stepping into the shower. 

“Crazy lady.” Helena whispered, getting her denim jeans and shoes on before unlocking the door. Outside she met Sarah's cold frowning face first, and then Paul's. Helena freaked out, she went back into the room and locked the door. Frantically looking around the room, pinning her back to the door. Before opening it again only slightly, Paul had now stepped to the side, and she peered around it to see Sarah. 

“What are you doing?” Sarah asked, her tone was 

“Sestra, are we leaving?” Helena asked, as Sarah's hand placed itself on the door. Helena knew she was stronger anyway. Helena wondered how much Sarah knew about why Helena was in here. 

“Yes, we are. Now stop fannying about and come on.” Helena opened the door and stepped out, careful not to let them see in. She remember Paul stood there and hissed at him, and went to spit before Sarah pulled her backwards towards Kira's room on the next row. “Helena he is cool now ok? He is fine. Paul is fine. Trust me, I'll explain later, now we have to get Kira.” 

“Kira.” Helena repeated and smiled in Sarah's arms. She looked curiously at the difference between Sarah and Rachel. They were subtle, but once you knew they were completely different. Helena had learnt anyway that they were not totally genetically identical. Except Sarah and herself; twins. 

“Yes Kira, now have you got everything, we are getting Kira and Ms. S and leaving, got it?” Helena nodded. “What were you doing in there?” Sarah asked last minute. Helena broke free of Sarah's hold and smiled, walking toward the room Kira was in. Sarah looked to Paul who shrugged, who knows what kind of psycho bitch shit Rachel would do. Although he deliberately left out that Rachel was also here at the motel. Sarah charged off towards Helena followed by Paul. The next room on their row was on the next balcony, so they all went down the stairs. Helena's hands exploratively held onto the banister, jumping around like a person running all the way along it. Sarah was self conscious in her tie dye and so pulled it closer around her, her arms attempting to cover it. Paul strode elegantly behind them watching across the car park to the newer cars, and then back to the new set of stairs. Helena went to climb them like an animal, before standing up straight, acting as if she were a top end business woman, she held onto the banister with tight hands, and lifted her legs up carefully. Sarah watched this, and just clambered up the stairs as if she owned them. Paul laughed slightly at the difference, he knew what Helena was trying to do. Once they reached the doors, Helena went straight to it, for the handle opening it. 

“Get the hell away from the door!” An Irish Londonish accent shouted in warning towards her, the door slammed shut against Helena once it was open slightly. Sarah took Helena's shoulder and pulled her back. 

“Meat head! You can't just walk in we have a secret knock.” Sarah insulted. Helena scowled at her. 

“Don't call me this.” Helena pointed her finger at Sarah, before being interrupted by the door opening. 

“Sarah?!” Ms S called out, a smiling Kira at her knees. Sarah took Kira into her arms and lifted her up hugging her so tightly. 

“Even a night away feels like a bloody eternity.” Sarah said, kissing Kira hard on the fore head. Kira looked to Paul first before Ms S had seen him. Siobhan followed Kira's eyes and peered out of the door. 

“You've got bloody nerve showing your face here! What the hell is going on. Sarah take Kira inside.” Siobhan leant back to get something, a weapon maybe. Sarah held Kira in her right arm and put out her hand to stop Ms S. 

“I'll explain ok!” Sarah warned and looked to Paul, who stood there in his dark jeans, black jacket and perfect blonde hair. He smiled at Siobhan but she only glared back. Helena leaned against the door frame, her hands playing with the hinges as her eyes were fixed on their metallic rust. Her fingers pulled at the rust and it grated between them to dust on the floor. She smiled at looked from Paul, to Sarah, Kira to Siobhan; 

“Sestra has a secret.” She joked with a laugh. Siobhan was furious, after what Paul had done. Sleeping with Rachel, running off to Thailand and betraying her! What nerve the boy must have, she thought. 

Sarah and Kira sat at the table and chairs, Siobhan took the other seat, whilst Helena laid on the bed in her jeans and top thinking about what had just happened with Rachel. She closed her eyes and writhed on the bed, everyone ignored her behaviour but Paul knew. He kept quite. Paul stood by the door his hands behind his back. 

“Start from the massive betrayal.” Siobhan said in a nonchalant way, sipping her motel complimentary tea that she had put into a thermal flask. She smiled to Sarah, who looked to Paul and then back again. 

“Ok, so after we stopped Helena shooting Rachel, Paul messaged me, wanting to talk he didn't say much-”

“Rachel was watching my calls and texts. I couldn't explain much.” Paul added in, Siobhan shot him a friendly look, a look that was so friendly it was murderous. 

“For some reason we met up, in a bar by the Cold River church. He told me that Rachel was-”

“Rachel was becoming an issue. She needed to be brought down. So I resigned.”

“Oh I believe that laddy!” Siobhan mocked, sipping her tea and looking in a joking disbelief at Sarah, who hugged Kira some more and gave her a pleading look. 

“It obviously wasn't as easy as that, but that is the jist ok.” Sarah excused. 

“Yeah.” Ms S states. 

“I have been gathering Intel from Rachel and Dr Leiki about Cosima, their treatment for her is improving. But Sarah told me something that meant I couldn't keep corresponding the way we had been.” Paul, edged a little forward once he felt they had relaxed with him a little bit more. 

“And what might that be?” Ms S asked Sarah, making it obvious she was looking at Kira. 

“I've decided to cut away from this clone shit. Cal and I, we had a good thing going. I just...I want a break from all of this, to go back to the ignorance that I had before. Kira and I are leaving.” At Cal's name Paul moved his eyes uneasily, Siobhan noticed and ignored it. Helena had now completely run through her confusing encounter with Rachel in her head and stared at the ceiling. 

“Tiny problem.” Helena said loudly to everyone but she still focused on the ceiling. Sarah, Siobhan, Kira and Paul looked to her. Paul's eyes stared at her face, trying to plead her not to say a word. She didn't notice this and pulled her head up to see everyone. Helena looked to Paul, smiling at his stern expression, Ms S noticed this and looked to Sarah. Helena lifted her hands up into the air above her and traced the bumps in the patterned wall papered ceiling with her fingers. 

“Yes?” Sarah egged on, wanting Helena to get to the point. Helena laughed slightly. 

“No food.” Helena stated. Even though he had tried to kill Rachel a month or two back, even though Rachel had threatened the life of her twin sestra, she felt a connection to her. Helena sat up as Siobhan chucked a packet of crisps to her lap. She snapped her hands to the bag and ripped it open eagerly shoving them into her mouth. Once she had tasted a few she slowed down, taking them one by one and licking it straight up and taking the flavour in her mouth. Paul stood a little uneasily. 

“So what, it's happy days now. How do we know we can even trust you Paul, I mean you haven't exactly got a clean track record.” Ms S sipped her tea and turned in her seat to sit next to her. 

“Look ok, right now this is a need to know basis-” Sarah started. 

“Need to know?! I need to know, I am only interested in the safety of Kira and if that will be-”

“Kira will be fine!” She shouts, realising Kira is sat there with her hands over her ears. “I'm sorry monkey...” Sarah looks up to Siobhan, and they give each other the nod. 

“What's our next move.” Paul said in a softer voice as Kira let her hands go down around Sarah's arm. Sarah looked to him. 

“I'll take Kira down to Cal and we'll head west to the boarder. We can meet by video link every few days to check up. But this can't be a long term thing Paul, I don't want this to take over my life like it already has.” Paul nodded. Helena finished the bag of crisps and wiped the crumbs from around her mouth and t-shirt. It was then that Paul noticed she did not have a bra on, but had one when she left the motel room. Sarah may have noticed but he was not sure. Either way she wouldn't know exactly why. 

“Sestra?” Helena asked to Sarah who had given Kira to Ms S to help pack her things. 

“Yeah Helena?” 

“Where I go?” Helena asked, the room was silent.


	2. DYAD institute

Part 2: 

“Beth can you look at me please, these meetings will just keep going on and on if you don't talk.” Dr. Leekie tapped his pen on top of the note pad on his lap. Florescent white lights illuminated the small white room from the electric source on the ceiling. I rolled my head on my neck and slapped my knees with my palms. 

“I told you I'm not Beth!” I said. I am Sarah. Why would no one listen to me. I went to get up, but he did not, motioning his hands and his eyes for me to sit back down. It was useless, not matter how much I tried it would just not work. 

“Beth, you are Beth. You've been through a lot, but you have also been here for 3 months now. Surely by now you should want to open up?” Dr. Leekie sat back down as I did and recrossed his legs in his loose straight leg black trousers. He adjusted his white shirt and loosened his tie slightly. My eyes rolled in my head this time, and I clenched my fists. A sigh escaped my mouth and I stopped tensing up. 

“Look I didn't kill Maggie Chan.”My British accent came through, they thought I had adopted this to make them believe my story. I was from Brixton, I wasn't lying, how could I keep this up for 3 months, surely if I was lying my story would have changed. Fucking asylum freaks. 

Dr. Leekie sighed and held the bridge of his nose between his two fingers. Closing his eyes as he spoke. 

“Beth. There was CCTV evidence that you were at the scene in that alley, you shot her and placed a phone in her hand to cover up your tracks. There is finite proof, Beth.” Dr. Leekie opened his eyes to watch my reaction, his pencil poised to document my words. I said nothing. This was getting so old and it was feeling like they would never believe me. It was unbelievable, a girl shows up out of no where after 28 years of nothing and meets her long lost twin sister. Shortly after Beth kills herself and they think I am Beth. Thinking about it like that...I could see why they thought Beth was loco, but it wasn't Beth, it is me! 

“Do I really need to tell you what really happened there again?” I said, this time I closed my eyes and laid my head back on the top of the leather sofa against the white stone wall. I could hear Leekie writing notes on the pad and breathing deeply. His breathing pissed me off. Why did he have to do it so loudly, always in unpredictable rhythms not one after the other. There could be a pause, a deep breath, short breaths, no breaths! It was awful to listen to. “I didn't kill Maggie Chan, It was Beth!” I couldn't help but tense up again. 

“Video evidence Beth! Everything that day puts you at that scene, your partner Art saw you kill Maggie Chan and cover up your tracks! He testified Beth. You think that your partner of 6 years who has a constant track record of outstanding service and truthful conduct would lie to the board of directors! You killed a civilian in the line of duty.” Dr. Leekie was getting heated now, he always did each and every time we had these meetings. He suddenly changed his tone. “I am sorry, I know this does not seem helpful, but we just need to know why. You are here because you are not even fit enough to stand trial for your crime. Life sentences Beth are not light work. But I understand your frustration we don't believe your story. But can you blame us Beth? Can you blame the hospital staff for not believe this elaborate concoction?” 

“Our time is up now, I am leaving.” I said, I didn't need this bullshit any longer. 

“We have 5 minutes left and we haven't even discussed your short story yet. Please sit back down, I really liked your story.” Dr. Leekie caught my attention back, and so I leaned against the door instead of the sofa. He pulled out my short story from inside his note pad and let me take it from him. The crisp white paper felt foreign in between my fingers, and I read the words in my head; '“Sestra?” Helena stared glaze eyed at the fish tank, her fingers gently tapping the glass....' 

“Who is Helena?” Dr. Leekie asked. I stared at the words that even I didn't recognise as something I wrote, but I did write it. 

“I don't know, just a character.” I said, looking at Dr. Leekie, who was writing on his pad instead of watching. 

“But 'who' is she, another twin?” 

“In this story she is a clone. They are all sort of clones, I don't even know. Clones made somehow-I'm no scientist- and end up at this motel.” Dr. Leekie paused his writing for some reason, just staring at the pad, thinking about something. 

“A clone?” 

“Yeah I guess. It's just a stupid story. It's not real.” I justified, trying to hand the papers back, but he didn't take them so I just held them under my now crossed arms. 

“I want you to look a few pages down, at the first mentions of the little girl, Kira. Who is she?” This took me a back slightly, Kira was my daughter. 

“My daughter!” I said, breathing out suddenly, outraged that they still wouldn't believe something like this. But how could they ever test, Kira was with Miss S and they would have no idea who she was. She lived under the radar, and had since we came here. 

“In the story you mean, Beth?” Dr. Leekie was writing still, not looking up. This was not going to take 5 minutes, so I sat back down on the sofa. 

“In real life! I have a daughter called Kira who is now...” I counted the months since I had last seen her. “8 years old.” 

“Beth, this is totally irrational, you are infertile.” He said this is an overtly safe and soft way, as if breaking the news again. But I knew I wasn't infertile I had a daughter, even though I wasn't that much of a mother to her..

“Well sorry to break the news again, and again..but I am not Beth, and I do have a daughter.” 

“Why do you have so many characters who all look the same. They all have their own lives and not to mention the...activities two of the 'clones' got up two. Do you think this reflects your personality in any way?” Dr. Leekie now looked up and stopped writing. 

“I don't know doc, you tell me?” I said, crossing my arms again, and dropping my story to the sofa side. He straightened up his note pad and closed it, staring me direct in the eyes. Briefly he looked to his watch and smiled. 

“That's all today thank you Beth. I would like to see you again tomorrow. Please make sure you write another one of your stories ok. Same time tomorrow.” Dr. Leekie said but I was already half out of the door, before I could even breathe two orderlies had me by my arms and practically dragged me back to my room, even though I could walk. My eyes watched the floor underneath me zoom behind, the fake stone linoleum with its horrible fake stones was a daily sight in my eyes these days. It had been for 3 months. At 30 meter intervals the hospitals logo would illuminate as a feature of the walls. 'The DYAD institute for the criminally insane.' A hospital fully funded by some shady cooperation which was always in my stories. 

Before Beth had died she had told me something. But for the 3 months what she said was becoming less and less memorable. As they opened my door with a giant rack of keys I obediently walked inside, hearing the slam behind me. My room was only 10 feet by 10 feet with a small single bed with straps at the sides, although never used. A small high window with thin bars not even big enough to squeeze a hand through to open. There was a metal toilet beside the door for 'privacy' although there was a CCTV camera flashing its red light in two corners of the room, constantly watching every millimetre of the room. I sat myself down on the bed and just stared at the wall trying to figure out what Beth had said. Whatever Beth had said, it was so important she needed to tell me before she jumped in front of a train. I slapped my forehead hard with my palm. Why did I have to pick that stupid handbag up and go to her house. Why did I have to go to the fucking police department, what was a stupid stupid girl from fucking Brixton doing all the way here.


	3. Suburbi-hell

Part 3: Sarah Manning entry 002, 8th January 2013

Alison Hendrix sharply pulled out her whistle from her pocket in her bright pink puffer body warmer. Young kids all around her running as she blew to signal the end of soccer practice. She scurried over to the benches and picked up the tupper ware box of orange slices. 

“Now you only get two or three each.” She slapped the hand of a boy who picked up two in each hand, and smiled wide at him, and then to his mom. She put the lid under the box and laughed kindly as they all took their pieces and sat at the bench. A woman's hand touched her shoulder and Alison turned with a jump. “Oh Anna-lee hi.” Alison smiled at the lady next to her with blonde shiny hair which flowed over her shoulder and a little too much make up for a suburban housewife to wear. But it was Alison's best friend and so she had to pretend to like it. 

“Hi Alison are you still ok for us to come over for the kids party tonight?” Anna-lee said, crossing her arms and standing a little too close to Alison. Who smiled, again, and turned to her sealing the box with a thump of her fist to push out all of the air. 

“Yes of course, we agreed 4PM right. A few hours after practice?” Alison said, checking her organisation. Anna-lee stopped crossing her arms and checked her watch grinning. 

“That's right. Only 2 hours as it's 2PM now.” Anna-lee said a little something in the way she said it. Alison stared at her expression and noticed the something there, but chose to ignore it and smiled again. 

“That's absolutely fine.” Alison said, putting the box down on the bench as the other coach blew the whistle for the second half of the kids game. As it did she jumped again and adjusted her fringe and pushed some hair behind her ear. Alison shimmied around the bench as all the kids were laughing and shouting in their childish ways. Her walk excellently poised in her new black yoga pants. She finally got passed all of the soccer mom's and power walked over to the equipment shed. The door needed a little push to open so she used her shoulder,, she looked around to make sure no one had seen this. A few heads had turned but none lingered so she smiled at no one and closed the door. Inside were a few oranges that didn't quite look like the rest so were left on the table. Also inside was a small juice flask filled with straight vodka that she grabbed as her first act and gulped down her throat. The burning liquid seared her throat, but the more she drank the less the reaction. “Two hours. I haven't even got food, where are my decorations.” She looked outside to the group of people. “Where the hell is Donnie?!” she finished. Quickly her fingers sealed the flask and she hid it behind some equipment on a steel shelf rack. Her feet in the latest power walking technology trainers pounced out of the shed and scurried around the side to look for him. When she did she stopped dead in her tracks. A woman who looked just like her was stood there in black tatty clothing and too much eye liner. Turning, she ran back around the shed building and into it finding the vodka and taking another gulp. The woman found a door nearer her on the back of the shed and came in that way. 

“No no, this is my neighbourhood you do not do this!” Alison was visible shaking and her eyes were wide, the woman could see the struggle to keep her form, her face had to be smiling and she had to look pleasant. But this as gone with a deep struggle to keep it and replaced with suburban anger, which was the scariest kind. 

“Hey! I'm not ere' to take your neighbourhood! I'm Sarah. We are obviously sisters or something--” 

“Ha!” Alison laughed, leaning against the tables with deformed orange slices, her arms crossed over her with one supporting her petite chin. “I am not having this talk, this is not happening!” Alison said, picking up a knife from the table with orange slices and holding it mindlessly in her hands. Sarah tensed up and stepped back a little bit, ready to get the hell out of the way if that knife came anywhere near her. Sarah put her hands up. 

“Where is Beth?” Alison said, but there was a heavy edge of threat in it. 

“Wow, calm down!” Alison walked towards the door and faced the wall thinking to herself, the knife poised aimlessly in the air, her hand holding it for some sort of twisted comfort. “Beth's dead, she killed herself on a train platform...” Sarah panted, her hands going to her hair as a comfort. “Who are you to me?” Sarah asked, staring at the back of Alison's perfectly sculpted hair which was pulled back into a neat pony tail. She did look like a spitting suburban image of Sarah, just with lots of pinks and pastels were Sarah wore leather blacks and greys. Sarah was definitely hotter. 

“That's not Beth, she wouldn't do that! She is not stupid...This changed everything” Alison tried to piece this together in her head. “You really have no idea do you?” Alison asked, turning around and watching the woman to her opposite. “Nope. Not today! I have a children's party for gods sake! Leave now, go, come on, out.” Alison still wielding the knife in her seemingly weak wrists ushered Sarah out of the shed, but Sarah just backed up against the door. 

“What the hell is going on?” Sarah called out, Alison quickly threw her hand onto Sarah's mouth, stopping her from making a sound. She got up close to Sarah's face, their identical noses almost touching. 

“You do not just strut your trampy ass into my children's soccer practice. You do not show your face to anyone, especially my kids. You leave now, and wait for a call. Now, do you have the phone?” Alison said, Sarah didn't struggle, she wanted information. At the end of these instructions she was again made aware of the phone in her jacket pocket with the bright pink case on it. Sarah nodded. Alison released her mouth, but did not step back. “Go.” Alison reiterated with her eyes widening and her hands shooing her out of the room. She stepped back and leant back again on the orange table, placing the knife down on the top and sighing heavily as Sarah walked out of the shed through the back. As soon as she was sure Sarah was gone, she pulled out her own pink phone and frantically searched for a number. Once it was found she pounded the call button with her delicate and nimble finger. 

“There's another one.” Alison said with a tone of urgency in her voice. Her hand not knowing what to do with itself as she stood there holding the phone. The free hand shook itself in worry as she spoke to emphasize the words to herself. 

“What, are you serious?” A voice returned, a west coast edge to her accent.

“Yes, she looked just like us! How could I mistake a clone! She came to my children's soccer practice! This needs to stop.”

“Ok ok, calm down. Does she have Beth's phone?” 

“Beth's dead.” Alison said simply, letting it sink in on the other end. “So naturally this new clone stole her phone!” 

“Crap! This is big. Urr, ok I'll come over tonight, can you get a sitter?” 

“I have a children's party. Maybe if they all leave we can say...” Alison quickly looked to her watch. “8 o'clock. They should all be gone by then.” 

“Make it half 8 and I'll be there. Have fun, we'll talk through this, don't stress.” The voice on the other end cut out with a tone. Alison slammed the phone into her pocket, her eyes looking towards the vodka stashed in the frame again..but she stopped herself taking the temptation. 4PM party, over by half 6, super at 7 and bed by 8, Alison planned the schedule for the kid's nights to distract her as she walked out of the shed, back to practice. 

Sarah unlocked Beth's car and clambered in, trying not to show her face with her black hood. Quickly she reversed out of her spot and sped down through the parking lot and out of the rec's ground. What the hell is going on, Sarah thought. She pulled her phone out of her pocket whilst her hand steered. Her thumb knowingly tapped out Felix's number and pushed it to loud speaker. As she turned with both hands around a corner going a little higher than what she probably should have on these suburban roads. 

“Sarah, where are you? I've been going bloody mental waiting for you to get back!” Felix's voice rang through camp panic shone through and she could visualise his face, full with worry whilst soaked in make up. Probably with one of his men laying in the bed naked next to him. 

“Fe, I have no idea what's going on, but I have found another one, one of my sisters or whatever.”

“That's amazing!” Felix shouted down the phone. Sarah stopped at the lights entering the city. 

“No, she's a total psycho, suburban soccer mom. 

“Oh god, I am breaking out in spots just thinking about that retched place. Suburbia or Suburgatory.” Felix joked, Sarah smiled a little bit as she put the car into drive and pulled away. 

“I don't know. But I just need to know Fe, this could be my story.” Sarah watched the road ahead with a dim expression. 

“Every foster kid want's a story.” He said, a air of understanding in his voice this time. He started laughing suddenly and breathing heavily, mumbling something about some one getting off. “Look sis, I have to go. Business to attend to. If you need anything call me ok.” Sarah hung up the phone putting it carelessly in the parting box between the drivers and passengers seat. Both hands gripped the wheel as she drove.

As Sarah pulled up at Beth's house she parked the car in it's spot, getting out and locking it. It was raining very slightly and she felt it cold on her face and the smell of wet concrete reminded her of her childhood somehow. She fumbled in her pockets for the keys, finding the one that fit the door under the cover of the porch roof. When she found it, she pulled the handle and walked in, carelessly shutting it behind her and pulling down her hood. Sarah walked straight to the kitchen for something to eat or drink. She found cereal and a unopened bottle of wine. A poor mix, but what's the risk? Her hands grabbed a bowl out of the over head cupboards which opened upwards, and a spoon out of the draw that only needed a touch to open. The cereal crashed into the bowl, followed by lashings of milk soaking straight into the floating pieces. One spoonful went into her mouth straight away, the spoon stayed there as she corked the bottle and let it air for a second. Where had she got that habit from? Too long pretending to be her high end twin...or triplet? Either way the bottle poured itself into the glass and she soon replaced the spoon in her mouth with the rim of the glass, sipping it's velvet red contents. She coughed a little at the mix as she adjusted her seat on the black leather stool. In her hand she flicked on the TV and found little single on the cable- affected by the rain-- so she settled for news. 

'Girl who committed suicide earlier this week has been identified as Sarah Manning, New York resident who went missing over 10 months ago. Authorities are saying that the--” Sarah turned the TV off again as the woman's voice attempted to penetrate her mind. She shook her head. The cereal spooning into her mouth replaced by red wine, the cycle repeating until the contents of the bowl was gone. Her fingers tapped on the white surface top and she looked around Beth's house one more time, taking in the small living room with its creamy sofa's flat screen TV and modern look attire. From where she sat she could see the bedroom where she had slept last night. Sarah stared at the bed sheets as she thought about the things she had learned today. She had another sister, called Alison. Alison was her dramatic opposite, suburban soccer mom. Beth knew about her, Beth was now dead. All Sarah had was an address to Soccer mom house and a pink phone. 

As she though about the phone it vibrated in her pocket and the ring tone alerted her. She cleaned her mouth with her tongue and pulled it out, seeing a number on the screen. She answered it and held it between her ear and shoulder as she put her bowl and spoon in the dishwasher. 

“Yeah?” Sarah said. Struggling to do both tasks at once, she took some of the wine in her mouth. 

“You have Alison's address? Come to her house at 8:30PM tonight.” A west coast voice sounded into Sarah's ear. 

“Who's this?” Sarah said, mentally noting that she had to drive there, and spat the wine into the sink so she could drive. Red poured out of her mouth like blood, she turned the tap and a jet of bubbly water poured out washing it away in a spiral down the sink. 

“My name is Cosima. See you there, Sarah.” Cosima said, ending the call, her voice replaced by a dead tone. Sarah hung up the phone and placed it back on the surface. She bit her lip. Getting up, she quickly washed her glass out and put it back in the overhead cupboard, walking to the bedroom, unzipping her jacket and chucking it to the floor. A reminder of Beth's boyfriend Paul's existence shot in her face as she noticed the flight details and stick note on the wall telling Beth he would be back on Saturday. A few days yet. Next her boots flipped off and lined the hall way before entering Beth's bedroom. Rashly she pulled off her top and it too fell to the plush carpet floor. As Sarah made her way to the bathroom her jeans dropped off too and she walked in her underwear to the showers edge, turning it on and waiting for it to get hot. Her eyes caught her own as she looked at herself in the vanity mirror lined with modern lights. Her heavily eye lined eyes watched her back as she unclipped her bra, and took off her pants, making sure she had a towel and stepping into the shower. 

“Donnie, get your shit together, we have 20 kids out there who want food and drink. I only see 5 cups here Donnie, where are the other 15?!” Alison asked as she slammed an empty tray filled with crumbs on the kitchen side. None of the guests were in the kitchen yet, so it was just her and her husband. Donnie cowered in the corner and frantically searched through cupboards and shelves in search of where he put the rest of the red cups. Alison watched his efforts tapping her polished foot whilst she leant on the surface side. He turned to look at her, defeat in his eyes as well as a horrible mix of terror. Alison's temper flared and so did her nostrils but she managed to restrain herself and breath deeply. 

“Donnie, please go to the store and get 30 cups, and napkins. We have no napkins.” Alison ordered in a sweet tone that made him feel as if he was doing her a nice favour when in reality he had been given an order to fulfil. Alison turned in her step, shaking the crumbs from the tray into the bin and replacing them with sausage rolls and other bake-able finger foods. As she closed the oven door, she turned around to find Anna-lee standing there watching her with a great smile on her face. 

“I just saw Donnie running out of the back door, everything ok?” Anna-lee asked, as Alison stood back up from the over door and took off the oven gloves. Alison smiled back at her and tilted her head, watching her beautiful blonde friend look back. 

“We have everything under control, he is just getting some extra cups and napkins.” Alison excused, moving around her to the other side of the kitchen's surface island, chopping some carrots and cucumbers into finger sized slices. 

“I noticed there were no napkins.” Anna-lee said in a polite and friendly tone, but it hit Alison hard in the heart. She did not show this and instead looked up smiling once more with an edge of 'get the f out of my house before I cut you'. Ann-lee chose to ignore this and held the edge of the counter top. 

“You know, it was short notice, if you need help we can all--” Anna-lee started. 

“No, it's all ok. Every thing's fine. If only there were more of me! Ha!” Alison said, looking to her chopped foods and carefully sliding them into a serving dish from the board. She laughed slightly at her own joke. Picking the dish up she walked back around Anna-lee and through the kitchen arch to the living room. There she served the chopped foods to the hungry kids on their coffee table. Smiling politely and waving hello to new guests she did not even know, but lived in the neighbourhood. Anna-lee chewed her cheeks and huffed but followed her out anyway, greeting some more people for Alison. Alison walked up beside her and back into the kitchen to check her watch. 5PM she thought to herself, only an hour left. She leant back against the counter, all she could think about was this new girl, but more importantly Beth's death. A sigh escaped her parted lips and she pushed herself forward, breathing and smiling, getting her edge back with a quick secret swig of the flask from her kitchen draw. Placing back she wiped her mouth adjusted her hair and went back into the living room. 

“Who's ready for twister?!” She called out, kids around her laughing and happily cheering. 

 

Sarah rapped her hair up back in the towel and pulled her new underwear on. Well, Beth's. Her, again Beth's bra clipped into place and she walked back out of the bathroom, the mirror and tiled walls steamed up. Outside she went to the double wardrobe, finding Paul's clothes resembling a suit shop and Beth's resembling a line of business wear, mixed in with running and sport gear. Sarah flicked between clothes, her own in the wash, finding a cool grey wool look dress and a golden necklace and bracelet set. As she set these down on the bed ready to put on she realised what image she would be putting on. Wearing Beth's clothes, her dead sisters clothes. She walked to her jacket on the floor in the kitchen, bending down to search the pockets for her phone. It was not there, she then remembered it was on the counter top and got back up. As she did there was a clicking from the front door. Shit shit shit! Sarah thought, stood there in Beth's underwear in the kitchen. Hurriedly she ran around the island and faced the door, composing her face. Ready to spring Beth into character or fight. A tall strong looking man with short cut blonde brown hair, wearing a tailors dark suit and white shirt walked in, locking the door behind him. Sarah, playing Beth looked up her hands flat on the surface, smiling to the man walking in. She recognised him as Paul from the magnetic pictures on the fridge. 

“Paul. I thought you weren't coming back until the weekend?” Sarah said, a little rusty on her accent but trying. Paul dropped his bags on the sofa and un did his suit buttons. 

“Beth. I came home early.” He said coolly, but a deceiving smile on his face. “Why are you in your underwear.” Sarah thought it would be obvious that she had just got out of the shower with her wet hair, but why clothes that weren't hers were on the floor and why she was stood in the kitchen in her underwear were questions she just couldn't truthfully answer. 

“I just got out of the shower.” She said, running her hands through her hair for comfort. Paul watched her cautiously, coming closer to her. With every step he took forward, she took one backwards. He put his arms out slightly but back again, he stopped walking, but still watching. 

“You seem different.” He said, Sarah looked around for a distraction, opening an over head cupboard to look like she was doing something. There were only glasses, so she grabbed one out of it and walked to the sink, lifting the tap and letting the bubbly water pour into her glass. The tap stopped. Sarah put the drink to her lips and sipped on it. 

“Do I?” She asked, swallowing and avoiding his eyes. She walked around the island to the living room, flipping on the TV and quickly turning over from the news. A programme came onto BBC America and so she let it play, sitting down on the furthest edge of the sofa from Paul next to his bags. Paul walked over to her, behind her on the sofa, he tentatively touched her shoulders as she took some more water. Half to wash out the alcohol she had consumed and half to give herself something to do. She let his strong big hands massage her shoulders, a little into the way he makes her feel and the stress release. 

“You're tense. How is the case going?” Paul asked, pinching Sarah's shoulders. 

“Urr.” Sarah started, baffled. Maggie Chan 42 yr old Asian woman, shot dead by Beth in defence. Beth said something about still trying to gather evidence for the case. “Yeah, um the case is reconvening in two days as they need more evidence as there is no CCTV to prove urr me innocent.” Sarah babbled out in the best Beth accent she could muster. She loved the way his hands made her feel but it was Beth's boyfriend, it was sick to pretend to be him. But who could she pretend to be? A foster kid drifter wonders into New York, suddenly finds her self in the clutches of a family she never knew she had, pretending to be her sister to find out more. Sarah sipped some more of her water and got up, brushing his hands off of her by rolling her shoulders. He watched her move from the living room to the bedroom and wait for a minute. Sarah closed the door behind her and sat on the bed. 

“Sarah?” Paul called out, not having left the living room. Sarah breathed heavy and tried to find a plainish top to wear to cover herself up. She had no clothes that she could wear that wouldn't insult her sisters and none that would live the lie with Paul. She resulted to wearing her 'the clash' tee that she stuffed in her bag yesterday and wasn't in the wash. She couldn't find anything to wear on her legs so she suffered the top and her pants. Paul slowly opened the bedroom door and walked himself in closing it softly behind him. 

“Why are you dressed like a punk rock hoe.” He asked, serious with his insult. 

“Hey!” Sarah came back, before realising who she was pretending to be. “London calling..” She excused. 

“You don't like that music?” 

“Yeah I do. It's new.” She quickly said. He came over to her and stood in front of her legs on the bed. 

“Are you taking your medicine still?” He asked plainly. How would she answer! If she said yes then it could be the 'wrong' kind of medicine and so she would get in shit, and if she said no and it was 'medicine' then she would get in more shit. 

“You're damn right..” Sarah said, imitating a phrase Beth had said once when they met. Paul looked at her, he squinted his eyes, then relaxed. 

“You're acting weird.” Paul said, moving forward slightly. Sarah leant backwards on her arms against the bed, not intentionally inviting him in. Paul leant onto her, and put his lips near her mouth. Sarah froze. He breathed on her just for a second, looking over her body for a sign. She watched his eyes. It was not enough. Sarah smacked their lips together in a passionate kiss and her arms came up to grab his head. Paul supported her and laid her on the bed. 

 

“Thank you all for coming!” Alison shouted to the last guest family to leave her door. Anna-lee hanged about behind her as usual, waving too. “Finally.” She said in a sarcastic tone, although she meant all of it. Donnie did eventually come back with the cups so the evening wasn't totally ruined. Alison went to close the door, but turned to Anna-lee instead. 

“Don't you have to get off?” Alison hinted. Anna-lee looked at her for a second then acted as if what she had said only just registered. With a jump and a small giggle she said; 

“Oh yes, sure. See you at the soccer match this week!” Anna-lee stepped out of the door, but started to turn to say something. But Alison slammed the door shut as if she hadn't seen. 

“Donnie!” She called out, walking down the stairs to the basement room. In the basement room she had a sofa set a TV and a craft room, where she spent most of her time. This was also where she hid her booze when there were people over, except that one flask in the empty kitchen draw. Donnie came bumbling down the stairs and in the entrance of the crafts room. His messy short hair sculpted his rounded gormless face and that led to his too short neck and his rounded almost beer belly like stomach. 

“Yes honey?” Donnie answered. 

“I am making meatloaf for dinner, can you get it out of the freezer, I put it in yesterday evening. I'm trying to make some new costumes for the acting society.” Alison smiled her sweet smile and Donnie nodded smiling slightly before going to work on his task just set. As soon as she heard the basement doors to the outside click shut she searched through the cupboards for her travel bottles of vodka. She only found one and gulped it down before she could even think about it twice. Carefully she wrapped it in tissue paper and put it in the bin by the craft table. Wiping her mouth she sat on the chair and got out various fabrics with a list of sizes and templates. 

 

Sarah breathed heavily as she sat up stark naked on top of Paul, her mouth wet from kissing him. She could feel him inside of her and stared into his eyes as she rose up and down in a rhythm. Just a few more minutes, Sarah thought to herself, she could already feel the build up in Paul as his head tilted back, his hands gripping her hips hard. Sarah looked to the ceiling, her hands on his hard abs as she rode him harder. She could hear the change in his breath, he loved it, so she sat back up using her knees to lift her, his hands gripping harder. Rising harder. Gripping harder. Just as he was about to climax he let go of her hips and put his hands over his eyes in a relaxed and fulfilled sort of way. Sarah felt him let go, and crawled off of him and down to beside him. She felt his arms wrap around him in a sort of cuddle as he tried to get the condom back off and into the bedroom bin. As he did this Sarah went to get up, she regretted what she did as she had only just showered, but she needed to distract him. Even though she just had, she showered again and grabbed her things just to pass time. When she came back out of the shower Paul was there in the bedroom naked and staring at her. As she came out in fresh underwear he grabbed her around the waist and brought her in for a backwards hug. 

“What was that?” He asked, breathing in her freshly washed hair. 

“Not now Paul.” Sarah said, acting cold was what she knew of Beth. He smiled in to the back of her head anyway as she pulled away and grabbed her clothes out of the wash, which were washed and dried by now. Out of the machine she grabbed some camouflage style jeans, and a black band t-shirt. Grabbing her shit and leaving for the car. It beeped unlocked and she pulled herself in, put the car in drive and sped off with a little wheel spin. Paul watched suspiciously from the window, only his perfectly sculpted chest could bee seen though. Sarah waved him off, and forgot what she had just done. It was great. Hot even. Beth had it good even though if he was my boyfriend I would have jumped in front of that train I would have killed myself too, Sarah thought to herself as he left the city, heading for suburbia.

“Fancy a trip to see my sisters?” Sarah said down the phone whilst she drove. Felix didn't even need to think and agreed immediately. Sarah knew where he would be, Felix was a rent boy, and his main haunt was a loft apartment just on the outskirts of the city. Sarah picked him up and kept driving. 

“So who are these relatives of yours?” Felix asked, sat with his seatbelt off, and legs on the dashboard. Sarah looked from his feet to his eyes then back to the road. 

“I have no idea. They just look like me--”

“Freakishly like you. Elizabeth Childs, who may I remind you, you are pretending to be is like your double!” 

“I know. Can you have twins which are like 4 or something, so like quadruplets?” Sarah turned off the main road and hit the outside of the fresh valley suburb. 

“Probably, what with all this IVF and sciency magic I suppose you could have like a thousand children and not even feel it.” Felix moved his legs from the dashboard and sat up to attention. “Oh. My. God. This is suburbi-hell. Who would live here. Mrs Vandikamp with her perfect garden and perfect life. Oh Sarah don't forget to put your new hybrid electric car in your off road garage where you keep your family camping gear and DIY tools. What would the neighbours think!” Felix joked, Sarah hit his arm with her fist and laughed too. 

“Just be cool, Fe. I don't want to scare them off.” Her hands gripped harder on the wheel and she let out a deep breath. “This could be my story.” She repeated something Felix had earlier that for some reason resonated with her the whole way home from this place the first time. “Which ones 35?” Sarah asked driving slowly past a row of houses checking the numbers, Felix jumped up and pointed his nimble finger in black designer fingerless gloves on the window. Sarah pulled up on the road way, which she thought was way too wide to be a road. In New York you barely had room to move a car let alone park a car in her area of town. The engine still ran and the lights were still on as she pushed the car into park and looked to Felix. “This could be it.” She said, looking to Felix who leaned closer. 

“Oh come here.” He said, putting his arms around her, holding her tight against his thin but polished body. Sarah pushed her head into his neck and just sat there for a second. 

“You are the best brother I could have ever asked for, you know that?” Sarah said, then shook her head. 

“God two minutes in surbubi-hell and you are already turning soft on me.” He let go of he hug and playfully pushed her arm. “Now go, I'll wait here. I am already breaking out, I told you! He pointed to an invisible patch on his face. Sarah took no notice and got out, shutting the door behind her. Just then her phone rang. Beth's pink one. 

“Yeah?” Sarah answered. 

“I can see you. Cover your face, and get around the back of the house to the basement doors. Knock quietly and wait.” Sarah heard the phone cut off, she looked back to Felix who was already checking his 'spots' out and walked around back. 

The basement doors were white french doors, the basement was actually the ground floor, except the front door on the other side of the house had stairs to the first floor. Sarah lifted her hand to knock, but before she could even make contact with the wooden frame it opened. Alison opened them, gave her a scowl and walked in the house. 

“Hi.” Sarah said sarcastically, and then stepped in. She could feel herself being mushed into a housewife just by entering but she brushed it off. It was still weird, even after seeing Beth and meeting Beth to see some one who looked exactly like her. She walked into the small living area complete with soft fabric sofa and TV set, with a stair case in the top right of the room, and another room just to the right of the door behind the sofa. As she stepped in she closed the doors, rubbing her hands together and brushing her fingers through her hair. 

It was then she met the third. A girl exactly like her, in terms of face and body, but completely different. The noticeable thing about this relative was the big thick dreadlocks pulled back into a cute pony tail. Next was her striking black rimmed glasses in a rounded fashionable shape. After that was her silver nose ring and her bright big white smile. Sarah felt something there when they contacted eyes, but ignored it and smiled back. It was like it was infectious or something. 

“Hi, I'm Cosima. We talked on the phone?” Cosima said, her hands talking with her, covered in rings and jewellery. Alison stood to the side of the door which Cosima had just come out of. Her arms folded across her chest and her eyes annoyed. Cosima on the other hand was more than happy to see her, and Sarah thought that was really nice. “Sit?” Cosima offered and walked around the sofa from the room to get a better view. Sarah sat down, and Alison sat away form her on an opposite arm chair. “I am sorry Alison for Beth, but we have this to deal with now.” Cosima said, apparently consoling Alison, who huffed. 

“Look I don't want any drama I just want to know who we are too each other.” Sarah asked, her face sorta expecting a big drama but also pleading for answers in the way she smiled. Her eyes caught Cosima's and they smiled to each other. 

“Long story short. We can't really tell you.” Cosima said, her face awkward and her smile apologetic as her hands talked for her again, shaped like awkward fingers dancing together like they were creating a ball of awkward fire which would end up dissipating into the ether. 

“What do you mean? We are sisters right, Beth--”

“Don't talk about her.” Alison pleaded keeping her head together. She was sitting uncomfortably and nonchalantly pulled out a pistol gun from behind her. Sarah jumped back, almost falling off the sofa. 

“Holy shit!” She called out. 

“SH!” Alison hushed in a whisper. “Don't wake my children!” 

“You're crazy!” Sarah called out again, before quieting down. Cosima lifted her hand up and ushered Alison to lower the gun. 

“Are you going to tell her or am I?!” Alison said, standing up from her sitting, gun still in her hand. This housewife was crazy. Cosima was just about to object when Alison blurted it out. 

“We are not sisters! We are clones! A genetic experiment, we are laboratory rats for some f'ed up experiment!” Alison shouted this right in Sarah's face, who just stayed there in her shocked position on the sofa away from Alison's gun. It made sense. It just made sense. But it was impossible. 

“What the--” Sarah began. 

“It's true! We are genetically identical, well at least we think. We have been trying to get blood samples from another..'version' of ourselves called Helena, but we have been having trouble--” 

“Genetically identical?” Sarah said, trying to get her head around it all. “What.”

“Believe me I have a PhD in evolutionary developmental biology and it's all there. As far as we are aware there are 8 of us. Yourself, myself, Alison, Helena, Beth—well, there was 8 of us, including 4 others from Europe. But we don't really know. I was going to break the news better than Alison, she is just upset about--”

Sarah put her hand up to stop her speaking, she stared at the floor for a minute and then looked back to Cosima. 

“Ok. So now twins, clones right. Is that even legal?” Sarah asked, accepting what she had been told. It all fit, unless she was going fucking insane, she met her 'twin' clone Beth who then killed herself, and then Alison who also looked exactly like her, and Cosima and now 5 others....

“Well no. Since the faults in animal cloning the whole thing has been shut down, not to mention the ethical set backs. It should never be legal.” Cosima said.


	4. DYAD wolf

Part 4

“I see that in your latest story, you have lead with the idea that you are not Beth. That somehow you just got mixed up in the drama of her life, and that's why you've ended up here.” Dr Leekie had acquired glasses since our meeting yesterday and was holding them in his hand which laid on his crossed legs. I sat there arms folded on the chair and watched him. He gave me a slight look a confusing look that I couldn't quite understand, but his eyes drifted down and he adjusted his position. “Let's entertain for a second that you are not in fact Beth. Why would you pretend to be?” Dr. Leekie had never asked the question like this before, he had normally jumped around it and dodged it, but there was something new in his tone, a hidden meaning, something he didn't want to let out. Through the corner of my eyes which were now looking to the floor I could see him flick his eyes to the CCTV camera in the corner of the room. My hands clenched together between my knee's and I thought about it. Even though my story had not changed it had not been totally honest, but that was because there was something I felt like I was leaving out. Something in what Beth had said the day before she died that had made me change my whole perception of things. But what that was is stuck in my mind! Not that they know this. And I would like to keep it like that. 

“I came to New York to see my daughter...I hadn't seen her in over 10 months and I just felt like grabbing her and leaving with my foster brother...” I realised this would sound far fetched, unbelievable to have this weird dysfunctional family and background. “When I got there I met a woman on the train station whom looked just like me, she had half arsed asked for change and I didn't have any, but when I looked around to her we both sort of freaked for a second. She went to leave but stopped as if waiting for me to do something, when I just looked at her she quickly scrawled her name and number on paper and gave it to me. I called after her but she had ran up the station exit by now and I just stood there thinking 'what the shite just happened'.

“Why did you assume her identity?” I realised he had heard my story a thousand times but I felt like it would be important in explaining my reasons. Dr Leekie had not written anything except a small sentence or two throughout the story, it was the same thing he wrote every time. 'More treatment'. I looked at him as if 'watch it, I was getting there on my own'. He ignored my threatening look. 

“What if you just walked off a train and met your twin sister. What if you just suddenly found your lost family after years and years of foster care and a family you had grew to call your own? Well when I got to Felix's apartment after calling him before I met Beth, he persuaded me to call her. But that wasn't until a few days later, anyway we met up for coffee or drinks or something I don't remember. From what she told me about her life, from being a cop to living in a flashy modern pad to her boyfriend to her just life, you can't blame a drifter for picking up the pieces when she urr went.” 

“But exactly 'why'? What apart from the lavish lifestyle appealed to you, I doubt a girl who had nothing would suddenly what everything, why not just something? Why did you live her life up until 3 months ago?” Dr Leekie had been writing things down now, much to my horror. As my fingers nervously played with each other. Over the progression of the three months, through therapy and treatment I had developed a slouch and it was awful. Now I just sat there hunched over staring at the floor and his feet as he looked the to CCTV again. 

“Why?..” My eyes searched for answers. It was all in what she had told me the day before she died. All of the fucking answers were right there. But why couldn't I remember it! “Because I wanted to learn more. I wanted to learn about this life I could have lead if we didn't get separated, how I could have the uni graduate with a detective job and great life. But I guess it didn't turn out so great. 

“Ok. Well, Beth I am afraid I am going to have to prescribe some more treatment to you. I feel like there is still something you are not telling us. Anyway, aside from this, lets talk about your story.” He pulled out some more papers of my writing handing me a copy. Again I held the crisp sheets between my hands and looked at the black text. “Why did you start with this Alison Hendrix person? It's a shift in perspective?” He asked, poised to write. I had to think for a second. I didn't even really know, I didn't know who this woman was but when I started writing I felt like I suddenly knew so much more. All I went on when I had the inspiration was a soccer mom in an uptight suburb neighbourhood with two adopted kids and a drinking problem. And it just sort of went on from there. When it came to Alison meeting me, well Sarah, it was as if I thought, what if I met other sisters of mine, what life's would they lead, where would the nurture side of the debate have taken me if I lived like it. 

“I just had a thought of this woman and how her mind would work in this shite suburb she lived in. And how if I met her she would react. I added in the knife part because I thought, hey what's more dramatic then an alcoholic suburban housewife pointing a knife at ya' gut and questioning you!”

“If these are you sisters, why in the first story did they...together?” 

“In that story they aren't. The first story is set like in the future in what I could dream of when I get out of here--”

 

“You have a life sentence Beth. There is no out.”

“No! There is no out for Beth! Beth who is already dead. She is fucking dead because all of this CCTV evidence bullshit drove her over the edge. I am not Beth. I am Sarah!” I shouted, standing up and staring at his face with my fists clenched and ready to smash his face in. But every single attempt was never going to go anywhere. I would just get prescribed new treatment and left in my room to rot until our next session. “Sorry.” I said, not meaning it and sat back down. 

“Carry on..”

“They are not sisters, they are genetically identical, sorta like if I got a dog and cloned it and it was given birth to by a completely different dog then the original and the clone wouldn't be related by law in anything or even culturally related. It's like, aren't the whole human race supposedly related or something? So they just look the same. In the story they are like born a month apart anyway.” Dr Leekie wrote something and by now had put his glasses back onto his face. 

“You get defensive over these 'characters'.” 

“What's that supposed to mean.” The way he said 'characters' really set me on edge but I couldn't place why. 

“You sometimes can act as if these are real. In last months entries you went into less detail. In fact I have noticed since we started this and paired it with your treatment your stories have become more and more vivid.” 

“Yeah well maybe it's working?” I said. Leekie sat more uneasily in his chair and looked to the camera again. As I looked to him questioningly he brushed my look off and pushed his glasses up with his index finger and licked it, turning pages of his notes. There was a strange feeling in my stomach as if the treatment was not 'working' how they wanted. Just after yesterdays sessions and then treatment, I could remember today that Beth had told me something before she had died. Maybe it was influencing what I wrote?

“That's all for today. Same time tomorrow. Before dinner you will be having another treatment session, this time with Miss Delphine instead of Dr. E.” I looked to the clock ticking harshly in the corner and it had only been 20 minutes. It was no where near their time slot, but who was I to complain. Obediently I rose up from my sitting position, picking out the wedgy I had received from my starch fabric grey jumpsuit and walked to the door, opening it. As usual douche and douche two grabbed my arms and lifted my body, dragging me to the room. Still I couldn't understand why they wouldn't let me walk, I was capable. Maybe Beth wasn't? Well she could when I met her. The same linoleum flashed past underneath my white pump shoe feet and I just watched the different patterns I could make in a second from the accidental designs. My door was unlocked and I was placed in. I had only 10 minuted before they would be back to take me to treatment. Which was odd. So I watched them leave out of the small door hatch, before they closed it in my face. Every millimetre was watched in here, so I had to make it look as if I was just sitting about. My feet dragged me to the edge of the bed and I sat down, bending over to take my shoes off. Well looking like I was. As I did, one had pretended to itch the back of my leg. My finger tips felt the cold metal tapped to the underside of my bed and grabbed it out. As I pushed the blade into my sock my shoe came off and so did the next one. My body fell back onto the rock solid bed, so this was an immediate regret and I just watched the ceiling. 

Before long the orderlies had come back and knocked once on the door. There was no reason to knock, it was a policy thing for privacy, even though there was no privacy what so ever in this place. Every corner there was a camera flashing its red light, observing for 'safety' but like everything in this place there was a double meaning. Again being dragged I noticed the DYAD institute logo and went to spit at it, before hearing foot steps and seeing Dr. Leekie walk past, giving me the strangest look before disappearing in the flash behind me. What was his problem. As the corridors drew nearer and the walls became less sparkling white and more grimy grey I realised this was also a different room. My eyes frantically searched the walls, there were no logo's but this was definitely a part of the building judging from the spacing and the design. Abruptly they stopped me outside of a door, one knocked twice on it before it opened for them. They let go of my arms and I dropped to my feet, looking inside. The first thing that caught my attention was the woman that opened it, a young girl around my age, maybe older with mousy blonde beautiful curly hair just falling short of her shoulders. Her face beamed at me, even though she had no reason to. It caught me off guard and I attempted a smile back before the orderlies pushed me into her, she moved away but steadied me. The room itself was dark, the windows which looked like any other window in this place were covered over with thin line blinds to cut some of the light out, whilst leaving enough to see. Although the main source of light was computer screens plotted around the room. Actually it looked like my science lab in school growing up, so immediately I felt uneasy, was this deliberate? 

“Hello, I am Delphine.” The woman said, taking my wrist and walking me to a machine in the middle of the room, which looked like something you would see in an 'industrial' revolution museum, dusty and metal, a hunk of machinery with a slight blue to it. There was a seat at one side with a head rest facing the machine. Now it looked like something you would see at the optician. 

“Hey.” I said, she probably thought I was Beth too, but she did not say my name. And for sake of repetition I was not going to spill my life story as 'not Beth' again. This must have been a new doctor, as I had never seen her before and I would remember. Delphine made me stand beside the machine with the chair as she turned to the edge of the room where the computers lined on a a long table. As she tapped her fingers on the keys, the orderlies locked the door behind them and left. A screen that I hadn't seen before lit up on the machine in front of the head rest. 'DYAD' the logo shone up, this time nothing about the criminally insane, thank fuck. 

“Can you take a seat please.” This was not the service I was used to seeing in this place, it was 'sit here now!' or 'Get the fuck up.', no one asked her, even if this was not a question it could be, and that was nice. Quickly I took my seat still looking at her, and then the screen which had changed to a simple blue pixilated screen. Delphine clicked something and turned back around to face me, walking closer right behind and holding my head gently between her hands. She lead me forward to rest on the head bracket and adjusted some straps. 

“This is a new treatment.” Delphine started. “It will enhance your memory.” This was not something I had done before, all of the treatment before was meant to do this but just numbed me out and made me feel high for a bit. I grabbed her wrist and stared at her in horror, this would just push what Beth had said to me further and further back into my mind. Delphine smiled politely, and removed my hand with a tight hold and tapped something on the side of the machine. Just before it was about to go on she turned to me, I noticed the camera was behind her head and I hadn't really checked but there were no more in the room. 

“The wolf is howling.” Delphine said, her expression apologetic and serious. Just before I could say anything, or even react in my facial expression the machine kicked into treatment and all went black.


	5. Evo-Devo

Part 5: Sarah Manning entry 003, 9th January 2013

Helena bashed her fist against the big wooden door again, it echoed her, reverberating the walls surrounding it. 

“Excuse me, miss, can I help you?” A hotel employee walked up beside Helena in the corridor outside of room 309, politely holding her by the elbow. She brushed him off and stared wildly at him. Her hands firmly palm down on the door frame. 

“No.” She whispered and stopped battering the door. “The woman, is she here?” Helena asked the man, who stared at her with a mix of chivalry and hidden terror. Helena leaned against the door in her thick green winter coat with fur hood rim and black jeans, when the man shook his head. “Damn.” Again her strong Ukrainian accent that had never seemed to leave her broke through the silence of the corridor as the hotel attended was swallowed by the elevator doors, going down. Her weak hands tapped the door again, before she sighed heavily and sat on the floor outside of it. “Germans.” She spat pulling out a picture of Katija she had taken just a few days before. The woman in the picture had bright dyed red hair, a petite face identical to her own but with a different style, the eye brows were controlled and her eyes cunning. Helena pulled out her clone phone from her other pocket and rammed at numbers on the pad, putting it to her ear for the tone. 

“Did you find her?” Cosima asked from the other end of the line. Helena closed her eyes and played with the picture between her fingers, cross legged on the plush floor. 

“No. Dirty German ran.” Helena said with an unprecedented venom. She could hear Cosima sigh and pause on the other end. 

“Where did you loose her?” She asked, typing something on her computer as she put Helena on loud speaker. 

“I was following, she went into hotel. There was trouble about her room being trashed and credit cards, so I couldn't get to her. Then she vanished. Poof.” Helena said, with the last words her eyes widened and her hands made like explosions. 

“Do you have any leads?” 

“You want me to break into security room, steal tapes?” 

“Do what you have to do, we need her samples!” The phone cut dead. Helena stared at it for a second and secure it back in her pocket. It was warm in the building but she couldn't take it off. Her body got her up, she looked about the hall for a way down that wasn't elevators. She hated elevators. When she found the stairs, Helena jumped down them in chunks hurting her ankles but sucking it up. A man came up, she noticed and jumped to the side pulling her hood up and watching the wall, careful for him to recognise her after what she was about to do. People were coming up, but she ignored them cowering in the corner with her hood up again, this time acting as if she was on her phone. Except she did not have a phone in her hands. The walls to the stair case were grey and grimy, much like this whole city and along the whole stair case there was one red strip of paint about mid wall going up diagonally with the stairs. On it is red in big white letters 'emergency exit' and arrows to the nearest ones, but there wasn't one on this floor. The people mostly just watched her awkwardly and scurried away, afraid she might jump them. When the coast was clear she continued jumping until on one floor there was a room with the sign, 'Private' written in stamped on black lettering. Helena tried the handle. It wouldn't budge. Her fingers traced all over its clean surface, feeling the small ridge up the sign and its plastic coating and then the ridge back to the door itself. Helena pressed her face against it's surface, sniffed the varnish, and listened behind it. There was no nose of recording equipment, so she carried on, pouncing down the stairs like an animal. Her hood fell backwards in the movement but she ignored it. The next private room she came to was on the opposite side to the last and right at the bottom of a section of stair case. This time she got her hair pins straight out and her finger felt into the key hole. It was already unlocked. By pressed her ear against the door she could hear no people but a buzz of machines. Her fingers pried into the lock, feeling for the points of pressure on the key slot for it to open. With a click it did, and she went inside, sniffing the air as she did. Inside was a dark room filled with monitors and a half filled cup of hot coffee. She licked the rim of the cup immediately and swallowed it contents, forgetting it's hotness and letting it burn her throat. Once it was empty she tossed it to the floor, licked her lips, wiped her mouth and sat in the bog black office chair. Her hands grabbed the side handles and she bounced on it, feeling its texture with her finger tips and the fun of it trying to resettle itself. After the novelty of the chair wore off she bit her lip and watched the monitors. Once caught her attention. In the laundry room of the hotel, there was a shape just out of view laying on the floor. Around the thing were laundry baskets to cover the scene, work maids walked past it, dumped their gatherings and walked on. With some effort at finding the right button, whilst stuffing a half eaten muffin into her mouth from the desk she moved the camera further to the left. Without hesitation she jumped up, looked where this room was on the hotel floor plan to the right of the monitors and ran out of the room. A security guard who'd just finished visiting the toilet tried to stop her after she crashed out, but she pushed past, flying down the stairs in a hurried mess of legs and railing. Once she reached the floor below the ground floor her eyes flashed around, looking for the laundry room. The image of Katija laid cold on the floor filling her mind and the horrible things that could have happened to her. A maid with a handful of washing came out of a room down a dark corridor to Helena's left. Helena leaped at the chance, running so hard towards this woman and her room. The woman saw Helena screamed and tried to run back into the room, but Helena got there to fast, pushing her like the security guard to the floor. Inside the room as white walls and a whirring of washing machines and dryers. Stacked to her left and right were detergents and softeners of a industrial kind with little branding. Her eyes caught the colours just for a second and she became distracted, before shaking her head, pouncing again down the small white corridor of a room. All along the walls were painted white pipes to the machines and switches for them at intervals. The machines too were industrial sized, big enough to fit at least 3 of her in on a cycle and they leaned on the wall to her left. She was familiar with the new stack of laundry baskets and ran to them straight away in the next opening. Her hands frantically picked at them pushing them behind her as she revealed Katija's body cold on the floor, her face up but her body down. It was an unnatural sight, but Helena ignored it dropped to the floor beside her panting and hugged her lifeless body in her arms. 

“What the hell is this?!” A maid called out who had finally caught up with her running. When then maid saw the woman after battling through the baskets she let out a roaring scream. More maids came to her side and did the same. Helena cried herself silently over the body, staring at the floor, her wild eyes dead and lifeless just for a minute. 

“Sestra!” She called out, shaking the woman in her arms. Quickly her hands found her coat pocket, in her sweating sitting position and rammed the numbers in again. 

“Katija is dead!” Helena called out down the phone, on the other end she could hear Cosima freaking out and rushing through papers, but Helena hung up. The head domestic manager of the hotel had run back to the phone and called security who were now ramming themselves down the stairs and across the hall. Helena quickly put the body down, yanking her red hair out. Her phone now back in her pocket, her hand searched inside her jacket pulling out a test tube with a stopped. One finger came to Katija's lips which were red with blood and ran itself across them, collecting the still liquid and dropping it form her finger into the tube. Once she had enough, she stoppered it, kissed her head and jumped up. Gaming the tube back into her coat she ran the other way to the security guards now coming her way. At the end of a corridor she found another stair case and she flung herself up it, to freedom. 

“Did you get the samples?” Cosima asked, she was a little freaked, but holding it together. Helena danced her legs together as she sat on top of the apartment block her legs flung over the roof side.   
“Yes.” Helena said, her hand holding the picture of Katija again, looking at her bright hair in the picture and contrasting it with the red hair now in her fist. The wind picked up and wooshed her blonde curls around her face. She brushed it away from her eyes. 

“Good. Do you have the brief case?” Cosima asked. Helena looked around her to the silver case just on the other edge of the roof, supported by the ledge she was sat on. 

“Ya.” She said, stuffing the photo into her pocket, putting the phone on loudspeaker and finding the second test tube for the hair. 

“Ok, I'm coming back from uni tomorrow, meet me at the temple.” the phone cut dead. Helena picked the muffin out of her teeth as she sat there, staring at the hair now in the test tube. She looked at the way the light reflected on it, the sun just hanging low in the sky behind her. The reds and orange mixed and it looked amazing. 

“Sestra...” Helena whispered. Her fingers held the glass tube, and twirled it. It almost dropped. Her fist grabbed it hard and stuffed it back in her pocket, her hands by her sides. Carefully she looked over the 4 story edge of the block down to the alley way down below. It was gratified full of gang tags and messages, but she could not decipher them properly. Her feet swung around and she pulled herself off of the ledge an onto the gravel filled roof top. Hands picked up the case and put it on the ledge, kneeling down her eyes got to the same level looking at the clips. Fingers rolled the numbers over until they both clicked open. She lid lifted to reveal a foam inside, with little slots big enough for 16 test tubes, one of hair and one of blue for each known clown. These were to go to Cosima who would test them for genetics, whether they were in fact identical or not. There were already a few blood samples from the European clones, two of which were already dead. Helena had spent a lot of time in Europe all the way from Germany to Italy and back to get these. Katija was the last. It was luck that Katija had come to America, well not luck that she was also murdered here. Luck that the murderer had fucked with the wrong Ukrainian.

Cosima turned the dial on her microscope to get a better look at the blood samples. With her glasses off she could see that there seemed to be nothing wrong with them. Again she prepared a slide carefully taking the blood with a sterilised scoop and spreading it on the slide. She secured it on its place and readied the dial on the zoom. Again fine. Quickly she glanced over at the silver case that was placed on her lab desk side. It had a foam casing with slots full of vials of hair and blood. All except one row was full, Sarah's. 

“Hey, do mind checking these samples over, basic testing..” Cosima asked, handing the slides across her full packed desk to her male friends less cluttered, more perfected own. He smiled at her under his vision basic glasses and took them. 

“What like cystic fibrosis that kind of thing?” He put them in a space container to keep safe. He looked and sounded like a nerd, he might as well be one if he were not surrounded by at least 20 other students all looking and talking the same. 

“Yeah and can you run the urr barcode gene test?” Cosima asked, her head tilting to the side, letting her dreadlocks move over her head, and smiled over her glasses. He tensed up a little and smiled at her, a little uneasy by the way she looked at him, blushing as he was. 

“Yeah, but who's the subject?” 

“Subjects. Just a project, don't worry about it.” Cosima assured, looking back at the lock she had just cut whilst he was distracted and putting it in a tube. She handed that and a few other samples too him which he took hesitantly. 

“What's in it for me?” He asked, giving her a coy smile, she returned the smile and grinned before taking a moment to think up a reward. 

“You get to have sex..” She started, before looking at him in a serious but jokey way, “With yourself.” He laughed a little too loudly and obviously at the joke. His hands moving to pick the container up as he walked away awkwardly laughing. Cosima watched after him, but then returned to her own desk's view. Noticing all of the carefully collected samples were still in place, she pulled the lid closed and locked it with a click. When about to pack up she noticed a voice she had never heard before. Although her first semester, Cosima made it her mission to 'know' everyone, part out of suspicion, but mostly out of a keen interest in how other people work, think and live. The voice was coming from a woman around her age with short to mid length blonde curly hair, natural mousy blonde with bright natural shine to it. Cosima's eyes caught the girls, who smiled and waved quickly whilst on the phone a desk over from her friend and her own. Cosima watched the girl on the phone, even though this girl spoke French there was a worry in her tone. Cosima secretly knew a little bit of French but not a lot, and so could tell that the conversation was in a negative tone about not being able to do it, change of plan, and then something unintelligible. As the girl put the phone down Cosima quickly looked away at her microscope as to not look creepy, but gave her self an internal smile to look back at this beautiful woman that had just walked in. As she looked back up, the woman was packing to leave, stuffing papers wildly into her bag, all except one and leaving immediately after. Cosima noticed the paper left behind, but didn't make her move yet. As soon as the new hot French girl had left through the lab doors she made her move, walking around her own desk and to the back of the girls. Fingers grabbed the paper. 

Helena stepped out of the shadowy alley way entrance to meet Cosima in the low hanging sun light. Cosima smiled, but not too obviously and walked across the road to meet her clone. The temple was just an old religious binding called Cold Water, but they referred to it in code as to not get caught up or found if all went to hell. Anyway, it was were Cosima's parents had brought her as a kid and it just seemed a fitting place. Helena's hands were firmly in her pockets as she peaked around Cosima's approaching looking at passers by with eyes so evil and dreadful the people scurried. Cosima stood by a lamp post facing the alley Helena had just came from, Helena stood just at it's entrance, hood up. 

“Brief case?” Cosima asked, her smile gone in the heavy business of not being caught or noticed as looking the same. Cosima was wearing a bright red button coat with black tights and high heels, a bag on her shoulder. Helena was still wearing the dark jeans, and green coat with the fur. Helena looked around, went back to the alley and produced a silver case, spotless in cover. She quickly handed it to Cosima when no one was looking and then stepped back again. “Thank you so much Helena.” Cosima said, this time with a genuine smile and tilt of the head, her hands thanking her in gesture. Helena smiled at her, a cruel but helpless smile. Much like the smile of an orphan who just wants a family but none will take her, not even her own. “Ok so, when we figure this out I will be in touch. Do you have somewhere to stay?” Cosima asked, holding the case like a normal briefcase now. Helena nodded at the question even though Cosima knew it was a lie. Cosima smiled apologetically and walked away to the north, Helena back into her alley to the west. 

Cosima found herself in the laboratory's corridor after she had found the paper, in search for the French girl. To her luck the girl was on the phone crying, more sobbing leant against a wall. This may not be a good time, Cosima thought and stepped back a little in her heels, before thinking again and pushing forward, tapping the girl on the arm. The girl jumped slightly but warmly smiled when she saw Cosima's face. 

“Hi! You left this behind on your desk, I just thought I would-” Cosima trailed off as the girl turned to her, her eyes brightening. Her hand took the paper with a polite touch. 

“Thank you.” The girl said, and went to turn back to the wall before Cosima interrupted again. 

“Full disclosure, I did take a peak at it, are those your grades?” Cosima asked her hands mainly talking for her as her head tilted again in wonder of the girl. The girl smiled once more as she turned and seemed to forget what she was crying about. She nodded and looked to the folded bit of paper. Cosima clapped slightly in awe of the grades, pretty much straight A+ apart from A's. 

“That's amazing!” The girl looked up to her and adjusted her standing position her leg crossing the other. “I'm Cosima.” She said holding out her hand full of rings and bracelets. The girl took it with a slight polite giggle. 

“I'm Delphine. Nice to meet you.” Delphine had said the last part in French but Cosima understood and said the same thing back in a flirty accent. 

“You do microbiology?” Cosima asked stepped only slightly closer in a friendly way, the girl unfolded her helpless arms and her body language screamed happy to talk. 

“Yeah, I am actually doing Immunology.” She said, with a twist of her hair with her finger tips. 

“Ahhh, I'm Evo-Devo!” Cosima said moving her hands in excitement and understanding over where her degree stood with her own. At the phrase Delphine looked confused, as if she might understand what was being said but if not she had no freaking clue. “Evolutionary developmental biology! We call it that here it's sort of a..thing. Hey what are you up now?” Cosima tried to explain, when she said it's full name Delphine nodded and her head lifted as if this was a revelation a smile coming over her confused face. At the proposition she lit up a little bit and moved her head down to look at her. Cosima was just a little bit shorter than her, even in heels, but it didn't matter. 

“Urr nothing, apart from getting to know the place nothing, you?” Delphine said, there was an underlying want to get something to do in her voice and Cosima heard this and responded. 

“Great! Nothing either, do you like coffee?” Cosima asked a playful smile on her face. 

“Love it.” Delphine said her accent thick on the pronunciation, making sure both words were fully understood.

Helena watched them both walk into the shop, her eyes keen on who this new person was. Cosima did not notice her there and walked in smiling with this girl. The girl had frightfully beautiful hair and petite beautiful face. Horrible, Helena thought to herself. Her hands held onto the edge of the alley wall as she stalked, the cold rough brick matching how she felt. Cosima was wearing the same red coat, except this time she had one some patterned black tights, heels and had done her locks a little differently than normal, but Helena couldn't place exactly what. The two girls lined up in the coffee shop eyeing up somewhere to sit, before trying to grab the window sofa's. As they ordered Helena moved her footing and heard something behind her, thinking it was just her feet her ignored it. The noise continued. With a feminine grunt she turned, expecting to see a cat or something like that, but what she did see what a woman exactly like her, identical even. Helena jumped, grabbing onto the wall. Considering that she had seen at least 4 other clones in her time, it never stopped freaking her out each time. The woman was wearing full on business wear, a tight but professional grey skirt, a white feminine business blouse, a grey matching tailored blazer, skin tights and heels that were sharp and threatening looking. Helena after getting over the initial shock stepped forward putting out her hands to test the illusion in front of her. 

“Hello Helena.” The woman said, her voice cracking the air with a controlled coolness. Helena jumped back once more and stared at the woman. She was not like the rest.

“How do you know my name?” This time in her half scared half ecstatic voice her accent was raw, renewed as if she were in the country at the orphanage all over again. 

“We are sisters.” The woman said, she stepped forward and so did Helena. At Helena's steps men in black suits with dark glasses came from behind the woman and behind herself, securing the gap between them. 

“We are not sestras.” Helena said, her tone suddenly changing. This woman did not seem friendly, she was too cool, too calculated as if each word she had used was perfectly chosen. 

“There is something in you Helena, that we need.” The woman said. Her hands now not holding themselves in front of her stomach, in the professional way she always had. They were instead holding themselves out to a man in a black suit. The man handed her a file from a bag Helena had missed on him. In the file were pictures, Helena was handed them and given a gesture to look in. In her hands the paper felt cool, and she was tempted to just run, something just didn't feel right. But her temptation to look and find out about her family got the better of her. Inside were pictures of a brown haired woman, a woman that looked exactly like her. For a moment she thought that it was Beth, but then she remembered the sad truth that Beth had killed herself. So she looked a little closer, The frown on the girls face and the way the eye liner was just a little too thick showed that it was not her. Helena studied that small details of the girls face, straight on and side on, from a distance and not. Her scar that she had got in a mountain bike crash had vanished. This was not Beth. There was a piece of paper on the opposing side of the file faced down, as Helena's fingers went to turn it over, the file was snatched out of her hand from an around around her and handed back to the woman. 

“Do you know this woman?” The woman said, Helena stared into her eyes. If she said yes then they would question her about who she was and where she came from, but she had no idea. If she said no then something altogether more worse could happen, the feeling of oblivion was creeping up on her. Helena shook her wide reddened eyes at the woman, who tilted her head only ever so slightly in response. Without a word the woman began to walk around her to the main road, and ignored Helena as she did. 

“Hey!” Helena called out, “Who are you?”

“That would spoil all of the fun.” The woman said. 

Cosima grabbed the drinks tray and looked to where Delphine had reserved for the two of them. Her favourite, the window seats. Delphine sat back, her legs crossed in her shirt and her arm balancing her head on the arm of the sofa chair. Cosima smiled wildly at her and put the tray on the wooden varnished coffee table. Delphine sat up, uncrossing her legs and tilting them to the side, leaning down to get her drink. 

“Thank you. I will pay you ba--” Delphine began, bringing the hot chai latte to her lips and smelling its sweet aroma. 

“Oh god, no need!” Cosima said, taking the seat next to Delphine instead of opposite her, the other side of the coffee table. “I know the people here, I've come here quite a lot this semester. Discount.” Cosima winked, and took her own vanilla infused americano. As she sat down Delphine adjusted her seating, sitting a little closer but looking as if she was just crossing her legs and sitting back. Cosima noticed and smiled again, sipping her coffee, her hand wrapped around the cup. Outside of the timber rimmed window was the cold and bleak December winter. A phone pole and line was immediately outside to the left, then a concrete path before the black top, with only one car parked on the road by a metre to the right. Cosima looked back inside, her legs uncrossed but together leaning towards Delphine. 

“So how are you liking immunology?” She sat back too, being sucked into the soft but old leather sofa puffed full of stuffing for extra comfort. Delphine was in the middle of taking a sip of her creamy latte as this question was posed. She laughed slightly, and then prepared and answer. But before she could answer Cosima was laughing slightly but trying to hold it in. Then that dreadful feeling we all go through broke through Delphine, something was on her face, or something was wrong, why was Cosima laughing. 

“What?!” Delphine whispered with urgency but in a friendly tone, the coffee went to the table and her hand to her face. 

“You have some milk on your upper lip.” Cosima said, her hand coming to her own head in comical embarrassment. Delphine laughed out loud and looked around for a tissue. Cosima handed her one that came from the tray, and waiting until it was clean. She had missed a bit and Cosima laughed again, pointing slightly to her face. Delphine closed her eyes and sighed as well as laughed and cleaned the last bit off. “There you go.” Cosima said, her smile as bright as ever, Delphine returned the look and giggled, putting the s crumpled tissue back on the tray. She went to take another sip of her drink and then didn't, Cosima sipping hers gently with both of her hands holding it. 

“Immunology is everything I'd expected. I love learning about the immures systems across species, the different ways in which they tackle disease or work or treat foreign bodies. It is fascinating to see the transformation of health to sickness.” The way Delphine said this warmed Cosima some how, the passion in her voice, the way when she began talking about it, even with the medical facts of it all, made her head face upwards in respect of it. 

“Yeah, I love that branch of biomedical science! In fact pretty much all science, it is so interesting. Evo-devo-” 

“Evolutionary developmental biology!” Delphine stated, happy that she had learned what this meant before more embarrassment. Cosima smiled at the passion with which she said it. 

“Exactly! It's great, studying evolution of different organisms, where they originate, what made that that way, the environmental factors. The massive nature nurture debate is a favourite topic of mine.” 

“How much something in your genes affects you verses how the limit to which your environment influences you?” Delphine took another sip of her coffee, this time no milk was on her top lip. Cosima watched how her lips touched the glass and how her tongue just peaked to lick her plump red lips. 

“It's such a crazy debate! I mean on one hand you have the guys like me who are interested in both sides, obviously lots more in genetics and evolution of genes in species; but on the other hand you have creationists who believe that we were born like this and haven't changed and if we have it's totally the environment and how we react to it. But as much as it's my PhD I try to not take it too seriously, I mean you can't take the environment from the genes and the genes from the environment to see, so I guess we'll never know. After all scientists are just poking things with sticks and testing hypothesis.” Cosima took another sip of her coffee and kept talking about the debate, her hands waving around emphasising her words, making her bracelets sing. Delphine half stopped listened and just watched the way she spoke, the enthusiasm in her research and subject and how it affected everything around her. Her eyes locked as she spoke. Cosima noticed the dazzle shine her Delphine's eyes and gazed too. Her words trailed off, as she sipped her coffee again. Delphine quickly looked to the table, the tray, the people stuffed around them in big coats and scarf's in the hot café. Anywhere to not get lost in her eyes. 

“I love your raw passion. I miss it. I used to have it.” Delphine's tone had changed “But you know times change.” Delphine suddenly looked sad and it reminded her of when they met, the anger on the phone and the crying in the corridor only earlier to today. 

“If you don't mind me asking, are you ok?” Cosima's tone changed too but her face was still in smile mode. Delphine put her coffee on her lap her hands wrapped around it. 

“Yes, just..you know when you handed me my paper..it was my boyfriend. Well ex.” 

“Long distance?” 

“A whole ocean apart.” 

“That sucks.” Cosima moved a little closer and put her hand on Delphine's. Her own coffee came to her mouth again and she sipped the warm liquid. As she did she saw something that caught her eye across the road. Distracted she looked first at Delphine and then to the distractor. Helena stood just opposite, in the alley they had met at a few days back. After adjusting her seating pulling her hand back of of Delphine's she watched closer to her clone. Helena was watching her, her distinctive green coat flapping slightly in the wind, the fur rim highlighting her pale ill looking face. Delphine was looking down now, reminded of her sorrow, and she bit her lip. 

“Can we just forget that. The passion, it was lost in him. He never had it. Completely and utterly drained me. So I came here, I had an offer from this university as a PhD student.” Delphine attempted to smile again and looked back to Cosima, who was watching her, a glimmer returning to her eyes.

“I'm glad you did.” Cosima smiled, and stared at her with a genuine gaze of admiration. Delphine smiled a little and looked down again. She drank the rest of her chai latte and put it down empty on the tray. Cosima still had hers but took the hint, she quickly drank the rest and put it down too. 

“Wanna get out of here?” Delphine proposed, sitting on the edge of her seat looking excited and smiling wildly. Cosima's mind was still on Helena, her eyes glanced out of the window spotting her moving back into the alley, a few people around her in black suits. Dread broke over her, frightened as to who the people where. As Delphine sat forward, she noticed the sift in Cosima's eyes, she turned her head to the window and looked out. She didn't notice anything out of the ordinary and looked back. By now Cosima had focused her eyes back on her. 

“Where do you have in mind?” Cosima asked, an edge in her voice. 

“There is a lecture I was planning on going to..” This didn't sound amazingly date like but Cosima couldn't just pounce on the new French girl. Being gay wasn't the most interesting thing about her. Delphine grabbed her bag by her feet and rummaged around in the papers she stuffed there earlier. From inside she pulled out a small A5 piece of paper. She handed it to Cosima who took it, and looked at the colours on the page and the wording. 

“Evolutionary development and the future of the human race.” Cosima read aloud her eye brows lifting in excitement at the title. “Sounds great!” She said, a little confused as to why this would something they would want to go to, but she guessed it was her subject, even if it did sound a little cheesy. Delphine clapped her hands together a little in happiness and got up from the low sofa, her hand holding Cosima's leg to aid her. As Delphine's hand grabbed her own, Cosima's eyes widened as if in 'hey sure, use my leg' but her sarcasm was replaced with a desire for a follow up. “Its in half an hour?” 

“Lets go early, I really want to meet the lecturer.” Delphine said, putting her hand out to Cosima. 

 

Helena attempted to run after her, shouting things in Ukrainian that even she had idea of the meaning. The woman walked around a corner, always ahead of her no matter how much she tried. Two men stepped back and stopped her way with their hands on her chest. Helena threw her arms about wildly trying to get past, biting and kicking them, but they held her back. Blonde hair could just be seen over their shoulders, ducking down and getting into a blacked out car at the exit of the alley. Helena lost sight of her as it sped off. The two men let her go, she flew past them her feet flinging her to the exit on the other side. Tyre marks bled into the floor, but the source was out of sight. When she turned back the two men had disappeared. 

She searched for her phone frantically pulling out items from her pockets, her fingers feeling around trying to grab it. But it wasn't there. Where was it? Helena dropped to the floor, her hands on the wet concrete feeling the muck and moss, old weeds and cigarette butts touch her palms. Her eyes crashed around, searching for the neon pink, hoping it would jump out into her sight. Knees brought her forward, plushing into the muck too, fumbling about to find it. Her hands touched something solid, but it wasn't her phone an old cardboard box of some kind. Legs jumped up before she could think and she began running towards her stake out, looking to the floor straight away. Under a poster, she pulled out her phone brushed it off harshly with her thumb and rammed the key pad. It rang and rang and rang, but Cosima did not pick up. A road irrupted from her, but she rammed again, finding a different number and dialling it. 

“Helena? Hello, are you alright?” Alison answered, kids making noise and laughing in the background. Helena realised this was a lost cause, Alison couldn't do anything but Cosima was not picking up and she always did. As Alison spoke Helena looked over to the café, Cosima and Delphine were gone. Her heart raced, her fingers holding the phone to her ear shakily. 

“There is another.” Helena spoke out, her voice shaky. There was no reason for all of this worry, for all of this trouble in her mind, but something about the woman scared her. 

“Tell Cosima, Helena. I am busy.” Alison was about to hang up but Helena spoke. 

“No! This one is not the same. She is different from the others.” Alison heard these words and thought for a moment, thinking about what this could mean. Alison was by no means the brains of the operation, she only had a fund of collected money as her participation. $75,000 in an unnamed account. Helena breathed down the phone, hoping to god that Alison could help. But she didn't say anything yet. 

“What do you mean different?” Was all she ended up saying, obviously having moved to a quieter, more private place. 

“She knows things. She had a folder with images of on of us. One I didn't know of. I have never seen her.” 

“Another one other than the one you are talking about?” 

“Ya! Different. She had blonde hair, the other brown.” Helena stopped watching where Cosima was carefully, looking for hints as to where she had gone. Alison sighed. 

“Do you know anything else apart from what she looks like?”

“No.” 

“When you know more tell Cosima, thank you for telling me.” The phone cut dead. Helena stepped out into the street, her hood all the way up again, haven fallen off when she ran after the woman. At the cafe doors she peaked in behind someone who had just come out. Her feet brought her in and she let the door close softly behind her. Inside she saw the hoards of people in coats crowding around small tables, eagerly sipping drinks and talking to each other. Her eyes wondered around whilst she tried to act like Alison would in this situation, her head high and her walk careful. But this did not look well on Helena. She jumped in front of a couple who were aiming for the sofa's Cosima had sat at with her girl-friend. They jeered at her, but she hissed back, making them step off her as she sat. Fingers felt across the leather, and her feet kicked on the coffee table to check it out. A piece of paper fell down with the words; 'Future of the human race' written in black.


	6. Cracks in foundations

Part 6

“How was treatment?” Dr. Leekie asked me, his face kind and soft, but his eyes were hard on my face, looking for something different, looking for something wrong. I just looked down to my feet which were together. Treatment had been weird. My mind was hazy as to what had happened in the last session, even what occurred just before we went into the new room. Dr. Leekie adjusted his seating shuffling his papers about his pad, resting his wrists on it, pen twirling between fingers. 

“Treatment, yeah, and what's it treating me for again doc?” I said, treatment before had not achieved anything except make my memory even worse and make me feel like I wasn't myself. He looked at me over his glasses with a sly look that made me uncomfortable.

“Beth, you think you are someone else. In fact before you were brought in you had a meeting with your own therapist and you said quote, 'glitch' unquote. Quote, 'a break' unquote. Now why would you say that if you didn't feel it.” He answered as if planned, but I didn't take any notice. He was not writing anything. There was a nervousness in him today that he was trying to put away.

“Because I am not Beth. Geez man, at least pretend you believe me.” I sat back on the leather sofa, letting my head sink slightly into material. Still he had avoided my question, what it was actually doing. “You haven't answered my question.” Dr. Leekie adjusted himself again, uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“What would that be Beth?” He simply said. In fact I noticed he hadn't written anything this whole session. 

“What does the 'treatment' do?” There was a nagging in my head, I wanted to ask him something about it specifically, but again like always I could not put my finger onto it. Dr. Leekie sat forward on his seat, his trousers rising slightly up his black socks and his hands crossed over his knees, one hand taking his glasses off. Behind him on the wall was a crack, more like a mould patch of damp that I had never seen before. It was only small, but it looked horrific as if a black and green hole was slowly opening up inside of this room.

“Look, I understand your frustration I really do. Something's in our institute are hard to get your head around, heck even myself who invented them cannot understand everything that happens here. All you need to be assured off is that this will help.” Help who? I thought to myself. My hands shuffled in my lap and all I could think about was the thing that was lost in my head. As much as I had forgotten last night I remembered much more form before, before Beth, after Beth. But stuff was still blurred. As if there were two forces in my head trying to pull me memoires out and one to pull them back in. 

“Anyway enough of that, lets talk about your story.” Dr. Leekie returned to his seating position, riffling through his pad, finding the story and unfolding it's sheets. I took the pages from his hand as he offered it to me, looking immediately at the way my name was stamped onto the top as if a subject file. I was not happy with changing the subject, but anytime not talking to this dickhead was well spent. 

“What d'ya wanna know this time?” I said attitude evident in my voice, hoping he would notice. He ignored it as usual and carried on talking. 

“Let's talk about the German. Why did you invent more of yourself. Is this again an identity thing?” Before I had even spoke he was scrawling down on his pad, the pen pressed hard on the paper. This took me a little off guard, how do you even answer that sort of question, how could you get inside of your head enough to answer that? There was something off in him, and it was really bothering me. It was something in the way he wrote nothing and then all at once, or the way he would look at me with meaning hidden under his grey eyelashes and then not again. Why was he so interested in these things I have written on my page. They weren't real. 

“Urrr, I don't know. It could be? I mean they are just characters from my imagination I guess.” Just as I said those words a horrible pain struck through my head. Loud sirens as if a whole army of police cars were crashing though my head their tries ripping over my brain. Bangs like a gong ricochetting around my skull. But then it was over. My hands went to the source and tried to comfort it but the pain was only a momentary thing. It lasted less than a second but it was so strong I could have swore my brain just exploded. Dr. Leekie jumped towards me on he edge of his seat his pad to his side, his hands were at the side of my head, not touching but ready for anything. I pushed them aside with my fingers, they dropped to his lap. After I had registered it ended my head came back up. My eyes were blurry and I couldn't really see, but I pretended I could and looked to where I thought his eyes would be, I must have been right. Slowly my hands rubbed over my face and then the sight was clear again. 

“What just happened.” He was seriously concerned, but more from a scientific point of view and less nurturing. When I saw the look in his eyes I knew something was wrong. My hands waved in front of my face and I ignored what he said, instead choosing to sit back on the sofa again. My eyes closed and I shook my head. 

“Ah nothing.. ur period, PMS headaches.” Dr. Leekie sat back, looking at me for a second an expression I'd never seen came over him, but disappeared. At least today he was not staring at the CCTV in the room. He gave me a look as if to excuse his hands near me and my own behaviour. Leekie checked over his pad that he had now picked up and looked for something, confirmation of something. Somehow I knew he knew the whole period thing was a lie. 

“I..I..I think you need more treatment.” He was scribbling something on another pad underneath his own, it was filled with options and tick boxes, he signed his name in scrawled letters. Carefully he folded it and handed it to me, as if I wasn't allowed to look. From the colour I could see this was a prescription for something, I'd have to hang onto this over night as the patient pharmacy would be shut. There was a knock at the door, obviously it wasn't for me but even so Dr. Leekie looked to me for some kind of approval. I gestured my ok with my hands and got up behind him. There was a momentary pause and he turned to look at me, his hand pressed against my chest for me to step back, so I did looking to the floor and then to his back. Straightening my grey jumpsuit. The white door opened and Dr. Leekie went out, my eyes tried to see who was there but there was nothing. The door closed. Feet edged closer to the door one by one, until I could press my ear against it, listening for something. Dr. Leekie was just outside shuffling his feet, or was it two people? 

“Dr. Leekie.” It was definitely two people at least. The voice of Dr. E broke through the door, I could hear his horrible breathing much like Leekie's but with a rough smokers touch. “We have the 'treatment'-” Even the way Dr. E. said treatment was odd, what was al this secrecy and code words. “-results here if you want to look.” There was an exchange of something, probably the results in a paper format, whatever it was there was a pause and it was ripped up. Dr. E's breathing increased drastically but he said nothing. 

“No one else knows about this?” Dr. Leekie said, his voice softer more mysterious than I had every heard. Silence. I guess there was some gesture because suddenly the topic had changed. 

“Why has the Patient shifted doctors for treatment?” Dr. E asked, this was also an answer to my questions but there was no answer. “Oh come on Aldus, at least tell me who miss Delphine is, I've never seen her before!” Again there was nothing, he might have shifted his weight away from the door, but then again it might just be my mind reasoning that he did. 

“Delphine is my prized possession E. A full doctorate in immunology--”

“Yes yes I know, I have read her file, but why her?” Dr. Leekie did not say anything, I guess there was a change in expression in Leekie's face, because Dr. E stepped down from his questioning and they were arranging a meeting to meet another staff member who they often referred to but I had never actually seen; Miss Duncan. By now I had wondered back to the sofa and their words became a muffled buzz in the back of my head. My eyes watched the ceiling as I tried to figure out what that pain was. Quickly before he came back in I unfolded the prescription paper and looked through all of the tick boxes, it was the usual stuff to numb me down and make me more 'obedient' but at the bottom there was something scrawled under his signature, very faint, as if only the very tip of his pen had scratched it in. 

'I know you're not Beth.'

The words hit me like a tonne of bricks smashing a window. My mind fell to pieces. Once what was written had fully registered he was already coming back into the room, the paper was folded once more and stuffed into my jump suit bra. My eyes were livid and wild, but I hid them in my hands trying to look bored. What the fuck. This time Dr. E had come back with him.. 

“Hello Beth-” As he said this I looked to Leekie who was purposefully avoiding my eyes, he stood next to E with his arms folded across his black shirt, his eyes firmly on E's. “We have your treatment results back and it is looking very promising, you are making real progress.” Progress to where he didn't add on. Where was this progress I was supposed to be making? I had been here three bloody months and all I had to show for it was 3 short stories and greasy hair from the lack of showering opportunities. But this was a whole new thing entirely. Leekie knew I was not Beth. What does this mean, he's going to let me go? How long has he known? Again I looked to him, but even when Dr. E was not speaking his eyes were on the CCTV and then to the small window, and then the floor. Dr. E was leaning over slightly to gage my attention with his red face. They all used the excuse of high blood pressure from a highly stressful job, but I knew that he secretly stole medication from medical store before treatment, he was always out of it. What could be so terrible he didn't want to feel it during treatment. His white lab coat hung down as he leant, his green sweaty t-shirt underneath shielding his bulging stomach. At least Leekie was a slender, healthy man who didn't sweat, the only faults was the was human, and humans hair does white and falls off, and the breathing obviously. Humans were fundamentally flawed. 

“Yeah.” I said, it was the only response that was ready in my head so I said it. When I responded he stopped leaning over, and stood up right. 

“It's nice to see you looking well now you are with Miss. Delphine.” There was an obvious hesitance in his voice when he said her name, he even glanced quickly and hardly noticeably at Leekie who ignored him. When Dr. E's expression became less of a dig he was turning to go. Leekie put his hand on his back and was heading out too. He muttered something to the sides of the doors where my orderlies stood and they came in. Before I could argue or say a word they had me up by my shoulders and were dragging me back to the room. In the distance, I could hear Miss Duncan mentioned again, but they were too far gone now. 

“Treatment is in 10 minutes.” One said, his voice gruff and accented. 

“With who?” I asked, staring at the floor as always as it rushed past me under me, like water under a bridge. The man took a second to think about what he was going to say. 

“Treatment is in 10 minutes.” He repeated as if given strict instructions not to say anything. 

The door to my room was unlocked, I was pushed in, it was locked and the cycle continued like it had every day. This time, well like every other time I went to my bed and sat on it, bouncing on the rock solid mattress. My blade was back under the bed from yesterday I didn't think I would be needing it again today. I laid back on the bed, my head on the softer pillow and looked at the ceiling. 

He knew. How long had he know? All along? Why did he tell me now? These questions were bouncing around my head, so I turned over and faced the wall to try and shut them out. This place was deadly silent, and the worst part of being in here was that you had time to think, and thinking was a dangerous place to go to. My hand supported my face on the pillow whilst the other dragged its fingers over the grey walls, everything was grey here. Even the food was grey. The texture felt rough and tiny bits fell off as my finger brushed. The smell of mould and damp filled my nostrils, being this close to the wall and not being asleep or unconscious was new. So I turned over again. This time my hand grabbed out the prescription and unfolded it once more. 'I know you're not Beth'. If he knew why was he not doing something, or was he doing something and that's why they were going to Miss Duncan, she seemed to be the site manager or the supervisor or something around here, maybe she could get me out. 'I know you're not Beth'. Why couldn't he have just said it allowed without all of this secrecy. Was this why he was looking shady as shite the last few days? It would explain a lot. But it wouldn't explain why I had a massive headache when trying to justify who these characters were-- again as I thought about it the pain crashed inside of my head. Great white waves of nails felt like they were dropping all over my head, pinching and stabbing at my brain. My hands came to my head in a sort of cocoon as if the feelings were outside. When they did the feelings stopped and all that remained was a memory of the feeling, which hurt just as much. What the hell was going on. 

There was a knock at the door and then a rustle of keys turning in the lock, I looked up to see my orderlies as usual coming to pick me up. We had developed a sort of bond, I would gladly get up, they wouldn't hold me so tightly. If that wasn't friendship then they need to think again about what it stands for. My body got me up and was then picked up some more again. All the white washed walls with modern lights were fading again and so was the stone linoleum underfoot, instead replaced by this new area of the building, drab and old looking. The same door as yesterday was in front of me again, they knocked, I watched. 

“Hello, yes come in, come in.” Delphine said, the orderlies were just about to drag me in but she stopped them with the door, looking to them and then staring at me. “Just her.” She said this was an air of importance, probably just asserting her place as the doctor and not just any old staff member. Delphine closed and locked the door behind me, slipping the key into her white lab coat pocket and then smiling at me. 

“How are you feeling today?” She asked, moving towards me, facing her back to the CCTV camera. I looked at it and then to her, her expression serious, a sudden change as if I was involved in a lie I didn't know I was telling. Out of her pocket she pulled some white card with writing on it. She displayed the first one facing towards me, and motioned for me to read it. Then she started talking. 

“I see you look very well.” – 'I am not who you think I am'. 

“The treatment must be working.” – 'We know you are not Beth.' When my eyes registered the word 'We' I frowned slightly and she caught it with her eyes gesturing me to act natural and listen to what she is saying. 

“Yeah, I feel better, headaches though..” --'Your name is Sarah Manning'.

“That's really good, I am glad to hear.” Her hand flipped through the cards each time she spoke. Then she realised what I had said, and flinched. “But they headaches, how would you rate them out of 5, 1 being mild and not really there, to 5 being severe?” – 'I work for Dr. Leekie'.

“Urrr..” I tried to read it and think about what to say. “Sorta a 4, they just suddenly come on.” – 'The treatment you used to have here is false, it is not helping you'. 

“Ok, well I shall have to see about what to do for that.” – 'They are removing your memories, replacing them with nothing'. When I read this my heart electrified, and I wanted to freak out, she could see the pain in my eyes and so gave me an apologetic look that comforted me, but reminded me to read. 

“They only started today.” – 'I am trying to put them back, repair you. This is why there is pain'. 

“Well what brings them on, stress.. ur, worrying?” – 'You will begin to remember more soon. You're stories have truth to them.' 

Once this message was computed in my head there was a slight pain far less worse than the rest and I could see myself, but it wasn't me, it was Beth on the train platform staring at me whilst her things were neatly stacked on the floor. In my mind I could feel the horror and shock when her body flung helplessly under the train and how my face turned away shielded by my hands. The horrible gut wrenching deadening sorrow I felt as soon as it happened, and how I could have prevented it. My mind came back to the present day, Delphine's face, the next card. What the fuck was going on. 

At this I had to think through everything again. “I think it might be being trapped in a room all day, being fed grey shite and then being taken here.” If I acted as if I hated it, it wouldn't look suspicious, or at least to me it wouldn't. My voice was suddenly horse and she saw the difference in me. – 'The clones are real people. Beth was a clone'. 

A part of me dreaded what the next card would bring. But there was no next card, she carefully put them back into her pocket and brought out a stop watch, walking around me to the laptop and setting up the machine once more. I stood there just for a second looking to the wall opposing me, there were a few rotten paper posters hanging about the place, but I couldn't make out what they were of. Before I could even rationalise what I had just read, before my head could even get around the importance and the implications of it all, Delphine had grabbed me by the hand and walked me over to the machine. My head was not working, I didn't know if it was refusing to take it in, or if what I had just been told was already in here somewhere. Either way I felt a bit numb and wanted to sit down. Thankfully this machine had a chair, she helped me put my face into the head rest and focus me on the screen. Before she turned it on, she looked at me in the reflection of the DYAD logo. 

“It's going to be ok, Sarah”


	7. Pill pushers and Twerkers

Part 7: Sarah Manning entry 004, 10th January 2013. 

“So you're my clone?” Sarah asked, her arms folded on the kitchen island of Beth's boyfriends apartment. Beth was just filling up a glass of water as she came over to the island. The gun in a holster in her hand was placed on the table, and she pulled herself elegantly up to one of the stools. Beth looked to Sarah, Sarah who still had yesterdays thick eye liner and mascara, smudged but not in a bad way. Sarah looked back to Beth, but it was just like looking at herself, at her future. As if this could have been her life. Beth had her DNA but she wore minimal make up or if she did it was very natural, light shades of her skin tone just to highlight her eyes, or a little lip gloss here and there. 

“Yes.” Beth said, her fingers tapping on her gun. She picked it up and took it out of the holster, Sarah leant back although she knew nothing was going to happen. Even though she had known Beth only a few days now, maybe a week it was still weird being around a cop. Especially a homicide detective, and then staying in her house. The gun in her hand was department issued, but she had chosen one a little different from the rest. “We call it a lady grip, it is easier to hold as a female, less blow back, more precision. The whole force should use these, but Art says there is nothing better than having a big black pistol in your hand.” She said the last bit in his voice, emphasising the innuendo. Sarah smiled a little bit, it was so weird. They were two totally different people. 

“What do you mean clone?” Sarah pushed her topic to Beth, who just looked up her expression pleasant and serious, friendly but hard worked. The gun was put back on the table. 

“I mean, we are not twins, there are more of us. I mean us as in our genetics out there living their own lives...Just remember you are still you Sarah. These other aren't you, they may look like you. Hold onto your identity ok?” Beth was calm, but she was not used to introducing clones to clone club. 

“So like we were all born from he same mum or something?” Beth still marvelled over Sarah's accent, it was so British she already she could see the Americanisms slipping into place. Of course Sarah came to this country when she was 12, and if the science is right if you have an accent up until you are 10 it's harder to shift. Beth looked to her gun and then back up smiling pleasantly. 

“Not quite. We are all from the same embryo.” Beth leaned over the island a little closer to Sarah who was now leaning back on her arms after getting over the gun. “There is an original, we aren't quite sure who she is yet but we know that there was the first embryo and that we are cloned from it. Through IVF we were born to different mothers.” 

“Holy shit.” Was all Sarah could muster, she picked up her glass of bourbon that Beth had made her and took a big swig. 

“You're damn right.” Beth said, sipping her water and looking briefly at a passing car from her town window. 

“How do you know all about this?” Sarah asked thinking it would be an easy answer. Beth tensed a little bit, unsure of where to really start. 

“It started when I met my boyfriend, Paul.” Beth gestured to the photos magnetised to the fridge, a happy brownish blonde haired man and Beth in each of them. She let out a deep sigh, preparing the story. He was devilishly handsome with a strong nose, hard jaw and soft line lips. Beth's finger grazed the surface of the gun and then held onto her glass. “He is ex-military, but I knew him before that. I do charity runs, half marathons that sort of thing--” Sarah laughed slightly. 

“How is this relevant to clones?” Sarah asked, marathons, what?Beth smiled back at her. 

“I'm making the case, I'll decide when I tell it.” Beth was suddenly stern but in a polite way, it seemed to be a trait Sarah also had. “Anyway, he did too and so we started to meet up for practice and then coffee and dates.. ect. We moved in, we got serious you know the whole relationship drama. But then it came to the point where things were becoming odd. In the night he would get up and go somewhere, or not be there when I woke up. Being a detective I borrowed some surveillance gear and put camera's around the house and in his briefcase.” Beth paused at how ludicrous this all sounded when she said it out loud, she gave an apologetic look to Sarah, but she was too interested to notice. “This is when I started to have hunches, I started noticing him watching what I ate, sometimes he would be at my office with 'lunch' and ask about my day. But these weren't relationship things because...when he was away in Afghanistan we exchanged letters.” Beth suddenly became cool in her words, her fingers gripped her glass a little more and she avoided Sarah's eyes. Her body lifting up on the stool a little. “And I told him that he had succeeded, I had fallen into his little trap and fell in love with the lion. But he suddenly didn't love me when he came back.” Sarah wanted to see the relevance but she couldn't at the minute, but she saw how this was hurting Beth just to recite even though she had probably done it before to the others. She offered her hand across the island to hold onto, but it wasn't taken up instead Beth just held onto her glass, taking a sip. Beth's mouth changed a little and she relaxed back onto her stool. “The point is I realised that there is no normal reason for a guy to not love you back in a relationship but also not leave. So I checked over the surveillance before he got back from his tour, after the letters. He had been having meetings with this guy with a weird name, Olivier, and I'd never heard of this guy before, he wasn't on Paul contacts under the same name, he didn't work with Paul he was a ghost. Then I got suspicious and followed him to this horrible club down town, totally not our style it as new wave rave sort of thing and I knew Paul did not like it either so it was something else. I put listening equipment in his bag and got Art to hack the security—Art is my partner—pretending it was case or something, he owed me one. Anyway, I found out that Paul was something called a Monitor, and gathered that he didn't know what for. So I hung around afterwards and this scientist guy came along, called himself a neolutionist or something. Anyway, he explained the whole clone thing to Olivier and told him if he ever spoke of this he would be killed.” Beth spluttered this whole story out, knowing that she could drag things on. But the whole time Sarah listened intently taking some more of her bourbon and drinking it absent mindedly. When she had finished she filled it back up and kept drinking. 

“What's neolution?” Sarah asked, trying to fit the pieces together. Beth hunched her shoulders. 

“Urr I don't know. I didn't get that far before Paul started acting weird again. I filmed myself being taken out of my bed in the dead of night, sedated and medically tested on!” She said this bit with zest and anger in her voice, a direct violation of her human and personal rights, all for the sake of science. Sarah's eyes widened and she took some more drink, the metal stud rings on her fingers clinking the glass. “And this didn't happen just once, it happened many times before I finally snapped. Obviously I couldn't tell Paul I knew, it would ruin everything, so I just kept digging. Eventually I found names, other 'subjects' who were being monitored, but it did not class the monitors. Records upon records in this office in the middle of a quarry I eventually tracked down just full of our data. I was going to destroy it encase Art found out or someone from the force, I was still coming to terms with it myself; but I couldn't they would know. Paul is away now at Cody's for a few weeks, we are going through a 'rough' patch. But he is just a lying piece of--”

“Hey hey!” Sarah came around the kitchen island and pulled up a stool next to Beth. Beth didn't move, she had practised and practised this story and each time it was hard to come to terms with. “It's ok man. Surely this can't be legal, human cloning is like unethical or something right?”

“Unethical, it goes against everything the scientific community has built up, it goes against thousands of years of religion and natural evolution. Don't even get me started on the legal side of things. I can't even just walk into my lieutenants office and tell him.” Beth turned her body to face Sarah. “These people are powerful, more than you could even imagine.” Beth jumped down from the stool, brushing past Sarah in her blue woollen jumper and grey skinnies, black socks on her feet and went to the bathroom. On her return she had a small orange pill tube half full with small white tablets. She pushed down and unscrewed the lid poured two into her hand and threw them to the back of her mouth, swallowing down with water. Sarah looked alarmed, as Beth just stood there taking them and sitting back down. 

“What the hell are those?” Sarah asked taking them from Beth's hand and looking at them herself. “Anti-depressants?” Beth looked up at her slightly ashamed. 

“It's a mix. SRI's anti-depressants, sedatives, mood enhancers...” Beth leaned on the counter top her hands supporting her head as she looked at the marble surface. Sarah looked from her, to the pills and back again an expression change in her voice. 

“Share-zies?” Sarah said, Beth waved her hand and she poured a few onto her palm, her finger pushing them about to check what was what. After looking she didn't care, threw 3 to the back of her throat. “Clones...what a fucked up world eh?” Sarah chewed the tablets just for a second, took another swig of her bourbon and put the empty glass back on the counter. “Who are the others?” Sarah asked immediately feeling something from what she just took, but it could have been placebo for all she knew. She was used to taking cocaine and weed, not this medical grade stuff. Beth laughed slightly but did not move her head from her sorry position in her hands. 

“Well, that's a question. They are all crazy bitches.” Beth pulled a stool from around the side to behind her and sat on it, her head in her hands again. “The first is called Alison Hendrix, she is the world biggest suburban soccer mom with two adopted mix raced kids, a high school sweetheart of a husband and a massive, secret, totally hardcore bottle hider.” Beth laughed at her own reality of this, where Alison hide alcohol, Beth hid pills in hills of paper work so that the force would never find out. “Total psycho, very territorial, but overly sweet and innocent. Not ignorant, but she loves to pretend she is constantly on top of things, especially where she isn't. This woman Aynsley is her 'best friend', more like nosey neighbour, it would not surprise me at all is Aynsley was her monitor.” Beth had gotten over her hardship slightly after taking the pills and sat up looking at her clone, looking at herself from a different universe. Sarah did pull off the punk rock look, all of the attitude and none of the politics. Sarah was listening intently to this description building up a picture of a woman in a bright pink tracksuit making her kids jog to school with their perfectly prepared lunches, which she made whilst swigging vodka straight from a flask. “The second I like more, we get along. We are both passionate in what we do, except she is a science major doing her doctorate in Evolutionary developmental biology at Minnesota. Her name is Cosima and she is different to the rest of us, even subarbie Alison. First off she has these amazing thick dreadlocks that she always wears up in a tie. Also she needs glasses but she wears these really feminine curved thick black rims. Oh and the nose ring. But the biggest feature is her scientific ability, absolutely amazing. We both had the same philosophy 'show dont tell' whenever explaining things.” In Sarah's head she had this picture of a stereotypical hippie with tie dye and dreads, walking around absolutely stoned with flower head band, but also wearing a lab coat with safety goggles over her glasses. Hot. “She's also bisexual, but don't bring it up if you ever meet her, she has this massive thing about it not being the most interesting thing about her, and that sexuality is a spectrum not a societal bias yada yada.” Beth had now stolen some of Sarah's bourbon and poured it into her now empty glass, smelling it slowly before drinking it. Although it tasted horrid, she swallowed and sighed just to have some more intoxicants in her body. Sarah pulled her arms together, and smiled a little, finally having some understanding of these people, these 'clones' of herself running around in this world. 

“So science geek and soccer mom, are there any like normal ones like us?” Sarah joked then realised, right here she had a detective addicted to prescription drugs, a hustler drifter who had been missing for 10 months, they weren't exactly normal. Beth had thought this two and gave her a look as if to suggest 'do you want to rethink what you just said'. They both laughed, but Beth carried on. 

“Next we have some Europeans, but they have been 'disappearing' recently, going off the grid, loosing all contact with us and now we have no idea if they are ok or not. My personal favourite is Katija Obinger.” Beth smiled at something she was reminded of. “She was funny, serious, dedicated to finding out more. But I think the last time I talked to her she was really ill. But as I said, I have no idea.” Beth drank some more bourbon before describing the last one. “Helena is the last one, she is different from the others. Family orientated, hard working, and will do anything to protect us...but she has one flaw. I mean all humans are flawed, that's what I found out when I went to that neolutionist club, but hers was her impulses. Like all of us we have impulses, hers is to kill, but in her head to protect. You have no idea the amount of times I have had to cover her back when she is trying to protect us. Sometimes people do come around and kill us.- Bummer!” Beth suddenly shouted, bring Sarah back to attention. Beth leaned closer over the table, a little intoxicated already whilst Sarah sat there watching her movements. 

“What is is?” Sarah asked, too leaning forward. 

“I've forgotten one huge part of this whole story.” Sarah looked at her confused. As if leaning about 7 other versions of herself wasn't the story enough. 

“What Beth spit it out.” Sarah frowned at Beth, wanting the story right away. 

“There are these people, radicals of religion, creationists, they call themselves Prolethians. Utterly and maddeningly devoted to the word of god, and so they hate us. Any human that is not born of gods gift is a child of Satan in there eyes. Guess what, we are clones! You see how this ties in.” Beth was laughing but Sarah did not see the humour. Beth caught on her face became serious. “Look, they are hunting us down, I think they are going to try to kill us. Helena had some trouble with them a few years back but they are dead now, at least we think. They tried to impregnate her, create more life. The leader this Prolethians was a man of science and faith, believing that a clone was the work of god, a work of miracle in science.” Beth's eyes widened and her hands were spread out to emphasise this. They tried to impregnate her! 

“That's shit, I'm sorry. Great so now we have religious crazy's on our back?”

“We are sure that they are dead, dipshit. One of them, Mark; he escaped, he was strong and strange and I've honestly never heard of anyone like him before.” Beth defended herself. Sarah was on edge again even with all of the alcohol she had in her body. A car came around the corner out side of her house and the lights shone across the whole room, illuminating for a moment and then darkness. They both realised that apart from the light underneath the kitchen cupboards reflecting on the other counter, they were sitting in total darkness. 

“Is that why you have the gun, right now I mean?” Sarah remember the lady grip on the counter and stared at it. 

“Yes and no. When you know the stuff I know it is hard to sleep at night.” Beth said plainly even with all of the heavy words in the sentence. Sarah stopped leaning on her arms and spread them out in front of her. 

“So I am one, but there is a few of us right, family too?” Sarah asked, Beth laughed and looked at Sarah expecting an explanation or something. Sarah just looked back at her blankly. 

“Oh god for a second there I thought you knew.”

“Knew what?” Sarah said, feeling as though this whole story thing was making her more confused than anything. 

“It's this stupid code Cosima came up with when we first got in touch, it's a way of telling which clones are in on it and which aren't. 'I am one. Just a few, now family too, who am I?” Beth recited, perplexed as to how Sarah had come so close before this now. Sarah just smiled awkwardly and watched Beth, who was by now hazy in her eyes from the meds and alcohol mixing in her blood stream. “But no we aren't family at least not in the social sense, we are completely different people, different mothers different lives, but the same genetics, get your head around that and then we can discuss family.” Beth finished off her glass of bourbon. It was getting late now she put it in the dishwasher along with Sarah's and walked to the bedroom. Sarah hung back, it was her first full day without interruption in Beth's apartment and it was just odd, plus she didn't know where to sleep. 

“Come on, you can share the bed if you want.” Beth carried on walking around the corner she was getting undressed, Sarah just slowly walked over there, checking out all of the rooms, the windows. The bed was a silver colour, plump silver pillows, silver sheets. But not a tacky silver a majestic and modern steely silver, it was Beth all over it. Beth was now laying on top of the sheets, pulling them out from under her and getting in. Sarah just watched and figured they were technically sisters, so this was ok, it wasn't like they were total strangers to each other. Sarah dropped her leather jacket to the floor and pushed off her boots, grabbing the sheets and getting under still in her jeans and clash tee. 

“The clash huh?” Beth asked. 

“I love the clash.” Sarah said watching the ceiling, it was a habit of hers when she needed to think. “Clones.” She said aloud again, just to make sure it wasn't a dream or something. 

“Yeah, just look at me that will remind you.” Beth put her hand up between them resting on her own elbow, Sarah took her hand and they laid there, hands intertwined just thinking and watching. Sarah was by no means at all the sentimental type but after your whole world is thrown upside down, it is difficult to become yourself again. 

 

When Sarah woke up her eyes needed to adjust so she laid there on her side, staring across the room to the draws by the door, to the bedside table with a digital alarm clock, to the lamp sitting beside it. Her eyes tried to focus on the lamp base, tried to see herself in it. But her eyes were still too tired for that. By now the morning sunlight had come through the sheer curtains of the window and reflected white in the mirror above the draws. Sarah turned onto her back and watched the ceiling as always, but this ceiling was completely flat and flush, perfectly painted with no visible strokes. Her hands came up to her face and rubbed it up and down, especially her eyes in some attempt to waking them up, she remembered her eyes liner that she still hadn't taken off and then stopped it. Her hand fell beside her, to Beth. But Beth was not there. Alarmed at this, Sarah's eyes woke and she turned to see the sprawled sheets where she had laid. 

“Great.” Sarah said, lifting herself up with her arms to a sitting position. “Beth?” She called out in hope that she was just in the other room. There was no reply. Sarah pulled her legs to the edge of the bed and rubbed her face again yawning, her arms stretching out into the air. With a push she lifted herself off of the bed and made her way to the bathroom, somehow she was out of the trousers and they were crumpled on the floor. Too hot? Either way she pushed on the shower button, jets of cool water spraying out into the bath. Slowly with a tired head she lifted her clash t-shirt off and slipped her underwear on top of it, before getting into the shower. The cool water poured over her and she rubbed it all over herself. Her hands flirted around the edge of the shower with her eyes closed under the water, trying to find some soap or shampoo or something. She found a bottle and opened her eyes enough to see that it was shower gel and squeezed out a load onto her hand, slapping it between both of them and rubbing it up her arms, her chest, her neck her torso to her legs. Quickly as it was put on it was off again, enough time for her to get clean. She washed her hair with some 2 in 1 and turned the water off. The sound of the jets seized and it was chillingly silent in the apartment. Her fingers wiped the water away from her eye lashes as she stood naked in the cold air, she hadn't closed the bathroom door as no one was in, but she felt a presence that words couldn't describe. That someone very bad was in the house, or that someone was watching her. She realised it might be the surveillance equipment that Beth had around the place that she hadn't actually seen yet that could be cause. With that she pulled back the screen and got out onto the soft plush floor towel letting the fibres shuffle beneath her toes. Her hand grabbed a towel and she began to dry herself with it, but she just couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. When she was dry she tied her hair on one side with tight French plats and let the rest fall around it. Her eye liner was off, so in the mirror she flicked on the vanity lights and found her make up. Applying the thick black paint her soul couldn't help but be dismal and scared. Her eyes flicked beside of her to check that nothing was wrong, in the reflection of the room behind her she couldn't see anything weird so kept applying make up. When she was done she slowly put the bits back in the bag and turned around to the empty room. 

“Weird.” She said out loud, there was a horribly thick atmosphere in the room. Her feet took her to her stuff and she pulled on some clothes, occasionally looking over to Beth's of the bed and around the room. Where the hell was she? It didn't matter, she needed to go see Felix her foster brother and the only way to get there now without car was by the metro. Shoving her feet into her boots and half doing them up, she fluffed her hair grabbed her bag and headed to the door. The bed wasn't made or anything but it didn't matter, it was Beth's flat. 

Outside the sky was grey, overcast threatening clouds ready to break at any minute floating above the buildings. Sarah just kept walking hoping to get to the station before it did break, her arms close to her tucked into her pockets holding her phone and apartment keys. Her boots cluncked on the floor and people visibly avoided her on the streets, this area of the city was very middle class, modern office workers housing and parkways. One man even gave her a look as if to say 'should have stayed in school and this wouldn't have happened' but she was outraged that he would just jump to conclusions like that, so she glared at him with all her force and he visibly jumped and walked the other way. When she saw the station on the corner she saw something in the distance a figure in red looking dress and blazer going into the station. There was no reason this person would stand out to her, maybe it was the colour, but Sarah suddenly felt some urgency to get to the station. Maybe something was up with Fe? She thought to herself, hurrying her step, thudding down the walk way to the entrance. Once she got there, there were steps to get down, not many people anywhere at all, probably just missed rush house. Sarah was thankful that she got there in time, as as soon as she touched the first step the rain fell behind her in great dramatic spots and then all at once. Feet quickly lifting and falling she found herself at the bottom of the steps, by the ticket office. She told the woman where she wanted to go, and with a doubting look of disapproval the woman printed and handed her to ticket in exchange for some dollars. Sarah shoved the rest of her money back in her purse and into her pocket, walking around hands again inside safely and looking for her platform. In the distance she saw the woman in red again, but she was going down to a different platform, it could have been fate to meet or something, but it was over now. She went down on staircase and Sarah the other. Although the station was outside, you still had to go down stairs to get to it, and then up some more and across if you got the wrong platform. Sarah jumped down the last step, and looked about, there were a few people on her's and so she walked around them finding the board with all the times. In the reflection of the dull morning light she saw a flash of red. Her head turned to look across the tracks and there was the woman in red, except it wasn't just any woman it was her, well not her, a clone. But not just any clone it was Beth and she was crying hard. Sarah squinted across again, recognising her face and wondering what to do. Should she go across and talk to her, but what if her train came and then she'd miss it. A train destined for Beth was in the distance, so she had to go now. Fuck the ticket, she though to herself and bounded back up the stairs, just getting a little bit of the rain on her face as the wind changed. People seemed to be everywhere all of a sudden, blocking her way up the stairs, making her have to wait and then pounce forward. This time no one seemed to be avoiding her, and her glaring eyes. Once she finally got to the top she looked to her left for the platform and started walking faster as she saw the train coming for the station. Her feet picked up pace and she missed a few steps. This time no one was on the stair case and no one was around on the platform except Beth. 

“Hey, Beth?” Sarah called out to her as she walked slowly over. By now Beth was still crying and taking off her blazer and shoes, putting them neatly on the floor next to her hand bag. Sarah thought this was very weird and so walked over, seeing the horrid expression of pain on her face. Paul maybe? “Oi” she called out again, still a little way from her. Her feet started to power walk and then jog as she saw Beth turn to her, her face full of hollowness, depressed relief, wet streams falling down her pale cheeks. Sarah noticed the train coming closer, the way Beth's face turned towards it, a small smile turning on her lips. As Sarah was just a few feet away, Beth stepped forward slightly. Train not stopping, wrong station, but it didn't matter Beth was acting as if she was about to board. Before Sarah could even think what was happening the trains load roaring engine broke the station entrance and a whirlwind was forming, Beth turned to Sarah once more before she leaped off of the edge onto the tracks. Before Sarah cold even scream the train crashed into Beth's body, slamming it against the front of the metal beast, wind whipping her bloodied and mangled head and pulling her under it with such a force the train didn't even budge as her body was crushed underneath. Sarah snapped her head and eyes away from the scene, her hands flying up to her head and her eyes wide. A deepened scream escaped her lips as workers and staff were suddenly crowding down the stairs to the station. Whistles, horns, screams were all ignited at once, someone had grabbed Sarah, pushing her back from the edge where Beth had just jumped. Disbelief of what she had just seen cascaded through her head, she couldn't think straight the image of Beth's small smile and desperate face haunting her as she stumbled back slighting into the sign by Beth's belongings. SHIT! She screamed to herself. HOLY FUCKING FUCK. Sarah's head was jamming with images, thoughts, horrible disbelief and disorientation. The workers in their high visibility yellow and orange uniforms and men with black conductor suits and strong whistles jumped to the floor with torches, searching for her body. There was a thick line of splatted blood along the side of the train which had slammed it's breaks on as soon as she had jumped and was stopped just short of the end. Without even thinking Sarah grabbed Beth's things, and stumbled her way to the elevator instead of stairs, ramming buttons with her knuckles and watching the sight disappear in front of her and the metal doors slowly closed around the scene.


	8. Friend or Foe?

Part 8: 

“Argh!” I sat up screaming in my bed, sweat was coming down my from hair line all over my forehead and above my top lip. My hand reached up and wiped it off and went back to supporting my position. The room was dark and what little moonlight could creep through the small window was trying very hard, but only illuminating the room as much as the emergency exit sign was above the door. When I regained my bearing in the hospital bed, my breathing started to calm down and my eyes could focus through the hazy mist of dust in the room. Frantically my eyes looked around, remains of what I had just seen in my dream were still here, the flashing torch lights, a blur of high vis followed my eyes along the wall. I blinked, once, twice. Then it was dark again apart from the moon light. My breathing was now steadied and I got myself out from the bedsheets and my legs hung over the side, touching my toes against the stone cold floor. My hands clutched at the edge too and I just sat there for a moment staring at the floor, trying to collect myself. 

I remembered. 

Beth was telling me that I was not alone. I mean that I was not just one person but that there were at least 8 of us, and I was the 'Sarah' version. The paper that I had written the story on was under my mattress, could I show Leekie? Who's side is he on anyway, he tells me he knows I'm not Beth for for 3 months keeps up the lie? What ever he was doing he better figure out a way out of this quickly. There were some footsteps outside in the hall, every 15 minutes there were checks, if you weren't asleep they would ask no questions, drug you and wait until you fell asleep again. It was a horrible cycle, one which I had learned very early on when I first got here. Quickly I jumped back into bed, laying on my back and pulling some of the covers over me, it was cold out and especially here where even the sun doesn't get to, so I supposed I would normally be wrapped up in cover. So that's what I did, just as the keys pushed into the lock and the torch came into life in my room. The torch! As the light glided over my eyes I could feel it pause, they must have noticed. My eyes were crying, in fact I felt ill, totally and properly sick to my stomach of what I had remembered yesterday. Who could I even tell? As the light glided back over me and out of the room I opened my eyes, waiting for the lock to turn and her foot steps walk away. When they did again I was sat up, this time cross-legged under the sheets. 

“Holy shit.” Was all I could muster up, all that was capable of coming out of me. My mind was going a little haywire again, my thoughts were confused and disorientated. But the dull ache of Beth's death was still there, I felt kinda numb. I couldn't even check the time, because there were no clocks, so god knows what time it was. A sigh escaped me, and I tried to place my memories. With what I wrote last night there has to be some sort of connection to my memories with the stories I wrote. Then I remembered that when we first started this writing shite Dr. Leekie had told me to use my subconscious, to 'delve into it' so maybe these were from it. Under my mattress I pulled out the rest of the stories I had written and began to flick through, licking my finger to get a better grip. Helena, Cosima, Alison, these were all real people, even the German one Katija, I just didn't know. Did Leekie?...I don't even know what he would do with this information. Something inside of me knew that Dr. E had nothing to do with this, the way that Leekie had changed when he came in, the way he avoided my eyes, there has to be something there. 

“What the fuck is going on?” I said aloud looking at my pages and realising that everything I knew was right in front of me and I had just forgotten it. 

Then it hit me. 

Delphine must be in on this too, our first session she was acting weird, though I had only met her once so I couldn't really judge. But before I didn't know what happened when I had treatment, but now I do. She had said some shit about a wolf howling, and now it still didn't make any sense. Something clicked in my head, my fingers took over and flicked through the pages to my first story. So what this all linked? I was right. My fingers pulled out the page and there it was, the character Rachel had said something; 'When the wolf howls.' and then in real life Delphine had said, 'The wolf is howling'. Holy shit. This has to mean something big, it just has to. Footsteps again coming from the corridor so I grabbed all of the papers shoved them under my pillow and laid back on it, closing my eyes. The same torch light came over my face, and this time the tears had stopped. As ever it fades over my eye lids for a second making everything blood red and then back to black. The light went away, the keys turned and the footsteps left. As if automatic I pulled myself back up and the papers too using the limited moonlight to see the black text on the grey paper. It was a link. Did this whole Rachel thing happen in real life, who the hell is Rachel? It must not have, as far as I knew I couldn't tell who this person was and Beth..Beth had not mentioned her when she introduced me to the clones. So maybe I just got the wires crossed. My legs moved to the edge of the bed and I quickly looked around, it was dark and the CCTV's camera's did have night vision but no one would be checking on my room, not with all the 15 minute patrols. In a moment I got up from my bed, lifting myself from the chair onto the solid desk bolted to the floor, trying to reach light. My arms stretched out above me, the papers folding with gravity, so I had to fold it a certain way so it stayed straight. But my short sight meant that I couldn't see it that clearly that far away and the dark didn't help. 

Then it occurred to me. 

This 'treatment' Delphine was giving me, I must have had a session the night before, or even a few hours ago but what that was, or how it happened or even what happened there was completely off the record in my head. I had no memory of it. But this is what happened when I had the first treatment, up until now a day later I couldn't even remember it, but now I do. My mind prayed that I remember what she said, something felt like it was important in my head. Delphine was also in my story and if my subconscious was anything to go by I had probably met her before, but when or how I couldn't recall. My fingers flicked to the story 'Evo-Devo' and saw the Cosima and Delphine connection. Did I even know about Cosima and Delphine, was that a thing? The way I described it and how I knew what sort of things she was doing, and the brief case, I must have known something. I gave up on trying to read and just knelt down on the desk, looking at the occasional flash of red from the CCTV. My head rested back on the concrete wall, and I looked at nothing. It was really fucking with my head, all of this forgetting and remembering. This must have been something to do with the other treatment, why was I suddenly remembering stuff now that Delphine was around..

Clashing hurricanes shredded through my head, my hands softening the blow; holding my my face, as the pain surged through like an electric bolt. Again my breathing intensified and all I could do was wait out the headache, before it would go. But this time it was really hard. The hurricanes inside, kept coming back for more and it was like a sharp shooting of everything at once. Thousands of needles being pressed into my scalp at different frantic times. Then it was completely still. The only thing I could compare it to was what I had heard about Epileptic fits, but I had never had one so had no idea. As I recovered, I heard something form somewhere and some quick footsteps. Before I could figure out what the something was I had jumped down loudly and hopped into bed, showering the covers over me and closing my eyes..but there was no lock and torch, just silence as the footsteps disappeared. Slowly and then at once I was up on my arms, looking at the door. There was nothing there, no lights or movement. Not that I could see, the thick steel was not exactly transparent. A small light thin object was just at the rim of my door, a note or something? From here I couldn't really tell exactly what it was, so I carefully pulled back the covers, put my tip toes on the floor and stealthily walked over to it. With an agile fluid movement I squatted down and touched it. It was a piece of paper, and it didn't seem to have anything on it. My fingers pried it up from the dust clad floor and flipped it over. 

'Dr. E is having your next session. Morning this time.' 

Was this Delphine or Leekie? By the way it was phrased using session and not treatment I assumed it was talking about the therapy, in which case I could not show him my recent short story. I would have to make a new one just in case he asks for one. Who ever pushed this under my door, was either saving my back or deliberately confusing the situation. Too hide it from view of the camera's which I could hear were buzzing and following me around the room, I quickly shoved it up my sleeve and stood up, avoiding their coercing gaze and got back into bed, stuffing the stories further under my mattress followed by the note. This time I would have to sleep, the next 15 minute check up was coming. 

 

All I could dream about was what I was forgetting, so it was a dull dream because I couldn't remember. Or at least that is what I think it was telling me; it was a strange dream. In it I was laid in my bed here with my eyes closed and there was this sort of whoosh or wind all over me, and when I opened my eyes it was completely white everywhere. Because it was white I freaked out, wondering what the hell was happening. Eventually after walking in this whiteness for what seems like hours or even days, I could see these figures in the distance, and they were coming so close so fast, as if running and I was still walking. When they reached me they were these horrible creatures, what they looked like I dont remember, but they scared the hell out of me, so in my dream I ran back, hitting the foot of my bed. When I realised that I hadn't been walking for days, and I was still by my bed, the realisation made me wake. Whatever it was about it didn't matter, so I grabbed some clothes from one of the drawers in my desk and changed myself from my grey jumpsuit pj's. Deliberately I 'accidental' dropped my clothes and went to pick them up just under my bed, getting the blade I kept there and put it in my sock, quickly looking around with my eyes to make sure it looked innocent, and finished getting changed. Just as I zipped up the long silver metal, the door was opening. 

“Back of the cell Childs!” I'm not Childs. A woman called out, my eyes glared at the door, as I walked backwards and pressed myself against the wall. The woman entered in a white coat, she was quite small and wore a silver necklace over a black generic low cut t-shirt and work trousers. In her hand she had a clip board with a sheet of paper on it, two orderlies waiting at the door behind her. Slowly she walked over, careful of my stillness in case I would jump her or something. As she got closer, I flinched just slightly and she jumped back with a small gasp, a smile forming on my face. 

“Write your order, Childs, no messing around.” This woman was too British, and there was something in how she used to talk to me that made me think she believed my story. Of course a Brit would know another Brit. Although Britain was a huge place, and she must be from England, the north or something. Today she was out of her usual friendliness, something had set her on edge. I was on edge too, everything seemed to be getting very weird very suddenly these days. With the small blunt pencil I scratched my food order for the day and handed it back to her. She didn't take my hand straight away, with this I got angry and thrusted it back at her, she took it and scurried back out of the room. She seemed to fit the stereotype, small white middle class woman who thinks she is better, but when it comes to it scurries away like a rat. The door closed behind her, the lock and keys turning and footsteps until the next room down. Just then before I even had a chance to move from my position another note came under the door. With my now rested eyes I could see it straight away and walked very carefully over to my desk, pushing some of my plain paper to the floor, I bent down, squatting to pick the pieces up, slipping the new note underneath them. Even though they had 100% of this room covered, one thing they couldn't do was read very clearly, so quickly I grabbed a very soft rubber pen (they would only allow these things to patients, not hard plastic or anything that could harm) and scrawled something on a piece, I sat on my bed apparently reading or looking at what I had just done, but my fingers slipped the note to the top of the pile and my eyes began to read. 

'Just one, I'm a few, no family too. Who am I?'

As the words registered again there was a massive slashing of assassinating knifes coming down on my brain, feeling like the blood was rushing out of my skull. Hands instinctively fell to my scalp, dry. But the pain was stopping now, instead of instantly or dragging on, this time it decreased slowly to a dull ache at the back of my head. When I came back around I realised that 1, the words on this were in the story I had written last night and not even shown anybody yet. And 2, that this was the specific phrase clones used for other clones to see what they knew. My eyes frowned at the note, it was typed so I couldn't even tell who it was written by, there was nothing else just these words lined right along the middle of the sheet. Beth? But Beth was dead, I remembered that now. So who else could it be? Suddenly as if the memory had slotted back into my head taking it's rightful place I first had flashes of a dark room, an old door, a white lab coat, a screen with the DYAD logo. My head shook to the sides to try and get it clearer. Some part of me knew what these were, what they meant, but the hemisphere of my brain just couldn't put the two together. Then I had images, more a sensation of some one pulling me with my arm; my hand touched the spot whilst my eyes were still closed, sat knees up on the bed against the wall. Next there were words floating around my head, 'clones' 'Leekie' 'We know you are not Beth.'... who knew I was not Beth? Leekie? Maybe my memories were getting mixed, but the image in my head was definitely writing and not just a scribbled note on a prescription which I still needed to collect. My eyes flickered left and right, up and down, scrubbing against my inner eye lid. Just as the whole memory was about the fit back into place there was a loud boom (knock) at the door, and my eyes shot open, looking straight to it as the keys were punched in. Hectically I shoved the papers upside down on my pillow and began to stand up. Dr. E. walked into the room, motioning his hand up, telling me there was no need to stand. Great! My head hadn't quite settled down and images were flashing over the real one of him standing there in his coat. 

“Good morning, Childs. I'll be personally taking over your session today. Unfortunately Dr. Leekie is away for the time being.”. He said, not looking to me, but at a note pad in his hands, Dr. Leekie's, flicking through details of the sessions. I looked to his face, to the pad to the door, all confused and wondering why he had come here to my room to tell me this. Dr. E looked up, only briefly just to make sure I was still there and looked back down again mumbling something. My ears were only so good at picking up sound, but this was impossible, his fat chin was stopping is mouth opening properly when he looked down at the pad. My eyes drifted to the door again, still open and no orderlies were around this time. Before I could even want to run my cynical mind stopped me, it could be a trap. It was so DYAD. 

“Ok we have a session as Leekie calls it now, I am personally escorting you.” He put the pad somewhere in his coat and came closed to me on the bed, I flinched, personal space invasion. Something changed on his face and he stepped back, holding out his hand to help me up. I didn't take it, instead sliding to the edge of my bed, pulling on my pumps, securing the blade and walking to the door. Dr. E pushed ahead of me and grabbed me by the arm. I just took it as he lead me out into the wide hall. Another orderly running in to change my sheets and cleaning up. He walked a little slower than the orderlies I was used to and so he didn't drag, I had time to look at the place and not at the flashy floor. This time I noticed the other rooms, at least 10 other rooms/cells around my area, all with the same thick steel cased door. I didn't envy them. He pulled tighter on my arm, my face went to his to protest, but he was only checking his watch, his collar sweating slightly and I could smell the horrid stench. As my mouth was opening to cough it away he whispered something. Whatever it was I didn't catch it so looked to him to replay the message, his eyes widened and he sealed his lips. As if once was enough, or that he didn't mean to say it out loud. Whatever it was, his arm loosened a little as a huddle of doctors walked past all chatting about something medical, genes or something. We hadn't got very far, this time I could really understand where Leekie's office was, I had no bearings of this place, no idea where anything was. They just dragged me around everywhere or locked me in my room for hours, there was no socialising or freedom for a murderer. Even though I did not kill her. 

The words on the note were still at the back of my head. One just a few no family too...it was all so strange. Half of me hoped that this place, just being here had not made my head soft and I was imagining this. But I couldn't tell now as the note was still on my...Shit! I thought to myself, as I did I paused walking so Dr. E shunted me along. The maid would be changing my sheets, what if she saw? But then what would she think of it anyway, just a mental case's musing. Hopefully she would ignore it, chuck it in the bin or leave it. We came to a set of glass doors with a buzzer to open it and no handle. We waited for an orderly to get up from their post, come out of their office and unlock the door. They took a meal of it, in a black suit, too official to be an orderly. The door opened none the less and he pushed me through smiling to the guy. Whereas I glared at him, the man ignored it chewed, no, popped his gum and walked back. Soon we came to another set of doors, a fire exit at either side of them. The orderly inside was taking so long to even recognise that someone was there, he sat on the phone staring at us through the window hatch. Dr. E stood uneasily, tapping on the window to make him move and huffing about it. My eyes wondered over to the doors, looking through them to the snowy grey outside. January snow. My eyes looked then to my small pumps that wouldn't be much help out there. Eyes wondered back up to the orderly inside who had now turned around and was still talking on the phone. Dr. E was quickly loosing his patients, his heavy smoker breathing increasing with each second. He let go of my arm momentarily to tried and push the double doors, to see if the guy had already unlocked it or something.. As he did I choose my opportunity. 

First I moved running, hitting the bar down on the emergency exit and charging out of it, into the cool frosted grounds. Hard chilled air hit my face and took my breath away from the warmer inside I was used to. Before I could adjust to it my feet were already pushing hard and me faster over the ground. A big centre of grass, snow falling slightly down onto the contrasting green. My head didn't turn just focused on this part all the way across from me, the only exit that wasn't guarded. Dr. E had only realised when I was already away. This place was in the outskirts of the city, but literally just outside, close enough to escape to to hide. Dr. E called behind me screaming my Beth's name into the frozen air, and the orderly that was sitting there must have been chasing behind me because I could hear footsteps and commands. The way he said Beth's name sent a chill down my spine, thinking of her face made my stomach drop and I just kept running. The courtyard must have been the size of a football pitch in length and I was not fit after months of sitting around. A great stitch pulled in my side and I cried out, pulling through it to run faster, the pain only made me more urgent to get out. My feet were soaked, my thin pumps melting the ice into my socks. There was an arch in the old stone building (modern inside) so I spilled through it, through the building way, two doors either side. I was not going inside. As long as I didn't leave the grounds with them on my tail they would not sound the alarm, as to not disrupt the other patients, so as long as I stayed clear of them it was easier for me to run. Just as I cleared the arch way into another courtyard my eyes couldn't believe it, there was another courtyard. I didn't know my way around but it should not be this big. There was a flash of white, then a stumble and I crashed to the floor, spread onto the hard frozen grass, slicing up my face.

“Fuck!” I cried out, leaning up feeling the sizzling sting from my grazed arms and chin. What ever happened I got back up, but then I realised someone else was in the collision. Delphine was stood up too no worse for wear. Her face was alarmed, shocked, out raged. She grabbed my arm looked around and pulled me back to a door beside the arch way. Just as it closed the orderly broke through the arch into the second court yard, breathing heavily and seeing his breath turn to steam around him. His ears and nose were red and he stopped in his tracks, hands on waist looking around for me. Delphine had pulled me into some kind of storage room, or something for the grounds keeper as it was chock full of lawnmowers, rakes, hoes, wheel barrows and a long unkempt hose pipe sprawled around the place. 

“What are you doing?” Delphine commanded in a whisper, struggling to keep me still and in the dark small room with her. I looked to her, whatever side she was on she was still a doctor and therefore an enemy. As my breathing slowed my stitch did not, and I leant over in agony my hands caressing my stomach. Delphine leant down slightly to my aid, but it felt as if she was going to grab me and hand me over to the people. Quickly without really thinkng my hands felt for my sock and pulled out the blade, jumping back up pinning Delphine against a wall full of tools hung up, the blade to her neck. Her warmth breath heated my face as her eyes begged me not to hurt her. Our breathes matched, intense and warm against each other. I could feel the wild instinct of survival kick in, but something was blocking me, paralysed to staring at her. Her body writhed underneath me so I shoved my lower body into her, pressing her down.   
“What the fuck does it look like.” I spat at her. I really wanted not to hate her, but she worked here, she worked for them and I was trapped in here with her. My fingers held the small warm metal between then against her neck, the skin so close ready to break with just a dig. Then it happened. My body was thrown back my head feeling like someone had made it out of ice and shattered it onto the ground. My mouth wanted to scream but I suppressed it staggering down to the floor beside a wheel barrow. The metal contacting me in the back and burning my senses around it. Everything hurt as my ass felt the cold stone filter through my jump suit. I buried myself into my knees and waited for the pain to go. Then I realised that I was so fucking cold, shivering in the shade. I remembered what had happened in the second treatment session; she had told me she knew who I was, that I was a clone, that there were others, that my stories were true. She knew more than me. Who the fuck was she?

Delphine stood against the wall her hand on her neck watching me. When the pain stopped I still sat there, waiting for her to make a move. All she did was stand there, carefully looking out of a small window like my own in the corner of the cobwebbed dark room straining her neck. I looked up at her from the floor. She obviously didn't resent the fact I was about to kill her and just waited. My legs dropped from their position to rest flat on the floor my hands falling between my legs, head dropping. With her hand still on her neck rubbing it slightly Delphine came and knelt before me. 

“Are you trying to escape?” She whispered to me, raised voices would mean detection. There were footsteps running around outside, coming closer and closer! Then fading away. This was probably the only place that didn't have CCTV, if it did Delphine as well as myself were fucked. I looked up to her a sour expression on my face. 

“Yes!” It was a duh moment, but she didn't change her serious and worried expression. 

“You are very cheeky.” Was all she said, her mind clearly focused on what was outside of our meeting then on myself. I pushed her back as I went to lean forward, suddenly a shoot of pain cracked through my back alarm shredding through me. What the fuck, my hand went behind my back, feeling a soar and tender spot from where the wheel barrow had hit me. “Soon they will see that they dragged you in here, Sarah.” The way she said my name ignited something in me, something deep and buried, hope. It still shocked me a little how strong her French accent was, but not in a stereotypical way, enough to know she was French but American enough to be legible. 

“And they will realise you helped me, why?” I asked her trying to ignore the pain from my stitch back and throbbing from my head. It smelled like old mowed grass in here, and bits of grass did line the floor from previous cutting. Delphine bit her lip. 

“I need to get you out of here, but not like this. Did you get Dr. E's message?” She looked around again, running out of options in her head. 

“What do you mean?” I asked seeing the expression and held back frustration. 

“Dr. Leekie and I were trying to get you out of here. But he has been compromised--”

“Compromised?” I cut in, what the hell did she mean. 

“They say he suffered a heart attack but I really don't know.” She leant in closer to me, probably cold herself. 

“He's dead!?” I shouted out, her hand whipping to my mouth covering it so I couldn't speak her face hysteric with anger, but silent understanding. A few charging footsteps came by paused and went off again. I stopped speaking and she released my mouth, I realised my mistake. 

“Yes.” Delphine said her eyes looking down to the floor. There was evidently more to their relationship than colleagues. “Miss Duncan announced it this morning.”

“But Dr. E told me he was away?”

“There are lots of stories circulating, one will be proved true, but I think they killed him.” Who they were and why I was trusting Delphine was beyond me, but in my pain I would just have to sit and listen. Delphine motioned for her to get a look at my back, so I leant forward, stitch now gone and unzipped the front of my jumpsuit, pulling it down over my bare shoulders, her cold hands running over me. She looked just for a moment, her fingers working over the area I fell back on, it hurt and I flinched, so she pulled back. I zipped back up and shivered. She saw my distress and stood up walking somewhere in the small room and coming back with a big coat, a brown one this time and not a white one. “This is where I go when I need privacy, this is where I had just come out of when you ran into me.” It made sense now. 

“They are after me, they are going to come looking for me.” I said, watching the door, the light coming from underneath it, the window and back to her face. 

“It is going to be ok.” This reminded me of when she had said it the first time, when I blacked out straight after. A second passed. I was still conscious. Her hand was filtering to her pocket, pulling out a phone with a neon pink casing to it. My eyes widened but I said nothing, she was looking down. That was the phone from my stories, or reality. I guessed it must have been reality. Her fingers tapped on the phone's small key pad, texting something, it sent and she locked the screen holding it in her hand. Delphine looked at me, thinking something in her head. I looked back into her scheming eyes but all that was racing through my head were the orderlies outside and getting out of this place. The phone turned on its screen and began to ring, Delphine instinctually answered it, the phone pressed to her ear. 

“Yes. She is here with me.” Delphine bit down on her lip again, her face slightly flushing pink under her skin. Blushing? “Uh huh.” She poised the phone for me to take it, I took it looking at her face and put it to my ear. 

“Yeah?” I answered, staring into her eyes. It was the weirdest thing, hearing your own voice talk back to you. Weird because you made no conscious decision about what was said, how it was said, when, where, why. It was such a strange feeling hearing it in another accent than your own. 

“Hello!” The woman said back to me. “We are trying to get you out.” 

“Well you'll have to try hard, at least 100 orderlies around here, electronic guarded doors and about a million CCTV's cameras.” 

“That's complex.” I looked to Delphine again, mouthing 'who is this'. Delphine smiled very briefly and replied in the same way, 'Cosima'. My eyes widened, this was all becoming real. “But we have it covered don't worry.” How the fuck were they going to get me out of this mess. “I've got maps up of the hospital, blue prints if you like, that way I can lead you guys out of the building. You just need to be my eyes on the ground. Or rather under ground, you are going underground.” Somehow I didn't think she meant in a well lit and clean tunnel. “Can you give me back to Delphine-” The way she said Delphine was a little off as well, maybe they were a thing and Beth had told me about it somehow. “I just really needed to hear your voice. British, how cool!” I hated it when people called me British, I was from Brixton in England. England, not the whole of Great Britain. Whatever, I gave the phone back to Delphine and crossed my arms around myself, hoping the coat she had given me would warm me up. Delphine was still squatting in front of me, thighs of steel maybe? She was nodding looking at nothing with her eyes as she listened. 

“Ok...Yes... Are you-- ok. I just hope it works...31—31 what?...Ok..I will keep you open on the line. We shall make our way now.” Delphine looked to the floor. She mumbled something and it made her smile and for a moment I forgot that I was making a break from a multi million dollar medical facility. All in a days work it seemed for Cosima who wasn't at all worried. Delphine slipped the phone into her pocket, threading an attached earphone set up her lab coat and to her ear. She kept one piece out to hear around her. A communication line; I noted the microphone part on the wire. Without a word she got up, careful not to make a sound as voices started to shout from outside in the distance. One bit at a time she started to pull tools and machinery back from one side of the wall barricading the door it seemed. I went to get up to help, but the way I am bent hurt too much to straighten out. Delphine gripped the handle of the wheelbarrow and pulled it back, as she did there was a small fall of metal things, clanging to the floor and then silence. She froze, we both did, hoping to god no had heard it. Her head turned to the small window but form here she could not see anything. My eyes focused solely on the space beneath the door, if the light was broken someone was outside, I thought. Delphine restarted lifting the wheelbarrow, shifting the tools inside of it slowly to the floor, then she slotted it under the door handle not letting it pull down to open. Soon I couldn't see under the door anymore, so had to hope no one was there. My eyes looked over to her, she had cleared a patch of the room for some reason I didn't know, and I couldn't really see. With a giant push I tried to get up, only getting onto one knee before I had to pause, trying so hard not to let out a sound. Delphine hurried over helping me up with a arm supporting me around my back, soothing the pain. My eyes closed whilst it happened, once I was up they slowly opened. With a small tug she lead me over to the place she had cleared, dust all around us, thick with natural decay and rot. What she had done was uncover a hatch, well it looked like a hatch, something circular in the floor with a handle that could be lifted up. 

“I see it.” Delphine whispered receiving directions from Cosima in her ear. Her body paused, then she dropped to the floor brushing the dust off of it and twisting the handle up. It wouldn't open straight away, she stood up, put her legs either side of the door, squatting down with a straight back. In a agonising pull, the hatch opened up with a pop, puffing dust from around the rim up. I looked down it into the dark abyss. 

“Down there.” I asked her looking sceptical, I was used to dirt and living rough. But going down old dark tunnels where it looked as if no one had been in a while wasn't my idea of fun. Now it was opened Delphine grabbed items and stacked them around the hatch hiding it from anyone that managed to get in, all except for a space for us to get in. She motioned for me to come closer. Before I did, I lifted my hands above my head and stretched out. The bruise hurt but it was getting better as long as I was working it. When I finished then I walked over, getting a look of encouragement from her. I stood on the rim looking down, it was dark and smelt old and rotting, but if it meant getting out, however they had planned I would do it. I turned in my spot noticing the ladder on my side and bent down, one foot first and then the next. Delphine was looking around and so I stopped, she grabbed something out of view and handed it to me, a torch. I put it in my mouth and turned it on, holding tight onto the slightly wet metal and I lowered myself down. Delphine bent down too, as soon as I was far enough down, lowering her footing. Just as she was getting in there were voices from outside the barricaded door, getting closer. She pulled herself down quickly and moved objects around the hatch hiding its frontal position. Then she let the lid drop silently into the dust. A bit of dust fell down onto me as my hands were holding the rungs. I shook it off and reflected the light slightly onto the edges of the tunnel down. It was a relatively large space, enough for it not to feel horrifically claustrophobic but not exactly relaxing. Delphine's feet were catching up with me so I sped up, suddenly feeling solid ground beneath me. Without really looking at all I just let go and dropped down onto it, getting out of the way of Delphine. She dropped down to, looking like an odd super hero in her outfit of lab coat, tight short skirt and black patterned tights with slight heels. Slight heels were also not very good for this sort of thing. I looked to the floor, squelching in the wet mud. There was a draft down here, but at the same time the air felt thick and solid, like there wasn't much oxygen. Delphine adjusted herself and asked for the torch, I gave it to her spit and all and she shone it around. It was a like a sewer tunnel without the sewer. Great green plant life was clinging to the round edges, dripping a foul smelling liquid to the floor, moss everywhere, and it was pitch black aside from our one strand of light. 

“We're down.” Delphine said, still whispering. There was a whirring of machinery or something coming from above. Apart from therapy, treatment and my room I didn't know the place at all so we could be under anywhere. At least it wasn't as cold down here as it was up in the snow. Delphine seemed to be given a direction, her torch floating around the green muck along the roof. Her hand went up, only about a foot above her and started to dig around in the plants. It made me feel a little sick seeing all of the wet mud slide down her hand to her wrist and exposed arm from the stretch. But she was pulling plants out, and revealing an arrow to the nearest exit. With a nod to herself she said; “I've seen it-” then turned to me. “Come on.” Then she set off, I stood there for a moment in my jumpsuit and brown coat, soaked through shoes and a cold coming on, then followed. Carefully as if somehow she knew exactly where she was going Delphine charged ahead, walking briskly in the slush. I was more afraid of slipping up, but followed, we were escaping after all. Soon the hatch was well behind us, and it felt like we had been walking for hours. Delphine was mumbling or whispering something into her microphone, and smiling ahead. I could just see her face in the way she held her torch but not the rest of her. Everything apart from what was directly in front of us was a dark mystery. My foot slipped slightly and I felt both ways as my legs split from each other. Delphine spun around and caught me, but it was a good thing not a bad thing as whatever was wrong with my back seemed to click into place and I felt a lot better for it. But we were still down here in god knows what and half the hospital were probably still after me, actually Beth. Delphine stopped and I sort of fell into her in the way, she didn't budge and just looked up the tunnel. 

“What do you mean!?” Delphine asked into the air, not keeping her voice quite anymore, we hadn't been under any more hatches so that had either been the last on the tunnel or the only one. So where did this take us out? I realised then that I had just blindly followed this woman who I had only met twice and on the third occasion I was having crazy headaches about, and writing lesbian short stories about her. The last part I should probably not tell her about. Delphine, kept walking and put her hands to her head whispering something in French. “Ok ok, just hurry up.” Delphine flicked something on her phone in her pocket and turned to see me. “Are you alright?” Delphine's face seemed tired and worried all of a sudden. It wasn't like she didn't have a right too. I just had no concept of danger, as evident in that I wasn't even worrying about the police and god knows who else would be waiting when we got out. I smiled to her. 

“As ok as I'm going to get, surrounded by filth in a stuffy tunnel with a French girl.” 

“So absolutely amazing then, French women make everything better.” Delphine turned back again and looked ahead. There was a very small light in the distance, but knowing my eyes it was probably a water droplet reflecting light very close to my face and I didn't even realise. The torch light dropped lower to the floor and then stayed there; there was no point pointing it into the middle distance, just a few feet in front was enough. There was an awkward silence between the two of us, there was so much I wanted to ask her but I didn't just want to hear it, I wanted to see it too, to understand that whatever she told me was going to be real. I had already had the shocking pleasure in hearing Cosima speak for the first time, she sounded like nothing I could have ever imagined when I wrote the story about her. She was very different from me, a cheery positivity in her American tone, as if what was happening wasn't a massive drama just a blip. I couldn't resist I needed to ask her at least something. 

“Why are you helping me?” That was my first question. I didn't realise it would be so loaded. She didn't respond for a second just looking to me. In just a second she stopped in her tracks turning to me and lifting her sleeve presenting on her muddied and a tattoo close to her wrist it was an animal or a dog or something. With her thumb she rubbed some of the dirt off and it became clear to me, a wolf. The she rolled down her sleeve and kept walking. 

“This is a wolf. It's sort of our insignia. Like our phrase it's a way of knowing who is already in on it.” Delphine explained looking away, her footing not missing a beat. 

“What is this massive 'it' everyone is talking about, what is 'it'. Why are there clones.” This was the most obvious question but it had eluded me. She laughed slightly. 

“If I knew all of the answers I would probably regret asking the questions.” Suddenly and for no apparent reason my head was spun back to Felix, Kira, Miss S and his apartment, could I go back to him after this, they would still be after me and that's where they 'caught' who they thought was Beth. “...All I know is that DYAD helped make you.” My stomach dropped and I felt empty instantly. 

“DYAD, made me?!” I didn't understand. DYAD was a mental hospital nothing more, right. There was nothing more to this place than a building to keep patients in and everyone else out. In my 3 months I had just been receiving sessions, food, 'help' for Beth' issues. 

“DYAD is a lot bigger than just a hospital. It is really difficult to explain and personally I do not know why or 'who' exactly created you, but we do know that DYAD is involved in protecting you. It is like an umbrella term for lots of corporations all around the globe, some mental facilities, schools, universities and also scientific and medical research centres.” Delphine slowed her pace slightly, all of a sudden we were in no rush, in fact she had slowed since the last contact I had heard her have with Cosima. 

“So DYAD did human cloning or something?” I was trying to get my head around it. 

“This is the problem, we have all heard and been told different things concerning your creation. Sorry for the term--” I wasn't that offended but it was a new one, better than saying your parents shagged. “-I have been told that it wasn't actually DYAD that created you but people within DYAD who have been infiltrating it for years, working to the top of the ladder and taking control. They call themselves Neolutionists. Leekie was one of them.” Her head lowered slightly. The dude could be dead and she did not know how, that must really suck. To me he was a creepy bastard. The word though, it stuck with me. Something Beth had said the night before, when she was explaining her side of the story. She had said something about going to a 'new wave' club or something that was so not her scene. This phrase she used seemed to fit into it somehow, like she had told me but I just didn't record it down on paper. Neolutionists...Leekie?

“Wait, who are the neolutionists.” 

“They are these evolution fanatics, believing that it is a human right to have self directed evolution, to be able to adapt and create yourself, evolve into how your want. I like to think I like the idea, but then I am a little invested.” What did she mean by that?

“So Leekie was a Neolutionist, but he works for DYAD, maybe he knows something?”

“Knows something?-” She laughed “He knows everything, he knows about the clones, the 8 we know of so far—the real issue here is DYAD itself, Leekie isn't the head it's--”

“Miss Duncan.” I finished. Although I had never seen her, I had seen the way people talked about her and acted when they spoke her name, she must not exactly be the nicest person. We were still walking and I could feel the sludge between my toes. 

“You know her?” Delphine asked a little alarm in her voice. 

“No.” I quickly replied. “I have just heard about her, she's everyone's boss there.” I declared acting as if I at least knew something. 

“Yes. She essentially runs everything. She has never met you? Or seen you in person?” There was an urgency in her voice again and she picked up the pace. 

“I don't think so, she may have seen my file or something when I came in?” Delphine let out a sigh of relief and slowed down again. 

“No no, the orderlies do that sort of thing. Your file probably hasn't been out in months. Is there anything else they document on?” I tried to think for a second, this morning had gone so quickly I don't even remember. Somehow things like that really didn't make a big deal in my head compared to clones and corporational conspiracies.

“Leekie used to keep a diary, but Dr. E had it this morning.” Delphine seemed to realise something. 

“Oh good! Did you get Dr. E's message?” The first time she asked me this I was too worried about getting caught than what Dr. E had said. 

“What message?” I asked confused all of a sudden. 

“You..but you came through the arch way?” Delphine was saying words as if something would click in my head, but this time there was no pain or suddenly revelation, I just had no idea what she was on about. “We had planned that he would give you the message to run to the arch way and find me.” 

“What?” I repeated. Confused. What was this, was this even an escape? Who the hell was Dr. E I thought he was not in on this. 

“Hmm.” Delphine murmured, stopping and looking to me. “It must have been subconscious. You know you are a psychologists dream, everything in your subconscious seems to have effect very prominently in your life.” What was she on about. 

“So is Dr. E in on this too?” I asked, she was stood right in front of me in the pitch black, the torch firmly pointed at the floor. 

“It is not who is in on it Sarah, it is who helps and who doesn't. He has no idea about anything, on a need to know basis. He was just told to escort you to the second double doors and tell you to run when you got there. Obviously you didn't get that or he didn't tell you, but you're here now.” I had a feeling this whole thing was bigger than what it was in my head. 

“But why break me out, why get me out of here. Couldn't you just leave me?” Delphine touched my arm with her hand, she had a thing about that. 

“Please do not take this offensively, but we don't know you. All we know is that you are a clone too, and you took Beth's identity. Although that is not cool, at all--” She sighed. “It's only right, you didn't kill Maggie Chan. Beth did and I guess we will never know why.” There was a sorrow filling both of us as she said this. “Come on it's not much further now.” Her hand fell from my arm to her pocket and she produced the phone again. I got a small excited feel in me as if my story was coming to life. “Cosima?” Delphine said into the air and kept walking. I followed just behind her, watching her feet and footing so I didn't slip a second time. We had been walking for a while now, it must have at least been half an hour. Why were these tunnel even here anyway, and were did they lead? “How long?” Delphine said, her fingers pressing the ear piece. How she even got signal 6 feet under was beyond me. Without really thinking I kept walking on. “Great! See you when it's all over. Merci! Je t'aime” The last words came out of Delphine's mouth and she paused, I couldn't see her face but she must have been squinting at her mistake into the air. Even myself who had no language skills, barely even English knew what that meant. Delphine suddenly relaxed and she picked up the pace a little skip in her step out of no where. She pulled the ear piece down and hung up the phone putting both in her pocket. I didn't say anything. It could have gone two ways, Delphine could have said it and Cosima reciprocated it or Delphine could have said it and screwed it all up, what ever it was they had. But the quirk in her step made me think the former so I just hung back letting her reveal in it. I would need to find out whether I had guessed right about them in my story. I evidently knew about them. To be honest the part between Beth's death and being framed for murder was hazy as the rest of my head, so I could have met them or found out more about them for all I knew. Delphine stopped a little way ahead so I walked forward to see what was up in the darkness. Presented in front of us as a dead end with one ladder up into a darker vertical tunnel like the one they came down. But the rungs on the bottom were loose so we would have to skip them. Delphine looked stuck slightly for what to do. As she pondered there were some voices behind us that sounded way off in the distance. 

“Shit. We have company.” I said, looking behind me but only being met by black mist. Delphine offered to go up first, needing a boost up, with my core muscles or what I had of them I knew I would be able to climb up, but she as skinny and tall. Who knew what was under that skirt and top. I knelt down in the muck and put my hands together on my thigh as a level for her to get up. She climbed onto me and I stood up, pushing her with my arms and all my strength up to the ladder. My back shot with pain just in time for her to let go. 

“Argh!” I called out, realising immediately that this was a bad decision, the voices stopped and suddenly started again with a great fury. They must have been following us for a while, or have loud voices to feel so close. As soon as Delphine was up enough she leant back down to help me up, but her arms were too short. Like always without thinking I stepped back and gave myself a run up, jumping for the nearest solid rung, my muscles tightened to pull me up. One hand in the force jumped up to the next rung as my body writhed underneath me to be pulled up. My core muscles were not the same but I tried swinging my weight to the side. With this momentum I managed to pull myself up another rung, the top of my thighs now just a bit away from the bottom. I tried to lift my foot up but it hurt my back too much. In my pause my hands ached, my fingers turning white just trying to get up. This time at this height Delphine could reach me, she grabbed the neck of my coat and at the count of three helped lift me. My feet grabbed onto the wrong rung, falling cold to the floor beneath us, but just in time my right foot had lifted up. With a great sigh of relief and pain I lifted myself up fully on the ladder. Delphine gave me a saddened look of sympathy in the darkness and we climbed up. The voices still behind us by a way, but echoing around every crevice.

I saw Delphine's feet as she stopped her hands on top of something pushing it. It was the hatch and it was not budging. She put the torch between her teeth like I had and tried with both hands. She only managed a little lift before the heavy metal crashed back down. 

“I need your help.” Delphine said, talking to the wall around her but meaning me. Somehow I needed to get up around her to help. With a momentary pause to think, I began to climb up, she moved as far to one side as she could to give me room to climb, but there was not enough. I had to use her body, my arms wrapping around her hips as my legs found something to stand on. With her hand she lifted me up a bit, but I had to use her thigh to lift me the rest of the way. Soon we were both cramped up at the exit of the tunnel. It was colder up here, closer to the snow that was falling still. I knew we were outside, when she had lifted it even for that second a cold brisk air shot through me. 

“Hi.” I said, as our faces were so close. I could see what Cosima would see in her. I was hetero but I could see the magnificence in the face that she had. Beautiful. She saw me looking and blushed slightly, looking to the hatch roof. My hands touched it's ice cold surface and so did hers. With my legs sprawled between hers on the rung we lifted it up, straining my already hurting muscles. We pushed it to the side. A great horrendous wind smashed against my face bringing with it cold flakes of snow. We were definitely outside, we had made it. My eyes burned with the change from black to white, but when I had adjusted I still couldn't see far, there was a fog falling down over the sounding area. But what I could see were tree's. A forest.


	9. Clone Club

Part 9 

White. Everything outside of the black tinted window was white. Snow everywhere, blanketing the hard earth underneath a cover of delicate ice. My eyes followed one point and then let it zoom past. Another point, letting it fade behind me. Even though I was not supposed to be showing my head above the windowsill I couldn't help it. 3 months without so much as a whisper of what was happening outside. I hadn't even had a chance to look at my unfit self, I must have had some weird unkempt hairstyle going on. The lack of eye liner and make up would probably come as a shock to me when I could get a chance to look. Delphine caught my eye line and I looked down, sliding down the back seat to hide myself, pulling the black blanket further over my body. She adjusted herself too, they would be looking for the missing doctor soon enough. We both just sat there in the back of the SUV hiding from anyone, everyone who would report the missing mental patient from the institute and her accomplice doctor. Whoever was driving I wouldn't know. It was a need to know basis Delphine had told me, “Get in the car. Don't speak and hide.” But whoever it was in this hectic world they must be on our side, or at least willing to face years in jail for helping a prisoners escape. So I figured there was no point in arguing. We had been driving for at least an hour, even though the city was just 20 minutes down the freeway. After sitting there uncomfortably shoved between the pushed forward drivers seat and the back seat, I had to move at least something. So with a great deal of effort I managed to lift my legs to a spread out position, over the back seat foot divider and down beside Delphine. She protested, but knew she couldn't speak so just did the same, her legs coming down beside me. Being cramped up in a car, especially when not being allowed an actual seat for an hour was not my ideal. Eventually we came to a stop, but it must have been traffic lights or a turning because there were cars moving either side of us. As soon as there was a break the car pulled over to the left side of the road, and dark shadows came over us. The engine cut dead and I could hear the driver get out and come to my side of the car. When he pulled my door open I fell backwards, still entangled in the blanket. He helped me out of it, by supporting me whilst I pulled it off, hot under the insulating fabric. I clambered out, more falling to the floor than standing up, but when my feet were free I stood. Delphine had got herself out of the car, to the pavement and up to this house. I looked around, completely unsure of my surroundings. Suburbs? The hoses around me where in perfect synch, with perfect green cut front lawns (under the snow), crafted and shaped plants lining the white picket fences. Around the edges were piles of snow already pushed with great shovels to the side around their drive. Not allowing me to be outside for too long; I was dragged backwards, I kicked a little before realising it was the person who drove me here taking me around the back yard of a house. Quickly I gained my footing after months of being dragged around, and lead myself there. Down the back of this yard were a set of white French basement doors. At the helm I saw a woman, I stopped in my tracks, just for a moment before being pushed forwards. Alison? It had to be, she looked exactly like me, except impatient with a fringe crossing her arms over her new woollen cardigan, huffing and looking worried and wanting to stop it already. I was jumbled into the house. A sofa set with TV, a small room to the right and opposite a small staircase up to the first floor. Definitely Alison, this was exactly how I had imagined it. Maybe I had actually been here. 

“Quickly!” Alison commanded. Definitely her. My wild natural eyes looked to her, curious, and exploitative. She just looked back. Her hand was holding her head and she was looking at me, a small bracelet on her wrist with a wolves head. She wouldn't get a tattoo. I sat down on the sofa, Delphine stood behind me, Alison thanked the man gave him some money and closed the doors behind him. 

“Alison?” I said, wondering. It was weird, Beth was weird enough, but seeing more of her, real versions of herself with completely different lives was weird. More than weird it was the setting of a teenager angst existential movie where I was the lead. Alison's eyes widened. 

“It knows me.” She said, turning to Delphine. “Great.” 

“Oi! I'm not an 'it' I'm Sarah.” I retaliated, turning to her. I was still in my grey jumpsuit, my pumps having dried off a little bit, but still caked in mud. She must have been thinking about what I was, and before she could even register what I had said her eyes stared at my feet, her body following them. She dropped to the floor, yanked them from me and ran them out of the door chucking them into her garden. 

“Oh no! What if they come here.” She ran back out into the snowy grass, grabbed them, searching around at the overlooking houses and scurried into her garage. I just looked to Delphine who sighed and came and sat around me. Her hands were still muddy and she looked tired, her hands just sitting there in her lab coat pockets. When Alison returned Delphine went to say something, but was silenced by her hands. Alison disappeared into the small room off of this one and returned with clothes. 

“Donnie, my husband is at work and the kids are at school. You must be very quick, you can have a shower and get changed into these. Please god, avoid windows.” Alison dumped sets of pink and purple clothes onto our laps. I looked to them, to Delphine's accepting face and then to Alison, who was staring at me with her big dark eyes. 

“Ok.” I said, getting up in my horrid suit, anything was better than this. 

 

“I look like Barbie chundered on me.” I cried on Delphine's shoulder, she was standing there straightening her purple vest in the long mirror. My head resting on her shoulder, my fingers out in front of me, painting pale pink, buffered and shiny. Delphine sighed and looked to me. 

“It will be ok.” Delphine pulled the sleeve of her pale pink shirt down over her tattoo, but the length was wrong so it bounced back up. We moved from the bedroom and out into the hall. Carefully we avoided the windows and came downstairs, looking around in case someone had actually come home when they were not supposed to. When the coast was clear we snuck down the basement stairs. 

“Hey.” I said as Alison came out of the crafts room, looking a little shocked at how we looked in her clothes before settling on the image. “When can I see my daughter?” For some reason this struck a nerve in both Delphine and Alison, Alison moved around the back of the sofa, coming closer to me. 

“Daughter? Adopted or..-”

“Biological Daughter, her name is Kira I haven't seen her in months.” My voice was a little tired from the stay in the hospital even to me I sounded weak. Alison did not speak, Delphine just watched me as if I was going to do something rash, joke about what I had just said, or explain it or something. “What.” I said, looking to both of them. Delphine turned to me, looking to Alison with her mouth open, ready to speak, and then to me. 

“As in you gave birth to the child?” Why the questions? 

“Yeah, I got knocked up and had her about 8 years ago. When can I see her?” Thinking to myself, I wasn't even sure even without all of this drama whether I would be able to see her. When I came back from 'travelling' I went straight to Felix, and then found Beth, then got caught up in this mess. I was gone for 10 months, and now I've been gone for over a year. How was I even going to explain this whole mess to Mrs. S. Delphine looked curious and worried to Alison who just stood there watching me. 

“Great.” Was all she could say. What was with these two? Just as I was about to ask Delphine's phone began to ring, the neon pink was the first thing I saw before she answered it. 

“Cosima.” Delphine said, walking away from the two of us and over to the French doors. She held both hands over her phone, avoiding our eyes. “Yes yes, we are safe.....At Alison's house...There is new information...A child...Yes..I know! Ok.” Delphine turned fully away from us. “Je T'aime” Then hung up the phone. I looked to Alison, who was holding her head with her hand and watching Delphine too. 

“Look. Thanks for breaking me out and everything.” I began. 

“Breaking out. The whole plan went to pot when you decided to run! We had strategies and plans in motion for your release. The whole thing took weeks of preparation, then you just decide to run.” Alison was angry with me. Even in the story I wrote about her she was angry with me. I just ignored her and walked to the sofa sitting back down again. My clothes a little too tight and clean. My hands lifted the shoulder fabric up to my nose and I smelt the fresh scented softener on it, lavender. My nose crinkled and I let it drop back, she was too clean. If she was trying to break me out then why did she hate me so much.

“You do realise you cannot stay here forever.” Alison said, not to me, more to Delphine. I looked to her reaction. 

“I know. We are working on a way to either hide or clearing her name.” She looked to me. “Was there anything that Beth said, anyway of knowing why she killed Maggie Chan.” I thought about this for a moment, she hadn't really said anything that I remembered. And if I didn't remember now then, without treatment how could I? Fingers scratched my head as I thought. 

“Urr...only that she was having the trial for it, to make her statement..But Leekie told me that there was CCTV of the actual event, that proved she killed her a covered it up?” Delphine laughed. “What?” 

“Half of what Leekie said was to cover up for what he knew; that you weren't Beth. There is no footage, only what Beth saw, and what she said in her report. But now we can't get hold of it--”

“What about Art?” Delphine looked confused. “Arthur Bell, her partner. Maybe he knew something?” 

“And how are you going to ask him to cooperate. 'Oi Art, I'm your dead partners clone who impersonated her for weeks and got thrown in the asylum. Can you help me figure out why she shot a civilian.'” Alison butted in, I was really starting to dislike her. I ignored her and spoke to Delphine who was the only one who seemed to be alright, even when dressed in too small pink and lilac clothes that really didn't suit her. 

“I can call Art and tell him I need help, tell him what really happened when Beth shot Maggie, and see what he knows.” 

“Impersonate Beth again?”

“Yeah.” 

Suddenly there was movement upstairs on the first floor. We all froze, our voices stopped and we looked straight at the door. Alison was the first to do something, she ran towards the stairs, before turning back to us thinking of potential turn outs of whoever is upstairs. She whispered to us; “You need to hide.” Delphine and I looked to each other, then at the room. Alison came over, slapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the craft room. I got up and Delphine went inside, I moved around the sofa into the room too. Apart from the door there was no way out or to hide. Alison gave us a look and her finger pressed against her lips. “Shhh.” We stood silent watching her as she closed the door behind herself, and walked up the stairs and out of the basement. My eyes watched Delphine. Before we could even listen to what was happening upstairs, the basement door was open and multiple feet were coming down the stairs. 

“Why didn't you come through the basement!” Alison was arguing. The person didn't respond. Delphine jumped behind the crafts desk and I dived behind the door just in time for it to open and Alison to walk in. 

“Delphine?” A new accent spoke, but this one I recognised as Cosima. Delphine must have too because she had already ran around the table hitting herself slightly and wrapped her arms around her. They both fell into my view, hugging and leaning on the table. All I could do was watch in fascination as another version of myself came into reality. They tumbled a bit, not really looking where they were going, just happy with each other, squeezing each other. Delphine nestled up into Cosima's neck with her face and then kissed it. Cosima turned her head to face her girlfriends and she kissed the side of her face, as Delphine looked up they kissed on the lips. A slow and tender kiss, as if they had not done it in so long, as if it would be their last. I came out from behind the door, noticing Alison standing in the frame arms folded, a little flushed. She coughed. They broke away from each other still holding elbows, and looking into each others eyes. My feet shuffled, it was always awkward seeing other people kissing or showing any kind of affection. It was sickening. 

“Cosima.” Delphine said, her voice suddenly sweet. It was then I noticed her whole face had changed, she wasn't the worn out doctor I had known, her face was full of colour and less hollow, her eyes practically glistening. Delphine pointed her head down towards me. Cosima looked over her face gleaming, a wide smile shining across her face. She let go of Dephine's arms and turned to me, waving her hands about. 

“We meet at last!” She said, her voice excited and her face showing it, a little too happy maybe. She extended her hand out to me, but with what Alison was like I'm sure she could understand my hesitation. 

“Right.” I said, hesitantly taking her hand. When they connected she pulled me in for a hug, I tensed up, having never met this woman before as her hands went over my shoulders securing me there. My eyes met Delphine's who was now smiling a little bit, looking at the floor. When Cosima released me she held my elbows too. 

“Op sorry.” Cosima let go and stepped back. “I'm here to help.” 

“Great. Clear my nam-Beth's name and let me go free. I really don't need any of this clone shit.” Even though I would probably regret this, even though I would most probably want to know everything. That wasn't the most important thing on my mind. What was, was getting Kira, getting Felix and getting the hell out of here. Get away from this clone bullshit and just not coming back. 

“Ahh this is where it get's tricky.” Cosima said, her face suddenly getting serious. It was cramped in this room, with all 4 of us. They were none the wiser to my discomfort so I tried to get free. I walked out into the small lounge and took a deep breath. The fact that there were clones in my life, clones of me hadn't quite sunk in yet. Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe things weren't like the movies where something big happens and you dn't have this horrible grief or breakdown or go mute for a year or something. Maybe I had just accepted it. They all followed me out of the room, I sat in the arm chair, Alison stood still by the craft room and Delphine and Cosima took the sofa. 

“Ok. What do I need to do?” I guess I will have to put Kira on hold. A few more months couldn't hurt. If I saw her now and then disappeared again it would be worse. Cosima took a deep breath, and held Delphine's hand hard. 

“You need to impersonate Beth again, go to Arthur see what he knows. He is the only one Beth trusted throughout this whole thing. So she must have told him why she killed Miss Chan.” It was now that I wished I never said I wanted Beth's perfect life. I rearranged my legs in my sitting position. Spreading them comfortably wide apart and holding my hands together between them, looking at everyone one by one. “Do you know Art's number.” I thought for a second, it had been months, but it was also weeks that I was impersonating her. Maybe I did know it. They gave me Alison's phone, not the clone phone but a black one of some description. Before I dialled the numbers I looked up. 

“What do I even say?” They all thought for a minute. We seemed to all do it the same way, pause; as if the cogs in our brains were meshing together to think of a response. It was probably genetic. 

“Tell him you need to meet.” Alison said. 

“And what if he doesn't know I broke free?”

“Just think on your feet. You seem to be great at it.” Alison's tone was sour, and everyone noticed. Cosima broke the tension though, before she even opened her mouth her hands were talking for her. 

“Just go with what he is saying, don't tell him why just say you need to meet him right this second. Urm in a neutral place, somewhere we can intervene and help, that doesn't give away our position or whereabouts. A bar maybe, or..” 

“I know the place.” I butted in, sitting on the edge of my seat. “Its this abandoned lot I found when I used to live 'ere. By some old church. I know the address.” Already I was dialling the numbers, the rash impulsiveness of the plan was a little shaky, as long as I could keep my cool on the phone it would be fine. Before they could intervene now, I phoned the number, tapping the speaker phone icon. 

The phone rang. And rang. 

“Detective Bell.” Art said, his voice deeper and more rusty than when I had last spoken to him. I realised I hadn't spoken in Beth's voice for months so I would have to figure it out quickly. I ran my hand through my hair in a little panic. 

“Hey, dipshit.” I said, a little rusty myself. I figured out what she would probably say, it was not that, but that's the only thing that would make him immediately think it was Beth. And who knows, maybe after a while in the hospital a persons voice and accent does go to shit. 

“Beth! What the hell are you doing.” I could see his face on the other end bending over the phone, hiding the speaker from other people. Alison listening intently, whilst Cosima and Delphine were looking to each other, reunited at last. 

“Art, we need to meet. I need to talk to you.” I could hear him grinding his teeth in frustration. He was a man of rules, if you were put in jail or an asylum you would stay there. 

“How the hell are you talking to me. You are supposed to be--”

“Yeah yeah alright ok!” This was a little too English so I coughed. They all realised my mistake and watched me carefully. I avoided their eyes, holding the phone face up in my hand for all to hear. “Just meet me here right now.” I gave him the address. Alison seemed to know it and sighed as if it was all going to shit already. Then I realised I would need to get there. After Art huffed on the other end I hung up the phone putting it on the arm of the chair and sitting backwards. 

“So you think it's better to take him to the dark industrial edge of town? He is not going to respect you for that.” Alison remarked, I shot her a dirty look. 

“Shove off will you!” I said, she was taken aback and looked to Cosima. Cosima leaned towards me on her seat, letting Delphine relax behind her. 

“Ok good, so now we have Art right. This is a great start, he can help clear up why Beth killed Maggie.” Cosima was talking with her hands again, but it didn't annoy me. Something about her, maybe her west coast familiarity or her charisma made it ok, made me automatically like her. If only she wouldn't hug so much. 

“Why are we so interested in Maggie?” I asked. I thought it would be an obvious question, but the way Alison huffed in the background was as if it was the most obvious thing ever. When to me it was not. 

“Well, first off Beth is not the type to shoot first think second in any case. Second if Beth did kill her, then there must have been a good reason and we want to know why.” Cosima answered without any look of judgement for my question. She got up and started to pace around the room. Delphine sat forward watching her walk. Alison sat down on the stairs. “What you need to somehow ask Art is how much he knows, if Beth told him anything at all. That is what the main thing is. Just don't tell him anything about the clones or the twins or anything.” I accepted what she had to say, but then realised I was super hungry all of a sudden. Of course I was hungry, I hadn't eaten today. I got up, and escaped. Hours I had been up now, god knows what time it was. Cosima seemed to stop and look at me. My expression must have been something of hunger or weakness because she knew. “You're hungry right?” She tilted her head and looked to me. I looked around the room, I hated being put on the spot especially in places I didn't know. My hands went to my stomach which rumbled like clockwork. 

“Yeah. I haven't eaten since dinner last night, if I had it.” Delphine and Cosima looked at me worried. Delphine sat forward and looked to Alison who tried to avoid her eyes. 

“Alison?” Cosima said turning her whole body to see her. It was then I really looked at what she was wearing, a red long top over black jeans, with a black skull neck scarf. Her hair was pulled back into a band, and her glasses that I had thought about for so long were on her face, as well as the nose ring Beth had told me about. Her feet were in black heels. This part I thought was different, no wonder she was as tall as Delphine when they hugged. I seemed to have forgotten that as a clone the other clones would also be my size. But Cosima's boobs seemed to be bigger. Bitch. 

“Alright alright!” Alison said, throwing her hands in the air and walking up the stairs. “I'll make you a packed lunch.” At least it was something. As Alison walked out of the door the tense atmosphere depleted and it was nice. 

“Nice to meet you Cosima.” I finally said, she had been here a while but a late hello was better than none. She smiled at my remembering to say hello. 

“Hi.” She waved at me and sat back down with Delphine. Delphine wrapped her arm around Cosima and snuggled into her shoulder. 

“So you guys are a couple?” I asked, settling down with the awkwardness of seeing affection. They looked to each other and smiled. I wonder whether Delphine would have read the stories I wrote for Leekie. If they had then this would be a little weird, my having written about their first meeting and getting to know each other. There was just a little pang like a high pitch guitar string being plucked by strong fingers in my head, no where near the intensity of the headaches before. But this made my eyes go fuzzy for just a second and I looked to the floor acting as if everything was fine. Delphine moved forward a little in her cuddle and stared at me, but Cosima was none the wiser. When the pain faded away I looked back up, still feeling a little woozy, and waited for the food. Cosima sighed and looked up. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Cosima looked to Delphine who nodded back, still worried about me, her face was below Cosima's so she couldn't see the expression. “Where did we meet, the lab? Or the lecture?” Delphine brushed off her worry and began smiling at the thought. 

“Yes, the lab. Remember I invited you to the lecture..that's how we met Dr. Leekie.” Delphine said. This was not in my story, but then I wouldn't know everything. 

“Oh I remember!! You were so obsessed with the neolution! I still think it is a bit dodgy even after all the things I know. Even after just looking at us all.” Cosima looked to me and then to Delphine. I remember what Delphine had said in the tunnel about Neolutionism, about how Dr. Leekie was one also. 

“Hey, Delphine, it's kinda been bugging me in the tunnel you said that you thought that the neolutionists were freaks or somethin', and that you're invested. What's that supposed to mean?” I said this thinking for some reason Delphine wouldn't have told Cosima, that for some strange issue this would be something she didn't want to let loose. It was when Cosima answered that I realised it wasn't. 

“Me.” Cosima said. “We ur...” She looked to Delphine and there was a change in her tone, a softer more infatuated stress on the words. “We fell in love. You could say that's investment?” They kissed, Cosima's head was still, Delphine lifted her head. Their lips connected eyes closed. It wasn't rushed, but it wasn't a peck. They just sat there colliding, taking their lips back in a smile and then kissing again. I watched for a second, more in fascination of seeing myself kissing a girl. There was nothing hot about it, just...it was strange to formulate into words. It was just...nice. 

“Here. Take it.” Alison dropped a brown paper bag on my lap. I grabbed the top in my fist and stood up. Cosima and Delphine had broken apart getting up. Then I stopped moving. 

“How am I getting there?” This was a very obvious question. One we just hadn't discussed. They both looked to Alison.

“No!” She said. “Ok. Alright.” 

 

The heavy family car pulled up onto the gravel. This place was deserted, just a track road to get here, and surrounded by derelict buildings. In the background was an old church and a factory missing half of its roof, looking like fire damage. Across from this was a tree line, on the other side a controlled river, with a bay the other side of that made just of old dirty yellow grass. Putting the car in park I looked nervously around for Art. They had given me a black blazer to put on. Hopefully, I wouldn't need to get out of the car to talk to him. In the distance I could hear a car engine coming up behind me. My hands held each other pulling and stroking, running through my hair. One last check in the mirror, I straightened my hair, pulling some over my shoulder opposite the window. The lunch bag was empty on the chair next to me. The car did not pull up next to me like I had imagined, instead I heard footsteps from the passenger side of my car, crunching loudly on the weed ridden ground. Before I could react or get the car going again, Art pulled on the handle, opened the door and got in. His face twisted and pissed off as usual. 

“What the hell is this Beth. You should--”

“Look Art I need some information. It's been Hectic. Just stay on a need to know basis ok?” 

“It's always need to know.” He said, briefly he looked out of the window licking his lips and then back at me. In his hand I noticed a gun pointed at me. My hands flew up in the air and I pushed myself up against my door. Was he going to shoot me? Turn me in? Did he know I was not Beth too?

“Calm the hell down! It's just protection. What the hell do you expect, you call me out in the middle of no where with no explanation. I've got De Angeles on my back wondering where I am--” I settled back down. This was already too much for me to handle. Being inside that place had made me soft.

“Art. What really happened to Maggie Chan?” I just came right out with it, I might not have time other wise.This took him back. He stopped talking. Then tightened his grip on the gun. His head shook a little and then his eyes connected with mine. Then they looked to what I was wearing. 

“What do you mean?” He said, his hand hesitant on the gun, his eyes dead on me.

“I mean, did I really kill her. I have been in that place for over 3 months now.. all the drugs you know-” My hands gripped the wheel in front of me, fell back to my lap and then held each other. 

“Be careful what you are saying Beth.” This was strange coming from him. Although I had only known him a little while before all this happened he had Beth's back. It was just horrible trying to pretend to be Beth when she was dead and I was here. Half of me thought it should be the other way around.

“What's wrong Art?” Even I could recognise the change in him. This felt like the situation with Delphine in our treatment sessions, where she said one thing and I read another. He shook his head again. 

“Nothing it's just I felt this was behind us.” Suddenly I knew what to say. 

“Why did I take the wrap for it?” When I said this he did not look at me, it wasn't a shocking question, one that was out of place or random. It was something he was ready to hear and this made me confused and questioning what he was really doing here. 

“I'm sorry you got caught into this Beth. I really am. I tried my best, what sort of partner would I be if I didn't?” What did he mean tried. What did he do? 

“What did you do Art?” This was news to me. It would be news to all of us. Beth didn't just shoot Maggie?

“You know damn well what I did. I would do it again.” He looked out of the passenger window. He was always in some mood or other, always pissed off at something. He turned back to me after I didn't say anything. “Look, Beth, I...some parts of me wished I didn't help you, I didn't put the phone in her hand to cover up.” I opened my mouth to ask more about what he did but he thought I was going to protest. “No.” He put his free hand up.”I'm glad I did...but I am still pissed that you pleaded guilty to murder, not even manslaughter. After all I did for you!” 

“I pleaded guilty?!”

“Did you loose all your mind in there Beth. Of course you did. You fucking ruined all I had planned. You were going to get off free. I still don't know why you did ---”

“You don't know?” 

“No of course I don't! Need to know right? The less I know about your motive the better.” I sat back in my seat, less tensed and looked to the sun screen with my face reflected back in the mirror. I looked clean, but the bags under my eyes were real from the endless sleepless nights. He didn't know. What he said felt like tense strings being cut through and falling loose on the floor. Who else would know? He leaned back against his chair too, sensing the atmosphere. 

“What happened in their Beth. How are you out?” He asked, his tone dramatically changing, it almost sounded as if he cared. When I didn't respond he didn't get arsey, just sat there and watched. Suddenly this horrible feeling came over me that whatever Beth's reason for killing Maggie, some part of me didn't want to know, especially if she felt she needed to end her life because of it. It clicked into place, that must be the reason. It was obvious, but I didn't really want to dwell on her reasons, but that has to be it. A few minutes passed of us just sitting there in the car, not talking, just breathing, just being around each other. Art was Beth's partner but even through the annoying arrogance and aggressive ways, I felt comfortable around him too, protected even. I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket, no Beth's phone, and knew they would be wanting to know what's happening. My fingers felt over the blazer and turned it off and I looked to Art. 

“Art there is something I need to tell you--”

Just as I was about to admit it to him, there was a horrific cry of sirens all around us. Art was just as shocked and confused as I was, which made me worried. If he had no idea what was happening, I definitely wouldn't. I realised, that we were being closed in around by cop cars, black tinted glass vehicles and big trucks. I attempted to drive away. Blue and red lights shrouding the horizon line. Slamming the car into drive and pushing hard on the pedal. The car jerked forward but another truck pulled up ahead of me. Two more closed around us and we were blocked. Eyes wild and frantic I looked for an escape, my breathing quickening whilst Art searched around looking for a cause to this all. Shots were fired, big ice like cracks shattering across the wind shield. Art was screaming out, covering his head and getting his gun pointing up out of the screen. Before I could look around or even shield myself the door was pulled open, my seatbelt ripped off and I was dragged out. I protested, punching my arms into the air, hitting something but not being dropped. Art tried to get out of the door, but a dart fired into his neck. His hand flashed to the spot, clutching it, pulling the dart out and staring at it, then to me before his eyes shut and head dropped.

“Hey!!!” I cried out, a bag put over my head, my hands pulled behind my back, secured in metal and yanked tight. Hands all over me, hard grips bruising my skin already. At the pain of pinching skin I cried out again, my legs kicking around in the air. They had actually picked me up, whoever they were and were taking me back to somewhere. Sirens still blared out, and through the sack on my head I could see he faint blur of red and blue. “Let me go!” This had to be the hospital. This had to be the institute coming to collect me, like a criminal. Beth was a criminal technically. What the hell had he meant by covering it up, he tried to help her? Just as these thoughts crashed through my mind, more shots were fired and I was dropped to the floor. Hitting my ass on the had gravel. Am I dead? Am I hurt? Did I get shot? Without eyes or hands I tried to figure it out, all I feel was the cold earth, stones pushed into me. No wounds. My feet tried to get up but I had no balance with no hands. More sirens blared and shouts this time were all around me. I was picked up again, gloved fists and arms under my own, lifting me up and dragging me even quicker. 

“Get off!!” I screamed. As I was about to kick and flare around one punched me in the stomach. I keeled over forwards, wanting to comfort myself, hold my stomach. Pain like searing steaks ripped through my front. My arms were pulled back again, feeling my shoulders would come out of the socket. More shots fired, silence, and the people holding me were down, myself falling onto them. My breathing was shaky as hell, not knowing what the hell was going on and totally blind made my imagination go wild with dred and horror. Was I being kidnapped, this was not legal. When the people didn't move I knew they were dead, my eyes were tearing and my body was shaking. What the fuck was happening. I tried to get up, to wonder somewhere, to just run and get the hell out of here. My legs tried to lift me but stumbled over them. My knees smacked against the gravel, digging into me. Sending shocks through my thighs and resonating to the bone.

“Argh!” I yelled, more tears coming down my cheek in the confusion. Again I was pulled up, this time by one person, with small hands dragging me the complete opposite direction. Or was it? Either way, I kicked and screamed. 

“Shhh Sestra!” The voice called out a woman, eastern European, she dragged me somewhere dark shadows cast over me. More shots and screams were sounded, cracking through the atmosphere. 

“What the hell is going on?” I cried out. The woman clamped what felt like a hand over my face, over the sack and I couldn't speak. The way the bag was made meant I couldn't breath as well, so I kicked her off of me. 

“Shh!” She repeated. Before I could call out or kick again the bag was ripped off of my head and blinding white light broke through my line of sight. 

“Helena?” I said, talking the girl who I had heard about, the crazy Ukrainian. The girl I had written about but never met. The woman who looked just like me but with great curls of white blond hair and dark roots, wild red eyes, and an animal physique. My eyes widened at the sight, not thinking twice about looking to where I was. She clamped her hand over my mouth again, her dirty finger going to her full lips, silencing me. Helena let go, stood up from somewhere and with her gun fired. She must have hit someone or a few because great cries echoed around us. This time I looked around. We were behind some kind of vehicle, it wasn't the people carrier but an old camper van looking thing, but it wasn't that. Around me were frail dead trees and long yellow grass. The edge of the abandoned lot. Once she had sheltered long enough she stood back up firing again. I could hear footsteps, guns, boots, car wheels all around me. My breathing was hectic, large gulps and short sucks. Helena slammed back down next to me, her back on the car, she was leaning up and around the back of the van, shots grazed past it. Her face was smiling and her tongue was licking her lips; see loved this a little too much. I just stared at her, mouth open, wet cheeks and hair all around my face. 

“Hello Sestra!” She said, watching me with exhilarating passion. My eyes were just fixed on her, her feral nature and animal eyes were intimidating, innocent looking but terrifying. Hands pulled against the metal handcuffs, but they wouldn't budge, all I could do was sit there on my ass, legs in front of me watching Helena. She stood back up again, shooting at the people. I could see nothing, no idea of who she was shooting at, whether they were getting hit or not. 

It was slow when it happened. Just a second and blood was spitting out of her arm, the bullet flying straight through the flesh and out of the other side. She fell backwards onto the floor, cradling her arm. Before I could even scream or move to help her, she was up on her feet dragging me with her. Blood and sweat pouring, her breathing erratic with pain. We ran into the bush and tree's out of the gunman's sight. The grass hid us but there was more space to go. She dragged her weakened body, small moans crying out of her mouth. The hand that was not holding me was holding her wound like a vice. Bullets flew off tree's just missing our heads and bodies. Breaking through the other side of the brush just before the river was a black motorcycle, already she was clambering onto it, and begging me to join. Her eyes were red with pain, and blood dripped down her green coat and her foot kick started the machine.

“Now!” Helena shouted. Still with hands behind me I jumped onto the bike holding it so hard with my thighs and leaning close to her as she roared it into life and pulled off. A bullet just missed my back, but clipped the fabric of the blazer. I didn't want to look behind me, to see who was shooting or why. What about Art? What would they do to him? 

A/N: I hope you know I have not forgotten about this! I am busy this week with stuff up until thursday, but also have some time at night to write. Please please review and tell me things you like and hate, your support is amazing!!! :)


	10. Wounded Artist

Part 10 

“This whole thing still makes me shiver. How you got mixed up in this is beyond me...oh wait, you met your twin sister and there are more of you.” Felix sassed, painting away whilst Helena and I were in his apartment. I hadn't actually told him about the 'clone' part yet, as far as he was concerned I was one of 3. 

“Helena you're going to have to sit still if you want to get better!” My pleads for her to stay put were futile, she was wondering around the kitchen rummaging through cupboards looking for food whilst dried up blood was flicking about the place. 

“Sarah please control that thing!” Felix my asked me soaked in worry, waving his paint brushes in his hands, trying to shield his new paintings from Helena's absent minded wondering. I shot him a look and he calmed back down, still hesitant, she crashed past him. His hand fell to his heart as if he thought he was going to die. Felix's house was the last place I should probably go, it was the first place they would look if they were going to get me if they weren't already on their way. 

“Helena!” I shouted, she stopped in her tracks, looking about on the crowded counter and looked to me a face full of junk. I walked calmly over to her, sort of worried that she could suddenly pounce or something. I put my hands out, as if surrendering, she watched me carefully. Then she nodded. My fingers picked up the cotton and antiseptic type solution again that Felix now handed to me. The liquid poured out onto the bud and it soaked through. “This will only sting a little ok?” With little precision I blotted the cotton on the wound. She screamed pulling back in reflex, the food spat out on the floor and things crashed to the floor around her. Pressing herself to the counter side. “Helena, trust me that's as bad as it gets ok. We have to do this in case it gets infected.” I barely knew anything about first aid or cuts, but TV had taught me that you had to at least clean it. Feet took me over to her, carefully dabbing the bud onto it. The red raw flesh around it looked painful. The bullet grazed through but it still looked as if it did the damage. I stroked the bud around it, soaking the excess blood and cleaning. Helena bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes whilst this happened. When I was just cleaning for the sake of cleaning she pushed me back. “Ok!” I said. She was more annoying than I had imagined. Next Felix plopped some wrapping and bandages on the side, careful of Helena and went back to paint again with this new found inspiration. The wrapping was placed on over some cream that I just applied, then stuck down with some bandage tape. It was surprising what sort of stuff Felix had in his house, probably got mixed up with the wrong people quite a lot. Once it was all done I dropped to Felix's sofa and closed my eyes, leaning my head back on the rest. There was the question that hadn't been answered yet, as always I wasn't one for obvious enquiries. 

“Helena?” I said aloud, I could hear her moving around to get nearer to me. With a grunt she responded. “Who were they?” She sighed heavily and sat down. My eyes opened and looked to her across to the right of me. 

“Bad.” She said. 

“But who, the DYAD institute?” 

“Sheep.” She had found some more food after she had spat hers out and was now eating it, cramming the something into her mouth. 

“What do you mean?” Instead of relaxing I chose to sit forward, legs apart and hands held between them watching her. Helena was licking her fingers clean before having some more of whatever it was. It must have been some sort of sandwich but it looked too saucy and messy to be one. 

“They were followers, not leaders. They were coming to get you sestra. But I kill them.” Again she sucked on her finger tips, with a smile through messy teeth she looked to me. Disgusted a little I looked away, to Fe and then to my hands. He was still painting something. 

“So someone sent them, who?” She finished it, wiping her sticky hands on her jeans. 

“Baahhhh” She croaked out. It was useless, there was no point talking to her. She was too animal, too feral to even hold a proper conversation. 

“Why can't you just tell me, meathead!” She jumped up over to me, leaning over and threatening me with her eyes. 

“Don't call me this.” This was different to the way I had imagined she was respond. There was obviously something deep routed in her for this to be offensive. She sat back down, still weary and ready for action. 

“Well?” After I had calmed down from the small altercation, gulping, I looked to her. 

“Another sestra.” Did she mean clone? This grabbed my attention. There were only 8 right, Helena, Cosima, Alison, myself, and 4 others from Europe..were there 9 or did she mean Alison or Cosima? I tilted my head a little, frowning trying to get this together in my head. 

“Like Alison?” I tried to give her eyes, as to not mention the C word around Felix, but somehow I knew this would be useless to try and tell her. 

“Yes. Another one.” Felix ignored this, choosing to play his music through headphones in an attempt to get rid of Helena's irritating accent. 

“And they sent the men with guns?” Maybe Helena was just fucking about and didn't actually know. But why was she there to free me. Was she following me the whole way. I didn't even want to think about the car or Art right now. They wanted me not him. 

“Yes. To get you.”

“I get that Helena! But where were they going to take me?” She shrugged. 

“I just know they were bad.” I got flash backs to the bag being put over my head, seeing Art's face just before he was knocked out. I hope he was knocked out and not killed! The thought suddenly struck me, I hadn't even worried about that. 

“Do you know who this sestra is?” I scooted closer to her on the large sofa, our knees almost touching. My head looked around to see Felix ignoring us still and in a hushed voice I continued. “Is she another clone?” Helena nodded, looking very seriously towards me. 

“Can you feel it.” Her breathing was heavy and deep reminding me of Dr. E in the same way. I looked to her with a deeper frown having absolutely no idea what she was on about. 

“Urr feel what Helena?” She grabbed my head and pulled ours together, our foreheads touching before I could even protest. 

“The connection.” she whispered in a creepy sinister way. I broke free slapping her hands away and leaning back in the sofa feeling dirty all of a sudden.

“Get the fuck off me.” I said, looking at her in outrage and then to Felix. 

“You can't stay here you know?” He said, not being able to hear my reaction. Why did everyone say that to me. My fingers played with each other, interlocking and breaking free. My head way turning to going to get Kira and getting the fuck out of here. But I can't. I can't get her now and run away, because this will always be here. Plus 13 months, Mrs. S is going to fucking kill me. Whilst I thought to myself, Helena had gotten up and walked towards Fe's sliding door, taking the yellow screwdriver out and stepping outside. Confused I got off the seat, grabbed her green coat and followed her. My hands waved to Felix who just stared disapprovingly after me, coming over closing the door and yelling “Ciao!” 

“Helena!” I called out down the hall seeing her walking just out of sight down the stairs. Pulling my black hoddie around me (Felix's stash of clothes), running a little bit to catch up with her. When I got to the top of the stairs I let out a cry, being shocked at the sight. Art stood there with a dishevelled bloodied face. He held Helena by the neck up against the wall beside him. She squirmed and fought back but his expression was transfixed on me a weird smile across his face. 

“You have a lot of shit to explain Sarah Manning.” He looked from Helena's face to my own, shaking his head slightly. 

“Art you just have to chill ok.” 

“Don't Art me.” He said, frustration and longing in his voice. 

“Let her go and we can talk about this!” He paused, not doing what I said just for a second. Then after looking at the two of us again he let her go. Without a second thought Helena growled out, slamming him against the opposite wall, punching and kicking. He fought back, but I jumped forward crashing into the two of them and using my weight to push them apart. 

“Enough!” I called out, holding Helena back. Art felt uneven so kicked out again, trying to land one on her face. She spat at him and this just made him more pissed. “Enough!” I shouted again. They calmed down, my hands on their chests pushing them apart. With tight breaths Art backed down, Helena still ready to rip his throat out. Still staring at her, I motioned for Art to get up the stairs. He resentfully went up them, and I held Helena back. 

“Friend. You get me, friend not foe!” I made her understand, but who knew if she actually did or not. She hung back though, watching us, leaning against the wall. Art stumbled across the hall moaning. I ran up to him jumping the last step to his aid. A horrible feeling f awkwardness came over me; he knew I was not Beth, that I was Sarah. What else did he know? He came here, to Felix's house, did he follow, or get told or something. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed heavily, eyes widening and then returning to normal thinking about what he could possibly say. 

“Are you ok?” I went to help him, putting my arms out checking with my eyes to see for wounds. There was blood everywhere, over his hands, dripping down his arms, his nose even had a droplet waiting for a push. He slapped my hands away. So I just stood there across the hall from him, looking at the sight before me. What the fuck had I gotten him into.

“I can't even..” He began. “Where do you even begin to make me understand what the hell that was?!” There was a pain evident in his face, as if even talking about it indirectly caused a pin through him.

“Art...I don't even--” I begah, trying to formulate words, sentences, anything to say. The jig was up, but how much did he know. I couldn't say anything, nothing at all in case he only knew my name.

“Save it Bet-Sarah. Where is Beth?” The anger in his voice ripped through the hall, echoing around me. I gulped, not prepared for this at all, still not having my shit together, only getting out of the prison this morning. How did I even answer, that I couldn't just say it, I couldn't do her the disrespect. But then again, I had taken her identity and pretended to be dead myself. At least Vic is out of the picture. He moved away as soon as it happened to 'find himself', probably found himself in many girls by now. 

“She's urrr..dead.” I said in a big expulsion of breath. Art didn't even look surprised he just looked to the floor, his mouth curled up at the corner. 

“I know, I saw the body.” He came out with after a second, his hands put on his hips and stared. Immediately I though that he couldn't have seen the body, and even the idea that I was on that slab passed through me, before I realised it really was her body in the morgue. He shook his head, a little bit of blood running down his lip. “What I don't get is-” His tone changed, softer, still pissed but not as angry. “How you are here, you look just like Beth. Exactly like her. And that one.” He roughly pointed to the stair case, Helena still stood there leaning on the wall, poking her face out of her now up green fur rimmed hood; exactly the one I described. “Triplets? The thing is I would love to believe that if I didn't find another body, in a gravel crusher in the new query on the outskirts, ripped to shit, just finger prints to go by.” For the next words coming out of his mouth he turned to me, hands staying put. “Finger prints matching one Kati-ya Obing-ger, who looks exactly like you. You, Beth and that animal.” Again his hand motioned towards her. She bit in the air, and he flinched a little bit. 

“Art you are talking crap, you're wounded let me help.” I pleaded wanting to change the subject. 

“They beat me Beth. No Sarah. That's how I knew you were Sarah. They took me; a fucking homicide detective was taken and beaten trying to get information. At first I thought you had nothing to do with it, Beth, just an innocent detective. You had your shit, we all do, but this... They kept asking me; 'Who is Sarah Manning' 'Who is Sarah Manning' and I kept telling them I don't know. Then they beat me some more.” I couldn't take this, I couldn't take anymore of this. It was just a institute, an innocent fucking mental hospital. But then again, as much as I'd love to believe that that shit was innocent, I was a clone. A god damn clone with at least 8 versions of myself. Totally normal. I shouldn't be surprised with this, but I didn't want to know the truth anymore. I just wanted to get my revenge on these people for doing this, get Kira and get the hell out. 

“Art stop!” I pleaded again. But he stood up straight staring at me, his eyes red. Suppressing tears. 

“No I can't! She's dead. She'd dead and you sick fuck took her identity!” He went to hit me and I fell back, ready to take it for what I had done. Helena grabbed him by the arms and pulled him back, pinning him against her and the wall. This was not like him, or maybe it was, I had known him so little but felt like I always had. 

“I'm sorry! I'm fucking sorry!” I said, shielding my face with my hands, shaking. 

“Alright alright, what the hell is this?!” Felix flung open his door, stood in just an apron and naked underneath. His head phones hanging around his neck, his expression wide eyed as if he had just seen a ghost, as if the one image he never wanted to see again was in front of him. Art stared back, never having seen Felix before, especially in nothing but an apron, Helena smiled widely at him. “What the fuck is goin' on?” He jumped out of the room, standing in front of me in some kind of protective barrier. Although he could not protect anyone with his lanky skinny build. He was loyal and brave I had to give him that. I pushed past him, more protecting him. I had got my shit together now, I had to protect Fe. 

“Fe get back. It's ok.” I pleaded to him this time, it was all I seemed to do. 

“No I will not, this guy is covered in blood and your shakin' what the blood hell is going on.” I turned around to Felix on his chest my hands in fists, my head leaning on him. Tears started to form in my eyes and I moaned out a little bit. He wrapped his arms around me, staring at Art with a deadly expression. 

“What did I do Fe. I fucked up. I fucked it all up.” Helena let go of Art, and he stood there calming down and watching me, confused as hell. “I thought I met my family, I found my story you know. And then this happens.” Felix stroked my hair and shh'd me. 

“It's ok. Come back in side. Leave this dirty man outside.” Art looked sour at Felix's remark, getting his anger back.

“No he needs to know. So do you.” I admitted, pulling away from him and walking into the house. Felix came after me. 

“What do you mean? What haven't you told me?” I was walking faster than him so he raised his voice. “What have you got yourself into now.” 

Helena sat down oblivious to all of the emotions in the room, anger, suspicion, sadness, confusion, whilst she sat there thoroughly entertained by what I was about to say. In her hands she had some sort of food again, sinking into the small chair, her boots up on the coffee table. Felix would normally protest but all he wanted was more than need to know. He stood behind me by his painting subconsciously protecting it with his arms crossed across his chest. Art sat down on the opposing side of the sofa, confused his arms too wrapped around him but more in a hurt and comforting way. Again I was sat legs apart, hands between clutching and interlocking fingers. 

“How about you start from where you stole her identity.” This came from Art in a calm and calculated way, not anger or fume fuelled. To be honest I was weird how cool he was being all of a sudden. Again my phone—Beth's phone buzzed in my pocket, I rammed it somehow and it stopped. 

“No, there is more to it than that..I'll say what I have to say and then you talk, its a long story.” No one said anything, the only noise in the room was the sigh of cars out on the main road and Helena's teeth chomping away. “Ok, so I'm Sarah manning and I was born some where in England, I am an orphan, until Miss S my foster mother and Fe” I looked to him just slightly not enough to lock eyes. “-Felix took me in. When I was 12 we moved to the USA, here in New York. Anyway, later down the line I got involved in some shit and decided to run away from it...” 

“Yeah 10 months of hell, no phone calls, no emails, nothing!” Felix spat in anger, I know he wasn't still angry at me, but this was the first real time I had seen him before I explained the whole twin thing before I was institutionalised. I motioned with my hands for him to shut the fuck up, even if it was a valid point. 

“Fe...when I came back I was going to see my daughter Kira and take her away, get away from myself where I could provide for her like a real mum. But when I got here I met Beth.” It hurt a little bit to say her name, when it happened I just ran, I didn't think, I just went straight back to her house and played her role, not thinking just doing. It hadn't quite hit me that she was dead until now. I paused for a moment, letting it sink into Arthur too who was sat in the exact same position. Felix had now walked around to the kitchen found the biggest bottle of alcohol he had and poured some glasses out, handing them to Art, who didn't take it straight away, to me and then to himself. “I mean I supposed it's hard to explain how you feel when you see yourself, but not yourself or a reflection right in front of you. Aside from wear and tear and clothes she looked exactly like me. But I was an orphan how could I have a relative right, or a twin? So she came over to me talked to me and told me we needed to go out for drinks. I was so wasted I have no idea what she said anymore, but essentially we aren't....we aren't exactly, not sisters in the normal sense. 

“Clones.” Helena whispered in a way that made the air freeze and our minds stop thinking for a moment. She looked excitedly from each of us to the next. Art took this for a moment and then shook his head laughing, then looked to me. 

“Clones. You expect me to believe that you are clones?!” His face was comical and amused but his words were dead. I gave him an expression I can only describe as confused agreement. But when he finished what he said he changed, really putting the pieces back together, thinking through everything he already knew about the German, the Ukrainian, the British one and Beth...he really thought it through and I think he must have understood. Felix hadn't said anything, just gulped his drink down in one, pouring another. 

“So yeah. Clones. Look I don't know much about this shit either. I admit I took her identity she had a cool life, but after I had known her for a few weeks, after I had slept with her, ate with her and got to know her. You can't blame me for meeting my damn clone, someone who is exactly like me genetically but completely different. She had it all. Then she killed herself.”

“Nah nah, that is not Beth at all. Beth would not be so stupid.” Art protested but I silenced him with my next words. 

“That is what we are trying to figure out, why she did it, and whether this Maggie Chan business made her do it. Even I knew her Art, it was some weird connection and I was there the moment she fucking jumped. The moment she fucking died.” The image of it, her body slamming against the front was burned into my brain the moment it happened (Aside from the temporary memory loss) and would never leave me until I died myself. 

“Let's get rid of the elephant in the room, Helena is a clone, not a relative?” Felix finally said something after all of this silence. Each of us looked to her, chomping away, smiling like a child would to all of us and then focusing on her food. 

“Yeah.” I said, thinking about that for a moment. What ever this was, we were all so different. “There is this company called DYAD, they are like an umbrella company having schools, research centres, universities and institutions all under their name. We think they made us, they researched and developed human embryo and cloned them. We are lab rats in some fucked up experiment.” I let this sink in too. “Before Beth died she figured out that she had a monitor, a sort of blind researcher who would give her medical examinations in her sleep, report to the DYAD about the results and never leave her side. She realised that it was Paul her boyfriend-”

“That shady piece of shit.” Art said. “Hot Paul? The sick bastard.” Said Felix. He had met him once when Paul had dropped me as Beth off at work, when I was really meeting Fe. 

“Yeah. So as well as being in this experiment, all of our lives we have been watched, probed, violated and scrutinised in every aspect of our lives. Maybe that's what drove her over the edge. As far as I was concerned though I didn't have a monitor, I was an orphan before Miss S adopted me, unless she was it? But she hadn't seen me in 13 months, she would be a shit monitor. Then it clicked, this whole time Dr. Leekie knew I was a clone, knew that there were others, that these people were real from my stories. Why did he want to know so much about them? My phone buzzed in my pocket again. This time I pulled it out, showing it to them in the palm of my hand before answering it on loudspeaker. 

“Sarah, where are you is everything alright? What did Art tell you?” Art looked to me at the mention of his name. 

“Yeah urr I'm ok, just at Felix's house with Art and Helena.” 

“Helena?” Cosima replied, confused. “Why are you there, that's where they got you--”

“Yeah yeah I know alright. At the meeting DYAD came with fucking guns and trucks and tried to kidnap me. They knocked and tortured Art. Helena must have been followin' or something as she saved my life. I'm explaining the whole clone thing now. 

“What!?” Cosima shouted, then regained herself. “I'm on speaker?” In a whisper tone as if they couldn't hear her if she was quiet she said; “Itch-ney on the clone-ey. First-ey rule-ey.” I smiled slightly. 

“Well that went to shit I am sorry. Art deserved some answers alright. He had been through a lot.” Art seemed to accept what had happened to him that day and bowed his head. This was all bigger than him, all way too big for him to comprehend. Felix had now came around the sofa and sat his bare ass in between us. His arms came around my back and cuddled me in. 

“That's ok. What is the plan, are you going to come back?” Cosima asked, a little high pitched moan in the background from Alison. “I've got to go back to university. Exam are coming up..”

“It's ok, urr we will find some place. Felix's isn't safe. I'm going to keep trying to understand why Beth did it and then I'll update you.” I offered her this option. 

“That's great, just make sure you aren't seen by anybody. DYAD haven't released the news that you are missing yet but every cop in the city will be looking for you.” Art hadn't been home long enough or out of their hands long enough to know to be on the look out, but De Angela's would be so happy about this. Finally a chance to get Beth out of the department and get a promotion herself. 

“Ok. Thanks. Good luck on your exam things.” 

“Thank you.” Cosima hung up the phone. I looked about to them. 

“That's urr Cosima, she's a clone too. A science geek doing like some evolution degree at Minnesota. As well Alison, another clone, soccer mum was in the back ground. Art shook his head. 

“Hold up. Need to know alright.” Art pleaded holding his ears shut. Fair enough, I thought plunging the phone back in my pocket.

“Fe, we need to get out of here. I'll figure out somewhere to go alright, just...check on Kira for me.” I handed him my number on the back of a beer mat on his table and got up. “Any ideas?” I said, talking mainly to Helena, who was still smiling. She stood up dropping whatever she was eating to the floor and nodded. I shrugged my shoulders to Art, who was getting up too. Felix got up, and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, holding tight, his head on my head. 

“Just come back this time alright. Please, don't run away again.” He said, forgetting everyone was here, it was just us too. If it wasn't for the fact Felix's pale ass was in Art's face, he might have found the situation sentimental. Anywhere is a better place than the institute, I thought to myself letting go of Felix and walking to the door. When we got to the stairs there was a flash of red and blue from the staircase window. Without thinking I ran back into the room, grabbing Art and Helena and taking them to Fe's bedroom. 

“Cops.” I said, Felix motioned for his bedroom window, with the fire escape as he pulled some tight jeans on and a t-shirt. I yanked it open, pulling the horizontal frame over my head and above me, holding it up whilst Art and Helena climbed out. The window was yellow from age and smoking so would shield us if we stayed. But I had no intention of staying, it was too risky. I climbed out too, jumping onto the high metal level, pulling the window down with me as I went. Locking it shut with a clunk. Below were police cars filing into the small alley way, but there were only a maximum of two or three, probably not even DYAD, probably not even for me or Felix. Better safe than sorry. “Helena, take us to the safe place ok?” I asked, whilst climbing down the sharp metal stairs. The various aches and bruising I had from the tunnel had gone now, or at least I had been too distracted t notice the. Helena jumped down from the bottom ladder looking around furiously in her own way. I jumped down too pulling up my hood, followed by Art. 

“I've got my car.” He said, pulling keys out of his jacket with his bloodied hand. It wasn't parked in the alley way thank god, but in a side street. Probably wise to not park a registered incognito cop car in a shady drug dealers alley. He checked the coast was clear and we all ran across the wide road, taxi's and civilian cars lined up at the red lights. I avoided all of their eyes. Helena's hood was up but her curiosity lead her to look. None of the drivers were watching her thank god. Just as we got back onto the pavement there was a cry of sirens down at the other end of the road opposite to us. We picked up the pace starting to run the small block to the side road. Just as we grazed the corner and pretended to look at a corner shop window the police car flashed past, blearing it's cry. Why were their more? Following this was big black tinted trucks. Fuck. We started to pick up the pace again, but Art's car was only two cars down. He unlocked it with his electric key and we jumped in, Helena and I in the back where the windows were dark. We just sat for a moment watching the vans and cars go past each playing their harsh tune. Quickly she put the car in drive and pulled off, turning in the road away from them. 

“Where are we going?” Art said, loading up his GPS just in case. Helena leaned forward grabbing the back of the drivers chair with her hands, unnerving him. She gave everyone that same nervous feel and she enjoyed it. In his ear she whispered numbers whilst he drove, coordinates to where we were supposed to be going. He plotted them in with his finger tip on the device and re routed us. We both leaned back in the chairs and let him drive. Out of the glove box he pulled some tissues and was wiping the blood from his face and neck. Each tissue he used he dropped to the passenger side. At the traffic lights he found some wet wipes from somewhere and started to use those, feeling refreshed and cleaner than he was. I just watched him, being able to keep his shit together after what he just learned, after finding out his partner is dead. Helena's fingers were pressed against the window, outlining building with the tips, breathing twice on it, and through the steam drawing them out. I just watched her for a second, somehow this was exactly what I thought she would be like. A docile animal with a childish curiosity and imagination but an adult like need to protect and defend. Maybe she didn't have a childhood, maybe she is living in now in blissful ignorance. As Helena was drawing a man on a police motorcycle with helmet and glasses pulled up next to us in the traffic lights. Art quickly brushed the tissues to the floor, and I grabbed Helena pulling her down out of the windows sight. The police officer looked into the back of the car and then the front to Art. Art smiled and waved slightly and looked straight ahead of him again, tensing his jaw. The police officer didn't look away, just kept staring in. Although I couldn't actually see his eyes through his glasses, he could have been looking right into me. The lights turned green and Art sped off burning up the engine slightly but pulling away as quickly as he could. The police officer was intending to go right and so did, drifting away from us in slow motion. I let go of Helena who was trying to bite my hand from holding her down. 

“Bad man.” I said to her, she understood and let go of her resentment towards me. 

We just kept driving for a bit, it seemed to take a while to get across the city. It was coming to the evening now, dark winter skies falling around us, illuminated orange slightly by the buildings lights. I was a city girl but it was still sad to see nature and stars, and not be able to see them properly. Like a veil of fake orange was around us. Holding us down. Eventually Art slowed down, pulled up onto the pavement and down into a small area. I looked out of the window and saw only old mangled storage garages. He put the car in park and turned off the engine. Now it was dark outside, just street lights and moonlight to go by. The police hadn't caught up with us or come on Art's radar so we knew the coast was clear. Helena got out first, Art had tried to open the door for her but she pushed it into him, jumping out and around to my side. Art withheld his anger for the moment, and ignored this. 

“Here.” She said, touching up a slightly moist storage door now around at feet, her hands explored its corrugated surface and found the handle, unlocking it somehow with a key she had on her and pulling it up into the ceiling. Inside it looked like an average garage with tools, her motorcycle was still at the house I realised then, but there were tyre marks where it had been. We went inside, Art did not follow, he held onto the top of the door with one hand, the other in his jacket pocket. 

“I'm gonna leave you guys too it, I've got to sort myself out. If you need me...call.” He said, before walking back to his car. Before he got in I came after him. 

“Thanks.” I said, looking to floor to avoid the sentiment. He avoided my eyes too. “For saving us.” I finalised, and held onto the door now, ready to pull it down. 

“Don't mention it.” This would have been a generic response but something told me I really shouldn't mention this to him ever again. Slowly as he pulled away I closed the garage door, dropping it carefully to the floor. As it clicked shut a light came on from somewhere, Helena was by a switch and an energy saving light bulb came into life. Under it she stood, her face contrasting with the faint yellow, accentuating her hollow cheeks and red baggy eyes. It was too creepy to watch so I looked away and to the storage. At the back past all of the general stuff was a fenced off area which she stood in front. I pushed past her, seeing first shelves stacked with random shit, dolls, papers, tin boxes, board games, old food, CD's, barbies. On the floor was a make shift bed, with old mouldy foam, below a sleeping bag and pillow. I looked to Helena. She really was roughing it. She sat down on her bed, really only big enough for one, but somehow I squeezed in too. Looking around. 

“Thanks.” I said to her this time. She smiled at the floor, this made her so happy that she flung her arms around me holding me so tight. I fought her off and threatened her if she did it again, she sat back in her place head down to the floor. My eyes looked around again, to one shelf with a bit of white shiny paper sticking off of he edge. I pulled it out and looked at the photo then to the back. 'Socrates'.


	11. Kira

Part 11

“Helena, where did you get this?” I asked her, fumbling with the picture in my fingers. It was it wasn't it? The picture I had written about in my story. The first one I ever wrote for Leekie had this exact picture in it. Although I had written it from Helena's perspective and so didn't write about or realise what was on the front. 'Project Socrates', I thought again. I flipped it over again, in the dull yellow light I could just make it out. From somewhere I grabbed a torch and lit it up over the image. A man stood in a jacket, a bomber jacket like the one Delphine had given me before we went in the tunnel. Behind him was a lab of some kind, though it looked like an old school one, with rows of brown varnish desks, taps in sinks deriding one from the other. On them were Bunsen burners, vials and beakers of god knows what. The man stood in front of these, a clip board in his hand, writing something. His face was not clear at all looking down. In face the photo was really dark, barely visible. What was visible was visible was a flag hung half heartedly on the left hand side of the photo. The material was some kind of red, but it was really too dark to see. The centre image was lighter colour, indistinguishable of what exact colour but the silhouette resembled a cup, a goblet. Thinking about how this related to Socrates I could only imagine what it was trying to be was the Hemlock cup. Helena hadn't said anything, waiting for me to really look at the image and take in every aspect. The bomber jacket must still be at Alison's from before I had the shower. I would need to go there once I found out more. When I looked up at her to get some more answers, she just shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. 

“Katija, it was on her.” Helena said, she was sitting there staring at something and rocking on the foam. Strange woman. Strange how different we were. If that part of my story was true, with the image and the name on the back of it, what else was?

“Katija is alive?” I asked, curious, trying to make it seem less obvious what I was trying to do. Then again, what person would think; 'you wrote a story about every detail of what is happening and now you are trying to see if this is real'. People just don't think like that. Helena shook her head again, sorrow filled her face and she looked down. 

“Katija was murdered.” 

“How?” I asked, it was a weird question one she would probably not want to answer at all but I needed to push this. 

“She was shot in the head.” Helena made a gun out of her index finger and hand and shot herself between the eye balls. “By bad men. I found her in car parked out side of Beth's house.” This was shocking, but at least not everything I had written was true, like some sort of prophecy. I brushed off the idea that I had some how predicted this and focused on the image. 

“Do you know who this man is?” I asked, in a patronising manner I guessed, pointing to the photo. I treated her like a child but it was hard to gage whether she understood or not. It was strange actually thinking about how I trusted her. She could easily go crazy psycho bitch and kill me here and then, but she didn't and I trusted her for it. She grabbed it out of my hand and took it closer to her face, holding it close and inspecting every last detail. It seemed as though she knew, by the way she looked at it in recognition. 

“No.” She dropped the photo to the floor, her mind wondered and she picked a barbie doll up from the side. It resembled her, with big yellow white hair in tight ringlets, dark roots and cut jagged tips. She stroked it with her hand, cooing at it's face. Aside from this scene I looked back to the photo, turning it over once more as if expecting something more to be there, to appear. But nothing did. I sighed heavily, putting it on the foam in front of me. Better to ignore it especially if it meant not bringing up something major to focus on. I leant back against the uncomfortable shelving, crossing my arms over. It was night, and it was cold, and we were sat in a storage unit in the middle of the city. Snow crushed up just at the end trance of the unit.

“What are we going to do hey?” I asked her, breathing out and seeing my breath in front of me. Helena moved slightly closer to me, then pausing looking around, then moving right next to me. Her face was overly trying to pretend to not be doing anything, suppressing a grin spreading on her. It was comical in a way, she was childish and scary as hell but in this very moment she was kinda...adorable. I put my arm around her still weary of her movements. She cuddled into me like a dog nudging someone for attention. It was cold and I was cold, but she was warm in her big coat and I liked it. Having no attention, no one to hug, no one to just hold was hard. The way she held me brought tears to my eyes. Kira is probably sleeping in her bed, Miss S tucking her in, reading to her. Kira would lean up on her arms and hear S's soft words and calm spoken voice, she would bob her head and her eyes would droop. She was protest that she was not tired, that she wanted S to continue. And S would, reading just a few more words, slowly trailing off as Kira's eyes fell deeper and deeper into a trance. S would move away, helping her arms down from supporting her head and lay her on the pillow. S would kiss her forehead, turn off the main light and close the door. Just the idea, just the thought of Miss S doing it tonight and not me, made my heart sink. My heart slowed and all I wanted to do was kiss her head and let her sleep. Or even just to be in the house. Or even know that this was hat was happening. Maybe Kira was awake, looking at the same stars as I could be outside. Looking at one and thinking of me. “What did I do Helena? Why did I come back to New York that day. If I had just missed the train or stayed an extra night in the motel, then I might have not met Beth. I might have spared myself all of this shit. Went and got Kira, and left with Fe.” Helena held onto my hand that was hanging over her right shoulder. She took the fingers one by one and held onto them, playing like a baby would. 

“Maybe.” She said simply. Her accent softer, not as strong as it was when she first said something to me. “But, now you are a part of a family, you are my sestra, and I'm glad that you came...” Helena began to bite on her own finger nails, looking at nothing in the distance. There was a tone that made me think she genuinely meant it. But the way she said it, totally and completely without thinking, the nature of it made it hit me hard. A family. I had never had a family before, and I guess I now had one. A very weird and dysfunctional family made up of people who were exactly the same in every genetic way but totally different. My mind wondered, maybe this could be it. Enough of finding my story, but I have actually found my...family. But Felix and Kira were my family, I thought on the contrary. Felix had been with me since the first day I met him, hiding behind Miss S in the house. I don't remember the first day I got to my home, just that Fe was away somewhere giving me time to get to know S. Immediately we clashed, arguing and shouting at each other, but in between she gave me the mother figure I had always wanted and resented. When Felix had come back he could finally meet me, his young 8 year old self scared, I remember him coming around her legs, extending his hand to me. I took it and he pulled me into hug, wrapping his skinny arms around me. Today, when he hugged me before I went, it felt like that. It reminded me of how we used to have it before I kept fucking up and leaving. Before I left Kira. 

“Helena do you have a daughter?” I asked, pulling me knee up to my chest, balancing one arm across the top of them. She stopped biting her nails and didn't look at me. 

“No.” She said, but there was something underlying, like this was a really touchy subject. But I wanted to push, before Alison had made a big deal out of me having a biological daughter and no one had asked since. I pulled her in tighter to comfort her a little bit. 

“Never had the chance, or don't want them?” I tried to put this as gently as possible in case I regretted asking later. She wrapped one arm around her stomach area. And her face was saddened immediately, as if the mear words she would have to use to express it hurt her emotionally and physically. 

“They took something from inside of me.” My heart skipped a beat. What did she mean, a baby? Did she have a forced abortion, was it a bay through a bad circumstance but she wanted to keep it? Or did something worse happen, that was unimaginable. But at this rate, I was a clone. That was more unimaginable than anything in this world. I let it drop and just hugged her. I could relate. It was a cruel world and some times a mother had to do drastic things to survive. I should know. For a moment we just sat there, I put my knees down so I could hug her properly and just did. The rain outside pattering on the cold ground sounded like small children's feet at a park playing. Cars trolled past in their monotonous life going somewhere but getting no where, stopping and starting. People talking in the distance, even music from clubs and bars. But all I was focusing on was the feel of another human being next to me. Just humanity at it's finest point. Two strangers, people sharing something at their lowest point finding comfort in each other, in the raw human thing that we can all do; touch. 

“We need to get these bad people, yes?” Helena said, moving her head to look at me. I pushed some of her hair away from her face to see her better, her red eyes, her hollow cheeks, a person caught up with the wrong people. 

“Yes.” I replied. But as always it was not going to be that easy. “I have a daughter.” I brought the subject back up, Helena didn't look sad, but instead happy with a small smile on her face. “Her name is Kira and she is 8 years old.” Helena wanted to know more and she smiled at the mention of her, maybe she liked children? Maybe she was born to be a mother? “I haven't seen her in a while. In over a year. Last time I saw her she was well, doing great in school...” I realised this would not be down to me. In fact the last time I saw her was just after I had met Beth. When I got away for a day, headed over to the outskirts to S's house and saw them working on something in the living room. The lights were on inside so they couldn't see me outside. I just leaned against the telephone pole, watching. It was sad, to see your own flesh and blood, your daughter being mothered by someone else. Even S who I had known forever. It wasn't right, but then again, I wasn't either. Helena nudged me to carry on. “And...I don't know. It's been a while”. All of this hospital stuff had made me forget. But there were countless memories I wouldn't forget. Felix and I thought we would take her out for the day on the town, we lived in a rough area so the only entertainment was loitering somewhere or being reckless so we choose the latter, stole a shopping cart and put her in it. Running away from the store being chased and not caring. Felix would be wearing his jumper around his waist over his jeans trying to pretend it was a skirt, with a white t-shirt, and I was wearing a dress with a cap trying to be pretend to be hard. I was such a tom boy. Kira would scream and laugh and we would just take her places, anywhere to get out of that house to pretend that we were normal kids just living out life. She noticed my face and hugged me back, tightening her arms. 

“We will get them for taking her away from you.” She said, not looking at me, closing her eyes and leaning on my chest. I stroked her hair and looked around. Something seemed to click in my head, like a cog breaking free from a rusted dusty hold. There was something I had never questioned about what had happened to me in the last two days. Something that hadn't even come to mind until now, where there were no distractions. Who is Miss Duncan? There was a sneaking suspicion in my head that I knew who she was, or that I had met her, or that I could recognise her. It was the way Delphine had made sure I had never met Miss Duncan and she had never seen or met me. Why would she do that? What could she possibly say to excuse not wanting us to meet? Maybe she was a force not to be reckoned with or maybe there was something worse than that. That would be where I could go, although it had nothing to do with Beth. The whole reason I am here was to find out why she killed herself, because I witnessed it and I could not live it down if I could have prevented it. But I needed to find out about this picture also, who that guy was. This was a thing that could hold lots of relevance. Katija, the German I had written about so eerily close to real life had this on her. What was he doing with it, why would it hold so much importance that the day she died this was with her? I leaned forward picking up the picture from the ground. By now Helena was tired, she had moved away from me, as I moved forward she pushed behind me, putting her head on the pillow that was by me. I realised this would have to be it for the night. The picture was folded up and stuff in my inside pocket for safe keeping, no bra these days they were restricting. I laid down, on the foam right next to Helena with my head on the pillow. I didn't mind the intimacy at this point it was a dark time for all of us. But the way she breathing on my neck and started to play with my hair was weird, so I turned over my head by her feet, using my arm as a pillow and went to sleep.


	12. Hacked

Part 12

It was a rough night, noisy and cold. Without a cover or a blanket or something there was nothing to stay warm. Helena seemed toasty in her coat and that annoyed me a little. I looked to her through the light creeping under the storage door, she was peaceful. Her mouth was open a little bit and a small amount of spit forming at the edge, and her eyes closed shut. She was probably having a nice dream..about eating. I shook her awake with my hand. 

“Come on sleepy head.” I said, wiping my own eyes free of eye dust and slowly getting up, using the wired fence to pull me, my fingers going white where they held on until I was standing. When I was I could get a proper look at my surrounding, the light from the door was minimal but it was enough. Helena moaned out, stretching her arms above her head, letting them drop to her lap as her mouth adjusted itself, her nose sniffling. She too got up, wiping herself down, and shaking around. I watched her, confused as to what she was doing and then figured she was just waking herself up. “We've got to go now.” I said. Where we were having to go at that moment I was unsure of. Maybe Alison's see Cosima-- no I couldn't Cosima was in Minnesota now, but where would Delphine be? She could probably answer some questions about the picture and Miss Duncan. From my pocket I grabbed the clone phone wiping off some moisture from the screen and turning it on. It was running low on battery now, I could probably charge it at her house. The phone rang. And rang. And rang. 

“Hello?!” Alison called out a high pitched voice obvious busy or worried, or maybe it was her natural tone. 

“Alison hi, yeah Helena and I need a place to crash, we need some information that you could help with. Is Delphine still there?” I asked her this whilst running my hands through my hair, standing one arm crossed over my stomach. Hungry. 

“If you must, but not for another hour or so, the kids and Donnie are still here. They leave for school at 8:35 and Donnie takes them. So after that...I suppose you could...'crash' here. And no Delphine has gone back to university with Cosima, she was only impersonating a doctor at the hospital. She knows her stuff well..” Alison seemed to trail off, what was her issue. 

“Urh can you get me to the university or?”

“God no its hours away. You can video link. Now I have to go by-” She cut off. Someone must have come in, there was movement on her end. The phone screen told me it was 7:30 now, so we had time to kill. It would be best to get there at 9, just to be safe. Helena was now by my side. Her arm had seemed to heal a little bit but I judged that on the fact no new blood was there. Breakfast would probably be the best option. But no money. 

“Helena do you have any money?” I asked, she looked around, scavenging about the shelves knocking things around and producing a few $1 bill's. There was enough for a breakfast if we shared. My mind thought for a second and then remembered. Fingers pulled the clone phone's pink protective case off and out fell $20. Yes. I thought to myself. It's breakfast time. 

 

“Can I substitute the mushrooms for bacon, and the beans for sausages and the potato chunks for jello...please?” Helena spat out the last part having forgot her manners. The waitress looked at her with annoyance, feeling like she was being played, but took the order anyway. I just asked for some pancakes, maple syrup and a black coffee. She smiled at me a little too long for my liking and then walked away. I hope she didn't do anything weird with my food. Helena picked up her knife and fork holding them in her fists banging them on the table. Her face was full to the brim of excitement, her smile wide as she looked around her. We had this booth at the side of the diner, not many people in it was that early but some sat at the counter where they gave food orders out. My legs were either side of the table my hand holding an empty cup waiting for it to be filled. Helena was bashing the table a little hard. 

“Helena stop.” I shouted in a whisper not wanting to look over to see what attention she had gotten. She placed the utensils down very particularly making sure they were definitely down on the table cover. She lined them up on either side of the place mat, then picked up her glass putting it to her eye and looking at me. Uncomfortably I looked away, her big eye magnified as her mouth bopped like a fish in water. I adjusted my sitting, favouring leaning on the booth wall. I watched her for a second, it was like having a kid, a very weirdly similar looking kid whom has no idea about other peoples judgements. Helena probably didn't have much awareness of what was around her, it wasn't a bad thing. I envied her. The glass plopped to the table, and she picked up the salt and pepper shakers. Before she turned it upside down I grabbed them from her predicting her next move and put them back. Leaning forward putting my arm flat on the table across me I chose something to talk about. 

“So how'd you know Beth? Did you know her before the rest of the clo—family or after?” I almost slipped up on the clone thing. Helena's explorative fingers had to have something to occupy her, so before she answered they found her cutlery again. I shot her a look and she put them back down like a child caught in the act. Suddenly she laughed, too loudly and grinned to herself. 

“Fun story.” She started. The waitress came over and filled up our coffee before our food. She took the cup swigged some and almost spat it out over temperature, before swallowing anyway. “She tried to kill me.” Alarmed my eyes widened, and I leaned closer over her. Our food came, my plate of pancakes and her plate of..meat. Slaps of butter melted over her browned toast, fried and crisp bacon rashers dashed about the plate still in the style of how they were picked up with metal tongs. Her fried eggs oozed yolk over the whites which provided the base for four plump pork sausages. Helena's eyes seemed to bulge out of her as she saw this ghastly sight presented to her. She clapped slightly and became distracted by the colours and textures. Quickly she stabbed her fork into a sausage smothered it in yolk and smushed it into her mouth. I looked away from the sight, choosing to undo the the plastic lid of the maple syrup cup and pour it over my pancakes. “Well, first I tried to kill her. She a cop. Was a cop.” Helena started and corrected through a full mouth of mush. “I was hunting people who were hunting us. Wolves to sheep. And I mistook her, she mistook me. Then we realised.” She paused, swallowing the churned and chewed mush down her throat and eyeing up the next peace. “Sestra's.” She whispered a rasher of bacon on her fork in the air in front of her. Her head tilted up as she said the words, letting the words hang on both of our minds. Then jammed it between her teeth ripping it apart. Avoiding the sight of her mouth I cut up and chewed another piece. Sitting across from her was off putting. But part of what she said was nagging me. 

“Wolves and sheep? Are there people trying to kill us?” I asked, swallowing the small slice and cutting up another one carefully sliding across my pate to pick up some more syrup. She nodded eating another two of her sausages at once. Carefully she pulled them away from her teeth with her fingers, dropping them to the plate, sucking her fingers clean. 

“Yes. Or they are dying unnaturally.” The way she said it was becoming her signature, nonchalantly and totally absent mindedly. She swallowed, already shoving the other half of them in and grinding. I couldn't deal with the disgusting way she ate so I tried to angle myself away, but still get at what she was on about. 

“What do you mean?” I had a feeling I had heard of this before...Of course I did. The piece of pancake went into my mouth from my fork. I wrote about this, I wrote about Helena and the other clones. How they were being hunted. 

“They were hunted, and made ill.” Helena coughed into her hand, showing what she meant. Made ill? I hadn't written about that. 

“So bad men made them ill and then killed them—where are they now?” As I cut up the last piece of pancake, soaked up all of the syrup and placed it on my tongue I wondered. Helena just shrugged, eating up the last part of the meat on her plate. My fingers tapped on the table and picked up my cup of coffee now cooler. My lips felt the warm liquid touch them and opened taking it in. Feeling my tongue buzz with sensation of the flavourful drink. 

“No idea. I get blood samples, I take to Cosima. Katija was the last. Except you..” Helena sucked the juicy bits out of the half tomato on her plate and snapped at the skin and flesh until the whole half was a red mush in her mouth. 

“Blood samples?..” I said. I knew what she meant, if what I had written was true...but how could I have known? Was this in memory too, or in my subconscious? If it was, then I needed to have more 'treatment' or whatever Delphine had given me. 

“To test for illness.” She said, cramming toast covered in salt and mustard into her mouth. Gross. Illness. Ok so they were making them ill and what..killing them off with this? 

“Who are they Helena?” I needed to know this, maybe Beth knew? Maybe she killed herself because they had got to her, made her ill and she took it in her own hands...that was one theory at least. She didn't shrug or move or respond in any way, her eyes fixated on some point behind me. My brow furrowed and I looked around to see what the hell it could be. Bright red jello in a glass bowl with a big silver spoon sticking out of the top. The waitress was bringing it over, her expression was one of dire need of sleep. She plonked it on the table between the two of us, as I pushed it over closed to Helena the waitress said something about forgetting to bring it over so here it is. Helena smiled widely, grabbing the spoon with her whole fist and digging at it forgetting about the rest of her breakfast, which was now bits of chewed meat that fell out of her face whole and another slide of toast, with the egg left on the edge. The jello came onto the spoon like a great shovel had lifted it, shovelling it into her mouth. She closed her lips around the spoon and pulled careful to get every single drop. Her eyes closed and she looked in bliss over the taste. When she had swallowed after what seemed like ages she spooned more into her mouth, then stopped taking more mustard covered bread, dipping it in the jello and with spots of red, and ate the mixture. I gagged a little, and reordered my sitting defiantly not looking at what she would possibly eat next. “Who are they, who are killing us?” I asked again, making the question a little longer in hope that her attention would stay with me for a while. It seemed to work and she looked up to me, no food in her mouth although her tongue still wiped along her teeth beneath her lips before they parted in a belch. Ew. 

“I don't know. Bad people.” Was all she came out with. I sighed and fall back on the booth chair, taking my coffee with me, sipping and watching as she filled her glass with a free jug of water already on the table and drank it in one, burping and sitting back too, having devoured most of her food. Our conversations always felt bitty to me because she couldn't hold them. But after last night, hugging and talking, I couldn't care how she ate, the crazy killing psychopath had a soft spot in my heart. She must have seen my expression because she giggled slightly and smiled her head titled up as if I was taller than her or a bigger figure. I checked the clock it was coming up for quarter past 8 and we still had to get to Alison's house somehow. It clicked to me for a moment how no one had questioned that we looked exactly the same, twins they probably thought, but what would they think about the accents from different worlds. Whatever they thought they had not mentioned a thing. I drank some more of my coffee pulling out the photo once more, looking at the face of the guy. The light from the snow outside and the dim lighting in here made it better to see in a way. The man's face was clearer now, a man must be around 30, maybe a little older. His face was strong, longer hair than usual in curls that he had pushed behind his ear on one side, his jaw had a small beard growing and his eyes were warm yet very serious. I seemed to recognise him. But if this was one of those memory glitches that I was having I really didn't want to know anymore. With once last push I drank the coffee pulled out our money that I had put in my pocket and left it on the table, grabbing Helena who was still attempting to eat her jello, lifting her up with the scruff of her fur hood. She protested a little but came. 

One we were outside my eyes needed a little adjusting to the whiteness everywhere, that was more icy than it seemed yesterday. My hands held each other to warm them up before going straight for the pockets. Helena pulled her hood up like I had just done, walking to stand right beside me. We needed a ride. A taxi would be too much and it was just about to hit rush hour, at least we were already on the edge of the city. Art? He had already done too much for me, being a taxi would just take the piss. Helena had left her bike at Fe's house, so if we wanted to stay legal we would have to get there. I turned to Helena to ask her opinion. But she was gone! 

“Helena?!” I called out automatically, not freaking out already but letting loose a psycho in new york was never a good idea. I didn't bring attention to myself, deciding to walk to the right where she probably would have walked herself scanning the pavement, the road the shop windows. I kept walking, occasionally looking behind me. A brisk wind picked up although it was invisible it felt like it was pulling my eyes out. “Helena!” I called out again, not loud enough for the other side of the street to here just in case. It caught my attention then that the police might have her name too, especially if they know I was not Beth, that I was Sarah Manning instead. I shut up, favouring the sense of sight instead. I came to the block end, looking to my right down the walk way first to check. There she was about half way, down she must have ran like fuck to get this far. Her great green coat turned to face a car. “Hel-” I went to call out and then remembered, picking up my pace an jogging a bit to get to her. I caught her getting her attention by grabbing her shoulder. She shoved me off looking around suspiciously. In her coat she was breaking into the car, unlocking it with some hair pins and some sort of device. Miraculously this was a car without the alarm system and so the door popped open her hand taking it and getting in. Alarmed myself I tried to pull her back out of the passenger seat but she locked the door and motioned for me to drive. Thankfully this early and in this part of town there weren't many people about so I walked around on the slipy ice road as she unlocked the door. Getting in she was already hot wiring it. It roared into life, there were thousands of miles on it so it was hardly cutting edge. It was even a manual drive. Carefully I put it in first, finding bite and stalled. Cringing I looked to Helena who laughed. Starting the car again I found it this time and signalled pulling out. Then it clicked. 

“You know where Alison lives right?” I asked, having absolutely no idea at all. We came to some traffic lights and she was just about to tell me, before a police car came up behind us. No sirens or anything but it's presence horrified me enough. I was not going back there. Puffing out my cheeks and letting the air go I moved off as the light turned green. Straight ahead in the road. The police car still following us. “Helena, the address?” I asked again impatiently. She recited the exact number road, postcode and everything including state and country..and planet. Just as she gave it to me and I racked my insane brain for where that was, the police car turned off. A sigh of relief came from me and I kept driving knowing where her house was. She was exactly how I wrote her; living in the suburbs.

“Alison, it's Sarah?” I called out, using the basement doors like I had before. She scuttled down the stairs and made her way over to the door peering around before unlocking. Quickly she rushed us in before any one could see. I took my spot on the sofa and Helena wondered around looking at all of the walls, her fingers trailing on them behind her. Alison slapped her hand from the wall, saying something about them being cleaned and turned to me. 

“So what do I owe the pleasure?” Alison asked, taking a seat in the arm chair, her legs together hands folded on top of each other. My legs were apart and hangs dangling between them. 

“I need to know a few things.” I grabbed the photo from inside of my jacket and gave it over to Alison who took it with just her finger and thumb as if it was dirty. “Do you know what this photo is of?” I asked, my mouth waiting for a reply my eyes hanging on her ready to respond. Her eyes widened as if she knew who it was, I moved forward to the edge of the seat in apprehension, but then she handed it back shaking her head. 

“No idea.” She handed back the photo wiping her finger on her trousers just to be sure they were contaminated. But the way she looked made me think she knew or it was shocking to see something that she had been told about. But it would probably transpire that he didn't use the cif whitening cream enough or that he needed to properly iron his clothes before wearing them to keep them tidy. Helena plopped herself down, sinking into the sofa next to me sighing with relaxation and yawning. 

“Are you sure, you didn't even look at the back it says project-”

“I have never seen it before.” She cut in. But I hadn't known her long enough to possibly know what she was on about, the little fucker. “But Cosima might know, if it is sciency then she will. And that Delphine, she will know too.” The way she said Delphine's name was with a little venom, was there some resentment, jealously, anger? I couldn't tell exactly so chose to ignore it. Oh right, Cosima. 

“You said something about a video link?” I prompted her. She seemed to remember and stood up abruptly walking over the crafts room and disappearing. I looked to Helena for some help on how to deal with Alison, but all she did was point her finger to the side of her head and turn it in circles 'crazy'...she was one to talk. 

“Here.” Alison said, producing a laptop and sitting on the arm of the sofa, loading up Skype.“ Could you text her to tell her we need both of them, please Sarah?” Alison asked this as if she was my mother asking me to do a simply chore that she didn't quite think I had the mental capacity to do. Bitch. I pulled out my phone none the less and realised it had died. 

“Oh shite, it's dead, do you have a charger?” Alison flinched at my curse word but brushed it off and got up, returning with the laptop again and a charger. “Thanks.” I said, getting up myself to plug it in. When I did the screen turned on doing a small tune and loading up texts and calls. I text Cosima the message and waited for a response. She didn't respond by text instead she was already on skype. Must have been with Delphine. Alison answered it and we all crammed on the sofa together. 

“Holy crap 3 clones on sofa, looks like a bad sit com.” Cosima greeted us, “Hey guys.” She finished with a big grin on her face, her eyes were tired and it seemed to be too early for her to have put make up on so she rubbed her eyes. Sat next to her was Delphine with a small pleasant smile on her. They must not have been free at the second I text as their shoulders were bare, they were sat on the bed and covered by a quilt cover. Post night of sex face? I thought Cosima looked good if this had been the case. “Hello.” Delphine added in with a small wave, her arm just going off camera. Alison coughed a little bit at the sight of them. “What's up?” Cosima asked. Alison nudged my arm for me to talk. I coughed too and ran my hand through my hair. 

“Hi, ur again.” I was saying this to Delphine, but also to Cosima. The last time I saw them it was a little...filled with sexual tension after weeks of not seeing each other. “I need some help, do you recognise this picture?” I pulled out the picture of the bomber jacket project Socrates again. Remembering that the actual bomber jacket had to be around here some where. I put the photo just in front of the webcam.

“Ohhh..” Cosima hummed, taking an image from the screen and printing it off. She clambered out of the covers, just showing us her body barely clothed in underwear as she went to get it. I watched Delphine's eyes lowered and watch after her following her around the room before she blushed and the looked the other way, avoiding the camera. “I sorta recognise the flag in the left corner.” Cosima called out as she came back to the camera with a bigger version of it, she pointing to the hemlock looking thing. “If I am not mistaken that's the hemlock cup, which means--.” Cosima was about to go on before I interrupted her. 

“On the back it is printed 'Project: Socrates' like the philospher dude.” I said, looking at the back and showing Alison finally. Cosima looked over her glasses at the screen in front of her. She turned to Delphine who had changed her facial expression very minimally. Whilst Cosima rattled on about the stories surrounding Socrates and his death I watched Delphine's face, how her eyes were once glistening had now gone cold as ice. Cosima turned to look at her again and Delphine smiled, and when Cosima carried on talking to us again the smiled snapped from her face replaced by a coolness. What was up with that? No one else seemed to notice but me, Alison was staring off some where probably thinking about the washing and cleaning and Helena was in her own world. “That's great and all Cosima, but do you recognise it?” Cosima stopped her excited geeky squabble about myths, I thought she was supposed to be a science geek? Maybe she knew everything? She huffed a little and sat back on their bed's headboard. 

“No. I have never seen it before. Where did you get it?” Cosima was looking at it studying the man, the jacket the lab, the flag. I stopped running my hands and rested them on the key board, then adjusted where the camera was pointed. 

“Helena found it on Katija--” I was just about to explain how I had written about the exact photo in one of my stories, but felt this would need to be kept on the down low. The less issues and factors there are in the equation the less can go wrong. At the name Cosima and Alison flinched slightly, they must have known her or something, even a little bit before she was killed. “Urm, but apart from that no. It just seems really interesting you know. Like why would she have had it on her, did she know she was going to –you know, so we would find it? It must be important right?” Cosima started talking again about the significance of socrates in modern philosophy. But I cut in. “Delphine?” I asked, addressing her directly, her eyes were cold but she was caught off guard, she shook her head slightly as if in day dream and smiled at the camera. 

“Yes?” She asked innocently. 

“Have you ever seen the photo before?” Some thing about Delphine was off, it always had been and now when this sort of thing comes up, she is quiet and restrained? Maybe she knew something, after all she had given me the bomber jacket and made sure I hadn't seen Miss Duncan. 

“Urrr.” Delphine said, taking the photo from Cosima's hands and taking a closer look, she didn't even look for more than a few seconds before handing it back. “No, sorry.” What the hell was she hiding. I took this as evidence for my theory of something seriously being up with her, but before I could ask any more of them I asked Alison to go and get my bomber jacket I came it. She seemed resentful, muttering something about it being a practical woman's abomination. 

“Sure?” I started on Delphine again, nonchalantly. Cosima was oblivious to our exchange, Delphine knew I was on to her, the small changes in her face and the slight quiver of her lips just made my theory more robust. “You know that bomber jacket I had on, it is similar to the one in the photo.” They both looked again, they had both seen me on that day wearing that jacket surely they would know. Helena looked at the screen this time and the photo, waving at them slightly before finding what we were talking about interesting. 

“Oh my god.” Cosima said. “You're right. Where did you get it?” She asked, I looked to Delphine, before I could answer she turned to Cosima and did so for me. 

“She—I found it in the room with the escape tunnel, it was just hanging up.” She said, this was true but the quickness of her answer scared me a little bit. 

“What sort of room was it? I can bring it up and search around in the hospitals records or something.” Cosima suggested already having minimised our video and was viciously typing away on her keyboard, the taps really loud through my speakers and her face very close. I waited for a while, enough time for Delphine just above Cosima's head in the corner of the screen to shoot me a look. I was taken aback. What the hell was that. Alison returned with the jacket, throwing it too me, almost knocking the laptop off of my lap. I put the machine on the coffee table holding up the jacket and comparing it. I should have noticed, it even had the hemlock cup on its left breast pocket. 

“It's a match.” I said, putting it on my lap and looking for a name tag or a washing tag or something that could identify what this was about. I really didn't know what this had to do with Beth, but it just felt important. On the right breast area was a name tag. Dr. C Morrison on a worn out dusty piece of sewn in grey fabric. “Hey, Cosima I have a name.” Whilst I said this I picked out the photo from underneath it and compared. Just visible was the name tag with letters too small to read, but just in silhouette seemed to match. 

“What is it?” She asked me still typing. 

“Dr. C Morrison?” I read allowed, wondering what the C was for. She typed again and paused. I took the photo away from my eyes so I could see Cosima, her mouth was open slightly in concentration and Delphine had moved from the bed. Alison was now sat in the crafts room doing god knows what. I think Helena had dozed off. 

“Oh really?” Cosima mumbled. 

“What?” I asked, curious. 

“Well there is a Doctor Cal Morrison, listed as employed at the DYAD hospital, but it is said that he was fired or let go in 2008, so what 8 years ago. It doesn't say why. Hold on let me check out his other—Shit.” Cosima said pressing buttons on her computer. Delphine had still not come back from wherever she was, I was about to ask but Cosima spoke again. “They blocked me, the fuckers blocked me. Restricted access my ass.” She said. She looked to the camera to what seemed right at me. “I was trying to search projects that he has been in using the key words C. Morrison and Socrates right, and apparently I am not authorised to see this sight. Thing is-” She began to whisper. “I can technically get access anywhere.” She hinted at hacking the system. “So that means they either have really expensive security systems that can hack back by themselves...or somebodies watching me. I need to go.” Cosima said, suddenly she was serious and already leaning back.

“Wait I need to speak to Del-” Cosima hung up on the video, the blip of the sound it makes echoing in my head. I shut down skype and sat backwards on the sofa. 

“What's happened?” Alison said coming back into the room having changed into some work out gear, a head band for her fringe, a sports bra and yoga pants. “What, I need to keep fit.” She said at my gaze. 

“Well we found out some stuff, the guy in the photo is wearing a jacket belonging to C. Morrison, and he was part of the Socrates project, but Cosima got shut down when trying to see it. So that means this is important shit right?” Alison flinched at the curse once more, wanting to tell me off or stop me but halting herself. 

“It seems so. Cosima does some very deviant things with her online capabilities...” She trailed off. 

What were we going to do now? I put the jacket to one side and pulled up the laptop opening the browser and searching for his name. He didn't come up as much until I typed in his proper title of Dr. Then he came up as DYAD. His biography came up on their sight with an image of a man with small strong jaw, no beard very serious looking with a mischievous glint in his eye. Younger than I thought, but then this C. Morrison could be C. Morrison Junior? I searched in C. Morrison senior to see what would come up. The man in the photo came up, in a lab coat though, a long shot photo of two individuals, from 1977 entitled project, but the last part was blacked out. I couldn't click on the image and any time I tried to search engine the photo it came up blank. It looked like a dramatic opposite to the one I had. This was white, clean a nice lab room with two pristine people, in the back ground however to the left of the photo where the hemlock cup in mine was there was an armed military guard, a hefty black gun hung in his hands. I took as clear a photo as I could with the shite megapixel webcam of the project Socrates and engine searched that. Again nothing at all came on. When I was about to type it into the DYAD database my webcam light came on signifying that I was using it. I made sure that I wasn't on skype or anything. I wasn't, it as all shut off. Frowning I looked into the light as I got closer it snapped off. Closing the browser and lid and putting it back I realised something. They were watching us. Whoever they were, who ever DYAD really were with all of this secret project shit were, they watched me through my camera. 

“Come on we're going to Minnesota.” I said, standing up and heading for Alison who did know of what just happened. We went up the stairs to the living room. She was doing some kind of choreographed dance to a DVD on the TV with a beat. Her arms flared around her hips moving in circle and she jumped back and clapped. What the hell. At least I didn't end up like this. 

“I need some money, I have to go to see Cosima and Delphine, like right now.” I said, making her stop in her dance, putting the TV on pause and pulling on a pink thin jacket with a troubled expression. By the way she didn't argue or complain or even ask questions I knew we could do this. Whilst she pulled her hair band tight she went into the kitchen draw, pulling out a flask of something. 

“I have some money in an unnamed account it's sort of an insurance, my way of helping us find out more about who is killing us off and why. I'll get some out...Where is my car?” She realised, and so did I. I hadn't even thought about the car, I drove it to see art and then Helena took me away on her motorbike...How would I explain it was probably shot up. Thinking on my feet I said;

“I will get you the address when I find it out myself, I left it somewhere safe don't worry.” My fake tone didn't penetrate her and I knew she would probably hate me if she really knew what had most definitely happened to it. But with money in an account she could get another one if needs be. “The money?” I added making her hurry, if they were tracking her computer we would need to get out of here right away. She grabbed her handbag and gave me her card. Then took her hand back realising giving me a card to an account packed with money was not the smartest move. Bitch. 

She took us to the nearest ATM by Taxi and dropped us off at the bus station, we caught the bus over to Minnesota university to the science department. I called her. 

“Cosima I am here at your block, where are you right now?” I said in a rush, Helena was still with me, I couldn't leave her behind, after all she saved my life and I didn't really know what sort of life she would go back to without me. Cosima seemed caught off guard totally, it was now afternoon and maybe she had a lecture or lab class or something, but it would be coming up for 5 soon, they couldn't keep her past five, I thought. 

“Jeez, hi, urm, I am in the lab at the moment.” She hushed her voice and moved a little, maybe her supervisor was there. “I get out in like 15 minutes, I kinda had plans but ok. Urm, meet me at my place it's just a 2 minute walk from here.” She gave me the address and I made Helena write it on her hand as she did, then we hung up. It wasn't as cold here and there was less snow, but it was still cold. I managed to bring the jacket with me though, it was really warm and useful with all it's pockets and elasticated cuffs. I zipped it up and pulled the cuffs over my clenched fists. 

“Well we are here.” I said looking to Helena who was completely neutral about being here. Again she had her hood up and her face just poking out. I grabbed her hand gently and held it in my own. She smiled at me, I knew this would make her happy like she had a real family. Because something told me Helena did not have anyone outside of the clone club, and I couldn't really blame people for being put off. We walked across the road, looking at the street signs trying to find one that's number were near Cosima's place. We headed off south some a main street and past a coffee shop. There was a pang in my head, like the ones from the hospital and I looked around at what could have triggered it. The coffee shop with its bay window and crowded inside slightly steamy on the windows themselves. This was the one from my story 'Evo-Devo'. I stopped and Helena followed my gaze at the place. How would I explain to her that I had written about this exact place having never been here before or even knowing Minnesota existent. 

“You know where you swear you've been somewhere before but you never have? Or something just looks familiar?” She nodded her head. As if by some coincidence, but to be honest I didn't really believe in that stuff right now, Delphine was sat in the window seat, drinking out of a steaming cup and reading some paper work. I would have to see her, she was so freaking evasive to me on the video and I need to know what she knows. Because god damn it did she know at least something. Opening the door it rang a small bell and the waitress looked up smiling at me, the place was crowded but no one was at the till. I realised that I was thirsty and just asked for a glass of water. Helena's face pressed up against the glass screen of cakes, chocolates, treats and sweets licking her lips at the colours and flavours she could already taste. I grabbed her by the scruff and dragged her to the window. Delphine hadn't seen us, she was engrossed in her paperwork flipping pages with intrigued eyes, she hadn't even sipped her drink since we came in, but it still hovered by her mouth. I dropped onto the leather couch opposite her with a thud and she jumped up spilling a little bit of her drink on her lap. Quickly and with an annoyed and caught in the act manner grabbed some tissue and dabbed it on herself in an attempt to get clean. 

“Hello Del-fin.” Helena said, sitting next to her, acting like a block. She smiled weakly at her and then seriously at me. There was something really fucking fishy going on. When I met Delphine she was a suspicious mofo with secret messages about wolves and...I looked to Helena's arm, there was a black wolf on her wrist...and then sneaks me out of a mental hospital risking everything. But as soon as we are out becomes this closed in secret person who is most definitely hiding something big. 

“Delphine.” I said in an overly polite voice with a grin sounding a bit like Alison. “Now that we are..alone, I need to ask you some stuff.” I adjusted my seat, sitting back instead of forwards and crossing my booted legs over one an other, un zipping my bomber jacket. “Starting off with what you really know about this guy.” I said, pointing to the name C. Morrison embroidered on the grey fabric. She looked at me, scrunching her tissues and placing her cup on the table. Before she spoke in a few seconds she had cleared the able of all of her paper work, not much of it I got a chance to see, having not thought to see what she was looking at sooner. She folded it all into a tan envelope and put it by her feet. 

“What do you mean?” She said, her accent thick and venom subdued. I raised my eyebrow at her tone and stared at her more deeply. 

“Well, what about that look you gave me. Pretty strong, what was that about?” I asked, making my accent stronger too just to keep up this façade that we didn't all live in America and shouldn't after all this time still have them. Her eyes widened and I sipped the water that was still in my hands, not taking my eyes off of her at all, putting it on a table coaster. 

“Urr..I was warning you, that you didn't want to know.” What did she mean. This essentially proved my theory that she knew more than she was telling everybody. Cosima had no idea and if Delphine was going to tell anyone it would be her. 

“What do you mean?” Still crossing my legs I sat up closer to her, confused. “Why don't I want to know?” What could be this important to do with some shitty scientist who likes to wear bomber jackets and his son? 

“Urrr..” Delphine started before leaning away from Helena was sniffing her sweater. With a grimace at the thought of this she looked to me. “Sarah trust me I am not trying to keep secrets but sometimes you can't know everything. It's for the best to not know.” 

“Then why do you? Why do you know huh?” Why did she have this privileged information. Actually, if this was DYAD shit and she was Leekie's right hand woman then this made total sense. “Leekie?” I said, she nodded. “So tell me now, I want to know and I don't care about the consequences alright?”

“If you want to know Sarah I will tell you.” Delphine said taking up some of her drink as I took some of my water. She watched me and waited for me to swallow before she began. Out of the envelope she had put by her feet she brought out some paper work and lined them on the table. “When you found the photo I realised that they might have brought back Project Socrates so I did some digging on exactly what it was. It was an organisation run against DYAD by DYAD employees in the 70's at the same time this other project was taking off Project Leda. Somewhere in my head I knew this, maybe just the name rang a bell. Project Leda is the organisation that brought you...that made...they made the clones they were the team researching cloning genetics, humans animals. They urrr created you.” When she said this I felt a shiver run through me, the scientists who made me. They created me in a test tube. “Project Socrates was the sort of anti-project project. They thought that Leda was completely unethical, illegal and totally morally wrong, and they were mostly right in a way. If you don't mind me saying.” I had to agree with her, even if it meant I might not be there if it hadn't come through. A part of me thought that might have been a good thing for Miss S at least. But then I wouldn't have my beautiful daughter..Kira. “They campaigned and got sponsors to shut down Leda but officially Leda didn't exist so they couldn't get any worthwhile legal help. And now they are hunting the clones down. Killing them if you will. At least that is what I believe. The man in your photo is Cal Morrison senior, Cal Morrison Jr is wide and alive in this world and I think he is... you know.” Suddenly I felt uncomfortable in the bomber jacket but I knew this couldn't be the full story, if they were so high on morals and ethics why would they kill? 

“Did you know about this when you were in that room, with the hatch?” I asked her uncrossing my legs and spreading them apart hands eagerly holding each other between them. One broke free for a moment to run through my hair. 

“Yes.” She said simply, but a little apologetically, maybe she didn't want to be the secret keeper but she was sure good at it. 

“So you have know..no believed for a while that these people were killing us, and you didn't tell us?” Helena sat up alarmed at what she had heard. Katija was murdered, her fucking sister was killed and if Helena had this knowledge she would have been able to prevent it. 

“Yes.” She spoke. “Why are you here again?” Delphine changed the subject quickly tilting her head to the side like Cosima did and questioning me. 

“Don't do that.” I argued to her for changed the subject. I sat back taking in this all in, so what if she was right. There were guys, well a known guy tracking us down like animals to the slaughter. But something on the tip of my tongue just didn't feel right about it. “We are here to ask you, and Cosima some more stuff. Do you know more about this guy? Cal Morrison Sr?” I asked her. She accepted my complaint and pulled up the rest of the file. It was quite thick, jammed with pages of typed writing the occasional blanked out sentence or well placed word. No names except Morrison were on here. I didn't want to look right now, I wanted to talk to Cosima about what she knew about DYAD. But I figured Delphine could tell me.....It clicked. This was really obvious. What Beth was telling me before she died, about monitors about Paul being her monitor about that whole thing. All of the clones have to be watched all the time. I don't know how this sprang to mind, it was probably because of the relationship Delphine had with Cosima. Delphine worked for DYAD, and I don't just mean at the hospital. I think she did a lot more than she was letting on for them and Leekie himself. But what a confidence, she just stumbles upon Cosima at a non DYAD funded university, who happens to have a lesbian clone, and happens to get with her. If it was the way I had written it, and at this point I was starting to get weirded out by the real life similarities, then they were in a relationship and not just fucking. Then maybe she was Cosima's monitor. I couldn't say it now because what she wasn't a bad guy what if she as good. She seemed to happily give me the Project Socrates stuff when I made her, and she would probably give me more when--

“What is all this about Miss Duncan. Why can't I see her?” I asked, suddenly remembering what the other thing was I needed to get out of her. She was shocked and taken a back going red a little in the cheeks. 

“All in time ok. This is really really not the right time.” Was all she said, and somehow I accepted this. Cosima would be coming out lecture so if headed there it would be the same time. 

“Are you coming to Cosima's?” I asked getting up taking my water and finishing off. She got up too drinking the rest of her drink scolding her lips a little. Helena hung back after what she had heard a sadness in her puppy eyes. Delphine agreed to come with us, we headed out of the coffee door saying thanks to the waitress and headed there, following Delphine's tall body. 

 

Cosima's door was made of thick black oak and made an echoing sound as Delphine pulled out her own personal key from a necklace around her neck made of silver and unlocked it. Surprise she had already got her own way in, she could come and go. But was that business or pleasure? Sceptically I watched her go in first taking in the strong oder of incense and weed straight away. My nostrils flared at this and half of me loved the fact Cosima smoked weed because I really really wanted to get baked and not feel so tensed up. Delphine attatched her key around her neck and went over to Cosima's make shift kitchenette. In the middle of the room was her study area with a big desk, papers everywhere bookshelves and her laptop with a cool colourful DNA strand design as the cover. To the left was an arch way to her bedroom complete with king sized bed ruffled and not made with clothes everywhere. I turned to Delphine, who offered me some sort of drink. I figured with all of this new information and stuff to talk about with Cosima I supposed I needed something. 

“Got anything really strong?” I said with a cheeky grin, she pulled out some clear substance but it wasn't vodka it smelled like rum. Not my drink but hey. Helena ran over to the kitchen taking her glass and swigging it in one, smiling like a child with candy to Delphine until she filled it back up. As she did the door opened behind me with a click and I looked around to see Cosima sneaking in an awkward happy smile on her face. She pushed her glasses up her nose and came over to me, hugging me. I tensed up hugging really wasn't my thing with people I didn't really know, except Helena. She could be right there was a connection. She let go remembering what my reaction was the last time she hugged me. 

“Oh right, sorry! Hey!” Cosima said suddenly figuring that she needed to say it, automatically she went for another hug and then stopped. She pulled off her lab coat and hung it up in her room, revealing herself wearing a black tight tank top, and baggy 'hippy' trousers that were all the rage in Forever 21, but hers were a black base deign with purple swirls that kinda looked like DNA again, nerd. 

“Hi. Sorry for the short notice and that, but I needed something. And you seem to know your stuff when it comes to computers?” I asserted, talking a glass from Delphine, who moved over to Cosima wrapped her arm around her waist and kissing her hard on the side of the head. Cosima looked up to her blonde heart throb and kissed her back, tenderly on the lips. It was almost like what happened at Alison's house and for that I looked to Helena who was smiling to me. Imitating kissing faces with her lips. The two broke apart and they led us over to a living area that I hadn't noticed. It was so Cosima, bean bags and pillows everywhere, some incense was burning on a really small flint left going, there was a sofa and it was a soft brown fabric smothered in coloured mishap scatter cushions. Delphine took a bean bag and so did Cosima right next to each other, it seemed to be there seat, they leaned against the radiator attached to the wall and put their heads together as if they were holding each other after a long while. What it had been about 8 hours maybe since we saw them on video? They kissed again as I sat in the middle of the sofa and Helena wondered around the apartment. Cosima didn't mind but as always Delphine's face looked happy and electric to Cosima but I saw the way her eyes followed Helena, suspicion everywhere. 

“Yeah so, after you went I did some research too right, and looked at the DYAD and the Cal Morrison guy, the Socrates stuff and then when I tried to find out about this other project, project Leda my webcam came on. And I think someone was spying on me, or watching me or something? Is that a thing that happens or?” I asked, sipping at the edge of the glass feeling the cool rum smouldering in my mouth and the smell igniting my nose. 

“Yeah, I mean I have heard the CIA do it all the time, and recently they have got real shit about it from the press...but with DYAD blocking me maybe they mistook us for the same computer trying to access it, instead of blocking you they tried to identify you. Who's computer was it, if its serious they'd probably try to track it?” Cosima talked with her hands, her drink of rum in one trying to stay still to hold its contents but her other was doing all sorts of subconscious shapes in the air to illustrate her point. I just watched in wonder. Out of nowhere she pulled out a joint and lit it up. “This shit just got complex.” She said, taking it in and with her breath out saying the words, smoke filling the air. I breathed in the smell of the cannabis and felt the after affects of second hand smoking. 

“It was Alison's.” I laughed taking my drink again. Cosima took her drink and a toke on her blunt and then laughed too. Delphine looked to her with a motherly love, watching the smoke come out of her mouth in wonder. This time to avoid the fluff that these guys had with each other I looked to find Helena who was in the bedroom bouncing her as on the bed; testing it out. When I looked back, Cosima's hand with the glass was holding the side of Delphine's golden brown curls as their lips connected, softly, then harshly wanting more of each other, but with an obvious restraint. Cosima wanted to devour Delphine. I could also see her mouthing 'Bed now', but she stopped taking and drag and looking to me. 

“Project Leda? Wait do you know some more about the Socrates stuff?” Cosima said, offering me the blunt across the gap between us. I took it between my thumb and index finger looking at it for a moment and then taking a drag. The hot smoke filling my throat and my lungs, I took the blunt out taking the smoke in for a moment to get it's full effect and exhaling the substance into the air out of my nose, which burnt. “Professional weed smoker, I like!” Cosima said a cheer in her high voice. A massive puppy dog grin on her face, but interest in her first question still evident. I took another quick drag handing it back and exhaling. Already after all this time of not having taking weed, the effects were already happening. I felt lighter, and my movements only so slightly slower. I laughed slightly and this cracked Cosima up, she laughed harder and me laughing. I found this so funny, she quickly handed me back the blunt and was rolling another, I guess this was mine? I smoked it anyway, falling deeper and deeper into a trance, the envelope under my arm with the project information in felt a thousand times heavier so I just sank into the sofa watching the ceiling which was covered in a pale pink fabric Moroccan style float above me. As the folder got heavier I cared less and less about Cosima's question and more about my own personal conquest to find out about this. I opened it in front of them and pulled out the first page. 

'Top secret: Project Socrates – Dr. C Morrison sr.' I began to read my mind transfixed on the words on the page swimming around until images formed in my head. A story began to unfold and although thee words they used were cold and objective I felt a warmth and relation to them.


	13. Project Socrates: January 1977

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a look back in the past January 1977, from a third person perspective of the events following from 1977 to 1983.

Part 13 The date 1977: Project Socrates

Cal Edward Morrison sr sat at his desk accompanied by his closest friend whom he referred to by his last name; Duncan. Edward was a family name and so was Cal, but his parents chose to swap it around a bit and instead of Edward Cal Morrison he got what he had. There never really thought that Cal would amount to anything, they themselves were just humble people with degree's and usual jobs in accounts and estate, but neither particularly high end and neither raking in the dollars. But Cal loved them, and they loved him even more because he could do so much for the family name. A scientist at the DYAD institute, a real life top end guy with his own lab and things to work on making real breakthroughs every day. Duncan slapped down his card in the middle of the table with a grin on his face, pushing up his glasses and saying 'Got ya'. Cal ran his hand through his messed up brown locks and focused on his set of cards in his hand. 

“I see what you did there. But I am betting you didn't think about this.” Cal slammed his card down, and laughed falling a little backwards at the way Duncan's face melted into a look of pure sorrow. Duncan chucked his cards to the table and sulked a little whilst Cal collected them all, his hand was already big but now he had won the game. It was just a silly card game they had invented together to pass the time in their hour long breaks between lab and research. Duncan was the real brains, absolutely and totally a natural genius, with a beautiful girlfriend or wife, Cal wasn't really sure at this point, and a mind as sharp as an assassins blade. Yet he could never win at cards. As the siren blew out signifying the end of break they got up together, putting the cars back in the pack and tidying the table to how it was. Their supervisor and head scientists was Leekie, but they came and went at this point so Cal never tried to remember his name. Cal pulled up his lab chair and took the cap of the top of his microscope, getting some more DNA cells and samples to check for different things that they were working on. He didn't like to use their real names, he thought it took all of the fun out of things, so he used nicknames. 'Pinko, the one that made your blood go weaker because of lack of growth of red blood cells', 'Can opener', which was his version of different cancers, it made it less serious. Because at the end of the day he would have some real persons samples here and they really had this stuff. But today was different, Leekie was walking over in his long tan trousers with his belt up high on his waist, a pinkish shirt tucked in and his infamous long white coat. What was more infamous was the hideous moustache on his face like someone had cut it too short at the edges, it wasn't even one colour, it switched between brown and blonde in places. Poor guy. He put his hand on Cal's shoulder and whispered into his ear. 

“Today we are doing things a little differently, come by my lab after your finished up here. You can't tell anybody about this. Just bring yourself.” Then he walked away coughing and said something to Duncan . Duncan's face lit up utterly thrilled to be working on a big new project that had to be kept under the wraps. When Leekie went away, supposedly only whispering to just a few more top scientists, Duncan scrapped his chair closer to Cal's. 

“Is this real?” He said, excitement brewing under his already winkling face. Duncan was only a few years older than Cal and it noticed. 

“Could be?” Cal was always suspicious of new work and ground breaking research even if he had been doing it for 15 years now, because they never seemed to get anywhere here because none of the work they did could ever be released. Lab finished up and Cal sealed the samples into sterile containers and locked them away for tomorrow. Leekie's office was the old office of the old supervisor before him, the one who went a little crazy and ran off to some distant country. He stood at the table, as the scientists all filed in. Duncan was stood next to his partner who was quite beautiful, they were close but not touching. Cal just stood at the edge of the room, watching from a far and not really wanting to be involved. Leekie cleared his throat. 

“There is a new project taking place here in the next few weeks and I need you to all be on top of your game. I asked you few scientists specifically because you are the best that the DYAD can buy and we have unlimited resources.” He tried to make this a joke, the new scientists laughed a little, but Cal just waited for what the point of it all was. “Although I cannot tell you exactly what the project is about, I need to assure you that everything you will be doing now, will be focused on it. All of your current projects will be taken over. I want your whole undivided attention on this. It is potentially the most ground breaking discovery that we will ever make. I will talk to you individually on your roles, you must not share this with the others or talk about it outside of the DYAD institute. All of your materials will be sealed at the end of the day and kept under guard. You must not take anything out and you must not bring anything in here at the beginning and end of each day.” He was serious, Cal could see the pure exhilaration some of the scientists had, pure fascination in what this could be. He had been on some to secret projects before and he could already tell this one would involve working on his own, in his own room, totally shut off and alone at his break times. Cal folded his arms across his chest, his hand playing with the beginnings of the beard he was trying to grow again. That last one Cal grew was a thick brown solid shape, but as summer was hot he shaved it all off, and then for Winter he grew a knew one, except the family hated it so as a prank shaved it off at Christmas, here he was, January trying to grow it back. Leekie was saying some more and was handing out confidentiality agreements to all of them. Duncan eyed his up, using his glasses to focus his wondering eyes. His mind ablaze with ideas and fascinating theories he could put to the test. Cal took his, giving Leekie a swift look and then smiling pleasantly to the guy who handed it to him. From Cal's lab coat pocket he produced a pen scanning the lines of words with it, making sure he did not miss a single letter. Whilst he was reading many had already handed theirs back, Cal was one of the last including Duncan. They both didn't go into anything without knowing it fully, but Cal could tell from the get go that Duncan was going to agree whether it be about worms or whether it genuinely was a ground breaking bit of research their names would be attached too. As Cal finally signed it and handed it back there was a slight smile from Leekie who's moustache curled up. He creped Cal out, Duncan was too busy freaking out inside of himself and grinning to his partner to notice. Although the horrible thing was in the agreement Cal couldn't even discuss it with Duncan. But hell if Duncan wouldn't spill it all the first day they could talk together. Next Leekie personally came around his table and handed them all individual time tables for the day, where they were stationed who they reported to when and where they could have breaks. It all seemed ok so far, hopefully it wouldn't be worms. Although the last project Cal worked on he was stationed in Ukraine, in Kiev working on some genetic coding in the development of illness and disease, the hereditary side of things. He only hoped it would be more interesting than that. Duncan on the other hand has always worked on secret projects since his first day working they saw in him what Cal saw; pure genius.

When Cal got to his lab room, he was right, he was on his own, in consolation his name was printed on a black shiny slate across the blurred out window. He clicked open the door, feeling the smell of fresh paint clogging his nose and the bundles of work mans sheets still in the corner. This was a rush job. He explored what he had there on a desk in the middle of the room. Sheets upon sheets of plan paper and lined paper, pencils and pens in a holder in case he needed to take notes. There were microscopes and some kind of container of samples and vials, from what he could see. There was an instruction sheet, all he had to do was research the exact DNA code of each of the samples and figure out which would produce the healthiest cells. Easy enough. Cal sat down on his desk and go to work straight away conscious of the time clicking on the clock on the opposite wall to him. At break Cal sat alone in a separate lab room, there were other scientists in the room but not Duncan or his partner and even if they were he would not be allowed to look or talk to them. The siren went again and he returned to his room grabbing some more samples putting them on slides and researching them, scrawling notes on paper.

Duncan was put into his identical room, his name on the door a desk in the room with papers some tools. Opposed to Cal's because there were no sheets or smells. Duncan put himself in the chair at the desk and got a feel for where he would be working for the next few years. His instructions were confusing at first, he was looking and focusing on genetics, the transfer of genes, chromosomes which would survive cloning. At the word cloning typed on the page Duncan gulped. Not with shocked expression but because he would be working on clone cells. He would be developing cloning. Although he was not sure at this point what species he would be cloning he hoped to god it would be some sweet animal that he could keep for himself as a pet. That was what people did, they courted got a pet and got married, then children. Without further ado Duncan read the specifics of what he had to do and go to work straight away. At break he was literally on his own in a room for lunch, except two guards that were patrolling the corridor. He did not mind he ate his sandwiches with zest, just imagining the capabilities of what he would be doing. The siren called and he jumped up, packing his things away and trawling down the way back to his room. 

 

“I don't believe it?!” Cal said, his eyes were as wide as they could be as he leaned over the table in his home trying to get closer to Duncan on the other side. Duncan was hunched over his bottle of beer a wild smile on his face. Even in Cal's own home he was conscious of the words they were exchanged even after signing the agreement. Duncan swigged his drink. It had been a few weeks since they had started the project, it had a name now. Project Leda.

“You better believe it. Real life clones!” Duncan said, drinking again his eyes shining down at Cal over the brown bottle glass. Cal leaned back in his chair taking it in with a smile on his face watching the ceiling. Martha Morrison; Cal's wife brought over some more drinks on a tray and took away the empty bottles. “Oh yes, you do know you can't say anything either?” Duncan said addressing Martha. 

“Even if I didn't know, I wouldn't be able to tell anyone. The words you say go over my head.” Martha joked and walked away from the two of them. Cal hmmed out loud just thinking about the possibilities. 

“So what are you specifically doing, at the moment all I am looking at is hereditary disease.” Cal then clicked why this would be important. “Ahhhh..” He said, cracking open his glass with the opener and drinking a sip. 

“Isn't this amazing though Cal, we are going to be a part of the first real life cloning.” There was a reservation in Cal about whether this would be a good thing. Duncan saw his and clinked their glasses together shouting cheers. Cal drinking too, looking out of the window of his house to the black outside. 

“Don't get me wrong, this is amazing. It is just that I am worried exactly what we are cloning.” Duncan sighed for he didn't know either. 

“Well we don't have to worry, DYAD is a perfectly respectable institute and I am sure Human cloning is not legal. To be honest I am hoping it is a dog, specifically a Labrador. They are majestic creatures.” Duncan drank some more. “Oh gosh, we have work tomorrow. Have to stay fresh.”

“You've only had two beers?” Cal protested with a laugh, but Duncan got up said his goodbyes, kissing Martha on the cheek and left Cal's house. “Martha.” Cal called out, she came over to him and sat on the chair Duncan left, a tea towel in one hand drying a glass. “I am worried about this.” Cal said, drinking more of the liquid, taking a bigger gulp than he needed too. Martha sighed and put her dry hand to his own. “If it is human cloning, that's illegal and I really wouldn't put it past DYAD to pull something like this.” She held his hand tighter not really knowing what to say to console him. 

“It will be ok Cal, it always has done and it always will.” Was what she finally came out with, her accent was English, as she originated from Yorkshire and somehow whatever she said just felt so right when she spoke. Cal finished off his beer, put his clothes to dry on the line and went to bed, kissing his wife as he did. 

The next day Cal was doing exactly what he had done the previous few weeks, sitting at his desk investigating the nature of the cells against textbooks of hereditary diseases, putting the healthy cells into one section and the unhealthy cells into the next. Always the same, the only difference was the cells he was looking at. He now knew that these were human, completely and totally human, children in fact. Where they got all of these samples Cal would never find out. Duncan sat at his desk the thrill of learning to clone wearing off slightly when he found out that these were human cells a few days back. He did not tell Cal just yet, he needed to find out more about what they were actually doing before he could. Cal was the type to react first, and with his heart and soul before his mind. But there was a happiness inside of Duncan that made him fill with glee at the mere thought. Forget having a dog or a cat, even a horse, he could potentially have a little child. He was already planning ways to raise the kid, not thinking about the scientific implications or whether he could do this, or even whether his partner would let him, he just thought about the person on the other side of this whole experiment. When the day was done he would go to Dr. Leekie and enquire about it. When Duncan got there he realised that the whole staff on this end of the block had changed, totally new faces all a little strange looking with styles of hair that were unheard off in this day and age. Duncan gulped at the sight and asked the new receptionist if he could talk to Leekie. He didn't have to wait long at all and soon he was in the old supervisors office once more, this time having to shut the door behind him. 

“What can I do you for Dr. Duncan.” It was still fun to Duncan after all these years to be called doctor. Duncan sat down on the leather chair by the desk and held his suitcase on his lap pushing up his glasses. Leekie was leaning backwards on his reclining chair, but instead pulled forward briefly stroking his beard and then putting put hands on the desk holding each other. 

“I really wanted to talk about Project Leda and the circumstances afterwards for...the clone cells.” At the mention of Clone Leekie smiled to Duncan. 

“You figured it out. I wasn't assuming you wouldn't but our instructions to everyone are deliberately not very clear at all. Half of this cases are just trying to see which scientists have the intellect as well as the intelligence. You sir have both.” Leekie's moustache curled up with a smile. Duncan had always shaved his face, except on weekends where there was no point, Monday stubble he looked forward to getting rid of. Duncan smiled at this compliment and the charisma that Leekie had had since the day he stepped into this building. Duncan was just about to ask the question again before Leekie answered. “Obviously I cannot tell you everything. To be totally honest I do not know everything. All I want you to be concerned with is why, we are doing this.” Leekie adjusted his hands and began talking with them. “Imagine a world with fast tracked evolution. Since Darwin's theory we have not gone very far now have we?” Duncan had to agree, we really hadn't. “But now my friend Dr. Duncan, we can self direct our own evolution. I'm talking about upgrading the human race as a human right. A fundamental human right is the right to survive. Well I want to take that one step further. I want us to really live. Project Leda is a test and you have passed; I want you to lead it, you will have almost total control. What I want to see are prototype clones with their own lives, own conscious decision making. But obviously this is an experiment and we are in the early stages. Without getting ahead of ourselves I just want you to focus on if this would even be possible.”

“It's certainly possible, Dr. Leekie. By all means I have read so much about this sort of thing.” Duncan said, regretting it immediately for sounding too eager. But he was now the head of the whole programmes after all. “How long would you want this to take?” 

“As long as possible to do this properly. But as you know we cannot talk about this outside of here. As far as you are concerned this does not exist. Officially this does not exist. All that we have on this all of the findings from all of the people working on this, are in here.” Leekie pointed to a tan envelope which was already starting to fill up. Duncan took it to review, Leekie eyed him but not with suspicion or hatred but with genuine interest in what Duncan would do with this information. Duncan put it in his briefcase amongst the wrappers and his copy of his favourite book then clicked it shut again. 

“I am going to take these home to review as I now head this, just so I know what everyone is doing.” Duncan smiled happily at the prospect, but in reality he just let out a small smile of a professional manner and got up, shaking Leekie's hand. 

“You should know, you now work directly for me. No one else, I should hear about any of the work you do. At the end of each day I want personal reports. Is this clear?” Leekie said it in such a friendly way that Duncan almost forgot about the suspicious way in which he said it. But then again it was a top secret project that even DYAD we denying existed. 

 

Cal finished up his break and was heading back to his lab for the thousandth time since this project started. Just before he went inside Duncan caught his eye coming down the corridor. Duncan was waving his arms trying to get Cal's attention, and he did. He came over and patted Cal on the back like they were back to being good friends again, although this was strained at the moment with all the secrecy. 

“Leekie just appointed me head of project Leda.” Duncan said before his eyes went wide and he became quieter. An armed military guard walked past. They were overseeing the project, making sure nothing was getting in or out. They even had checks at the front desk before you could even come into the DYAD bundling. Cal's mouth tensed up, his best friend was now the head of this cloning project. A part of him was rejoicing he would know the guy who developed the first clone. But all this secrecy, it was abnormal on such a project. 

“Well done!” Cal said grabbing his friend hand for a shake, they gripped each other and exchanged a look. Cal gave a look of hidden suspicion and Duncan gave a look of genuine happiness. Duncan said his thanks and the two shared an awkward silence. “Look--” Cal began. 

“No no, I understand. These sort of things are very straining. But when the time comes Cal we will be famous. I can't say anymore, everything about this project is in this file. I am reviewing it tonight to catch up. The beer's cold at my place thank god.” Duncan said, Cal caught on to their secret message that they used when encountering awkward situations to mean 'come to my house tonight and we'll crack open a few'.

At Duncan's house Cal knocked on the door and was let in by Duncan's partner whom he now knew was his wife Susan. They greeted each other and straight away a brew was put into his hand, he took it gladly having had a rough week of monotony and as lead into the dinning room where they were both sat. Duncan said his hellos surrounded by lots of paper work, pages of numbers meaning data, of calculations on his part and scatter graphs and tables. None of it meant anything to Cal at the moment. He pulled up a seat and sat on the edge of it instead of straight ahead. He swung his super chilled drink and let it go down his throat. 

“What have you found?” Cal asked leaning closer over the table picking up some work. 

“As my best friend and my partner for years now Cal, I feel like I should come clean about what this project is actually about.” Duncan said a deep worry in his face, he was always a sorrowful man, although his wife Susan was very beautiful and always looked pleasant, unlike Martha who showed her true feelings on her face like an open book. Cal briefly remembered their wedding day 10 years ago, she was spectacularly beautiful, nothing big, it was before he started racking in the big money. She had just moved over the ocean and they had to get to know the priest, once they did they invited all their family, had a friend make the cake, his aunt to the decorations and all the flowers were picked from a meadow he visited when he was a boy. Cheap, but amazing. Cal was brought back to real life again, Duncan had taken the pages of data away from Cal to his own side. His wife smiled weakly knowing what Duncan had to say. 

“Go ahead.” There was already a tenseness in Cal and he hoped the beer would take it away like it always had, never failing him. So he took some more before Duncan could continue. Duncan started to put the information away and drew out the anticipation of what he would say. “Human isn't it?” Cal finally said, all of the mischievous charm that had become his trade mark was gone, he was sure this time that he was right. Duncan nodded, his tried to remove his excitement so that he wouldn't offend Cal. Cal bit at the end of the bottle just trying to hide his anger. 

“But think about the possibilities Cal. This is no ordinary project this is the future, a real future for us all. Human cloning! We could create organs for people who need them, a new limb where one is lost a whole new body when the technology catches up with the idea. It is the future of self directed evol--” 

“Oh no Duncan you haven't fallen for it! You haven't fallen for that evolutionary crap?” Cal couldn't hold in his anger, but this was his best friend. Duncan would have to understand where Cal was coming from. Duncan bowed his head in shame. “It's not evolution its inhumane science. We came into this DYAD business because we saw a future in it, helping people, helping them 'ethically'” Cal stressed ethically before continuing taking in my beer to fuel him. “In any other world I would be thrilled to have this. But this is real life, there are things we would have to do. What sort of life would they have, a clone, they would just be a copy of each other and someone else. What sort of life is that, living just to help someone else. It's not a life!” Cal argued, Duncan was getting a little heated as well. His wife saying nothing just packing the remainder sheets away and putting the package in front of her. 

“They aren't real people Cal, they are just...they're just..clones.” Duncan was leaning closer too almost getting out of his seat. Cal finished off his beer feeling the slight buzz. 

“If you are cloning human cells these are people?! Do you really want to be a part of this Duncan. A real part of breeding life to end it?”

“We all die Cal.” Duncan tried to comfort himself with this information. 

“We are not cows to slaughter. If DYAD lets them live normal lives, does it end there? This is just an experiment they will need to be watched every single day, every movement, everything they eat just so we know they are healthy to use. Who will do that?” Cal questioned, standing up and pointing his finger at them. Duncan didn't move he just accepted everything Cal was saying. Duncan suddenly stood up in anger too. 

“Cal you don't understand! This is huge, this is so much bigger than you can even comprehend. Trust me this is bigger than you!” Duncan said, the insult just made Cal angrier. They were both never aggressive people even when intoxicated, but this subject was just too sore for both of them. Cal always had the moral high ground on each and every issue, he knew what was right and what was wrong. Duncan on the other hand saw the bigger picture, always seeing the bigger picture and doing whatever it would take to get there. Duncan saw this as a great opportunity to help the whole human race, and Cal saw it as an abomination. 

“There is nothing difficult in why it's wrong to breed people, real people to kill. This is absolutely disgusting and I honestly cannot believe—you know what I can, I can understand why you Duncan would feel so high and mighty about this. You just look at the bigger picture. You never think about what is right in front of you.” Cal shouted, his voice raised and his jaw was grinding in between words. His stance was ready to attack but all he did was point. Duncan's hand were pressed firmly against the table turning white from anger. 

“Cal we want a child. We want a baby.” Susan suddenly said, standing up a upset by this whole altercation. Cal froze inside, wiping his hair from his face and pushing it behind his ear. They wanted a child. “I'm infertile Cal.” She said, pleading with her eyes. Duncan just moved closer to her, and she wrapped her arms around his. Cal just stared for a moment.

“This is no life.” Was all Cal said before he thumped the table. “This is the end you know. Of us, it's all through now. I can't...I'm going to stop this Duncan like my life depends on it!” Cal stormed out of the room, through the hall stomping his boots and slamming the door behind him. Duncan just stood there for a moment watching where Cal had gone. His wife sat back down and began to cry. For a second he didn't move before sitting down too and comforting her. 

“It might be the end,” Duncan started, still staring at the door. “But for us my dear, it is only the beginning.” 

Cal still went to work the next morning even with what he had learned the previous night, hell bent on trying to shut this operation down. Still, stupidly he didn't want to go straight to Leekie because that would endanger Duncan and for what reason Cal didn't know. The two had gone their separate ways, Duncan had made that clear. Cal still didn't understand why Duncan his friend of years would choose something like this. A baby, Susan could not conceive and so they wanted it, but why they didn't just adopt was beyond him. Carefully Cal went into his lab, which to get to you had to go outside into the courtyard just before the arch. Cal resented this fact, now it was January it was cold. When he pulled open the door some researchers were in his lab. Before he could protest, one grabbed him from behind closing the door. Cal called out kicking about to get free. 

“Shhhh!” A female voice commanded and he quietened down when he realised it was his colleague Janet that he knew wasn't going to kill him. She let him go and he pushed forward hitting his desk. “This is the only lab that isn't being watched. This was the only place to go.” She said, coming over to him and checking him over for recording equipment. Cal let her. He looked around to all of them, there were only about 5 enough for a small team. He realised they had all come here following his message that he left over at their houses the night before. “Cal what do you know?” She said, leaning on the desk. The other scientists were taking off their lab coats and hanging them up coming over to stand around him. He took his off too, a sign of defiance. 

“All I know is what Dr. Duncan has told me, and if that's anything to go by...” He suggested, they all waited for further information. “Ok, we were right it is human cloning. They are planning on some sort of unethical full human cloning procedure. Not sure how many, not sure exactly when this is happening. We have to assume anytime in the immediate future. I told you all to come because...I want a team to find anything, absolutely any plausible reason to why we should shut this down. I want to present it to Dr. Leekie as fast as we can, and hope to god he doesn't go through with it. As you read in my message, it is no kinda of life for the purposes they want.” Cal said his hands gripping the edge of the table, his legs crossing at the feet facing everyone. “We can work in our own labs or here I guess, but this has to be between us. I don't mean between us and our families I mean locked into our minds and no one else's. If DYAD even get a whiff of what we are doing, it's all over for all of us. Careers, lifestyles. They do not want conscious employees. Just like they don't want conscious clones but that's what they're going to get.” He said this and everyone around him were angry, not at Cal but at DYAD for letting such a thing happen. “You know I am a man of morals, and like to know the difference between right wrong and apply it to real life, I like to know you do too. I have tasks for all of you, but obviously you can all know what each other are doing.” He took from his pocket of a bomber jacket he had brought from home, slips of paper with instructions. 

“Drake I want you to look at-” Cal gave instructions for what he wanted. Drake was more of a philosopher person not a scientists so he would be good at the ethics behind it all researching the laws and guidelines this country has on this sort of thing. Cal handed out more to Janet, Stacy, John and Dave before announcing his own. “Now I only really have one speciality which is genetics and diseases, so I will look at the genome that they have, well try and see what will happen if they come into existence...Oh and guys, this is Project Socrates.” The people in the room began to talk and filed out one at a time leaving 15 minute gaps between them. The name for the project had come about in his mind because of his love for Greek Philosophy and stories of Homer but also because of the morality behind his own view of the world. Socrates, or rather Plato who wrote about Socrates, believed that there were higher forms or concepts of things on this world. Ultimate versions of stuff that was never changing and it was the only thing to ever exist that we could truly 'know' beyond all doubt and exception. Forms of things like justice, morality the difference between right and wrong. Cal believed that he was sort of a philosopher, not so much in Socrates world because he had high expectations of philosophers, but in Cal's on way, able to see these forms of things and apply them. It could be seen as pretentious and righteous but Cal knew he was the most grounded person in this place. Socrates was always the guy in the stories who would go against someone else just for the laughs, he would question someone or counter argue someone just for fun. But for Cal Socrates name was there as a symbol of anti-DYAD, questioning everything DYAD were doing surrounding clones. Except unlike Socrates who did it for no reason, Cal was doing it because he knew that it was right to stop it. Only Janet remained to talk to Cal after they had all left, she moved right close to his side on the table. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” She said, edging closer. They were always close, but that was because they had come to DYAD after attending the same university as each other, they has fling years before but that ended years before. She couldn't let it go. 

“I stand up for what I believe in. I don't care if it goes against a multi-million dollar corporation. I will stop this.” He thought about how he would get hold of the genome. He tightened his grip. Janet went to put her arm around his shoulders, without being obvious of her advance Cal moved forward towards the door. “I need to get hold of the genome. I don't even know if they have created it yet.” Cal figured that it had been a few weeks verging on a month of research they would be no where near it, but it wouldn't stop him trying to shut it down. Janet got up brushing past him with her arm and giving him a look he didn't understand before she left the room. 

A few months later Project Socrates had complied some information about quality of life, the psychological side of things, the effects it would have on the psyche, the dissociation they would face. Cal thought these were all brilliant things except there was nothing solid. They needed a breakthrough in their findings, something that would make Leekie stop and reconsider his plans. But nothing came yet. Cal needed to get his hands on the genome. 

“I need to speak to Dr. Leekie right away.” Cal asked the receptionist, he noticed the man's weird hair style it was not of the time at all. But then again neither was his, the guy also spoke with some sort of reverberation like a machine. It was strange. Cal waited 25 minutes before being let into the office. This was new, there was no receptionist for this block for the last supervisor. He must have some sort of power complex, Cal thought. When Cal went into the office Dr. Leekie was standing behind his desk looking out of a window with his hands behind his back. When we turned around Cal could see that he had finally shaved his moustache and his thick hair was slowly beginning to grey over. 

“And what do I owe the please Dr. Morrison?” Dr. Leekie asked with a smile. I had changed out of the bomber jacket when I was out of my lab just to be sure no one caught on. He noticed my brand new looking lab coat that hadn't been worn in weeks but didn't say anything. 

“I've been working on this project for almost a year now and I haven't done anything more than check blood samples for disease in children...I was wondering if I could have more involvement in the..project.” Cal asked, taking a sat in the leather chair and sitting up straight to look appealing to him. Leekie didn't say anything straight away just watching with a smirk. He sighed and sat back in his chair. 

“You know Dr. Morrison I have had my eye on you ever since I stepped foot in this place. You are a brilliant mind, one of the best I have seen. But there is something missing in you. Your drive is not there that I see in other people. For instance both Dr. Ethan and Susan Duncan. They have something real and this is why they are heading the project you just don't have....something.” Leekie's words didn't make Cal feel bad at all even though they should, they were said so well that Cal took them and felt like he understood. Although he became uncomfortable when he realised. But Leekie began to talk again. “I like you Dr. Morrison, you do have something and for that reason I will put you in the team making this happen. You won't have the same privileges as the rest, but you will be working on the...the big guns if you will. Of course you'll need to sign a new confidentiality agreement for this to begin. But as soon as you do you will have your new postings.” Leekie asked pulling out an agreement from a draw in his desk with a pen. Cal realised that he would have a new posting and maybe not his lab that he already had. 

“Can I keep the lab I was given as well, it's just I really like it and for some reason, maybe it's location in the courtyard but it is easy to think in there.” Cal asked, Leekie didn't notice the rashness in his voice and turned to the window as he handed over the paper. 

“Oh of course Dr. Morrison we need our sharpest minds.” Leekie said with a smile. 

In 1980 they were still working on what genome they would use. This whole operation was top secret, they had aimed for to have at least found the perfect sequence by now but all of them seemed to have issues, heart problems, organ issues, bone structure; whatever they got they weren't happy with. Duncan knew that Cal had not come here for the purpose of cloning, he knew there was something else. But like Cal had not gone to Leekie as soon as he found out Duncan wasn't going to ruin their careers for the sake of disagreement. Plus the future of his family was on the line. In 1983 they had a breakthrough they had found a genome that seemed to work right, they tested and tested for disease already present, already there they had found nothing. Duncan would stay hours and hours after work in the new lab they all shared together working on a sequence. After hours had finished, Cal would go back to his lab, meet up with his partners and tell them the latest developments. When they found out that the genome was up and running it was a crisis point. 

“I don't know what to say at present they can't find any health faults with it, as far as they are concerned all there is is a healthy genome which they can use. Except at present the cloning process isn't perfected. But...” Cal started to become very serious. “DYAD has virtually unlimited funds, the technology will be available in the next few years. I'm thinking the latest 1984-1990.” Cal moved around the room his hand stroking his beard which had grown dramatically and was now blanketing his lower face, his strong thin nose poking out, his bright blue eyes contrasting the deep brown. Janet stepped forward, she had become his right hand woman, taking charge of operations when Cal was working with Duncan. “Before anything we need to get the genome to find a fault with it. There is something they are not telling me and I need to know what.” Cal pulled on his bomber jacket whipping the bits and pieces off of it that had accumulated after he left it on his desk. From the pocket it brought out a drawing he had been working on. It was just a scrap of paper, but it contained their symbol. He showed it around, giving a chance for the 4 or 5 of them to see it. They didn't understand it at first and Cal didn't exactly expect them too either. “It's the Hemlock cup.” Cal said expecting them to understand straight away with a look of hope under his furrowed brow. “It's what Socrates was supposed to have consumed the poison out of him that killed him. He was tried against the state for 'corruption' but really he was just trying to show the world what the truth was, and show the people that they can think for themselves and not just consume...and I think this is right for us because I think we are doing a good thing. Even if we get caught and this all goes to hell, I feel like we are doing the right thing here. We are stopping lives from being exploited and manipulated to serve a business idea.” When Cal said this people seemed to agree. The next time they all met in his lab Cal had made his design into a flag, hanging it on the back of the door, in case someone came in they wouldn't see it straight away. Janet was always at his side, touching his hip or hand accidentally when she left, always a look of something in her eyes, a cheekiness. 

Cal stares at the words on the sheet, 'infertile'. For a minute or two he can't believe it, he couldn't believe they would do this after all they were doing already. But then he realised they would not want prototype clones breeding and having kids of there own. God only knows what would happen. Cal thought that maybe if it became so unethical it could magically become ethical, but he doubted this very much. He slams the page down on the lab desk again, as Duncan and three others leave just for a moment. One person is left with Susan and himself. Cal turns to her and slides over the sheet. She looks nervous her hair was a little askew and her eyes looked tired. This was a hard research project, embryo's died, they didn't work, or they wouldn't bond. It must be hard working on new life when her own couldn't create it. She picks it up blinking the clear her eyes and then reads it. Her mouth quivers slightly. 

“Did you know about this?” Cal asked her his eyes questioning, his beard now growing slower as it got to its perfect length. She put it down on the desk top. 

“Yes.” She said trying to gather herself together and act professionally. Susan looked around to the door to make sure no one was going to come in any time soon. “It wasn't my idea.” This did not surprise Cal at all, why would she do that, it would be emotional torture. “Duncan he designed it, and it makes sense I suppose. Why would you want them to reproduce, they are an experiment.” Her voice was distant as if she had drilled it into her head enough time it would be ok to say out loud. Cal was outraged, he was so angry that she had been made to accept this. What the hell was wrong with Duncan. They must have done something because Duncan was not this type of person. 

“Why would you be ok with this Sue, after all you have been through?” Cal said, he knew he had struck a nerve she pushed the page right over to him and tried to walk away but he grabbed her by the arm. “I can fix this Susan. I can make this better. Come on, you've been through this why would you want to put some one else a human being through it too?” Cal was really on edge with this but he knew it could go one of two ways, she could agree with him and talk Duncan out of it or hand it over, or she could get even more tight up focusing on the science and not her emotions. It would be the former. 

“How could you?” Susan said, her eyes demeaning and cool but her voice heartbroken and soft. He put his hand on hers and looked her straight in the eyes. 

“Give me the genome.”

 

Cal slammed his ass down on his chair in his own lab, it gave a little but he didn't worry grabbing the information that he had and beginning research on it the only way he knew how. Microscopes and text books, endless notes scrawled onto paper. He remembered to write the whole sequence down if anything should happen. It was shady at this place. After a few nights he had written it all down, endlessly staying up writing, hiding it under his desk taped to the top in case anyone came looking. Then he would peel it off put it on his desk and investigate some more. It was one night after staying 5 hours later than normal that his first breakthrough came. 

“This is it.” Cal said again leaning on his desk and facing the others. “I managed to get hold of the genome and I have found the thing that will make this case solid.” Janet looked hopeful the others did too. This would be the thing that made their case impact higher up in the corporation. This would cause the whole thing to collapse. He paused thinking about how to exactly phrase this, not knowing the scientists working for him well enough to know how they would be affected. “The genome is coded to be infertile.” He said, Janet stared at him in a sort of unsurprised confusion. “But it's not just that. The thing that makes it infertile isn't the coding specifically, its a disease. It's a disease that starts in the uterus and spreads to the rest of the body. I haven't seen it, its not cancer or anything like that. I can't really tell you what it is, as a specialist I don't know. But the point is, the icing on the cake is that DYAD is funding a cloning project that will create humans that at some point in their life will develop a horrible debilitating disease and die. If that doesn't shut this down, nothing will.” The face of the young group lit up, Janet crossed her arms around her chest an watched with a keen eye. Cal noticed this and looked to her with an enquiring look. Mostly asking her what it was for with his eyes. She looked past him to the group leaving and waited for the last sap to close the door. Janet uncrossed her arms and stood at the feet of Cal making them move a part slightly. Her eyes were shiny and hiding something, there was a small smirk on her face and it made Cal uncomfortable.

“You really think this will work?” She said there was a depth in her voice that Cal had not heard of before. There was always a depth when she spoke to him anyway. Always an annoying pitch to others. Cal was tense, she would probably try something again. Janet had always tried something on at one point, one day it was just a kiss and Cal had felt so guilty about it that he went home and slept with Martha. The next time it was an inappropriate touch. All of these things he consented to because he was attracted to her. She was stunning, a real black beauty with gorgeous brown eyes and thick styled black hair. A perfect contrast to Martha with pale white skin and thin blonde hair. An after all these long nights Cal was pent up. He gulped. 

“I do.” He managed to get out whilst she edged ever so closer to him. She had already taken off her lab coat, favouring her long flared skirt and a tight white long sleeve shirt. “I think if we do it the right way Leekie couldn't possibly let it happen. He is a human, he has to have some kind of..feeling.” He gulped again his Adams apple moving in his thin neck. Janet saw his reaction to her advances and move a little closer to him. He hated her, but at this moment in time she was showing her affection. 

“I believe in you, Cal.” She said, unbuttoning her shirt one button at a time. Cal looked away his brow furrowed and his eyes darting anywhere but at her. His fists gripped the table turning white. This was so wrong, he had a wife at home whom he loved. But she had been ill for a few weeks with some Russian flu and so wasn't that active and when he did get home all they exchanged were a hugs and looks. Janet had taken her top completely off and pulled her arms out chucking it to him. Cal grabbed it catching her delicious scent and dropped it to the floor a little reluctantly. The smell caught his attention but he couldn't think about it too much, his head was clouded by want and he couldn't think straight. “You're such a strong man, Cal.” Janet said un-clipping her bran and letting it fall. Cal looked at her and moaned out like a groan of a tiger being teased by it's prey. Slowly with a smirk on her face she shimmied up her skirt above her knee's to her thighs and came over to him. Cal's eyes fell from the perky black breasts and then to her wide thighs. One hand came up to his face and stroked it teasing his lip before trailing down his beard, to his neck, his chest to his belly button over his clothes. His eyes followed it, as it stopped just on his trouser bottoms he looked to her big brown eyes. “Strong.” She said again, he knew now she was not talking about his morals. In this moment he felt horrific his morals gone out of the window because of some base human desire, but he also felt like a grenade about to explode if he didn't do it right now. Fuck morals, he thought in a way that made his insides burn. She moved his legs and climbed onto his waist to straddle him. With the force on his core he moaned out again and she smiled her white teeth mesmerising him. Blue connected with brown as her fingers undid it trousers and pulled the down. Already he was hard, and she could see, smiling wildly at him. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see what she would do, scrunching up tight and pretending this was not real. Although his core buzzed with excitement he could feel his pulse accelerating with every tender touch of her fingers. As she took it in her hand he let out a groan tilting his head up to the ceiling not seeing anything just feeling. But the worst part, was that his eyes were not seeing so his other senses were heightened. She grinded into him, making him crave it more before she gave him everything. Her hands started to rub its throbbing shaft and he opened his mouth breathing heavily, wanting it to stop but wanting it to never end. Just as she was getting her self ready she rubbed along her core, exciting herself, a small laugh muffled in a moan escaped from her mouth as she closed her eyes too. Cal felt his tip teased by her core, feeling the moist surface hot surface. He bit his lip hard and the pain cooled him down a little. She saw this and put her whole hand on his core, leading it to the entrance of her core like a lion to water and guiding it in with a slow precision. Cal couldn't wait, he moaned out and breathing out. His head leaned forward in her neck and he began to kiss her as her body slowly rose up and down. With each, single, pulse, his heart beat faster, his body grew tenser. He snapped flashing his eyes open, grabbing her by the waist and lifting her up, his cock still locked inside her. She let out another moaning laugh her breathing heavy as he span her around his with muscle, pushing her on the desk clearing it with her arms. A microscope smashing to the floor and he pushed her down on it. With a thud she fell back, holding onto his hips. He positioned her and controlled her body, just on the edge so he could fuck her. Cal's hands held onto her dark skin as he thrust inside. Quickly pulling his trousers down more to get more movement, and going back, his full attention on her. He didn't look her in the eyes, but she was staring right at his cock inside of her. His pace got faster, he could feel his whole core turning rock solid like all of him was trying to get out but his body but his body was keeping all of him in. He closed his eyes again trying to pretend it was Martha, trying to pretend it was his wife below him taking it. When Janet called out his name as he thrust deeper and harder, his hand flew to her mouth, holding it shut. This time he opened his eyes to see her absorbing brown eyes staring back. He closed them again ashamed of all of it. But suddenly forgetting as he felt himself let go. His thrusting slowly immediately, and his legs went weak as his core shot out filling her. For a moment he just rested in her, letting himself go limp and staring at the surroundings. Before he jumped out of her grabbing some tissues from a tissue box and wiping himself clean. At the sight of the woman that was not his wife laying naked apart from a skirt on his desk legs spread and core throbbing he felt sick, almost gagging. He grabbed the hems of his trousers yanking them up and throwing the tissues in the bin. Disgusted he did his trousers back up and began to grab Janet's hands. She protested moaning out wanting to lay there for him to see her but he never wanted to see her again. She began to stroke his cheek away before he grabbed her arms and pulled her off the desk, his hand straightened her skirt and picked up her things. Regardless of the camera's or recording equipment he grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and chucked her outside. She protested screaming out, but no harm was done to her, except that she wasn't finished off like she wanted. As soon as the door slammed shut tears filled up Cal's eyes. He was ashamed, totally and brutally ashamed. He grabbed what he could of his work about the illness, shoved them in his briefcase and sat on his chair exhausted. He itched his crotch slightly, he felt a horrible sense of relief in his whole body, but it was wrong. He felt violated even though he wanted it. He did not regret the satisfaction of finally getting fucked but it was wrong it was not the right person. He had always admired Janet for her mind, being a top end scientists in a racist world impressed him. He had privilege and she did not, and in most ways had done better than him. Cal just hoped that one day it wouldn't matter what skin tone you had, just who you were and what you did that counts. When his breathing finally calmed and his head could think straight his mind was on one thing. Martha. 

Cal rushed home an unexpectedly wanted to sleep with Martha straight away. She had recovered from the flu and for the first time in weeks she was aroused. She was aroused by the way he took her around her waist up to the bedroom, planted her on the bed and kissed her hard, not letting her do any of the work. He was her slave. Martha laid back on the bed pushing herself deeper into the pillows and grinning to nothing in her immediate eye line as Cal kissed down her neck to her exposed breasts, playing with them until she moaned and then working his way to her core, finishing her off and then fucking her like the animal he was. She was thrilled. 

In the next few weeks Cal complied all of the evidence he needed from his team to go forward to Leekie. He grabbed it all in an envelope and was on his. Again she had to wait half an hour just to be able to go in the door that was literally to his right as he sat on a chair outside of it. Leekie opened it this time and with no hand shake and personally led him in. Janet was sat in his office her lab coat on, her hair perfectly shaped and her legs crossed. She looked at me with a sour expression no smiling or laughing like she had done the last time they encountered each other. Cal was shocked, for a moment just staring at her his head going wild with what she could be doing there. 

“Please sit down, Dr. Morrison we have something we need to talk about.” Leekie sat behind his desk a new moustache growing and extending his arm to a new chair that was by him. Cal took the seat his briefcase on his lap first looking to Janet who was looking down and then to Leekie. “Now Dr. Morrison it is always a tough thing to have to say but, Dr. Vandikamp has accused you of being sexually violating her in your office a few weeks back.” Cal went to protest almost jumping out of his seat his eyes wild at her and at what she would have said. She was still looking down. “Now Dr I know you may have something to say about this, but from a professional point of view we are going to have to take her side. There is footage of her being thrown out of your room half naked in the court yard. We need no explanation. You are affective immediately being made redundent” Dr. Leekie said with an honest to god sadness in his face and words. Janet still looked down, avoiding their eyes. Cal was angry standing up from his seat and staring at him not even registering Janet. 

“She came on to me, she forced me to have sex with--” Cal cried out, point to her hardly with his arm. 

“Now now, I don't want to hear any of it. I have said all I need to say, and the point still stands. Now is there anything you want to say to her?” Dr. Leekie offered, she looked up with a smirk on her face right into Cal's eyes. Cal's face went bright red. 

“I am sorry that we had sex, but it was consensual on both parts...I have a wife you know! We are thinking about family and I need this job! I need to work on this project!” Leekie was about to stop him talking when Cal ignored Janet and slammed the file he was holding on his desk. Leekie looked at it and so did Janet. “Have this! It is to shut down Project Leda. I have sent two copies to lawyers around the city and if you don't believe my story that this was completely consensual and there was no violation of law then they will go live.” Cal said, he didn't really have the copies at different lawyers but he wanted to see Leekie's reaction. 

“Well then.” Leekie took the file opening it up. 

“There is a disease in built in the clones DNA which will render them infertile. They will die Aldous because this disease is designed to kill them.” Cal was on fire, his heart beat fast and his chest rose as he said this. Leekie was completely neutral to this. His face just watching Cal. Call breathed out heavily, wondering what to say next. It didn't have the impact he thought it would. His eyes darted around and his ran his hand through his hair. “They are...they're bread to die.” He said again, and again Leekie said nothing, but he sat there holding the bridge of his nose. Cal started to feel shit, his adrenaline draining at the lack of reaction he thought Leekie wouldn't know and be shocked, but now he felt like Leekie had known all along. 

“Cal...” Leekie began sounding suddenly worn out. 

“Leekie what is going on? You knew?” Cal said he span around on his feet looking around for something anything to believe in any more. Leekie didn't say anything. “Tell me you won't do this when you know what will happen?!” Cal pleaded his hands in the air like he was praying. Leekie tried to open his mouth and talk but to be honest Cal was right, he did know about this. 

“Janet had already told me your plan. She was working for me since the beginning. The thing is Cal here, you are watched every minute and we already knew about your plan to shut this down. Maybe you should choose your friends better next time. Duncan tells me you do this a lot.” Leekie finally said after a moment of watching Cal's expression calculating a response. At this Cal huffed out again, utterly exasperated over what he was hearing. His whole life was falling apart in front of his eyes. Fuck the sexual violation he began to understand that it was just a ploy. Cal sat back down in his chair, then got up again pacing around the room, before slamming his palms down on the desk and pointing his finger at Leekie. 

“I can't...Fuck you.” Cal said swearing at him, before slamming his fist again grabbing his notes and storming out. The first thing Cal did was run straight to the group lab where the genome and all of their research was. He sealed the door to their department shut, locking it form the inside, no one would be able to get in. Next he ran around it grabbing his hair in clumps with his fists. It would all be for nothing, all his last few years work building this case was for nothing. Cal slammed his hands on the wall by the door just above him and hung his head. Tears slowly falling down his cheek into his beard. He was out of a job he would have a record of indecent sexual activity, no income. His wife had no skills, in a foreign country with nothing to convert over here, she was a stay at home wife, just writing poems and a novels occasionally. As he thought about his wedding again how happy they were and how they had settled down and got their own stable life he realised how much he had messed up. She wouldn't care whether he had taken the moral high ground, she would care about the electricity being cut off, and then the water and then the red slips coming through the door. He had messed up. In a rush he span around smashing all of the information from the long lab table to the floor, glass smashing around him and cutting up his hands. He moaned out at the sharp pain his hands seized up and didn't want to move but he had to keep going. He grabbed the nearest chemicals and slashed them all over the place turning in circles and making sure all of it was spread around. They started to react together, and so he poured more around him. Then when the room was covered in the stuff from top to bottom, he fumbled in his lab coat having left his bomber jacket in his office and produced a few matches and lit them.

Duncan knocked gently on the door of Cal's house. Martha opened it up, this time out of her apron and Duncan noticed the nice change. 

“Hello Duncan.” She said with a smile. “Don't suppose you have seen Cal about, feel like I haven't seen him in ages. And the big news needs to be shared around.” Martha said grinning to him, he grinned back automatically before not really knowing what he was smiling at. “I know the two of you have fallen out and all, but you'll make it ok in the end, you always do.” She said, inviting him in. He stayed where he was for some reason so she leaned on the door frame. 

“What great news.” Duncan said suddenly very scared of what she was about to say. In the back of his head he remembered that Leekie had planned something awful to get Cal fired from DYAD. He felt awful, but more so now she had 'great news'. Martha smiled widely looked to the floor and back again fumbling with her hands. 

“Well I know you have had it tough with Susan and all in this area so I don't just want to come out and say it.” Martha said trying to avoid it, regretting letting it slip straight away. “Come on in Ethan, you'll get a cold!” She said, starting to walk back into house. Again Duncan stopped at the door, she turned back. 

“What news?” Duncan said again, Martha realised that there was something serious in his voice and half of her really didn't want to tell him like this, but half of her knew she had to at some point. 

“I'm pregnant.” Martha said, with an edge of sorrow in her voice with reference to Susan, but with an excited element to having her first child with Cal. At her words Duncan seized up. Cal was probably at this moment being caught out and fired. He would be jobless and now he had a baby to provide for. Without a hesitation more, Duncan spun around running to his car leaving his briefcase behind and getting in, speeding out of the drive in reverse and then turning, hitting the gas and flying down the road. Martha just looked after him her hands nervously stroking each other. “Oh no.” She said, thinking his reaction was to do with Susan. She closed the door slowly, stroking her stomach of the not yet forming baby. 

Duncan braked hard almost stalling the car, putting it in park and then jumping out of it. His clothes were all over the place, his tie behind his back. He didn't even have time to lock his car, before he was hopping over the stairs, in giant bounds he tried to get to the entrance. When he got there he slammed into the door, realising he had to pull and yanking it towards himself. In haste he made the guard check him straight away, patting him down. Duncan reassured the guard that he was carrying nothing but still he had to stand there and be fully checked his name tag being put it in hand of the receptionist to check up. He huffed out, his hands on his hips catching his breath. When he got his tag back he ran straight away down the long corridor. Straight away he hit the first set of double doors, unlocking it with his keys and running again. It was just his damn luck that Leekie's office would be on the other side of the department. Duncan slammed through some more doors and straight past his group lab, a whiff of something caught his nose but he ignored it, running straight to Leekie's office not even bothering to check at the next reception post. His hand gripped the handle, and forced his way in. Inside he shut his eyes immediately horrified by the image that was now scared onto him brain. Leekie was fucking Dr Vandikamp against the table she was totally naked, his trousers around his ankles, his shirt unbuttoned but not off , she was bent over on her front and in his hand he had cigar and a smile on his face. 

“Jesus christ man!” Duncan screamed. “Where the hell is Dr. Morrison?” Duncan called out, shielding his eyes and putting his hand out to stop the receptionist advancing and seeing this sight. 

“Who knows my man, I fired him already. He ran off that way!” Leekie called out, thrusting harder into Janet's core as she cried out in pleasure. Duncan felt sick, he held his stomach listened to the instructions Leekie had given him, running out of the room and shutting the door hard behind him. It was the way he had come so he knew it well, again he pushed himself through double doors, going this way meant he could just shove his way through. Duncan was shaking his head whispering to himself about how selfish he had been, how stupid he had been to go along with Leekie's plan. Again his nose caught the smell and he looked around for a moment. There was a bright amber colour coming from the group lab. He ran over to it, but the door's glass was blurred over charred black edges forming. He tried the handle noticing the smell was smoking chemicals. When it didn't open his heart dropped battering against his ribs suddenly causing him a slight pain. His hands went to the window banging against it trying to see if anyone was there. 

“Is anyone there?!” Duncan yelled, no one was around to help him. He shook his head in disbelief. Duncan's fists hammered against the glass, it was reinforced so it wouldn't shatter. Aside from the burning and crackling and occasional explosions Duncan heard something, something human. 

“Duncan?” Cal called out, coming from the flames and pressing his whole body against the glass. Duncan could see his out line and freaked out. 

“What the hell are you doing Cal!” He cried, trying the handle again. Cal slammed his fists against the door, not trying to get out, but in defeat at the flames licked at his face and feet. They had not quite consumed all of the chemicals or the room yet and he still had some oxygen to eat up, but it was going fast as the flames grew. 

“It's over Ethan! It's all over.” Cal turned over and faced inward in the room watching the flames climb up the walls like out of control weeds, lashing out at him. His face was sweating hard, he could hardly breath now, his lungs sucking at what was left. He bowed his head to his chest more tears from his eyes. Suddenly, he remembered the genome was still in the middle of the room. With no breath left he jumped up, his lungs sucking for life. His burnt fist grabbed the genome information and smashed it all on the floor stomping on it and grabbing some more unlit chemicals, when they hit the floor they burst into ignition. His foot swarmed with flames. The flames pickled his leg and he freaked out. He regretted it, the horrible thoughts and the impulsiveness. He ran to the door, to Duncan who was pressing his face to it to see him, hollaring about for someone to help. No one came. 

“Duncan get me out of here!” Cal screamed. Looking around Duncan found a fire extinguisher, grabbing it and ripping it off it's hook slamming it against the glass to try and break it. When he contacted he was thrown back. The glass was reinforced so that nothing could get in, but also nothing could get out. 

“Help me!!” Duncan cried out again trying the handle, pulling with all his weight, but foot on the wall to help. Nothing happened. He realised it could be it. 

“Cal listen to me!” Duncan yelled through the door, Cal was screaming out by now, his body burning before him. “Cal I need to tell you something.”

“Argh!!!!” Cal screamed his soul crying through his mouth. His crying was one of searing pain as if his skin was being ripped off of him all at the same time. 

“Cal she is pregnant!” Duncan shouted. 

“WHATT?” Cal screamed out, turning in his pain, and putting his face against the door as his body collapsed around him, his legs giving up. 

“Martha. Is. Pregnant!” 

There was no sound but flames licking at flesh.


	14. Coming out

Part 14: 30 years later: Present day

“Project Socrates aren't the bad guys.” I said coming slightly down from my high even though I had smoked a joint the whole time I was reading the files. “It says here; Project Socrates was shut down pending 1983 investigation into the death of 6 scientists in a lab fire. Dr. Morrison was the only body recovered, the rest are believed to have been incinerated...shit.” I said looking to Cosima who sat up a little more, they were now cuddling. Delphine had her arms wrapped around her shoulders, Cosima was leaning over to her, snuggling into them. Her head resting on Delphine's neck. They were cute together, I had to give them that. The next page dropped from my hold and a news paper clipping came out. I looked at it, the image of Dr. Morrison with his beard, Susan and Ethan Duncan were next to him in the array of photo graphs. I rubbed my thumb over their faces. 'Duncan'. For a moment I ignored the fact I knew the name and tried to do some mental maths. They couldn't be dead, they were the only ones who knew about the data about the cloning procedure. My birth date must have been around 1984 so they couldn't have died. They must have survived. It just wouldn't make any sense if they had. But officially DYAD's project Leda didn't exist and neither did project Socrates so maybe this was a ploy? A way of diverting attention from the researchers involved? They couldn't have done a secret assignment into cloning if they were dead... 'Duncan' I though again. 

“Delphine.” She looked up at me smiling, I was crashing from the high and felt like death, but she was fine having not smoked any. “Duncan, right that's the lady who runs the DYAD hospital...these people who run Leda were also called Duncan does that mean that she was their daughter. You know keep it in the family and all?” Delphine didn't respond right away. 

“I suppose so, urrr, I have never met her soo.” Delphine was just as aversive as ever and I didn't let it go. There wasn't much background information in the files, only objective facts. There were 6 scientists in total in the two projects each. So 6 for and 6 against. Nothing was said about the fate of the project Socrates people. Just that one Dr. J. Vandikamp shut down Socrates after infiltrating it on order of Dr. L---Dr. A. Leekie. Doctor Aldous fucking Leekie. He had been in on this all the time?! “Delphine you knew about this right?” I said, looking at the page and then to her with a troubled expression, obviously she had no idea what I was talking about because she could read my mind. 

“Urrr?” She responded looking to Cosima, Cosima sensed the tenseness in my voice and sat up a little more, still having Delphine's arms around her. 

“Leekie. Doctor Leekie he was the head of DYAD at the time the clo—we were created?!” It would make sense as to why he was so interested in learning more about my stories. Now they seem to be coming true or something, he probably already knew they would. He was probably checking up on them. Maybe he didn't want to believe Beth killed herself, maybe he didn't want to why one of his creations decided to end it. But maybe that was exactly it, she was just a creation. And so was I. Cosima sat straight up, pushing Delphine's arms off of her and waiting for a response. Some how in Delphine's head she must have thought we were dumb or that if she acted casually we would just ignore the fact that she was the shadiest person in this whole thing. “Well?” I egged her on. 

“I...Leekie, as in Aldous Leekie? I...Here let me read it.” I kept the pages close to me, she was already reading them when we came into the cafe she would know that he headed it from the get go his head and name were all over it. Cosima's brow furrowed and she pushed away from Delphine again turning to her. Helena myself and Cosima all looked to her waiting for some sort of miraculous excuse as to why she wouldn't know about this and hide it from all of us. It was just proving my theory of her being a monitor, her working for Leekie and watching Cosima. Maybe they were in love, maybe her feelings for Cosima were legit, but it was totally clouded over by this fact that she was a shady fucker. 

“Delphine how long have you known about this?” Cosima asked, her voice soft but cracking, she was preparing herself to be let down. Cosima took up Delphine's hand in hope that it wasn't. Delphine held it tightly with passion and looked with care into Cosima's hazel brown eyes. Then she looked with sharp eyes to me. 

“Before I say anything, I want you to listen to what I have to say, all of what I have to say and then judge me. Because I know how you can be, impulsive...” Delphine did not say the last bit of mean spirit or double message, she just looked to Cosima and weakly smiled. “Yes I know he was the head even before I read the files, and yes when I met you I knew you were a clone.” It clicked! She was a monitor. Cosima had done what she said and listened rather than judged her although her face was flushing red and her bottom lip was quivering a little bit. Her grip on Delphine's hand weakening as she said this. “I have been working for Leekie since...I don't even know for years. I...well.” Delphine put her free hand on the bridge of her nose just like Leekie had. “Cosima I am sorry for lying but I..I already have my doctorate in Immunology. I was placed into Minne-” Regardless of what Delphine had said and what Cosima was obliged to do (listen) Cosima stood up, not saying anything but came and sat next to me. I comforted her with my arm around her, not in a really friendly way, even with what Delphine was saying. Delphine yarned after her with her eyes, but knew that what she was saying would change everything. “Minnesota to get close to you, to be able to really monitor you.. But believe me Cosima the feelings are real. Nothing was fake apart from my degree. I assure you, please you have to believe me I love you.” Delphine was pleading although Cosima had not moved or said anything more. She just looked to me with her cold eyes which were now more black than hazel brown, tears forming at the edge. She knew that this was important that this would help us figure out everything about Beth and what was happening even though at this point I was starting to think my interest in this was not strictly about Beth anymore, not about why she shot Maggie or why she killed herself...but it was her life. It was her girlfriend. It was the girl she was in love with telling her that it wasn't fate they met, it was an assignment. “I knew about all of this. But please believe me on this, I was not reporting anything to him. Or anyone. I don't work for anyone anymore. I don't even really know if I am still monitoring you. Leekie is dead and-” She was cut off by Cosima. 

“Leekie is dead? The guy from the neolution lecture?” Cosima but in, I could tell just from the way that she was looking at Delphine, the way that she grabbed onto my hands instead of holding them herself. As if if she didn't have anything to hold onto she would break out crying from what she was saying. I couldn't really understand where she was coming from having never been in this situation before, no one had betrayed me before in this way, I had been the betrayer. It was brave how Cosima was keeping it together when Delphine was being so blunt about the whole thing. I felt some kind of maternal instinct to protect Cosima like she was my...Kira. There was an ache in the pit of my guts that was missing her, but I had to brush it off if I missed her anymore I would loose all the shits. 

“Yes, urr when I was acquainted with Sarah, I found out, Miss Duncan had put out a memo saying it was a heart attack or something I don't know. Anyway Cosima I am sorry. Truly I am sorry, I understand if you want space or you want time to get your head around this or you feel like I've--” Cosima got up letting go of my hand. She walked over the pillows to Delphine. I swear she was going to hit her or slap her, but she bent onto her knees and put her hands on Delphine's legs and whispered.

“I want you to look in my eyes and tell me that this is real. No monitor bullshit, no Leekie. Just us. Just I need you to--” Cosima started. Delphine put her hands up and held the sides of Cosima's head, looking straight into her eyes with a tear clinging to her eye. 

“I have loved you since the first moment I saw your face in that lab. I have never forgot that smile or those beautiful beautiful eyes. Every time I was with you I was electric, and when we kissed...” She said, the tear breaking and falling down her cheek her eyes going wild looking around the room for the words, the words to express how she felt, to capture exactly what she meant. But Cosima leant up, and kissed her stupid face to keep her from talking any longer. I looked away to Helena who was watching with eager amused eyes at what was happening. The sheets about Leekie, about the projects fell to my lap. These projects that would have been shut down, meaning life or non-existance for us, it didn't matter because we were alive. All this fucked up clone shit I have got myself involved in, all of this crazy twisted tail I have wrapped myself around...it was ok. It was ok because I finally felt like I was doing some thing. Like a weird clone private detective exposing the bullshit and making it better. A part of me grew hole when all of these Delphine crap was exposed. They were still kissing, Cosima had moved up to Delphine, sitting on her legs. Both were silently crying into each other. I guess their love was stronger than all of that, but it must still sting for both of them. For Cosima because she was lied to, and Delphine because she had to lie. She was a Paul, she was what Beth had told me about in the weeks leading up to it. Beth had said that monitors were placed here completely blind of what they were doing. The trouble is that Delphine wasn't blind she new Cosima was a clone she knew she had to monitor her health and watch her actions. She knew all of this. Maybe she was just Leekie's right hand woman but maybe she was something more. To be honest I didn't want to think about it anymore, especially now after, what like 8 seconds after their fight they were making up. Maybe Cosima was stupid of super mature because if this had happened I would be out of here. My eyes were diverted back to the project Socrates mess. There were files on each of the people in their, the Duncan's, I would look at them last, Cal was who I was interested in for some reason. Cal's face gleamed back at me on his employee photograph in black and white, his thin nose sticking about his brown beard, his shocking blue eyes staring back, his smile pulling it all together. Below it had a small biography of where he studied, addresses, next of kin ect. I looked to the next of kin, his wife Martha Morrison, married in 1967, born 1950. I looked to Cal's birth date, 1947, so he was 3 years older? If they married in 67, and he died in 83 he must have been 35 when he died? Shit that was young. Only a few years older than me. I looked again to his profile, it listed a son. A son? This took me by surprise although it really shouldn't have. He had a son. I looked to Martha's next of kin section again, it said the son was born in 1984..the same year as me, but January, whereas I was born in March. But that's a year later. I looked to the month of when he died. April 29th. Cal was born the end of January. Shit he must have died right after his son was conceived. Fuck, I thought to myself. Suddenly I got this horrible feeling come over my heart when I figured this out, but brushed it off as noting even though it lingered, wanting to be known. There was no death date on the mother's bio. So she must be alive? Although would she know about this Socrates stuff?

I thought for a second. It could still link to Beth. The clones were dying and as far as Helena was concerned Socrates, or what we know now as project Socrates were after us, killing us off. Maybe it was his son, he would be the same age as me if he is still alive, he could be getting revenge on the project that killed his dad? I can't imagine not having a dad would be nice, well I can...I didn't even have real parents, just Miss S. But she was more of a mother to me than any biological parent would have been. I flipped the page to get more information on Cal but there was none, just the pages I put behind on the Duncan's. I looked at their page, their birth dates and death dates. All in the fire of 1983. But it said all of their work was destroyed...it couldn't have been for obvious reasons. Maybe Cal's son knew. Something in me told me that he would know. 

Shooting pains split all over my brain like an electric pulse, I grabbed the sides of my head in comfort and waited for it to stop as usual. But there was no memory accompany it. Confusion spread through me as the fall out from the pain dissipated. Helena moved across the room to my side, and put her hand on my shoulder as if to check on me. I waved her off assuring her with a smile that I was fine. But my mind was consumed with figuring out what the hell it was doing. It was hazy for a second, my eyes were a little weird. Cosima and Delphine were still awkwardly making out on the beanbags, at least they weren't crying. What could have caused it? I looked down at the paper on my lap, notes about the Duncan's the Morrison's, what possible relevance could this all have. Martha Morrison, Ethan Duncan? Susan Duncan, Cal-- Cal Morrison, it flicked in my mind. Cal. Cal. It wasn't Cal Morrison, It was Cal Morrison, Junior. Still while this had relevance I had no idea. What did I know about it? So there was a project to create us, an anti-project to stop us, a fire where 6 scientists including Cal Morrison sr supposedly died. Cal Morrison had a son; Cal Morrison. The words seemed to be familiar, like I knew them and there was no way that previous to this whole investigation that I knew them. There was a photo that led me here, the one I found in...No! I didn't find it in Helena's storage house though did I! It was in my story! Cal was in my story. But not the Cal for here, a younger Cal. A Cal that was my age. A Cal that I got into an RV with Kira and drove away with. A Cal that I loved. But how the hell did I know about all of this back then, before I remembered the clones...The thing is that I only started to remember the stuff after treatment, with these headaches. The stories were from my sub concious. I knew about Helena because of what Beth had said, the same for Alison and Cosima. I knew about Paul because Beth had told me, Beth had spilled her guts about him to me. I wrote about having sex with him for god sake. But how the hell did I know Cal? That same strange feeling I had earlier came over me, like my own heart was playing on its strings. It felt like that moment you see someone you really love, or fancy, or find attractive, or whatever people call it. The butterflies in your stomach, the ripple in your heart. I brushed it off. 

“Guys I'm am sorry to break up this horrifically weird situation.” I said, making Cosima and Delphine stop make up kissing, Helena was still stood beside the sofa. “But I have to tell you something. Maybe you'd know Delphine, because I have no idea.” I said honestly there was no sourness towards Delphine now even if I didn't trust her still like Cosima did. But then again maybe she is amazing in bed because that seemed to be why they made up. I remembered the stories and Cal. “I urr... In the hospital I had to write stories, yeah, short ones. And before I met you or even really saw you I was writing stories about all of you.” When I said this I realised how crazy this sounded, writing stories about them wasn't a form of flattery. It was crazy enough and I haven't even got to the point yet. “But the weird part is that what I wrote stuff that was true..no that's not the word...” I tried to figure out to say this. They all just stared at me, even Delphine. This time with no look of a weird nature, nothing to set me on edge. “I wrote stuff down before it happened and then it turned out to be true. Like not exactly, details were off or maybe a setting but the exact same things have happened. The photo I found in Helena's house thing, it was a photo I had never seen before. Yet back in my first days of writing stories in the DYAD, it was one of the first things I had written about. In my story, Helena, who I had also never met was looking through my stuff and found this exact photo.” I pulled it out again, Cosima was serious again her brow furrowed and she leaned up on Delphine's legs. “And the scary part, I wrote Cal into my story. Not Cal from the files, but Cal, his son of the same name. Cal junior.” I said this all in one burst. It was completely out of place, it followed nothing we we talking about, it wasn't in any of their heads. “I..I thought you would know what it was?” They all just listened to what I had to say, totally perplexed as to how to respond. “Alrigh' don't jump all at once.” Delphine moved Cosima from her lap and came and sat next to me, thankful to hell that all of the attention was off of her her eyes apologetic, I ignored her apology and tried to get over it like Cosima. Although I wasn't under the influence of her magical vagina. 

“What do you mean, was he a name in it, a person you knew?” She said, checking my pupils for something like a doctor would. I let her and then carried on. 

“No, like he even looked like his dad, thin nose strong jaw, long brown hair. He had everything Cal jr in real life would probably have. Kira and I got into an RV with him and drove away, like a family or somethin'.” Still this was horrifically weird to say out loud. This was embarrassing even. Immediately I felt like a twat for actually mentioning it. Damn it Sarah why did you have to tell someone. 

“This could be a side effect of the treatment they gave you?” Delphine said with no attitude to how crazy it all was. Cosima laughed out loud covering her mouth with her hand. 

“Are you serious?” She said, looking at me over her glasses a grin across her face. I waved her off. 

“Oh fuck off, yes I am. Alright, it's weird. I wish I didn't tell you.” I said, embarrassed again. Delphine touched my shoulder. Cosima was also happy to take the attention off of Delphine, this would be a matter they would have to argue out themselves. 

“I have seen something like this before. Not exactly the same..sort of thing as you. But there are strange affects. This is why Leekie wanted to get you off it as soon as possible. Dr. E was a strange man and he wasn't working for us, he knew nothing except he took the bribe we gave to let you go free. We were never quite sure where his loyalties laid.” She said, this time she was tilting my head over and checking my ears. This was all shite she couldn't tell anything from my ears, I pushed her away with a friendly laugh and looked to her. 

“Am I crazy doc?” I said, sounding like I did when I first went to that place. She smiled at me. 

“You know what, maybe you are?” Delphine laughed, it didn't seem funny to me but I laughed as well. I let her check me over some more even though it would amount to nothing, I was fine, just a little light headed. I was about to tell them that I also wrote about something similar to their first meeting, and figured that would be really idiotic and stopped. I just accepted that this was some weird side affect and looked around the room for some other distraction, a small twatish part of me was going to bring light to the fact that Delphine had lied to us all again, but I choose not to, for the sake of Cosima. 

“No wonder they locked me up.” I managed to get out over her leaning on me and giving me the 1 2. I shoved her away with a playful smile and she sat next to me instead. Cosima just stood in front of us. “I hate attention.” I said with a little croak of honesty. I did hate attention when it came to embarrassing shit like loosing your mind and being a loony psychic. Cosima grinned at me, and so did Helena but Helena also gave off a strange animal huff as a laugh and her eyes were wildly amused again. Did she have any concept of serious? “I don't want to talk about the stories alright, I just...I think I need to find Cal. Don't ask me why I just...have to alrigh'.” Why I had to was even beyond my comprehension, my mind was working alongside me not with me right now, and there were things I didn't understand that it most probably did. Either way whatever it was doing we managed to work together in order for me to climb up off the sofa and stand looking at everyone. Then as always the obvious thing came to my head. “Can I even find him, isn't every cop looking for me?” It would be difficult to drive around a city filled with facial recognition CCTV, with subways crammed with camera's with everyone consuming the media, and seeing my face in every embodiment of it. It would be difficult. 

“Ahh.” Delphine said, she walked over to Cosima's old box TV and flicked it on. We all watched her wondering what the hell she was doing, until the TV stopped fuzzing black and white dots and loaded up a programmes. Delphine flicked through until she found the news. At the bottom of the screen on the right was the mug shot I had to take when I was first admitted to the institute. Right next to it was a beautiful pleasant looking woman's face, Beth. I realised how much we were different and how the public would think Beth fell of the rails or something. My photo wasn't pretty, lines of thick muddy mascara fell down my cheeks from a night of crying and complaining and kicking off in the police cell. My hair was messy as hell from where they had dragged me by it into that cell and from the cell to the transport vehicle. A black eye forming. Was no one going to question police brutality here? Then I read the headline; 'Beth Childs escaped patients at the DYAD institute found dead.” Thankfully they had supposedly found my body in the other county so there police and coroners and morgue assistants would see, not the guy I dooped into believing Beth's actual body was mind. Maybe I was crazy, faking my death and using a friends body to cover it up. I felt sick at the thought. “They think you're dead.” Delphine said, we all crowded around the table just looking at the news broadcast, a video of my supposed dead body under a white sheet found on farm land, the anchor elaborating the story. 

“Shit.” My voice croaked again. The trouble was, even though my actual body wasn't there it could have been any of us, Cosima, Helena and I could all have been under there and they would not have been able to tell us apart. I hoped to god they weren't asking the obvious question of where Beth's body actually was. Thankfully they all kept it to themselves, somehow I didn't think they would like me as much when they found out just how much of a drifter I really was. “Well that's that sorted.” 

“No.” Delphine said in such a strong French accent for a moment I had to think whether no was even English. “The people think you are dead. You are forgotten in their eyes, DYAD know you are alive. They will be watching.” Delphine finished off with a serious look in her face. It came to my head to figure out when they decided to tell the world I was dead, because just 9 hours ago I was looking at their research. Just then my clone phone buzzed in my pocket, I grabbed it out still watching the broadcast and answered it. 

“Sarah, why are there armed men outside of my door?! I have a gun and I am not afraid to use it.” Alison called out with a shaky high pitched voice, evidently hiding and waiting. Bollocks, I thought.


	15. The Mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW there is a some death in this chapter just warning you, no main characters so don't worry :)

Part 15: August 2012, 2 months before Beth's death.

Cal jr opened up the last box of his fathers old stuff. It was heartbreaking when a family member died. It was shattering when an aunt you were closed passes away. It is grounding and soul taking when your mother dies. Now Both of Cal's parents were dead, his mother just two days previous, and he had no one. Boxes opened easier when you had a knife to pierce into them and rip. It was a horrible metaphor but it was all he could think of to express the pain he felt. His eyes were strong and he was not going to cry about this, so he just focused on opening the box in the eerily quite attic of their home, which felt just a wooden house now. His fingers pulled back the tough cardboard and he ruffled around in the polystyrene until he found some old photo's. His mother Martha had sworn him off his Father's old things, he always argued back that if they were do dreadful then they should get rid of them, but they never did. The old photo's were mostly of his mom and dad, back in the years before he died. Cal never knew his dad, this was all he had of him, and his mom never talked about him so he had nothing to go by apart from that he was a scientists at DYAD. Most of what he knew was from his own research, looking through archives, his friends and family, although he didn't seem to have much of either. When he went online to find out more all he found was the company that he worked for that Cal himself had worked for until 2008. His name was attached to some projects, some ground breaking research that wasn't so prestigious now. There were a few projects, but they weren't off his interest. What interested Cal the most was how his father had died. When he worked for DYAD he tried to find this out, any way he could, any bit of research that would lead him to know more. It became an obsession of his. Sometimes he would walk around the block that Cal sr had walked in, and pretend to be him, even walk out in the courtyard where the lab used to be. Now a supply closet for the grounds keeper. It wasn't until each break time that he had to walk back, back past the old that that Cal sr had died in that it hit him hard and he would be full of sadness the rest of the day. He thought after a while it would wear off, he would get used to it, his reactions and emotions would somehow dissipate into nothing. If anything it got stronger. He was filled with anger and even though he worked there as a scientists probably in the same lab spaces as his dad, he was going about doing more than he was supposed to. He would break into other labs at night to see what they were doing, seeing if it had relation to his dad. Nothing ever did but there was a burning desire to know what happened to know, to feel, to understand. Even just the words on top of his instruction sheet spelling his name was a sign to Cal. He was loosing his mind. So in 2008 DYAD had to let him go, sending him to rehab facility where he could get better. 

So here he was, completely recovered and up until now not even thinking of his father. But trauma does this to people. Cal sat them on his knees in him blue jeans and red flannel shit looking through, piling all of the photo's up. That's all there was in this box, so he carefully put them all back, folded the flaps of it so that they would lock each other in, and he taped it up. Biting with a snap the tape from its reel and sticking it down, flattening the smooth plastic surface with the palm of his rough hand. He slide it across the wooden panels until it thudded against the diagonal tilt of the roof, and grabbed the next one from the shelf dropping it to the floor. Again with his knife stabbing into it and dragging the sharp edge towards him, ripping the plastic apart in a swift motion. His strong hands pulled the opening apart. This time he ruffled up his sleeves to his elbow joints and then dug through. But this time there weren't photo's or tax documents but other sorts of documents. Cal grabbed a few and fell back on his knee's sitting there reading them. 

'DYAD institute' they headed and footed. Cal's eyes screwed a little bit in the dark light on the light dyed pages, and tried to read it all. 'Project Leda' he read. Something in him felt like this was more important that anything he had discovered before. He felt his obsession coming back so he gulped and shook his head. His eyes scanned the information. Whatever this was, whatever he was about to read he suddenly felt like a million eyes were watching him. Looking around the quite dusty room he assessed that no one was there, but it didn't stop the feeling. When he was done with this sheet he grabbed the whole box and took it downstairs into his dinning room. Everything was as it was before his mom had died, the dishes were still in the sink to wash, her apron was stilling hanging on one of the cupboard handled ready for her to start cooking even the ingredients were still out. Although Cal had put the chicken back in the freezer just because. He pulled up one of the dainty dining chairs and put the box on a chair next him. Carefully without spilling too many of the polystyrene balls everywhere he caught the remaining sheets and pages, putting them on the table in front of him and just looking. 

This was him. This was Cal Morrison sr. 

 

Licking his rough dry lips Cal went to turn over the page, before halting and looking around. With a nervous twitch he shot up nearly stumbling over the box of balls to the dining room window, closing the yellow fabric curtain over them. A bright yellow glow burst over the room as the bright noon suns rays cast through. He looked around again, no windows immediately around him. Cal took his seat spreading his legs apart, running his fingers through his brown locks; just like his dad's, but sculpted to be more modern and niche. And scratching at his less impressive scruffy beard. His thin strong fingers turned over the page, and he began to read again, scanning the sentences, the words, the letters. There were blacked out words all over the document, names erased, places censored, times blocked out. Around these he figured out what was going on. As he got further through the sheets, he hit a wall. 

1983\. 

Teeth ground together and he just read through his forest lake eyes the date once more. 1983. It was the year he died. His mother's face came back to him and a small tear formed at the edge of his eye lids. Hands quickly wiping away the evidence of feeling, as he looked up at the room once more. The exact room that she collapsed in. Heart attacks were brutal, scaring, life changing, and that's just for the person experiencing it. For everyone else, for the people suffers leave behind when they pass, it is so much worse. Eyes kept on reading past the date, but somehow he kept jumping back up the line to the number. 1.9.8.3. He stood up, holding his hair back from his forehead and just stared at the painting hanging on the wall opposite him with strained eyes. The picture was of a shore in England in the north, a light house standing tall amongst a rock outcrop being battered by strong waves and harsh winds. The light from the structure is just casting shadow on a kings ship destined to be shipwrecked. Cal snapped back to it, sitting back down with a growl. Trying to get through the work. Trying to not focus on his mom, and focus on his dad. His vice after all these years. This time he skipped the date reading straight past it and on to the last words. 

'All 6 scientists perished in the blaze' a new clipping read at the bold title before the article began. There was a picture of his dad Dr. C Morrison, next to 5 others, two of which next to him seemed to be married. The Duncan's. Cal tried to put it down, but all he could do was looking into the light eyes of the black and white photo. Then his hand let it go pushing it to the back of the pile, knowing that eventually he would come around it again, but not before he had read all about his work. 

'...The Cloning procedure starts with it first being possible to clone...” The line read at the top of the sheet, it was a note from a one Dr. A. Leekie who's photo was not included, yet Cal already knew the name. Leekie was the head of the DYAD at the time he worked there, that man had got around. Yet never told Cal he had worked with his dad. Cal pushed that too out of his mind, not wanting to open up fresh wounds. Cloning, was the word that caught his eyes. He carried on. 'The genome is the most important part of the project, everything we know about the procedure to come will be done to what we have sequenced in the genome. The original. The key to unlocking the future of human...' Cal stopped reading, he seemed to slip into some sort of accent in his head; Leekie's when he read it and it gave him the creeps. Leekie was what people at the DYAD called a neolutionist. Some crack pot who believed that human self directed evolution was a human right and that every person should be able to do it. So project Leda came at no surprise to Cal jr. From the little snippet here and there of what his mom did let slip; Cal sr was a moral man, fighting for what was right. But she never said he was a hippie which is the image Cal jr grew up with. Cal read further on flipping the file over and reading the new section. 'Project Socrates'. Something in that title really bugged Cal for some reason, but not enough for him to loose all his shits and stand up and wonder around the house like he did when it happened. He just twisted his brain trying to figure out where he had seen it. It was on the back of a photograph up in the attic when we was searching through that first box. As Cal read some more he stood up to go and get a drink, realising what he was about to read would probably have some horrible tie to his father and he needed to be intoxicated for that. Out of the fridge past his mothers boxed up left overs he found some beers and pulled them out, chipped of a bottle top with a opener, letting the gas sizzle out like a sigh of a baby, before he gulped and took a breath, walking back to the table and sitting down again. He sighed, looking around the room once more, before being immersed into the lines. 

There was more information in those few sheets on Project Socrates then Cal thought he would ever find out in his whole life time. When he finished the last few words, he sat back on his chair spreading his legs out in front of him and looking to the ceiling swigging his beer. 

“Oh.” Cal said, before returning his head to the table, putting his nearly empty brew down and running his fingers through the side of his hair. Again he looked at the page, his hand staying in his hair holding it back as he leaned over the page casting his shadow. “That's who you are.” Somehow over the years of travelling around, moving to England with his mom and now back to America, he had adopted a strange accent. North English, verging on Scottish with an American twang. Cal was sure the woman loved it and most did, but it was a strange mix. He was distracting himself. His feet took him up with his fresh beer back to the attic to find if there was anything more to this story he could find. In the next box he had left his knife downstairs, so leant over it, one knee up the other he was sitting on, grabbing the tape between his teeth and yanking it apart. When the tape cracked apart the flaps on the box seemed to open themselves, so he dived in. Inside he didn't find paper work but a jacket of some kind. He pulled it out, sitting back so he could look at it. It was a dark brown leather bomber jacket with a crest or flag of some kind on the left breast pocket and a name tag on grey fabric on the right. 'Dr. C Morrison' Cal's dad. Cal held it in the air for a moment, the sleeves hanging limp at the sides, and the collar a little worn and torn. Other than it was intact. Cal brought it to his nose body feeling his dad's jacket on his face, the rough leather, the dust gathered and just a few polystyrene balls still attached. His nose took in a deep long breath to try and smell it, to get closer to his dad, to feel him. But there was no smell except un washed clothes and dust gathered over thirty years. With just a moment of hesitation he slipped it on, undoing the zip and pushing his long arms into it, and pulling it around his chest. He closed his eyes and he could practically feel his dad. Feel like him. It was the closest he had got to him, even in his dreams he would not get this close. He was a distant memory and now he was real. Cal fumbled around with boxes again, sliding that one away and grabbing another opening it in the same way and diving it. There were more sheets, so he piled them up next to him, grabbing more boxes and to each of them the same technique of opening. Once he had gone through the whole lot, finding nothing but photo's and more sheets Cal brought the lot down again with his beer. Sitting back down he lifted the sheets up into piles and tried to organise them in some sort of way, chronological or something else. None of the pages were numbered, but somehow he put it together. The whole while being distracted from his mom which he was trying to do, picking up the thing he knew could consume him in this way. His dad. On the last page there were a list of numerous clones. All with different lives, different names, and different parts of the world. Cal looked the last couple of names, one had just a name and date of birth, no address no contact details. Just a name. 'Sarah Manning.' Cal froze up. It couldn't be. He racked his brain for the name he would never forget, the name that made so many nights a few years ago.

When he had read through all of the document that Cal sr had kept, he put it all away in a large tan envelope that he found about the place and sealed it up. Laying it face up in the middle of the table. Suddenly he felt very alone. The empty house creaked a little and he was unnerved so he walked over to the living area in his open plan downstairs and flicked on the TV. Letting it tune into signal as he sat on the couch, sinking it to it, putting his feet up on the coffee table, taking the bottle of beer to his mouth and drinking. As it loaded there was a discoloured image of the news anchor talking at the screen, as it coloured in the sound turned on. 

A few days later Cal stood at the foot of the grave of Martha H Morrison. His hands holding each other at his front, his head bowed down, as he prayed. The men were filling it in now, the fresh earth being shovelled back into the grave that she would lay in for eternity. It was right next to his Fathers. Although his had long been filled in and had very small flowers plotted all over it. Back in Cal Morrison sr's will he had written the exact place he wanted to be buried when the time come. Only a few years before he would be using the space. The location was a quite desolate place in the north, long pastures of green grass, land owned by no one. Just a tree in the middle of the field, two graves. Lovers. Martha had never stopped loving Cal, but she was always sore around Cal jr, feeling like he was some sort of miracle sent from God, life in death. He kissed his two fingers and waved it over their graves as a sign of respect before leaving them to fill it up. His mind was still, no thoughts echoed around, distracting him. This day was a day of mourning. He climbed up into his truck, parked just a few feet away and put it in drive, rolling down the slope until he reached the gate to the main road, indicating he pulled out, for the drive back to the empty house. 

When he got back the moving men were already around, packing up the boxes he had made into the van. Cal walked in, his hand in his suit trouser pocket, his other scratching at his scruffy beard. As he reached the dinning room moving out of the way of the guys, he found the file still laying on the table. His mind wanted a distraction, he wanted to forget. Without thinking he grabbed what belongings he had gathered of his own which weren't very many and packed up his truck, leaving the file on his dashboard. He gave the movers his number so they could call when they were done putting their stuff in storage. And Climbed back into the car. Cal didn't go anywhere, just sat there in his truck looking at the file and the bomber jacket sprawled over the passenger seat.


	16. New Clone old drama

Part 16: Present day

“Bollocks fuck.” I said to the group, Cosima and Delphine looked at me, Helena just wondered off after the broadcast. “Alison?” I asked, putting the clone phone back up to my ear. “Don't shoot alrigh' unless you have to. Just pretend you're not home. Cosima was standing right at my ear, so I put the phone on loudspeaker. 

“Oh that is such great advice. Whilst my two kids are in the living room playing video games and Donnie is doing god knows what god knows where! Who are these people? If these are one of your freaky friends or people from the DYAD so help me--” Alison was about to go on some crazy spiel so I cut it. 

“Al- Al! Alison what do they look like?” I grabbed Helena by the scruff of her hood and made her come closer listening to the description of the people. Helena would have been the only person to see the guys that tried to kidnap me. She killed a few of them. Alison stopped ranting, she moved looking outside at them or something. 

“Ok so they – oh god their colours clash so badly I will have to --”

“Alison, description now!” 

“Urg. Black, sort of dark clothing. I'm thinking mixed polyester cotton shirts, navy blue. Poorly ironed black suit trousers and...to be honest they look like regular police officers.” She was reciting more of what she saw on her end but Helena had already nodded. 

“Ok Alison it's them, its bad people. Just deal with it, urrr.” I tried to think of something to do. Cosima took the phone from me. 

“Alison, it's Cosima, I need you to act calm, play the ignorance card. You have no idea. They might want to see your laptop, but you will have to let them.” Cosima seemed to know more than she let on, this had probably happened to her as well. Just as she was speaking there was a knock at the door. “Got to go.” Cosima said, hanging up the phone and giving it back to me. I put it away, suddenly realising whoever it was would freak out over seeing three versions of Cosima. Helena and I ran into the bedroom to the curtains that divided her room from the rest of the apartment, and hid behind them. Blackness. Cosima clutched Delphine's hand before leaving it again, walking to the door and pausing at the handle. With a look back she opened it. Before she could even look at who was there people barged in, pushing the door wide open and crowding. Cosima screamed out in protest but one pushed her against the wall. The people started to look around the place one coming right up to the curtains ruffling them a bit before moving. Leaving Helena and I hiding. 

“Are you Cosima Neihaus?” A man ordered, a strong tone in his voice, having no idea what he looked like. 

“Yeah, who the heck are you guys. Hey put that down!” She called out, one must have picked something up. 

“Excuse me but who are you?” Delphine shouted around the room. There was a lot of movement, maybe 5 or 6 people. No one answered. 

“Is this your laptop?” The man commanded and answer, his voice was not very assertive though, very tired and seemed bored of what he was doing. Cosima must have answered some how because they were moving. 

“Do you mind telling me why you were trying to access government property online. Miss I am going to have to ask you to leave the room please.” He must have been talking to Delphine but I couldn't hear her moving. The people around the place seemed to stop now also. 

“Well I shall not until you tell me who you are!” She muttered something in French at the end of her words. 

“I'm not at liberty to say.” He replied. Cosima must have been let free because there was light footsteps of heels. 

“What the hell is going on. Give it to me.” Cosima got whatever it was that was being taken handed back and she huffed with power. 

“You were denied access today after hacking into government property, how do you plead?” Well she would plead innocent because DYAD was not government property, or was it? It could just be an elaborate sham.

“Innocent obviously because the content I was viewing is not property of the government.” Cosima sassed back. The man did not make a noise but seemed to grab her. 

“You admit to hacking intellectual property.” He asked, I guess trying to find a reason to nab her. 

“DYAD.” Delphine said, the man went silent and the room's atmosphere changed. “I was the one of the laptop viewing this material. Delphine Cormier, DYAD institute resident immunologist.” She must have put her hand out as there was some kind of exchange in the awkward atmosphere. “I have a right, no? To view material that concerns my assignment as monitor? Is that wrong?” No one seemed to move. “Miss Duncan personally assigned me to this task.” I knew Miss Duncan had a role in this!!! It was nice to know I was right, Delphine didn't exactly enlighten us on this aspect of her DYAD experience. She seemed to grab hold of Cosima or something as I heard soft fabrics colliding. 

“Urr..Self Aware huh?” His tone completely changed. 

“Very.” Cosima responded. It was a weird conversation. 

“Now please leave these premises right this second, before I personally tell Miss Duncan that you have trespasses unwarranted.” The men hung about for a second and filed out. As soon as the door closed I pushed myself out of the curtains and over to them. Cosima and Delphine were stood together and broke apart Cosima freaking out with her hands in the air. 

“What the hell was that?” She said running to the kitchen and then back again for no reason. Delphine crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the door. 

“Completely out of order.” Delphine said. “If they had half a brain it would have flagged on the system that you were a clone. That's probably it, they were checking if you were self aware.” Something clicked in her expression. “Shit.” She said in the most American way I have ever heard any one say. “You're self aware now.” Her eyes were troubled as she looked to Cosima. Cosima walked over to her and wrapped herself around Delphine looking up into her puppy blue eyes. 

“What's wrong with self aware?” I asked standing there watching Delphine. Cosima leant back out of the cuddle. 

“If I was an experimenter working on a project and whatever it was became self aware it would either be a eureka moment or... I would terminate.” Cosima said matter of factly and then realised the severity of her words. 

“Shite.” I said biting my tongue and looking out of her window before returning to her. “Which one is it?” Cosima looked to Delphine, who's face changed to one of confusion, or no answer, her eyes searching around for an answer in the thin air. 

“It depends who the experimenter was, urr urrr?” She looked around for help in her answer and got nothing. 

“Maybe this is what happens. Clone become self aware and boom.” Helena, I forgot about her for a moment as she stood next to me, she motioned with her hands a gun shot going through her head. It was gut wrenching because that was the move she did when she told me about Katija. You know what she could be right, this was a totally different theory but it might just be right. They were becoming self aware so people came like this and they were terminated. Cosima was worried, pushing her glasses up her nose and watching Delphine. Delphine looked back at her with total and absorbing admiration and love, but tinged with fear. 

“Project Socrates! Someone is covering up their illegal experiments by wiping us out.” I shouted, it made sense. Maybe Cal's son was terminating them like an act of revenge but also he did work for DYAD... Maybe the whole, got fired in 2008 thing was just a ploy, so that he could work under cover. Off grid. Off radar. But just thinking about him again gave me that same pang of butterflies in my stomach like the last time. I felt a little light headed and my heart skipped a few beats. What the hell was it? Trying to ignore it I continued. “It could still be a thing all these years later, so his son maybe on some crazy revenge trip. Father is killed by DYAD so he gets involved right, tries to end the project that ends him. The clones? He works for DYAD so he knows about them and is looking for any excuse... so is on termination duty. The Europeans, dead because they knew.” I didn't want to say what was inevitable, that we were next. Suddenly I had this horrible longing for Kira. It had been over a year and she was still with Siobhan although I hadn't seen her since I came back. It's afternoon now so she would be home from school, maybe doing homework with S, painting like uncle Fe, or just playing about. I wondered if she would be thinking about me, like I was of her. I felt a little shit when I pushed the feeling aside. I would need to sort this mess out first. Get this clear, sort out the shit and then get back to her. But it was too long now, S would never give me back. She would think I was dead! The news! My heart dropped. If she saw the news she would think he worst, what if Kira saw it? Mortality was all over my mind. Suddenly I left them, and back to the bedroom, grabbing my phone and dialling Fe. 

“Sarah! God I thought you were really dead, have you seen the news your--” Felix started straight away his pure Brixton accent cramming through the phone his tone worried and angry. 

“Fe, you know I'm alright I saw you yesterday!” I consoled. 

“I know but I...are you ok, you sound like shit.” His words were some how comforting. The group looked after me but then went back to themselves when Helena distracted them with want of food. 

“Rough night. Look I'm in Minnesota uni at--”

“Minne-fucking-sota. Why the hell-- you're running again aren't--” I cut him off. 

“No I'm not-” I shouted, then calmed my voice. “-running Fe. I'm staying put this time. I have shit to sort out. Look I need you to do a huge favour for me. I need you to check and see if S or Kira thinks I'm dead. Like for real dead. I can't have her think--” I was beginning to tear up and he could sense it his tone changing immediately. 

“I already know, she doesn't alright. I had a phone call off of S, she saw the news! But I told her it wasn't for real. She thinks your running for good this time. She thinks it's all over Sarah there isn't much more I can do!” I heard the soothing panic in his voice. He was right though, I couldn't just keep putting it off. I have to see Kira, see S and tell her it's not real. But I couldn't now, how could I? I still had to figure out why Beth killed Maggie, why she killed herself, who was killing us off... Then I realised I was saying 'us' instead of them. When did I become us? It was happening I really had my story and now I was internalising it. My mind went blank. This can't be it, I have my story, I have Fe and S, and most importantly in the world is my monkey Kira. I focused my head with a sigh and then responded. 

“I understand Fe...” I took a deep breath. “I've got to see S, not Kira, not yet anyway. I'll be heading back that way anyway, can you organise a meeting or something with her after Kira goes to bed tonight. I looked at the time, and figured it would work now. I started to grab the bomber jacket I had taken off before and put it back on zipping it up. I put my hand to the speaker on the phone to stop Fe from hearing. “I've got to leave right now. Sorry, I'll explain alright. Bye.” I said, not bothering to take Helena or even think of her right now, she would be fine. I am sure people who knew her better wouldn't mind looking after her. Looking after her, she wasn't a child, I thought. “Fe are you still there? Yeah, I'm heading back now, urrr bus or somethin' I don't know just organise it alright. Text me when it's done.” I exited the building, walking with my hood up from the hoodie underneath the jacket. I don't know, I wore it because...I don't know, it gave me the same butterflies again. 

 

A few steps at a time my feet carried me down the small slope to S's house. The phone pole I had leant on the last time I saw them was now covered in ripped up weather posters. A few empty bins surrounded it from neighbours. I could see in the living room, Kira's toys were dotted about but she was probably already in bed. A tear started to slip down my cheek, and I wiped it away quickly with the back of my hand, jamming it back into the pocket of the bomber to hide it from the cold. There was something tapping at my shoulder, I turned around expecting to see some homeless guy begging for change, but when I did I was pulled forwards and to the other side of the pole. 

“Oi!” I began to shout, before realising the face of Siobhan Saddler was in front of me, angry, furrowed and waiting for an explanation. 

“I don't wan' 'to know why you haven't been back for over a year, I jus' wanna know why you didn't tell Kira.” She said simply, her hands up in the air as if she was preparing for a fight and didn't want it. Things were always between us, I was always getting into trouble, and right now I wished I never snuck behind the gym at school with vic that time and tried my first drag. I pulled my hands out of the pocket. In Miss S's hands was a flask of hot something, she was gloved up with a beanie on her head, and hard dark eyes. How would I even answer that?

“I didn't want her to get involved in my shit.” I bowed my head, I began to talk and then stopped myself, adjusting my weight a little. S grabbed my arm to keep me still. 

“Kira is not seeing you, not t'night. The only way you can look after kira, is if you show me that you can be still.” Here face was very serious. 

“I've not been good at this have I. Look this time, I know my track record, I know what I 'ave done before alright. This time it's differ--”

“Different, how this time could it be. You go off in the middle of the night, telling me to look after her and you don't come back for 13 months.” She stomped me. This time, after all I have been through in those months, after the DYAD, the clones, more DYAD...how could I even say. 

“It just is alrigh'. I'm going to apologise to her. But for now you just have to know right, that I'm...sorry. I'm just sorry. I can't tell you what happened.” S was about to protest but I put my hand up. “And you really don't want to know, it's way too...yeah. Just I need to make it up to you--”

“Oh yeah you do girlie! Look this time I'll give you one chance. One and only chance. One night.” Thank you thank you thank you!!!!! I thought to myself! I almost grinned but I needed to keep my cool. How the hell I was going to pull this off I would never know. 

“Just trust me alrigh' when I was away, I wanted to get back but I physically couldn't and..yeah I'm going to really try now.” Siobhan unscrewed the lid of the flask, poured out a cup for me and handed it over. It felt like it was on fire as my hands grasped around it. But I put it to my face and smelled it, sweet tea. Miss S smiled a little bit, the first time she had done since she tuned me around. When I drank out of the cup she took to the flask itself. I let the warm liquid fill my mouth and filter down my throat. Now I realised I was starving. 

“I'm ready to settle.” I said in a casual sorry filled voice. It took me by as much surprise as it did S. With all this death going around I didn't know how long I would be around. As a 20 something that would be exciting but now with a kid it was stupid. 

“Jeez girl somethin' really did happen to ya.” S drank some more of her tea. Her voice was a lot softer now and her face had relaxed from tense anger, it almost almost looked like she was happy to see me. The DYAD were on to me, they would probably be keeping an eye on this place, I needed to leave. 

“I've got to go--” I began with apologies in my voice as I started to move away from the pole. 

“Of course ya do.” S said, taking back my now empty cup and screwing it on to the top. “Just promise me you won't get into any more trouble again. I couldn't take it, think how Kira will...” Then she walked around me and back up to her house, finding her keys and going in. As I watched after her I looked up to Kira's room and for a second my heart skipped beats. But Kira was not at the window looking down, nothing was there but hope. 

 

– 

 

“Yeah sorry about that, I had some different non clone shit to work out. I have a theory though.” I half shouted down the clone phone, I was at the train station, it was still a foreign place and I tried to avoid them since Beth but I had to this time. “Maybe Maggie Chen was one of these people, the terminators right. Maybe she worked for the DYAD too.” I could hear Cosima on the other end typing away at her computer and taking a drag of something and blowing it out again before she spoke. 

“I can't see anything on the site, without doing anything you know, not strictly legal. And we all know what happened last time. Maybe she does, but I can't see right now. Where are you?” I couldn't answer her question straight away, I was looking down the crowded platform at a girl running towards me. A girl who looked just like me. Bollocks. What is that 9 or 10 now? 

“Cosima!” I cried before the girl tackled me to the floor, people around us cleared space instead of helping me, the phone fell somewhere out of reach. My arms struggled, she didn't have a weapon, but she was throwing punches, and kicking me in the groin. Somehow I managed through the pain to sock a punch to her eye and push her to the side, crawling on top of her. One of her hands was shielding her eye and the other was grabbing my jacket. 

“You're one of them!” The woman screamed at me. You would think by now I would be used to clones by now, but when you were trying to restrain them with both of your arms holding their down, and your legs sat across them so they couldn't kick it was hard to come to terms with it. She just kept repeating 'you're one of them' about 8 times before, I managed to keep her held down and stare into her eyes. “You've been following me all day!” She called out.

“One of who!” I called out, people were still watching and I was very aware of this, making my hood fall farther over my face so they wouldn't see the similarity. Similarity? Who am kidding we are the same person. “I've never met you before in my life.” I shouted to her face. The woman's arm broke free of my grasp, I thought she was going to hit me again but she just grabbed the flag stitched onto the left breast side of the jacket in her fists. 

“Them.” I let go of her arms still sitting on her, she went to throw some more punches but I just fought them off not attacking her. My head went wild with what she could have meant. I was right? The Socrates guys, Cal Morrison jr –the butterflies were more fluttery now adrenaline was in the mix-- was after us. My fingers pulled the flag closer to my eyes, it was their symbol not many would have this exact one. 

“I'm not anyone. I'm no one” I screamed putting my hands up, now I realised my heart was racing so fast and I could literally feel the blood crashing through my veins filled to burst with adrenaline. She eased off, just staring at me a second. Her breathing too harsh and her eyes were lighter than mine, hers were the bluest out of all of ours I had seen. When she figured out I wasn't after her or whatever, she calmed down and I got off of her. The people around us started to walk away less interested in the lack of blood and fighting. I grabbed my phone suddenly after seeing it at the end of my foot. Cosima was still on the line. 

“--OK? Are you ok? Sarah!” Cosima was shouting, with all the pain in my body now, Cosima's worried shouts were worse. I gathered my thoughts, making sure the girl sat the fuck still with my expression and hands. She did. 

“Cosima! Yeah I'm fine I'm fine. I found another one, another version of us at the train station. There is a fucking other one.” I shouted, no one was in hearing distance anymore, people had just cleared the area in case someone was caught in our cat fight. 

“Another one?! Holy watershed!” Cosima was such a noob. “Do the thing, you know the 'I'm one just a few' does she have a tattoo?!?!” I didn't even have a tattoo, fat loud of good this would do. When I turned back to her she was still weary of me, I gave her an expression as if to say it's ok, that I wouldn't hurt her so she eased up. My hands motioned for her to lift up her camouflage jacket sleeve and she did, no tattoo. God she is so well disguised in that camouflage I almost didn't see her. 

Without thinking I spoke. 

“Just one. I'm a few. No family too, who am I?” Her face knew of this and she seemed to know what I was on about. 

“I'm not saying the C-word I refuse to say the C-word.” It was then I noticed her accent too was English, but a whole other world of English. She spoke properly, the posh twat. But it wasn't even posh, there was no accent. As much no accent as an English person could have. She knew about us. She reminded me of Alison. 

“Holy crap, well, can I leave you with her?” Cosima asked me, I put the phone back close to my ear again and responded. 

“Yeah I suppose.” There was movement on her end, Delphine suddenly came onto the phone clearing her throat in the most attractive way anyone ever has. To be honest I melted slightly, before finding my hetero card again and getting over it. 

“As their name, I need to know before we can know if DYAD even knows about her.” 

“Well they must do, she jumped me because I was wearing this bomber jacket, she recognised to flag.” The woman was going to add something, but I couldn't care for her right that exact second. “What's your name?” I asked, realising Delphine had asked me to do this. The woman began to speak and then realised something before starting again. 

“Well my Birth name is Hannah Hutson, but I kinda changed it to Sam--” I didn't care for the rest of what she had to say, if she was a clone her name would be on the file. Delphine must have heard her name because she was making strange thinking noises that were so French it hurt. How can you have French thinking noises? 'Honhonhon urrr Baguette'? Shut up Sarah. 

“Yes she's on file!” Delphine finally said, oblivious to my internal monologue of stereotyping. Then I realised what the girl said. It was weird, she was so not like me. In fact she was potentially the opposite. First off, her hair was all messed up, it was shorter, styled. I was terrible at hair styles, mine was either platted at one side and the other loose, or it was all loose, no in between. Hers was short above her ears, but long enough to style into a mess. If that was possible. Her eyes were clearer than mine and to be honest a lot nicer. Her t-shirt was baggy as hell with some sort of space and star design, with a cat in weird colours with a crown in the middle. Her face was also a lot thinner. I think from the way she was sat that she had blue skinnies on and DM's but I wasn't sure. This shocked me a little, her ears were pierced but with medium stretchers, and her lip was pierced with just a stud. On her hands there were rings, with weird symbols on and around her neck there was a necklace with an upside down crucifix. Holy shite. She was a hipster. Not even the good kind that had a nice style or great looks, but she was...awful. Then something caught my ear. 

“What?” I said, asking her in the only way I knew how to repeat what she said, holding the phone between us. 

“Gender Neutral? It's like this thing where biologically I'm a girl right, but then in my head I'm not a girl or a boy or anything else, I'm just like neutral you know?” I didn't know. But somehow I knew she was going to explain it to me. I was already starting to dislike her. Or him? Her? Him? What? Once she realised I wasn't out to kill her she talked non stop. There was no sound on Cosima's end just listening. “So like you know someone's sex right, so that's the biology they have at birth or if they change it whatever. So I have female bits so I'm female right? But gender its a whole new thing, its like what you feel you are in your head. Whether you feel manly as hell, or girly, or whether you feel like a girl or a boy. Whereas I just feel...Like you know, whatever man. Like..cool. People call it non-binary, so like not straight cut girl or boy, I just call it neutral. Neither.” I still didn't quite get it but I got the gist, she was a girl, but not a girl. Cool. “Oh! And I like to be referred to as Xy meaning she or Xyr meaning her. Cus you know its like, polite and stuff.” Come to think of it xy looked gender neutral, nothing about xyr screamed girl or boy. Now I knew this was a thing, I felt so bad as an ignorant kid shouting 'is that a girl or a boy' as a joke to my friends. You fucked up Sarah. I put the phone back to my ear. 

“Totally already knew what that was!” Cosima screamed in an exciting voice, obviously high fiving Delphine at the same time. At least it wasn't with their tongues this time. “You have to find out what xy knows ok and--”

“I'm not baby sitting again, I have to figure out this shit, I have my own stuff to deal with.” I said, not really thinking about the fact xy could hear me, or was sat right next to me. Urg. Xy got up, brushed xyr self down and was about to go some where, before I got up too and followed xyr. “Actually, yeah, why not, you'll come in handy.” I said not really thinking it through. “Oh how's Alison?” I said just as I was about the hang up the phone. 

“They did the same trip to her as they did to us, just less because she looked nothing like you and played the ignorance card. But she is cool, ok, see you later, update me if--” I hung up the phone I couldn't deal with this many clones. We were all so different. I grabbed xyr's shirt and pulled them with me. 

“We need to talk, and I am starving.” I said bluntly, xy just followed behind me confused as hell and I think a little stoned. 

 

3 months ago--

Cal turned the engine on to leave his new place before his phone beeped. Cal's fingers slid down his side to his jeans pocket. On the screen was an alert. He was used to getting these, it was a hobby that he didn't catch up on very often, but this time something wanted him to open it up. The alerts were based on the DYAD building he worked at which was now half a mental hospital for the criminally insane. People went in there very rarely, even the most insane criminals were shipped off somewhere else, so when someone went there it was special. He pressed his finger on the open button and it loaded. Just a name and file attached to it. 'Elizabeth Childs'. His blood ran cold. A little numb with how all of this clone stuff was happening in just a few short days of each other, he grabbed the tan envelope pulling it to his lap and opening it. Even in his haste to investigate his thought pattern he was careful, his fingers gentle peeling back the flap. He flicked through the pages to some near the end and pulled out the sheet of clone aliases. 'Elizabeth Childs'. She was a clone. Sarah was a clone. They were all clones. He made a memory note of all of the names just so he wouldn't have to look again. 

Time to play the DYAD card. 

As Cal parked up just a little way down the road from the entrance to the DYAD hospital wing, he pulled the file down the dashboard again, quickly scribbling notes about the illness, what his dad had found about it, where it stemmed from, what it was all about and put the file back together. He stuff his own notes into his glove box and turned off the engine. He had prepared for this for weeks in case he needed to get inside. Over time he had created his own DYAD pass key, it was his old one just updated each month with a new identity of some intern and key code. This way if he needed to get in he could. Nothing he ever did these days was strictly legal. With a comb he brushed his golden brown locks back from his face and pulled on a pair of thin rimmed black glasses to add effect. Walking up through the gates he used his pass card. A lump grew in his throat and he heart skipped beats as he pushed the card into the slot and waited for the green light. It was orange for more time than he had hoped and already he was plotting getting the hell out of there before they realised someone had hacked in. As soon as he was about to pull out and go, the light switched to green and there was a buzz opening the staff gate. The security guard with his gun in pouched stared at Cal with suspicion. Cal just waved back, pushing up his glasses and walking in with a skip. He was selling the stereotype too much. With file in hand and bomber jacket in a briefcase he had acquired he made his way up to the main building. On the file had had placed a gift tag, something you would put on a present signifying who it was for, on this it said; 'To Leekie. I know.' simple enough, he hoped it would strike fear into his eyes. This was top secret DYAD intel, and Cal was holding it. Not that Leekie would know. In Leekie's eyes it would be someone in the shadows, someone that would bribe him with whatever he wanted. Cal had even shaved off his scruffy beard, without it, even to himself he was unrecognisable. Which was great because he knew for a fact they would still have his face on the facial recognition software.

“Greetings!” Cal said in the weirdest way he could have imagined it even took him by surprise. “I need this to be sent to Dr. A. Leekie right away please, otherwise I don't get paid.” Cal laughed at the receptionist, she stared at him with a look of disgust and annoyance, she took the file and went to hand it back. 

“All files concerning payroll are sent to Mrs Makintosh if this is an urgent matter I can put it in my to do list to file later today.” She started to explain the system to Cal. He had no time for this. Outside he could see the transport vehicle with Elizabeth inside, being brought about the back. 

“You know what I lied. This is top secret information that is for Leekie's eyes only, he told me to give it to you as this is the fastest route to him. Please give it to him, and say it is payroll documents. Otherwise he'll have my balls in a vice for giving it away. I'm new here alright just do this one favour.” Cal pleaded in a snotty infected sinus sort of way. The woman stared back and then nodded, motioning for a man to come and collect it for delivery. This place was so big they had personal couriers. But before the courier could, a woman stepped in his path, a doctor or staff member with a white lab coat. Her hair was in beautiful blonde curls with a dark under layers and he was suddenly attracted to her. Even more so when she spoke. 

“I'm going to Dr. Leekie's office now if you want me to take it.” The receptionist nodded. And the woman took it. Her voice was as if she spoke in soft French velvet, and he melted a little. He tapped his fingers on the desk and with a cheeky smile he winked to the lady and began to walk down to the new patient ward, slapping his key card against the machine with another wink at her as it went green, he disappeared down the hall. Just as he did he looked behind him to the blonde lady about to go through some double doors, she was looking at the note attached to the file. It was too late now he couldn't go back. A sudden feeling of worry came over him if someone else read what was inside. Arrivals would have to be checked in and taken to their rooms, all Cal had to do was check which doctor was in charge of this, distract them and get there first. He was almost at the gate, so he grabbed the arrivals notes from the dispensary attached to the wall and looked at them with an eager eye on the entrance. No doctor had been attached yet so he added a name that came to mind, closed the book and put it back waiting at the door. Within a few moments in the small white walled area there was movement outside of the fenced up glass doors. Cal opened it with his key card, and helped the guards and orderlies get Elizabeth out of the van. She was drugged up so much she couldn't even open her eyes, and sat in a wheel chair. 

“Elizabeth hi, I am doctor Nawaz.” Cal realised now that he did not choose a name that suited his ethnicity, but brushed it off anyway. With all this political correctness going mad they wouldn't say a thing. Cal took the clipboard off of one of the men, scrawling an illegible signature down, and reading the notes. 'Shot civilian in line of duty, attempted cover up, pleased guilty. Charged as unable to stand trial. Lifetime imprisonment in the DYAD institute.' Cal knew that they would not take this case on an ordinary day. He looked to the girl. She looked exactly like Sarah in every single way. It made his stomach flip and he gulped. Although he could see the differences, this clone had no make up, or if she did it was natural, she sat up a little differently. But then again with all the drugs who knew. But then she mumbled something, twisting about in the chair as she was coming too. Cal realised. 

“You're not Beth.” He said this with such a taint in his voice the other staff looked at him with strange expressions, wanting answers. “--You're now called 324b22, which is your patient identity.” This much was true, this would be her number, he had read it in the file. Elizabeth started to come too again, just about to open her eyes. In instinct Cal moved out of the way, to make sure she didn't see him. It could be a trick of the light, it could be just a manifestation in his head, but for some reason he knew that was Sarah sat there and not anyone else. Just the way she moaned when she was waking up, unless it was a clone thing and every thing she did, every thing he had been thinking about for the last 8 years was just a genetic thing. Either way it would ruin his plan if she saw him so he gave them back the stuff and walked around. His jaw tensed up at the memory of what else he had been thinking about 8 years ago, the £10,000 she stole. But for now he let it pass. With a geeky grin the orderlies took her out of the chair and dragged her down an adjacent hall to the waiting rooms. Cal watched after the way she went, the way her body was limp and disorientated. Apart from the drugs she seemed fine, there was no symptoms that his dad had written about, the coughing up blood, the flushed colour of her face. So he assumed she was fine. Where ever the real Elizabeth was, Cal just hoped she wasn't another one of Sarah's marks, and he hoped to god Sarah did not kill her and take her identity to get caught in this mess.

On his walk back through the building he went to visit his dad's old lab now he knew some more about him. Through the old out of place wooden doors he came into the courtyard. It was cooling down for winter now November was Cal's favourite time of year so he put hs hands in his pocket looking around before stepping out into the grounds. Walking to the door he thought about how his father had probably walked the same way and he felt some kind of warmth come over him. Before being reminded of his mothers ability to never walk again. As he reached the old lab door, which was now rotting wood he put his hand to the handle and pushed it open. Inside it was dark and musty, like the smell of old books, but mixed with rotting mowed lawns and damp. He closed the door behind him and took off his glasses to really see. It was now used as a supply room for the caretaker but he knew that layout from looking at maps online. He knew that his father must have stood in this exact position looking at his desk when he first came in, naive and unaware of his future. Cal walked forward and put his hands out imagining the desk, the high, the chair, the machines. It all felt so familiar. With reluctance he opened up his briefcase and pulled out the jacket, holding it in his hand. He put the briefcase down on the floor, and held it up with both hands, letting the light from the small window in the corner cast over it. 

“Goodbye dad.” Cal said, a small tear dropping from his chin. This was the first time he knew anything about his dad, and it would be the last time he thought about it anymore. There was a hook and some tools hanging up in an opposite corner, carefully he walked over to it, placing the jacket on its fob, letting it hang there. He stepped back almost falling on something before getting his bearing and wiping the tears away with the tip of his fingers. He didn't know Cal Edward Morrison sr, and he never would. But in this moment he felt that he always had. It felt like some kind of closure. When he turned back around looking to the door he noticed something hanging on the back. A flag, it was tatty and old, dusty as hell where it had not moved in so long, but he knew it immediately. It was the hemlock cup, it was the signature of his father's movement. His fingers traced over it's surface, leaving ripples of dust in the shape of his tips. Without another thought he took it down folded it up and put it into his case, sealing it shut and getting out of there. For his parents he would do this one thing. For his mother he would take up what his father did, he would take up his mission to stop the unethical treatment of the clones, the people. He would find the, help cure them of this damn illness and save them all, cut their ties with DYAD..he would do that for his mother because he father never could. 

Rest in Peace, Cal Edward Morrison sr. 

Cal remembered the list again, there were 4 from America, 2 from England (even though one was here) and the rest dotted around Europe. He would go to Europe first, then England, then back to America. At least that way he could come back to finish what he started. As he left the room, going back across the courtyard and back into the main building, Dr Leekie watched out of his office window, down across the scene. 

“I want to know how he knows about all 4 of the clones. I want reports from all of the people we sent after him.” Leekie said watching, standing at the window looking down his hands behind his head. 

“But sir, those men are dead.” A staff member said. Leekie gritted his teeth. 

“So are four of my girls because this man knows about them! This man went after them, where would get get this information?!


	17. Maggie Chan.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did Beth shoot Maggie Chan?

Part 17

“What are you doing in NY?” I said with a mouth loaded with fries and hamburger. A small bit of lettuce escaped my grasp and fell to the burger box below. Sam just watched with a disgusted look, xy had only ordered a kids meal of fish sticks which I also wanted to eat at this point. My stomach was starving for food, a few pancakes and syrup this morning did not fill me up. Eventually xy did respond. 

“Urr well trying to find you guys actually. Except I was sent to find Beth and well, you don't look like her.” At Beth's name I chocked a little bit on my food, before figuring out how the mouth works and swallowing properly. Xy didn't know Beth was dead?...Maybe xy has information about her death or what is really happening to the Europeans now crazy Cal jr is hunting us all down. 

“Yeah, that's because I'm Sarah.” I said with an edge, cramming some more of this huge burger into my mouth. 

“Hmmm, I haven't seen your name anywhere. Do you at least have the tattoo?” Sam asked with a smirk, and I lifted up my sleeve and all there was were scars, and then I put it back down. No tattoo. Why would I have a tattoo I've known of the clones like 3 days. 

“I'm new.” This sounded like I was a new member to a club or a job or a chess team but no, it was new to a...family? Sisterhood? Well not now there was this kid in the mix. Even though they were clones this one seemed a lot younger but they were also dressed like a twat so it could be that. Who wears space tops with cats these days. 

“New.” Sam said with an edge like mine. “New how?” Xy had a cute smirk too, I tried to keep my hetero inside of me. 

“As in I have known about my membership to clone club for about 2 days now.” Then I realised something, it had literally been two days and it felt like a life time. All the stuff I had known, got myself into, the people I'd met. It was all too much for some 29 year old drifter who would never settle. Then I gulped, S was serious. I would need to settle. I took the last bits of my burger into my mouth and chewed, licking my fingers and then picking up the chips. Mulling over S's words. Kira came to my head, I wore I saw her in that window. Or if I didn't actually see her, I had just missed her. 

“Crap, that's new. How long have you been in the states?” In England no one called it the states, the states were liquid, gas and solids, not the USA. We called it America. Because that's what it was. A land mass with different lines drawn over it with a way too complicated government ranking system. In England it was, parliament. The queen just sat on a throne with no real power for anything. Who ever was the priminister had no power either, it was the houses of lords. The posh twats who sat in a room all day and disregarded everything the people said, or pushed through stuff the people didn't want. Although they did something good recently and finally caught up with the rest of Europe and legalised gay marriage totally, apart from in this one church because too much gay is a bad thing right? 

“Since I was 12. I was fostered at 8. Stuck in the system for a while you know..I guess like the rest of us.” I realised then that my fostering story would not be as significant now, seeing as none of us had real parents. By real I mean biological, they chromosomes mashed together and made a baby. We were just put into their wombs, after being copied and clones about 12 times. “What about you?” Sam nibbled at the end of a fish stick, xy wiped xyr hands on some napkins and smiled at me. 

“Yeah same story, except I was 17 when I moved here, hence why I still have the accent. You know psychology says that if you have an accent formed at 10 years old, you more likely than not to keep it. Also--” Sam went on a random topic about accents and psychology. I finished off my chips and slurped loudly on my milkshake so that I couldn't hear xyr. 

“So what did you need to talk to Beth about?” I wanted to hold onto the whole Socrates thing and the bomber jacket until after this information. Just thinking about the bomber jacket made me go funny again. I mentally punched myself. Get your shit together.

“Well that's for Beth to know isn't it.” Sam said with an annoying twang of some accent. It resonated in the air and sounded horrible, although xy thought it was funny. 

“Beth dead.” I said very simply taking the straw back in my mouth and sucking up the cool ice. Sam just stared at me. Beth's death caught up with me again, I met Sam at the train station. I met another clone there. It was like a place where we would all meet. How could a person I have known for such a small amount of time have this much affect on me. I've known the local Jehovah's witnesses longer and if they died I wouldn't be effected. Xy swallowed xyrs fish stick and looked gormless at me, then xyrs jaw tightened. 

“When.” 

“October. Of last year.” My food was totally finished and this medium milkshake was not lasting. Sam dropped xyr food back into the box and pushed it along the table. 

“How?” I didn't really want to talk about it again, but I guess xy came here for one reason, to talk to Beth. And now xy couldn't. 

“Jumped in front of a train.” Sam scoffed a little bit, not eating the last bits of food in his mouth properly before swallowing so suddenly.

“Shit.” 

“I know.” Was all I could say. I was suddenly not very hungry. “I knew her back in October, but I thought I was her twin. So when I found out the real deal I stuck around for a bit. One day she wasn't at home when I woke up, I found her at the train station...” I trailed off. It was getting a little heavy so I asked xyr again. “What was the message for Beth.” Sam was looking at me with an air that was a little too serious for my liking. Xy pushed xyr hair up from xyr forehead and wiped it across. Carefully messing it up again, although it was already pretty messy. 

“I was supposed to say 'The people coming. It is not her.'” Sam leaned across the table as xy said this, a glint in xyr eye of something. God xyr eyes were nice. Even though they were mine? No these were definitely better. Oh shit! I dropped my hetero card, I bent down and regained my straight. 

“What the hell does that mean?” I asked catching my breath as xy leant back across xyr side of the table. 

“I don't know. All I know is Danielle told me to tell Beth. Tell her that someone called Maggie was not the mark.” 

“Maggie Chan!” I broke across xyr speaking and looked around the room, realising that Maggie was probably all over the news back when I, well Beth was institutionalised. To be honest the police are probably crawling all over this place looking for me, and now they'd find two. I lowered my voice. “There was a mark? Did Danielle tell you anything else?” I guess Danielle was another clone, it was hard to keep up with it all. 3 days and you think I would be fine but now. The clock clicked over to midnight.

“The name sounds familiar...but I don't know. Maybe?” 

“What mark, who was she trying to kill?” I was really interested? So whatever Beth knew, whether they were talking to each other across oceans or not, Beth knew that there were people killing us off. Maybe she thought Maggie was the mark? The person that was hunting us down. A little late now. But maybe she realised, and after taking a life with so much guilt and remorse. 

“I don't know. It could be to do with the whole killing us off thing. You know the people who's jacket you are wearing?” It was Cal that was killing us off. But xy said people, more than one? Beth shot Maggie because she was a mark, a person she thought she had too. Maybe she realised she fucked up, pleaded guilty thinking it would be the only thing to keep her safe, being in one of the most prestigious unbreakable buildings in the world. Then again maybe she thought the safest thing would to not be around when they came looking for real. I looked to my jacket. 

“People?” Time to play the project Socrates card. 

“Yes! A whole group of them, this guy came and met up with Danielle, telling her all these stories about the clones about what he knew, saying his dad created us or some bullshit. Then he was running tests on her, taking her blood, more tests. She had some kind of cancer, like lung caner or something. When he left, I came back and Danielle was dead. At first I thought he was helping her with some illness, but she just deteriorated. When I went to the room where she was kept men were there looking her over, probably to finish her off if she wasn't already dead. They chased me but evidently I got away. Danielle said just before this she died that if anything happened that I needed to tell Beth that she was wrong, that Maggie wasn't the mark and that it was..but she never finished it. She died August 20, before Beth. After that 3 others followed” I listened intently to the story. My milkshake was finished, and I was shattered, but I needed to know more.

“Shite. I am sorry.” I put my hand out to xyrs, but xy pulled away just holding the drink that xy had and taking a sip. At the story xyr eyes began to tear up. 

“Did the guy have this symbol?” I asked grabbing the flag symbol on my left side. Sam nodded. 

“The first guy did, the group of guys didn't but I know they were together. I just know. I swear they followed me here. I swear that I saw one of them at the station, I was heading over to Beth's house...but I guess now it was you. Why the hell are you even wearing that jacket?” I realised now that I was still wearing it, ever since I got it I wanted it on. Obviously at Cosima's the weed made me so relaxed I wanted to just chill in the room temperature. I guess one of the normal things to do with that feeling was to take it off. There was just a comfort in it. I wanted to say that I liked the material or the fabric or the warmth. But somehow I knew it wasn't just that, there was something in it that sent butterflies over me. Why it evoked such intense feelings in me I didn't know.   
I chose not to answer. 

“How come it took you so long to get here?” I asked, it seemed pretty obvious. If Danielle had died or murdered or whatever in August and it was now January that was a long time. 

“Believe me I tried to get here, but I had no money. I followed this guy around the world, after Danielle he went to others I don't know the names of. But when I followed him eventually to each place, they were either already dead or murdered in some phony way. That's why I just know this group were with him. They were following him in each country, they had to be with him. Then I ran out of money and was working back in England until I had enough to come here.”   
,  
Finger tapped across the table as someone came over and cleared our stuff away. I had this little pain in my head again. No where near as bad as normal as if it was a warning or maybe I just remembered something small but right now I had no idea what it was, I just knew that Cal couldn't be killing the clones. Somewhere in me I felt like I already knew him. My mind ticked over and I figured this is the only person that has ever met Cal that is still alive. I need xyr. 

August 2012

Cal pulled up his zip to his pants, flushing the urinal and walking over to the sinks, pumping soap into his hand and scrubbing it in. He smiled at the guy next to him with a friendly look, not intentionally creepy. But Cal remembered that guys hated talking in urinals, they think you are being a predator or something. Maybe they should think about that principal next time they follow girls around clubs and harass them. Then again, maybe Cal should just not smile at them. When he came back out into the arrivals terminals of the airport his duffel bag slung over his shoulder he looked around. There were a few shady looking men in suits hanging around the toilet doors and it was busy, but then airports always were. He found the doors, and headed for them. Coming into contact with a cool French air. It first port of call would be to get in contact with Danielle Fournier. He hired a taxi and told them the address he needed to get to. When Danielle answered her phone,  
the first thing he said was the only way she could gain his trust. 

“I'm one. Just a few. Not family too, who am I?” There was a pause with breathing on the other end. In French the woman responded, Cal new little French but he understood what she said. 

“Who is this?” Danielle responded. Cal tried his best French that he could, he was fluent when he was 10 but now..

“My name is Cal Morrison jr, I have some vital information about your condition that may actually help. Urrrrr your respiratory condition, I can help with it. I am a specialist in genetic disorders like this..”

“How did you get this number?” Danielle asked her voice horse as she coughed repeatedly, and hen calmed down. 

“Look I need to meet up with you immediately, I am already on my way. I'll explain everything when I get there. I know you are ill, I can help you, I just need time.”

“Time is not something I have a lot of.” Danielle said, hanging up phone. Cal ground his teeth together, hung up too and watched the surrounds blur past. There was traffic but it didn't matter, he needed more time to think about what he was going to say. He had slept the whole flight over. 

When the car pulled up to the front of the modern apartment block, he took something out of his duffel and told the taxi to take it to his hotel and ask them to take it to his room. He checked in online. The taxi agreed and he paid in advance. His hand ran through his hair, pushing it behind his ear and flattening the new scruff he was growing after having to shave it off. With a deep breath he pressed the buzzer on the door. 

“It's Cal Morrison, we talked on the phone.” There was a long pause, then the door opened slightly. He double checked her floor number and started to jump up the stairs in long strides. When he reached her door a nurse looking person opened it. Immediately Cal was hit with a stench of heavily lived in home, totally contrasting the clean and modern lobby. As she invited him in with a smile he walked in dipping his tall head slightly through the door. The nurse took him down a small hall through a living room type place and into a bed room. But it was no longer a bedroom. Danielle was laid down, her hair feathered in chunks over her head, her face pale and weak. She smiled very wearily and told the nurse to leave them for a minute. Cal walked to the end of the bed picking up what looked like her file and started to read it, giving her a promising smile. He didn't think she would be able to talk much by the state she was already in so he kept it very simply, sitting at a seat that was by the bed. An IV drip was attached to her an tubes were pressed up her nose and behind her ears, disappearing somewhere. Cal smiled again, keeping his hands to himself. It was weird, she looked just like Sarah. Just like her in mostly every way, except this woman had long curly dark hair and thick eyebrows. There was not the cheeky smirk Sarah always had on her. There was nothing but pain. 

“Hello, just call me Cal.” He said in English this time, in case the nurse could hear. He had a feeling she didn't speak his language. Danielle did, and responded. 

“Hi, call me Danielle.” There was a friendliness in her voice but it was clouded over by an eruption of coughs, blood spattering into a cloth held by her hand. Cal got up putting he file back down and looking around him. 

“How long has this been happening? How long has there been blood in your tissues?” Cal was concerned she was the first clone he had met aside from Sarah and she was already dying. If he didn't help she would die. She told him it had been about 3 months and that there were others. “I know.” Cal said. “I know about the...clones.” Danielle tensed up as he inserted a different concentration of liquids into her drip. The nurse had no idea what this was and he did. He knew that it was a disease designed to kill them off around this age. A disease that would secure their illegal cloning trials as never existing. An end to the prototypes. All he needed would be his notes on the genetic sequence, find out what part it was and figure out a cure for it. 

Over the next few days he ran tests on her blood on her breathing on her body. He used a local private hospital playing the DYAD card and saying that he was a personal doctor to Danielle and he needed to use their facilities. Insurance and health and safety forms later they had their own lab. When Danielle began to trust she invited her only trusted clone, Sam to her house. Sam used up her savings travelling over their for a few weeks, as Danielle could barely afford any of what she was having to do. 

One day Cal was walking back from a corner shop wit some continental breakfast stuffs when he noticed some men walking out of the shop too. He looked behind him slightly when walking, shoving a croissant into is mouth as he did, taking a bite and turning back around. The buttery pastry melted in his mouth but the image of those men burning into his skull. They were the same guys hanging about the airport toilets when he arrived in the country. When he realised this he wanted to brush it off as just a coincidence he was in Paris after all. But something about them meant he could not. So he kept walking, quickening his step as he walked out across the small road to the other side. His ears pricked as they heard the men follow suit a little bit later. Around a corner and up some stairs he caught their eyes and they stared. He jumped the last few steps up to the main road and walked along it's edge up to Danielle's house. Somehow he knew this would not be the place to take them but how could he shake them when he didn't even know who they were. Without really thinking he climbed up onto the top of the wall at the beginning of a bridge the road was going onto, looked over the other side, dropped his shopping and jumped, just as the men broke the top of the stairs. With a massive shooting pain Cal hit the ground and rolled forward, dissipating the force of jumping and pain over his body and stood back up. Feeling a little worse for ware grabbed his bag and started to run into the park that was under the bridge. From behind some tree's he watched the men on the bridge. They were acting casual just walking, but looking around with their eyes. Cal hid a little more, out of breath and unfit and watched. One of them waved their hand and they all crowded around. They said something to each other and then walked the opposite way to Danielle's house. Cal swore that he saw one point to it though, a panic built up in him but he focused on what he had to do. For whatever reason and for how ever long, people had been following him from the air port. How he had not noticed them before in the last few weeks were beyond him, his hand flowed through his hair and looked around. There was a way up on the other side of the bridge from the park to the road which was right by her house, but he would have to get over the small water that flowed under it first. Cal found a small pedestrian bridge, crossed it and ran over to the steps, looking around at the top for the guys, before sprinting the last bits back to her apartment. When he pressed the buzzer an English voice spoke back. For a second he thought it was Sarah and his heart dropped, but then realised this person was too standard for Sarah. Sarah was from Brixton, where if you spoke the way this did you would get the shit kicked out of you. He said his part and as let up. When he got there an androgynous person answered, he wasn't really sure about the gender of the person so he got their name. 

“Sam.” The person said, Cal nodded in acknowledgement of it. The name didn't give any clues so he just brushed it off. 

“Are you gonna cure her?” Sam said, handing over some instant coffee to Cal, he took it straight away sipping its boiling contents. Ignoring the pain he gulped. 

“I am trying. God am I trying. It's just proving to be more complicated than I first thought. It's nothing that has ever been documented before. All I know is that it imitates some thing called polyps which are clumps of cells, I've found some in her lung which might cause the bleeding and they are cancerous. And I think from what I know that you are designed to have this illness that it will happen and you will die.” Cal said honestly taking more of the hot coffee. Sam hadn't drunk any of theirs yet, just listening. “It seems to spread from the uterus, which might explain why Danielle is infertile. To the rest of the system lastly the lungs. She seems to be in the last stages. Do you know of the other clones, the other people who might have this?” Truth is Cancers of this type didn't just have a cure, there wasn't one thing he could do that would just work and she would be cured. He might have days. He needed years. His internal voice groaned, if only he had known about them sooner. Sam finally drank some coffee before speaking. 

“I don't know names, but Dani keeps them written down some where in case she needs to pass it to me. I'm on a need to know...” Cal was hopeful at least there was some kind of documentation, his notes were at his hotel. 

“How do you know Danielle?” Cal said, trying to turn the subject away from Sam's impending death to something nicer. 

“I was travelling with some friends, we came here last, just over the water you know. We travelled everywhere. But near the end of the trip we all had our own engagements so I was in Paris doing some thing one day and boom. There I was staring at me, she looked exactly like me in every way except she wore awful French fashion and looked like she was 50 before she was even 30. And she came over to me and said 'I'm one, just a few, no family too, who am I?' at first I thought I was crazy. I was high at the time and this was trippy as fuck.” Cal really found the posh Oxford area accent swearing funny, but he held it in. It was strange some one who sounded so..'proper' spoke in this way. “Some how she convinced me to stay a few days in Paris with her telling me all of this stuff about the clones and how there are loads of us and well, I still thought she was crazy and went back to England.” Cal drank some more. 

“Can I have the addresses and numbers?” Cal hoped that regardless of what she said that she did know the addresses. Sam paused and then finally moved out of the kitchen and too the bookshelf in Danielle's room. Out of a book she pulled some paper and handed it over. 

“I only have one name, Elizabeth Childs, Danielle said that this person was helping us something. I don't know her role. She lives in America, in New York. Either way, they were corresponding. Beth said someone was hunting us down.” Sam suddenly went cold, handing over the papers. Cal didn't look just yet, just put them into his jeans pocket. There was an awkward silence between the both of them, only broken by his pager. If anything happened, if there was any changed in Danielle or something was wrong it would go off. He dropped his coffee on her kitchen side and went back out of the apartment. Sam followed behind and they got a taxi over to her hospital. Sam stayed outside. When Cal went into the room, Danielle had deteriorated dramatically she was pale, the colour completely drained from her. I was the only doctor allowed on her case, so I was the first in. I checked her vitals, checked her eyes, saw if she was responsive. She wasn't crashing but she wasn't far from it. There was nothing I could do to save her except make the pain go away and keep giving her chemotherapy. She hated the chemo part but it was the only way to tackle the cancer that she responded to. Cal filled up her IV with some more medicine and went back out to Sam. Sam was sat on the edge of the chair by the door. 

“She is not well at all. If you have anything to say to her. Or.. you know. Now is the time to do it.” Cal said his hands far in his pockets. Sam got up and walked into the room, brushing harshly past Cal. There was a lot of tension between the two of them, ever since he had first met Sam. But it wasn't on his part. He left the hospital. 

A few days later he had the same pager, running this time as he wasn't that far he texted Sam to get their straight away. Cal just had a feeling that this was the end for her. She had not been doing well at all and now this. When he got there she was already gone. Her balding head shining against the antiseptic lights. Her eyes were glazed over and she was just staring at the ceiling. Cal couldn't deal with this much death in one month. He called in one of the nurses to deal with it covering his eyes and feeling his panic filling his insides. 

 

Ukraine was the last place Cal went to before America, to a convent in some backward town. He had serious doubts about whether she would still be there, she would be 28 now and if she was anything like Sarah, would have bolted along time ago. A little sadness came over him but he brushed it off, '8 years ago man, get over that girl.' It wasn't about getting over her to him, it was about some how reconciling how she would let him fall for her and steal 10,000. It was not alright. She didn't even leave a note. His fist rapped at the wooden door to the stone building. There was no answer straight away but he heard gentle footsteps coming from somewhere. Eventually a sollom looking woman answered with a small appreciative smile. Cal couldn't speak Ukrainian but he hoped he wouldn't have to. This was an English speaking area, although not officially. His hands ran through his hair one and then he began to talk. 

“”Hello, my name is Call Morrison and I am looking for a Helena...” He realised he didn't have a last name. “..urr, she was born 1984 and is about 28 now?” The woman just watched him speak, her expression not changing. When Cal finished, she stared at him blankly said something in Ukrainian or Russian or some eastern European language he didn't know. The woman wearing her habit waved at him, inviting him, saying some thing more and closing the door behind him. They were not modern at all, but did have energy saving light bulbs. To be honest the summer sun was lighting it up quite well through the giant stain glass windows, but it cast a blue and red all over the grey stone. She took him into a room with a man wearing what looked like a priest outfit, but Cal wasn't really used to the hierarchy or names of positions in the church. The man closed his book, got up from his chair behind his great oak desk, pulled his glasses lower on his nose. 

“..Tomas” Cal's earns pricked at a word he knew, a name, Tomas. He extended his hand and the man took it smiling politely. The woman spluttered more words and Cal's ears pricked again “Helena.” 

“Hello sir.” The man Tomas probably said, inviting me to sit on the chair opposing him. It was dusty in here and smelt like church, it was really difficult to describe the smell of church in comparison to anything other than church. 

“Hi, my names Cal Morrison.” Cal said running his hands through his hair to push it behind his ear. “I'm here to ask about someone that might be here, a woman named Helena. I need to find her and the last place she was recorded to be was here.” Cal explained there was an edge in his voice, weary that the man's English may suffer after hello. But surprisingly the man was America or from that region, his voice was western and his English was impressive. 

“Helena...” Tomas thought. He leaned back on his oak chair his arms folded across him. He unfolded them and began to talk. “Helena is not here anymore, she left went away when she was 18. The only Helena we have had here, surprisingly considering the country.” The man was friendly enough but Cal felt a little displaced here. And it wasn't the fact he hasn't followed a religion in years. Cal felt at a lost, he had no idea of how to chase Helena now. 10 years was a long time. 

“Do you have a photo?” Cal asked innocently. 

“May I ask why you are interested in our Helena?” Our Helena? Cal thought, and adjusted his sitting. Tomas sat a little closer. Cal was at a loss for words, he forgot that it would look weird coming to a country for the first time and asking questions about a person who used to live there. 

“I am trying to reunite her family.” He came out with. Tomas was very sceptical. 

“Helena was an orphan, she has no family.” Tomas was cool all of a sudden. 

“Exactly, I am reuniting her and her real twin sister.” 

“Twin?” Tomas said, he was not surprised, he actually seemed annoyed and angry more than anything. Cal didn't understand this reaction. 

“Picture?” Cal pushed the man. Tomas got up, Cal tensed feeling a little threatened. This man must have been just pushing 45 stocky, with a balding head around the forehead. He walked over to some book case full of files and document folders, out of which he pulled and very thin looking folder. Out of it he pulled her sign up sheet, from what Cal could see there was nothing else in there. Cal took the page, and the picture clipped to it. The girl was pretty like Sarah and the rest, but there was a darkness to her, blonde white tight curls pounced out of her head and her eyes were bright but a little red around the edges. The date 2002, she would have been 18. Cal tried to take a memory of the face, before he read the rest of the file, but it was taken back before he could even find out what her last name was. 

“That was her on her birthday we assigned for her, just before she went away.” Tomas enlightened. Cal felt uncomfortable about the way he said 'went away' rather than left or came of age. It felt like she was a book or a toy that had to be put back in the box. He realised where he had seen this woman before. When Cal went to Austria he was at the airport and saw a woman who looked just like this, again in Italy, and Germany before Kaija was shot by the people following him. But not here. She was docile and never spoke to him or came too close. He thought she was going to murder him or something, like those men had tried to. The ones which he had to kill. It was a chance that it was her. A clone protecting the other clones. He realised for a moment it would look suspicious a doctor flying all over the world, and if they know of the other clones it would spark that I was going to these places to see them. That's why he hadn't confronted her when he felt she was following his walk to his hotel. As long as she didn't try anything he would be ok. One thing Cal had planted though to make them understand in case he...expired, was a photograph. A photograph of his father at work that he had found. He gave it to Katija to try and get to her to understand that he knew. But she had never heard of it before, it didn't shock him but she didn't seem to look it up before he left the country. Which made him angry as that was his only photograph of his dad at work. 

 

As Cal left the convent he swiped open his phone and dialled the number he had been wanting too ever since he saw the photo of Helena. Cal stood outside of the building, looking out over green fields and rolling hills. The phone rang and a female voice on the other side picked up. 

“Maggie, Helena isn't here. The man I spoke to said something about America, that she was finding her family on her own. Although when I played the family card he was not having it.” The woman responded. “I need you to go to America and seek out one Elizabeth Child's. If we are going to see if they are all safe, I need to find Helena.” The woman spoke some more into his ear, but his attention was taken by someone standing and watching him in the distance with what looked like a gun. Trying to act completely calm even though his heart was beating so fast and his feet were shaking. He moved a little like someone would when they are on the phone, looking the other way but keeping an eye on her. On the phone Maggie was finishing off what she said. Concentrating on the woman in the distance, who looked like it could be a silhouette for Helena. He closed his eyes and looked at the building. The sun was right behind her, so even if it was Helena he would not be able to see. Cal continued. “If Katija did what I suggested and was in contact with Elizabeth then she would already know about us. Just give her the code name, Socrates, she'll know. I don't know of the other clones right now and where they are based, I left my flies at the hotel. Danielle's note didn't have any other names aside from Beth and the Europeans, there could be more.” Maggie said something, Cal turned again, trying to make his movements unpredictable in case that was Helena and Helena was going to kill him, she couldn't do it easily. Eventually he hung up on the phone without a final word and turned to face the sun again. She was gone. Cal's heart dropped, he tried not to look around, to not invite her in for an attack. She had look about her that made him feel like if any one in the world, she could kill. When he got to the car he hired out, he saw something in the windows reflection. On turning there was the woman from the photo graph, except where she was smiling cheekily, this face was one of anger and fire. 

“WHO ARE YOU!?” Helena screamed pushing Cal with her fists on his shoulders against the car. “WHY YOU HUNT MY SESTRAS?!” Cal didn't fight back, not out of some kind of masculine superiority, but because he was not a fighter unless he had to be. Like when his life was in danger. 

“I'm friendly!! I'm friendly!” Cal shouted to her, conscious of whether the convent would hear. “I'm here to help! Trust me I'm here to help!” Her eyes were wild and untamed, her hair even bushier and electric than the photo could have described. She was older and looked just like Sarah. Again she thrust him against the car and he just took it, his hands up in the air in surrender. She had a gun in her hand, its metal tip pressed deep into his neck. Her face right up in his, her breathing heavy on his skin. 

“You hunt us.” Her voice was thick with accent and her words slurred like she was crazed or ill. Cal gulped, looking all around before he stared back into her yes. 

“I am not here to hurt you! I just want to talk! This is serious!” Cal was pleading with all of his horse throat the gun still prominently aimed at his head. Helena listened to his words and for one second she thought about it. Before her eyes shot open and the gun thrust harder into Cal's neck, he cried out but realised that she wasn't attacking him when the sound of a gun shot that was not her cracked through the air. Helena stumbled backward clutching herself and Cal just stared oblivious to what was going on. Then he looked to his left where she was hurt. There were a group of men advancing in a truck, one was hanging out of the window a great gun in his hand. Cal ran forward but Helena pointed her gun at him, thinking he had done something. He flinched as she pulled the trigger and it grazed into his side. He cried out heaving backwards into his car door, he didn't even need to think she just tried to open the door as the pain seared through him like wires short circuiting, like hair being ripped out in chunks, like he was dead. One in the car through the pain he slammed the car down on the gas pedal and dragged himself out of the convent. In the rear view he saw Helena collapsed to the floor, the men in the car didn't even give her a second look, driving straight past her narrowly missing her head with the wheel. Blood spurted out with every movement Cal made, his hand clutching at it, trying to do something, to comfort it, to keep it away from more danger. 

The men were still behind so he swerved his car into the tree line crashing through some small trees, that were dying. The men did too but Cal sort of knew his way, some time before he had been here on scientific research, more to find his dad research thank his own. He avoided all of the tree's that were sturdy as hell and would batter the shit out of his car. The ones that the disease was killing off back in 2007. His car broke through the other side, tree's and branches stuck to his bonnet. The other side was just a long short field that was just harvested, mud everywhere but smooth enough to drive on. Cal had made it at least have way across the way before the other car crashed through, more battered and broken than his own. The pain from the bullet cut through him like a thousand daggers repeatedly stabbing at the same spot. After a while the pain became normal. Their car stopped about half way just as Cal broke through a hedge line onto a dirt track, swerving the car straight, stopping slightly and then roaring off again, sounding a little shaky to be able to keep going. Eventually when the men were no longer mobile he was away, the gun shot missing anything important, just a flesh wound, Cal reassured himself as it started to hurt more and more with every movement or bump in the car. Along the road was a shack so he pulled up behind it hiding the car from the road and got out, grabbed his phone and dialled, his hand putting pressure on the wound. 

“Maggie!” Cal cried out, just speaking made the pain a thousand times worse. “I've been shot! There are men after me, they shot Helena!” Maggie was saying something on the other end, he listened more carfully. 

“I've found Beth! She's here in New York I'm following her at the moment.” Maggie Chan said, her voice quiet. Then she must have registered what Cal said. “Oh shit Cal are you ok? Get to a doctor, phone me as soon as-” There was a piercing cracking sound that made the phone burn at Cal's ear. He pulled it away, shocked, because he knew that sound. 

“MAGGIE!?” Cal shouted out, at this his hunched forward in pain, spitting blood on the floor. “Maggie! Was that a gun shot?” All he could hear on the other end was the sound of some thing hitting the floor, the phone grinding the concrete. “MAGGIE!” Cal shouted again. Even through the pain, even through the fucking pass out worthy pain that was making his insides ignite with fire, he was more worried about Maggie. She was not responding, he kept shouting down the phone, he kept pacing and shouting. He couldn't hear anything but some one breathing heavily, what seemed like a car pulling up and someone running out. 

“Beth!?” Someone shouted, it sounded like a man's voice, deep. “What the hell did you do?!?!” All call could do was listen to what was happening on the other side. Beth or whoever else there was, who ever shot Maggie, was not speaking. There was some ruffling and the phone went dead.


	18. Old debts and love

Part 18 

When we eventually went to sleep at Helena's place, Helena being god knows where we decided we needed to video call everyone, introduce them finally. I didn't know how much they knew about this one, maybe Cosima already knew but the gender neutral thing was more exciting. Either way Sam happened to have xyr laptop in some of the bags xy had at the train station, accompanied with a dongle or something like a dongle. 

“It's simple you just put this in and it catches your phone networks signal and you get internet. I think. Either way if you know their skype names add them here.” Sam said, we were sat on Helena's foam bed, just the little orange yellow light and the morning sun creeping under the garage door lit up the place. Sam's laptop was fresh and new, so lit our faces up well. My fingers went over to the key pad clicked on the typing box and wrote each of their names. Sam did some skypy stuff and added them all. Soon before any one Cosima had asked who this was, Sam replied the usual, I'm one just a few thing and soon Cosima was on our side. Alison would be up at this time anyway, having Donnie at work and the kids at school by now. Soon we were video linking. 

“Hey! I'm Sam, urm, we're like the same person so...cool.” Sam greeted waving xyr hands at the screen, I sat close to xyr just to be in the shot. If we weren't doing this xyr annoying talking speed would mean xy would be sleeping outside. Cosima was the first to wave back, really interested in what she was seeing. Alison sat there her hands folded over each other on her crafts table top, her face smiling at the screen. 

“Hi! I'm Cosima.” Cosima went to put her hand out to shake and then realised it was a computer and laughed it off. Straight away Sam and Cosima were talking and getting to know each other, Alison just sitting there and waiting like I was. 

“Enough of the puppy dog talk alrigh' we have some serious stuff to talk about.” I butted in, they both looked at me like I had just said something absolutely horrible, but Sam turned the screen over to me. Alison leant forward, I could see that out of the two of us, she liked me more, but still that wasn't ever verging on the real meaning of like. “Ok, so Sam told me that before another one of us called Danielle died she gave xyr a message, to tell Beth that Maggie Chan wasn't the mark.” 

“Maggie Chan!?” Alison perked up at the name. “Beth thought she was a mark?” Alison was sounding very dramatic with gasping, but she stopped, and calmed her tone. “What's a mark.” Sam butt in. 

“A person who you are supposed to kill. She was a mark because Danielle must have thought she wasn't the person trying to kill us.” The way xy said Danielle made me think about their connection. Whatever it was, it must have been tight because xy sounded genuinely upset. 

“Yeah so that's why she killed Maggie Chan, she thought she was the one trying to kill us, she thought she was ending it. Saving us. And she was wrong. This idiot didn't get there in time to give her the message. So we still don't know whether this was the reason, she you know...” I added in, running my hands through my hair. 

“Beth may have died because...Sam didn't get there in time?” Alison asked, trying to restrain her anger, her hand holding onto the necklace around her neck. 

“No.” I said just to save Sam from the same resentment Alison already held against me. “Beth had her reasons yeah...I'm still trying to figure out what those were.” Alison was about the speak and then stopped herself. 

“Who is..terminating us, if it wasn't M.C?” Cosima asked, already smoking up a blunt and coughing a little bit as she took it in. 

“I know the guy, I've met him-” Sam began to say, adjusting xyr hair across xyr face and smiling frowning at the screen at the memory. I nudged xyr and xy looked to me. 

“It's not the people we thought it was.” I said, I didn't know why, or why if it was Cal that I was defending him, but I just felt in my gut that it was not him. 

“Then they are still out there?! We could be next. I could be next. Why do you have to bring your issues with you ever--” Alison suddenly came out of no where, she was a mother, a lover and a load of other things. She had so much more to loose if we didn't stop these people. 

“Oi back off alright I'm trying to save your ass!” I huffed out, ignoring the being polite thing you are supposed to do with people. “I'm still working on it ok, I need to know where Maggie came from if she wasn't the mark. They obviously knew she was someone but who?” A thought came over me, Art. Find out if he knew her frequent places were or where she lived. “I have an idea.” I put my fingers up to the screen, Cosima, Alison and Sam all looked to me. It was weird having 6 eyes that all looked the same as mine staring at me. I pulled out my phone, dialled Art's number and put it to my ear. Sam began to speak but I shh'd xyr. “Art? It's... you know.” I could hear him grumble on the other end. He knew about the clones, he knew about all of this, but it was still difficult I guessed. 

“I'm at work, the search is called off what do you need me for now?” There was a tiredness to in him.

“I need information on Maggie Chan. I need to know..who she was?” I didn't really know how to word this, it was a spare of the moment situation and I was never that good at these. 

“Bet-” Art stopped himself from saying the name and moved on his side of the phone. “I can give you her address, why you need it is another story. She is a ghost, she had no accounts or mail or anything. She just exists in one place and one place only.” Art gave me her address whilst the rest of them waited. 

“Thanks Art.” I said in the most sincere way. I even meant it which took me by surprise as I hung up. “Ok I'm going to stake out Maggie house, see who goes in and how goes out.” I said, getting up form the foam and handing Sam over to the rest of them. Straight away again Sam was chatting to Cosima, they seemed to get on really well. Alison just seemed to listen taking it like a polite person that she pretended to be. I swore I saw her drinking something out of a small bottle as I got up. I walked over to the garage door for better signal and used the GPS feature of my phone that I didn't know I had until Sam showed me the night before. When Sam was mid conversation I interrupted. But before I did, Helena popped up behind Cosima and spoke. It shocked us all even Cosima looked to her. 

“I know bad man.” She said eating some Eskimo pie. “I lie. I have known him before.” Cosima flipped over on her stomach on her bed, facing her. Alison sat up straight. 

“Great you can tell us who he is and Sarah will” Alison waved her hands around, trying not to say the words but having to. “You know...kill him.” She spoke this as if it were my secret job. I gave her a sharp look. 

“Cal Morrison jr.” Helena pulled out something from her pocket. A little card thing. We all stared at her. I didn't even speak, hoping to god it wasn't Cal but also hoping that she would end this mess right now. “He is in New York. I jump him I almost kill him and he gets away. Dead baby rat.” She punched her hands together and her usual nonchalant tone took us all by surprise. 

“Here in the states?!” I asked, Alison was already jumping around her crafts room in disbelief. Cosima got up and walked over to her waving her blunt around.   
“Yup, New York. I come back here for pie.” Helena says and then walks of screen dropping the license to the floor. Cosima jumped down to the floor running it back over to us. She put the card up to the screen. When I saw the face there there was another pain in my head and my hand went up to my temples. No one noticed and Sam hadn't know me long enough to possibly know the signs. I knew Cal. I don't know where from, or why or how but I knew him. I felt like I had always known him and that same butterflies crowded my stomach. I was 100% sure I needed to stake out Maggie's house. If she was related to Cal in any way, if they were working together or even if Danielle just knew they were connected I had to find out why. I just....I didn't even want to question my brain, I was doing it and that was that. 

After stripping some cars number plates and making it virtually untraceable I parked outside of Maggie's apartment block. It was rough, rough area, rough looking building and rough people. I sunk into my chair and pulled my bomber jacket around my face to hide from passers by. For hours not even one person came out or went in and I was bored. The number to Siobhan's house already dialled on my phone screen, my thumb just hovering over whether to press call or not. I didn't for a moment and looked around, when no one was even coming up or down the road I pressed call. After a few long agonising rings she picked up. 

“Sarah.” She said a little cooly but there was something in it, like a pleasant surprise see my caller ID. 

“Miss S.” I replied back, then paused. I didn't really know what to say I just had to ring, I just had to call her to be closer to Kira. “Is Kira home?” There hope in my voice, I didn't even know what the day was at the moment but I hoped it wasn't a school day. 

“School is on today Sarah, she's out. Is that all?” I thought for a moment, I needed to show Siobhan that I was settled that I was staying put even if that was not at all what I was doing. Damn. 

“Can we talk?” I said, looking up and down the road again, a car pulled past me and didn't stop, just kept going down the road and away. “I'm still here. I am in New York still. I'm settling.” I couldn't tell her where or what I was doing and I knew if she asked it would fuck things up. But thankfully she didn't. 

“Good.” She said in a calm voice, moving on her end and sighing as if sitting down. “Well yes we can. What did you want to talk about?” 

“Kira. How is she? Is she doing good?” There was a pause on S's end, maybe giving her time to smile or do something because when she spoke again there was a more positive tone in her voice. 

“She's fine. Doing great at school, really great in fact she is top of her class. Yeah...” S trailed off. I sighed and kept looking around, no one yet. There was just a bird flapping about the door. “Apart from school she is well. Loves to paint. She's not as angry as you were at this age.” I smiled at the thought. This made my whole day, but I was still concentrating on the door. I just imagined Kira sat in the living room painting away, maybe painting me or Fe or S. Just doodling without a care in the world. 

“Does she mention me?” I thought it might be a lost cause, I had feeling that S would be a little tense and she was about this but something warmed in her and she opened up. 

“She does. When she is really tired just before she goes to bed.” Was all S replied with on that. I thanked her mentally for at least giving me that little snippet. For at least telling me that Kira still thought about me. I didn't push her either, just warmed inside from-- Someone was walking up to the entrance of her apartment block. 

“I'm sorry S somethings come up I have to go alrigh'!” I was hanging up but heard her last words. 

“Of course you do.” In a tired stressed voice. I just fucked up.

My feet power walked silently up to the doors as the man went inside and up some stairs. I couldn't get a good look at him, he had some beanie hat on a big tan jacket and flannel underneath. When I reached the door I jammed my hand between it, just so it didn't make a sound when it closed. Opening it I closed it stealthily behind me, making my way up the stairs. Before I could, I saw him stop at the top looking down at something. Biting my tongue and feeling panic rise up in my I stopped, my foot on the bottom step, waiting for him to make a move or he would hear me. Hoping to every fucking god that this person would not turn around now and see me. He advanced forward, around the stair case, and so I started coming up them again. Placing my feet on the cold moulded concrete steps so carefully that I couldn't even feel it. When I got to the top he was already lunging up the staircase above me. I began to ran, knowing that he was getting closer to wherever he was going. I couldn't find him as I walked up the last set until I reached the top, he had just walked into a room at the end of the hall. Without really caring I looked at the room number, checking it was actually Maggie's and ran in after him. Facing an empty room ahead of me. I stopped dead knowing that it was some sort of trap as I heard absolutely nothing, not even my own breath. Turning to leave the man walked out of the shadows behind the apartment door and into the light coming from a greenish light above us. He slowly pushed the door closed. It was Cal. He looked just like his dad in mostly every way except the scruff on his face was not a beard and his nose was a battered from fights. He looked strong and threatening as he looked down over to me. I didn't know what to do, if I was wrong and he was the killer I was going to die. Cal stared at me with such an intense glare I thought he might already be planning it and I was about to end my life. Instincts took over and I ran to the window pulling back the curtains and charging at it with all my might to get it open. As my hands felt the cold air rush over them I was dragged back his arms wrapped around my waist yanking me from my escape. In a mirror I could see the look of anger and rage in his face and knew this was it. I kicked back, aiming for his crotch with every blow. He didn't hold my arms down so I elbowed him in the face. He let go and fell back. 

“Hey hey!” He said pleading and angry. I didn't even know what to do, I didn't know this guy, I just felt like I did. Like when you meet a person and you connect with them straight away. But there was none of that now, just anger and...something else. “What'd you do that for?” He cried out, holding his face from my blow. I straightened my coat looking at him and breathing heavily, looking for an escape route again but his tone and what he said made me think he wasn't trying to kill me. I was confused as hell. Until he spoke again. “I'm here to help damn it!” He cried and ground his jaw, gritting his teeth as he hit his face again on the opposite side as if setting his jaw back into place. He was leant on her mantel piece on the opposite side of the room, myself nearing the window. 

“Who are you?” I called out, shouting unnecessarily to his face as he looked at me anger ripe again. He shook his head and laughed a little bit, but nothing in this was funny, it scared me a little. 

“Like you don't know?” Cal said. He was right I knew he was Cal but from his point of view how would I already know. 

“What do you mean?” I asked, frowning at him still a little out of breath, on edge waiting for him to attack or something. 

“Don't play games with me Sarah, you know you know who I am.” He stood up straighter now, suddenly reminding me of Paul, Beth's ex boyfriend. As he did my head cracked again and the pain was deeper this time, penetrating not just my head but my neck and back. He saw my distress and came over but I pushed him back with all my force as the pain spiralled through me. 

“Who are you?” I called out again, clamping my jaw hard just to focus the pain. I could see Cal was confused as hell and he didn't know what to do with himself, whether he comfort me or leave or stay or what. When the pain was over he was shouting at me whilst hunched, looking at the floor, my hands on my knees. A little trickle of blood came out of my mouth, but it was from biting my tongue when it first happened. I spat it to the floor. 

“Cal? I'm Cal? You stole 10 grand from me don't tell me you don't remember that?” As he said this pain splintered through me again, picking at my brain and chewing on all of my cells. I didn't know. I didn't remember. I had no idea who he was. Again the pain splashed my mind, feeling like my brain was actually jumping in my head, my skull felt like it was getting battered. This was only supposed to happen during treatment, this was only supposed to happen when Delphine gave me her magic machine. But now my brain was trying to repair what DYAD took from me and it was hurting like a fucking bastard. This time Cal moved forward putting his arms around me as I cried out. I didn't know what was going on but the pain was subsiding as he did. When I came back too I was still hunched over but his arms gave me some sort of comfort even if he was confused as to what was going on. 

“Sorry.” I said before I knew why, I still didn't know why I said it, I just did. 

“That's it?” He said to me, letting go after realising I was fine. I tried to stand up straight and I was a little woozy still.The echo's of pain burnt into my skull and I was trying to figure out what I remembered. 

“Yeah sorry is all I have, I'm sorry alright'” Again I was apologising without even thinking, even though in my head I mean this whole heartedly. “Now..” I said rubbing my temples with both hands. “Can you tell me what I'm sorry about.” Everything had suddenly calmed down when he came over to help me. He took this as a horrible joke and laughed.

“10 grand. The 10 grand you stole from me? Ring any of those god damn bells in your head?” He really needed to loose the fucking attitude before I punched him. But I still didn't remember, so I played along. I couldn't outright tell him that I was having these memory issues, he would think I was lying. 

“Yeah...urrrr. I am sorry about that. I can't get it back but I..you know. Sorry Cal but I have no idea about this.” I knew we knew each other from somewhere. Where or when I was still fuzzy about, but I had a feeling it would be coming back to me some time soon. Cal shook his head. 

“How did you get out?” This question was out of the blue and I had no idea what he was on about. But then realised. I was just in a mental hospital run by this top secret, multi-national cooperation just a few days ago. And I had literally walked out of a tunnel to escape...it was all a little too convenient. Although the tunnels themselves looked about 100 years old at least so they weren't purpose built or anything..unless they were. 

“I urrr walked out.” I strained through breath still trying to catch up with itself. I sat on a chair with a table set in the room and Cal joined me.

“Just like that?” He said, his eye brow raised concern all over his face for me, mixed like vodka and coke with anger. 

“Yeah pretty much. There were these tunnels or something right out of this lab/supply room in the courtyard so we went down them and it lead us into this like woody area and we got picked up by car and hid for a bit.” That was essentially what happened in a nut shell, yeah it did seem convenient. He spread his legs and put his hands together between them. We even sat the same, did I pick this up from him or did he pick it up from me? I fucking wish I could remember the 10 grand, when the hell would I have taken that? 

“Sounds a little, convenient...” Cal echoed my thoughts. 

“Yeah I know.” I said, looking the other way and avoiding his eyes. 

“What's with the coat?” Cal asked, motioning with his hand to me. Maybe he was oblivious or was choosing not to shout 'hey give my dads coat back!' but he asked it all the same and I would have to answer honestly. 

“I found it in the err, supply room by the tunnel. I was cold you know.” That was the truth, even if I wasn't explaining the whole file thing that we found to explain the coat and its meaning. And what I already knew about the guy, the bits I remembered. Maybe the whole knowing him thing was just some kind of de ja vu type of thing, where when I read about him the memory just sorta skipped into my long term memory instead of my short so I felt like I had known him longer but nope just a few seconds. Cal didn't speak. 

“Is this whole I don't remember you charade real or is it just a game you play when old marks find you?” Cal was cynical as hell and everything he said had an edge, if it wasn't for the butterflies or the way he smelt or the look on his face or his amazing eyes or how tall and strong he was....I would hate him. Maybe he didn't know about the clones and we'd fucked up, maybe another one of me stole the 10 grand. 

“Yeah sorry man, I literally have no idea how you would know me, or the other way around...or about this 10 grand stuff. You've got the wrong girl.” I said, looking around the room again and lifting my hands up to say I was innocent. Cal adjusted his seating. 

“Sarah Manning right? Sarah Manning foster child of one Siobhan Saddler, orphan up until the age of 8, moved here when she was 12, been on the run and in and out of trouble every since. Also you've favourite drink is, or was Absinthe and you love to take the top position when your having s--” Cal was smiling and I knew what he was going to say so I cut him off. 

“Anyone knows that. That doesn't prove anything. You can read all of that in my criminal record, the drinks are a lucky guess, and who doesn't like to be in control.” I tried to reason in my head why he would know all of this stuff. Absinthe was my favourite, in 5 shots your bladdered, a quick drink to fuck you up. I loved being on top, you can see the pleasure in their eyes when you're fucking them. Anyway lucky guess nothing more...Did we fuck? 

“You know me and I know you.” Cal was moving forward in his chair his anger was gone, but spots still remained. 

“How, what was this 10 grand mark shit all about?” My head was getting fuzzier and just saying those words I could feel my brain tensing up, getting ready for another onslaught of memories flooding into my head. He closed his eyes and sighed, before starting. 

“We met new years eve 2005, we had a few drinks, it ended up being more, you crashed at mine and didn't leave for 3 months and then you did. You took 10grand out of my account and I never heard from you again. You could have wiped me clean, all of the new business money coming in all of the products I was selling, you could have taken me all--”  
As he was crying about stuff that in my mind didn't even happen the buzz was building up and building, getting fizzier and fuzzier, I couldn't even see Cal in front of me, or the table or my own self, so I looked down somewhere, as the buzz was building. “I fell for you-” Cal was saying, but I couldn't see his expression or whether this was sincere or what. The buzz was turning into a haze like steam building up in a kettle, as it slowly and slowly then all at once came to the boil. 

There was no pain. But the memories still hurt like a bitch. 

“Cal I.. I think I...I remember.” Everything about him, everything about the way he smelt, his smile, his birth mark, his teeth, his furrowed brow, the way his hands were strong and held me, the way his body fit mine, the way he would get up early and kiss me on the face, making me breakfast and bringing it to me. The way he would feed the chickens, mow the law, go out in his truck to a beautiful valley, the way he would grab me from behind and take me to the bedroom. The way he loved, the way he was tender and controlled and passionate but restrained, the gentle touches and words. Even the way he looked when I left in the middle of the night. My vision was clear now and there was no echo's of pain, because the only pain I felt was the regret of leaving the man I fell in love with for some cheap scam with Vic. Leaving the father of my child. I couldn't tell him that now, it's too soon, I needed to know what he knew and what was really happening to the clones. Focus Sarah. But the way he was sat there with his scruffy beard and flannel shirt, and big boots. I knew underneath would be a solid chest with a little scruff too, I know that below that...well. As my hormones crowded my body and wanted only one thing I had to restrain myself. Change what I was thinking about. “I am sorry, I was going to clear you out and then I didn't. I couldn't. There was...and I just couldn't. I'm sorry.” 

“Sarah I fell in love with you. I loved you. I... and you left me in the middle of the night. A con artist with a conscience.” His voice was a lot less intense, drifting away into nothingness, distracted. He bit his lip, and I watched him do it. There was something new behind his mask expression, something like what I was feeling. I tried to ignore the way he bit his lip and kept going. 

“Yeah I know..urr.. yeah.” Was what I managed to come out with in my distracted mind. We didn't talk for a few moments, just watching each other. I could see his eyes drift from mine to my lips and back again. I knew he was doing that because I was doing the same to him. The tension in the air was growing and I coughed a little bit to break it, he leaned back away and his stare broke. Shite this was tense. I ran my fingers through my big dark hair and breathed in deeply. 

“So you're the guy killing us?” I said with a choked up voice. God I wanted him. I had known, no I had remembered him for less than 10 seconds and I..all of the sensations were coming back. I knew why there were butterflies in my stomach when I thought of him, when I put on his jacket, it was all...him. This took him by surprise and completely ruined the mood for him, thank god, because it was becoming a little hard to sit still when I knew that he was thinking the same as me. 

“What?” Cal responded moving closer again, an air of confusion around him. “It's not me. Trust me. The guys who are, shot me.” He lifted up his jacket and his flannel shirt and revealed his pale side just showing his toned stomach. There was a white scar across his side from poor medical care, it wasn't infected. But you could see that it must have fucking hurt a lot. A bullet wouldn't make that much mess, he must have tried to get it out himself. Shite. 

“Then who the hell is it?” I asked, confused again. All of my theories are out of the window, that is if he is telling the truth. 

“DYAD.” He whispered. He looked around shadily repeated the word. “Does that mean anything to you--” 

“Of course it does Cal I was locked up there 3 days ago.”

“No I mean, more than just a hospital, more than just the people who treated you. What does DYAD mean to you?” He was getting at something, I hated people who batted around the bush. 

“Urrr a shady bunch of fuckers who like to toy with us throughout our lives...oh yeah and who created us. Project Leda or some shit.” For the moment Cal ignored that I had mentioned the project but I saw that he flinched when I did. 

“Well.” He coughed. “They are after you, after all of you. I..I urr killed most of the people that were actually following me.” When he said that he killed them, I leant back, that was not like Cal. But then what can a girl learn about a guy in 3 months who she is only trying to steal from? “My dad was the guy who tried to stop the cloning project. There is a file full of all of this stuff, full of everything about--”

“Yeah I know, I've read it.” I knew what he was going to say, I knew that he was going to tell me about the file with all of the information in and all of the projects and who did what at what time...But I didn't want to say more, not really, when it all ends with Cal Morrison sr's death. 

“How?” He raised and eye brow at me. God I loved the way he did that. “How did you get the file?” 

“A doctor there called Delphine she was actually working for us, for..clone club.” I felt like a twat saying clone club out loud. “she gave it to me.” 

“French?” He said eye brow still raised. 

I raised one too. “Yes?” 

“Yeah when I went to give it to Leekie so he would know someone knew about the projects, about exposing them. A French doctor told me she would take it to him. I guess she lied and stole it, gave it to you? That bitch.” Cal's hand went up to his mouth and he stroked around his scruff looking up to the ceiling and thinking. I leaned back forward putting my arms on the table, suddenly remembering that we were in Maggie Chan's place. The reason I was here was not to fantasise about Cal it was to find out what he knew. 

“Maggie Chan.” I just let the ball rolling in the air. 

“What do you know about her?” He replied, his eye brow raised but in a different way, as serious was as his brow furrowed. His hands were on the table too mirroring mine. 

“What do you? “ I flipped the question on him I already knew what I knew, I didn't know what he did. But I figured, he asked me first. “I know that Beth killed her. I know that Beth thought Maggie Chan was the one killing us, was she right?” I put it out there again, and to be honest I didn't know much more, only what Sam had told me when we were talking. 

“She wasn't trying to kill you. She...was working for me. I was tracking down all of the clone-” He said the c word very strangely and slowly as if waiting for a reaction, when he got none he continued. “I found out that you were...falling ill. I'm a doctor you know, a specialist in illness. The same type of specialist as my dad was.” He paused. I just watched his lips. “I was caught up in Ukraine, with someone called Helena?” He looked to me, I nodded, obviously knowing who she was. There was a sense of relief on his face from somewhere, was he expecting me to be shocked or cry or to be happy or something? I couldn't quite read him. “That's when this happened.” He lifted his tops up again and showed me dropping them once more. “They shot her, she shot me and I got the hell out of there. And told Maggie to find Beth, Beth was the next one I was going to after Europe. I had to get her samples and see if she was developing the illness. I guess Beth heard about DYAD or whoever following me around Europe and killing..you guys... I came back here, after a call from Maggie, there was a gun shot, and I now know she was killed. I tried to find Beth and then couldn't. I found you instead in the DYAD institute.”

“You found me?” This was news to me. I literally hadn't seen him in 8 years, since..you know. At this point I didn't really want to say Beth was dead but I had to I guessed. 

“I impersonated the doctor who admitted you. I'm becoming you.” He laughed a little bit at the thought, giving me a cheeky look. God I loved it when he did that. 

“Beth took her own life back in October.” I said, cooling myself down a little bit. Jesus he had an affect on me. It was horrible using her death as a turn off, but it needed to be said in every sense. Cal stopped and was sorrowful watching me. 

“Why?” He replied with a coolness in his voice. That was the question wasn't it? Why did she do it? I had my ideas, but why exactly after all had happened she felt the need too, and why was she addicted to prescription drugs? Maybe that was an added factor, maybe that's what made her pull the trigger without thinking on Maggie and that's what made her plead guilty. Art said that he helped cover up the murder by putting a phone in her hand...but Cal had said that she knew Maggie was shot when he heard it on the phone call. Maybe Art didn't cover it up, or maybe he thought he had? Beth told me that she told the case that Maggie had a gun, which turned out to be a mobile phone. Maybe Art saw the phone when she dropped put it in her hand and he thought he had covered up...Whatever happened there we would never actually known. But it was a horrible event whatever side you were on. 

“We don't know. I'm trying to find out, stop people who are killing us and I'm fucking off with Kira...” Shite. I wasn't going to mention Kira, his eyes perked up. “She's my daughter.” Do I tell him he's the dad. Do I wait, if I tell him now he might want to meet her and I have to do that on my own first. I'll wait, he will wait. “She's 8.” Was all I said and then I got up. “So DYAD are killing us right, I need to tell the others.” 

“Others?” Cal asked, he knew about the others of course he did, there was some kind of list at the back of the file of all of our names, I chose not look, the less involved the better. “Mind if I come along. I need to test to see if you're going to develop the illness too. I kinda need a lab to do that.” Something in Cal had changed, he was softer, I hoped to god he didn't put two and two together and figure out Kira was his, if he had he did not say. He stood up too, coming a little closer than I would have expected to my side. I caught his scent then, he smelled the same as the jacket. No wonder I loved it. God, no, Sarah keep your shit together.


	19. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is very short, but I felt like I needed to input something to the story as I have been a little occupied recently with essays and work to be doing, but I shall get back on track I have whole new ideas for where this could go now :) Please leave kudos if you want to, and please please comment even if you hate it or think it's drab or the opposite :)

Part 19

Even Cosima didn't know what to say as we all sat in her apartment. Cal close to my side our legs together and hands on our own laps. Alison had made her way up here too and was sat awkwardly on a bean bag trying to have good posture but just not quite getting it. Cosima and Delphine sat a little bit away from Alison on a big bean bag for two and were cuddled in close although not in a romantic fashion slight subconscious protection mechanism maybe. Helena sat on the floor cross legged with Sam who was leaning xyr back on the arm of the sofa. Cal and I took the sofa and all eyes were on us. 

“Well at least you're not our guy.” Cosima finally said, I was hoping she would be the one to talk, someone had to. It was just a few days now since Cal and I had met, I was trying to organise some time for all of us to get together. But they were all reluctant. Cal smiled happy to have someone talk, and softly grunted a reply. A friendly grunt, if that is possible, Cal made it possible. 

“Let's cut the shit yeah?” I said after another long pause, hoping someone else would join with me but everyone was quite. Except Alison who suddenly stood up proclaiming that she needed a drink and searching the kitchen for something strong. Delphine eventually got up when Alison collapsed onto a counter and began to cry. She shoved some very expensive vodka into Alison's hand, which she took in one. “DYAD are still after us, Cal has some information, we just need to hear it. We are sad, we're all safe.” To be honest even I didn't trust the words. All that we knew was Cal was being followed by DYAD, I was suddenly rethinking whether I should have got us all here together in one place, with Cal. But I figured if anything happened, that I would be ok. We would all be ok. Helena was a fucking psycho who was obsessed with protecting us, Cal already killed a few of them, Delphine was shady as hell so she probably knew how to kill and I had been around. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. 

“Oh don't give me that horse trap!” Alison erupted. “We are not safe. My kids are not safe, my husband, you or me. None of us are safe. And you brought the one way to be captured by DYAD right into our group. In fact we are all here together. Who's idea was this any way, Cal's? Because is it all a little convenient isn't it, we are together with the guy just a week ago we thought would kill us.” Alison was shouting and we were all taking it, poor Delphine was standing next to her getting a earful. But she had a point. I looked to Cal and grabbed his hand, but as I went to do so he got up stubborn as hell and anger built up inside of him, but he did not shout. 

“Listen, Alison, the lot of you. I am not going to hurt you damn it. I am here to help.” That seemed to be the only thing he said, he said this to all of us when he met them. What exactly was he going to help with, we were all fine. 

“Help with what? Help DYAD capture us, torture us, terminate a broken experiment?” Alison gulped down more of the liquid and ignored the burn in her throat. 

“You are all going to die.” He said, his voice was raised, pleading. Alison shut up and just stared, we all did. “I was investigating an illness that is inbuilt in your DNA, your design was to have an illness, you were designed to expire.” Cal grabbed his chin with his hand, his scruff had gotten scruffier over the last few days. At least we were both able to shower at Cosima's place. I still had the bomber jacket, and I had still not told Cal about Kira. Who I hadn't heard anything about in the last few days. “In Europe I found Katija, Danielle, Janika and the rest, all with the same symptoms the same issues and the same death. Cancer, a form of cancer which will rip through you, starting at your uterus and eventually killing you.”

“Why our uterus?” Cosima asked, they both sat up, the scientists in the room were getting a buzz and I guessed they were the only ones talking about it. They were saying lots of sciency stuff and I tried to pay attention as much as I could, but I just couldn't understand even half of the words they were saying. Except one phrase left me partially speechless. 

“Render you infertile from birth.” Cal was saying, Cosima and Delphine paused and they continued talking again, as if nothing happened. Helena must have heard it too and so got up going over to them. Alison had heard but did not move, she just drank more and was relying a little too heavily on the counter side for support. Sam just looked up to me with a stern and worried expression. Helena was saying things in Ukrainian to them and they just ignored it, having no idea what to say to her. Then I spoke, and they shut up. 

“Infertile?!” I shouted at them, Cal, Delphine and Cosima looked up, but Delphine bowed her head and looked to the floor like a puppy getting caught chewing on something it shouldn't. “They made us infertile?” I repeated to them. Cal looked down too, even though Cosima had just been discussing the ins and outs of it with them, the scientific terminology took the edge of the matter of fact. They were created with something fundamentally human missing, the instinct to create, to survive, the one way in which to do this, to reproduce. The basic human instinct of survival was gone. An empty shell living like a person, but with no meaning. Biologically the meaning of life is to produce, life to create more life. Without that, biologically speaking there was no point, even Cosima could see that. Maybe Beth already knew. I had even read the file, but they did not word the illness like this, they did not say that we would be infertile. I was freaking the shit out as they began to talk again, feeling out of the loop I was about the say something more and then stopped myself. Why was I freaking out, when I already had Kira. Maybe the illness skipped me. And if all the European clones were dead or dying then why didn't we already have it, why were we safe. 

There was a knock at the door. It sound impatient as if it had knocked before. In our haste and heated discussions we had missed it. This time without thinking I ran to Cosima's bedroom, ushered the rest of the clones to follow suit and hide but there was no time. Because one second after me thinking this through the door was blown through, smoke escalating through it as men in uniform crashed through, the exact description Alison had made on the phone. We all shat our selves as there was at least 2 guns trained at each of our heads. There was no more time to hide. Cal turned around, being the only one facing away from the door now. 

“I don't think that is wise.” Leekie's voice cracked through the room, he walked in through the door, in a black suit, a body armer jacket on. I blinked a few times to make sure that it was actually him. Aldous Leekie, the guy who supposedly was dead. Delphine even said he was dead. I looked to her, she licked her lips and her face drained of colour. He was holding something in his hand, playing with it as he spoke. What he said was directed at Cal, who whilst turning was also pulling out a gun from his crotch. His hands fell limp of it and he turned fully around hands up. We all did the same. Leekie crossed over to us from the door the men with guns around the room like enclosing us in a circle, all routes of escape closed off. Helena was with Cosima who was staring disbelieving at him, Delphine and Cal still in the middle. A woman in the same uniform was holding Alison's hands behind her back, they obviously thought her drunken behaviour was going to be unpredictable. “I have to say thank you Cal for leading us here. All of them at once. This is your most amazing feet yet.” Leekie was speaking as if he had planned this whole thing with Cal, Cal didn't respond just tensed his jaw and glared at him. I watched this whole thing pan out, Cal and Leekie's eyes were locked like stags fighting yet neither said a word. Leekie faked the whole thing. I figured none of us were allowed to speak as no one did, and I could see the man on the other side of the gun pointed at me flex his finger. Something in me knew Cal didn't actually plan this with him, but the others must have thought so. They barely trusted him anyway and now DYAD were here. Alison was groaning at the woman restraining her, Leekie lost the eye contact and addressed us again with a smile. “Vacations are often spent on beaches with cocktails, straw hats and sea...but you are all going to a very different place. We feel as if you are all getting out of hand, we could accept one or even two being self aware, but all of you..inevitable but unpredicted.” Leekie moved over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders. I grunted at him, ready to fucking kick the shit into him, I almost did, before remembering the guns. I would be dead before I could even land a punch. Maybe my ghost would do it. Everyone looked at me with cautious eyes, careful not to move or make a different facial expression. Delphine was even putting her hands up, she was selling it well. Leekie went to open his mouth, but Delphine spoke aloud, her tone serious, raised, and demanding.  
“Aldous what the hell is this?” She started, Leekie looked at me, his face a little close to mine for comfort and then turned to her, playing with whatever it was in his hand, tacs maybe? “You are supposed to be dead!.” Delphine spat with venom, I was almost about to mentally punch her for about the 70th time since I met her, but I stopped. Cosima surely must be mind blowing in bed for her to switch sides. I still had questions I wanted to ask about the infertility, why I was fertile. But I let it drop, somehow I realised I would not get an answer. The bigger question here was what the actual fuck, Leekie?

“Delphine you're leading me to believe that you are naïve. Did you actually believe that I was dead. No. I am not. I am fit and brand new. I'm back to collect my due, my little girls are becoming feral. They need to be retrained.” It was strange to hear Leekie talk like this, he was a sullen man, soft spoken, with a charismatic undertone. He could make you believe anything, for a while I even believed I was Beth. But I soon shut that illusion down. Leekie was seeming to speak like a super villain you read or watch in the comics and cartoons, he would make a dramatic entrance and then spew his whole plan, lay the whole thing out and bask in the glory of it, whilst missing one crucial factor that whom he was telling knew it all. Yet somehow I was seriously doubting that we would some how get free of this, armed guards, Leekie, the whole of DYAD knowing exactly where we were. If we did it would be a fucking miracle. I looked once more between Delphine and Leekie before the rest of the room. Leekie was coming back to me his face grinning from ear to ear. That fucking bastard. Half of me thought that Leekie had killed Cal's dad, somehow in his twisted way, working so closely with him, I knew that he had some part in that fire. Helena was hissing at the guard who's gun was trembling near her, Leekie shot the guard a look and they tightened up. Before Leekie reached me Sam coughed. Leekie looked around, confused and entertained. “A new clone!” He exclaimed, clapping his hands together and walking over to xyr. Sam was confused as fucked, looking at Leekie, never having seen him before. Xyr face was pale too, staring at Leekie coming forward. I just realised that xy would probably have no idea what the hell was going on, xy wasn't clued up on the whole DYAD institute for the criminally insane part. The whole of me knew that xy would know enough soon. “And what might your name be?” Leekie asked. He had completely changed since his fake death, he was charismatic and a little insane. Something told me that his fake death, wasn't his idea and that when E told me Leekie was away, back before my last session, I had a feeling E knew where and it was not planning his death. Sam was croaking out xyr name, as soon as xy did the grin from Aldous' face left him. 

“That's not your name.” He said, he was serious all of a sudden. Bending down slightly to get a closer look. Maybe he hated Sam as much as I did, but Sam was my clone and family so he can fuck off if he was going to question xyr name. 

“My real name is Hannah Hutson, I changed it a few years ago.” Sam's voice broke. Leekie smiled wearily and walked away. 

“It doesn't matter. Where you are going you don't need names.” Leekie said, walking out of the door. As soon as he grazed the door, the men charged at us guns still aimed. Helena fought back but one smashed her in the back of the head with the butt of the gun, she fell into the other guards arms. I took this distraction to act, running, but the grabbed me from behind yanking me backwards. I lost my footing and fell to my knees, trying to get up I shoved at the guards but it was useless. One stabbed something into my neck and all of my efforts to move failed. Slowly my eyes went hazy and my neck throbbed, I glared around the room as each of the others were dragged out. Eventually my eyes went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to mark this work as completed and not write any more as I felt like I was just bumming it along. I WILL CONTINUE IT AT SOME POINT. Maybe when I figure some story line to keep it going. But now it's come to an awkward and sudden end, but I hope you will read some more of my stuff when the time comes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this far, I hope you enjoy the rest. It only gets better in this fic.


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